Highland Destiny (24 page)

“I was careful. I didnae rip it off as I felt inclined to.”

She curled her arms around his neck. “It has been a verra long time, hasnae it?” she whispered against his lips.

“Too long.”

“But, ’tis our wedding night. We should at least try to control our greed.”

She wriggled free of his grasp to kneel at his side, smiling sweetly at his frown. Her desire for him was so strong it made her weak, and she found that an amusing contradiction. Maldie was determined to gain some control over her passion, however. This was her wedding night, a once in a lifetime event, and she wanted their coming together to be something special. The first time she and Balfour were joined as man and wife should not be some hasty, greedy, blind coupling. She knew she was too hungry for him to fulfill all of her fancies, but she was determined to at least try and fulfill one or two.

“I am feeling verra greedy indeed, lass.” He muttered a curse when he reached for her and she gently slapped his hands away.

“As I am, but one of us must show some restraint and ’tis clear that that willnae be you.”

“I am nay sure I like the idea that ye have some restraint to grasp,” he grumbled, then murmured his pleasure as she slowly began to remove his clothes.

Maldie took every opportunity she could grasp to kiss him and stroke him as she tugged off his clothes. The way he trembled beneath her touch had her own passions soaring, and control grew harder to maintain. When he was finally naked she kissed him from head to toe and back up again, careful not to linger over the pleasurable chore, knowing his need was already at a painful height.

She straddled him, easing their bodies together. Maldie hesitated a moment to catch her breath, pleased to hear that Balfour was breathing as hard as she was. Grasping tightly at the few threads of control she had left, she smiled sweetly at Balfour as she
slowly pulled off her chemise. She cried out in surprise, then gasped in pleasure when he abruptly sat up, held her close, and began to hungrily kiss her breasts. As she threaded her fingers through his thick hair, she decided that she had been strong enough.

His lovemaking grew fierce and Maldie reveled in it. Balfour grasped her by the hips and moved her slowly at first, then faster. He kissed her, the thrust of his tongue shadowing the movement of his body within hers. Thus entwined, he drove them to the release they both craved. Their cries blended perfectly as they found that release as one.

“Ah, Maldie, my wild temptress,” he murmured a long time later, as he eased the intimacy of their embrace and held her close. “I had thought to love ye slowly, to make our first time as mon and wife a long, sweet loving. I had planned for hours of reveling in our passion, not mere moments.”

She idly rubbed her foot up and down his strong calf. “I tried, but my boast of restraint proved to be a false one.”

“Ye had more than I.”

“We can blame my uncle for this. ’Tis his fault we were kept apart so long that we were too starved for each other to endure long and sweet.” She looked at him and tenderly caressed his cheek. “I can wait for long and sweet. We have a lifetime now.”

“Aye.” He sighed and watched her closely as he said, “There are a few things I need to tell you. I should have told ye them ere I asked ye to marry me, but I feared they would make ye so angry ye would say no.”

Maldie tensed, fear briefly gripping her heart, then she forced herself to calm down. Balfour was a good man, too good to have many secrets or ones that would be too dark and horrifying to accept. She doubted he could even match the weight of the ones she had held tight to for so very long. Although she could not even begin to guess what he felt he had to confess to, she felt sure that she would find it easy to forgive and forget.

“Are these verra bad things ye are about to tell me?” she asked.

“Nay, but they willnae make ye think too kindly of me, I fear.”

“Then spit them out, quickly, with no added words or explanations. This is not a night we should spend angry with each other, but ’tis also the perfect time for such truths.” She took a deep breath and silently swore that she would be reasonable and would keep reminding herself of all he had forgiven her. “Tell me.”

“Do ye recall the first time we shared this bed?”

“A foolish question. Aye, I do. Ye said ye couldnae play the game of seduction any longer, that ye wanted me too badly to keep taking a wee taste then having to step back.”

“And I swear that was the truth. ’Twas just not the full truth, not the only reason I pushed ye into becoming my lover.”

“Ye didnae have to push too hard,” she murmured.

“I had seen Nigel’s interest in you,” he continued, ignoring her soft interruption. “I wanted to mark you that night, Maldie. I wanted to mark ye as mine and no one else’s. I wanted Nigel to see as only a mon can that ye were mine. God’s beard, I wanted ye to see it, too.” He watched her cautiously, his eyes widening when he saw no sign of anger on her face. “I used the passion ye felt for me to push ye into bed ere ye were ready, because I wanted Nigel to ken that ye were taken.”

“That is your big confession?” she asked. “Ye have been fretting o’er that for months, have ye?” She crossed her arms behind her head and fought the urge to laugh, afraid it might insult him.

“That and one or two other things,” he said, not sure how to judge the odd mood she was in. He expected anger, but she looked almost amused.

“Tell me all.”

“I didnae need to make ye come to Donncoill at all. Weel, at the time I didnae think so, for I kenned naught about Grizel. I looked at you, I wanted you, and then I thought of a way to keep ye near at hand. I had every intention of seducing you.”

“Shameful.”

Balfour narrowed his eyes and studied her closely. It looked as if she was trying very hard to control some strong emotion, but he could not begin to guess what feeling she was trying to hide. Although he was a little afraid to continue, he knew he had to. They could not begin their marriage with any secrets between them. She had confessed to all of her deceptions. It was only fair that he confess to all of his own.

“The last…”

“There is more?”

