Highlander Unchained (39 page)

“I guess we’ll never know, since you never gave me the chance to decide.”

“I always intended to tell you the truth.”

“When it was too late for me to change my mind?”

“I couldn’t take the chance that you would.” He gave her a long, penetrating look. “I know how you feel about arranged marriages, and I didn’t want to lose you.”

She laughed, a sharp sound bereft of humor. “How unfortunate that your plan didn’t quite work out.”

“But it did,” he said quietly.

“You’re an even bigger fool than I am if you think I will marry you now.”

She didn’t like his expression. It made her feel he knew something she didn’t. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” he said with a note of warning. “We can go through with the ceremony—”

“No! I won’t marry you.”

His mouth tightened. “It