He just frowned and stubbornly continued, “I have already spoken of the time that I suspected you of betraying me, but I didnae tell ye all of the reasons why I did.” He took a deep breath to steady himself, knowing he was going to appear a witless fool and that that brief time of idiocy could deeply offend her. “Aye, I think ye understand how I could suspect ye simply because ye became my lover.” She nodded, her lips pressed tightly together. “Weel, ’twas a wee bit more than that which fed my suspicions. Not only had ye chosen me as your lover, but ye were a verra good one.”

Her eyes grew very wide, she choked out the words
sweet Jesu
, turned onto her stomach, and buried her face in the pillow. Balfour was horrified. He had not anticipated that she would respond to his confession with tears. He awkwardly patted her on the back as he frantically tried to think of something to say to comfort her. A moment later he frowned, leaning down and futilely trying to see her face. He had never heard Maldie cry, but he began to be certain that she was not crying now. His eyes widened as he listened more closely to the muffled sounds she was making.

“Maldie, are ye laughing?” he demanded, his voice softened by shock and confusion.

She flopped onto her back, still chuckling as she wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “Aye, and ’tis glad I am that ye finally guessed, for I was near to smothering myself in that cursed pillow. I am sorry, Balfour. I mean no insult.” She reached out to touch his cheek. “Such dark sins ye confess.”

“Now ye make jest of me,” he murmured as he laid down in her arms, relaxing for the first time since he had decided to confess everything to her. “We are now mon and wife. I wanted us to begin our marriage with only the truth between us.”

“A laudable plan. But, Balfour, ye worried yourself o’er naught. Aye, mayhap ye didnae act in the most honorable way, but compared to the lies I told and the deceptions I indulged in, I fear yours simply dinnae measure up.” She grinned when he laughed.

“Then I declare ye the winner in the games we played with each other.”

“Thank ye.”

“Howbeit, it wasnae right for me to plot so hard to seduce you.”

“Be at ease, my bonny brown mon. I was plotting as hard as ye at times.” She readily returned his quick kiss. “I wanted you from the start as weel. Aye, mayhap I didnae plot and plan as ye did, but I grew verra skilled at telling myself lies, convincing
myself that I could do as I pleased e’en though most of the world and its confessor would condemn me for it. And, aye, I was even able to unfairly set all blame upon your shoulders from time to time.”

“Ye forgive a mon his faults verra easily.”

“When his faults are that he wants me, desires me, and tries verra hard to get me, ’tis nay so hard. Nay e’en the last sin ye confessed to is verra easy to forgive. What woman can be hurt by the fact that the mon she loves thinks she is a good lover? In truth, I am just sorry that foolish women left ye feeling so unsure of your worth that ye could think it odd that
I
would want you.”

“I love ye, Maldie Murray.” He smiled faintly when she grimaced. “What have I said now?”

“Maldie Murray.” She shook her head. “I didnae think this through verra weel at all. It has the taste of a lilt some minstrel would use when he cannae think of the words.” She giggled as he laughed.

“’Tis music to my ears. I can think of no sweeter sound than that of your name joined with mine.”

She curled her arms around his neck. “Ye are getting much better with your flatteries, husband.” Maldie covered his hand with hers when he began to caress her breasts, halting his gentle touch. “There is one more thing we must discuss ere we lose ourselves in the joys of our wedding night.”

“No more confessions, please.”

“Nay, I have no more. I saw ye speaking with Nigel ere we left the great hall. The solemn looks upon your faces told me he wasnae wishing ye weel, that ye spoke of much weightier matters.” She decided not to tell him of how she had felt the deep sadness between him and Nigel, for Balfour sometimes found her ability to sense a person’s feelings a little uncomfortable. “Is there some trouble lurking around the corner that ye havenae told me about?”

Balfour touched his forehead to hers. “Nay and aye. There is no enemy trying to kill me or mine or take my lands. This trouble lurks within our own family. Nigel willnae be at our morning feast.”

“Why?” she asked in a soft voice, dreading his answer.

“He rides away at dawn to fight in France.”

Maldie could hear the pain in his voice and she held him close. “I am so sorry, Balfour.”

“This is not your doing.”

“Of course it is my doing. ’Tis because of me he is leaving, isnae it?”

“Nay, ’tis because he loves you as any mon with good eyes and a heart must. I ken that ye did nothing to encourage him.”

“I could have perhaps discouraged him more than I did.”

“Nay.” He idly brushed a few wisps of hair from her face. “Lass, we became lovers right before his verra eyes, and that didnae change how he felt. Ye telling him to look elsewhere certainly wouldnae have stopped him. Nothing could have stopped me.”

“Or me,” she said and sighed. “When we were apart and I thought ye didnae want me, I learned the pain of loving someone who doesnae love you. I would wish that upon no mon or woman. I at least had sweet memory to cling to.”

“The fact that Nigel doesnae have that, that he has ne’er e’en kissed the one he
longs for, may weel be his salvation. He believes he can cure himself.”

“I pray he does, for his place is here with ye and Eric. He belongs at Donncoill, and I dinnae think he will be happy until he has come home again. Mayhap he will find what he seeks in France.”

“As I found what I needed on the road to Dubhlinn,” he said, and brushed a kiss over her mouth. “I would ne’er have guessed that my destiny would be standing there with tangled hair and a sharp tongue. I love ye, my green-eyed temptress.”

“No more than I love ye.”

“Do ye challenge me?” he asked, grinning down at her as he pinned her beneath his body.

“Aye, I do. Are ye mon enough to meet it?”

“It could take a long time to decide a winner.”

“We have a lifetime,” she murmured. “And I can think of no better way to spend our years together than in showing each other how much love we have.”

“Neither can I, Maldie Murray. Neither can I.”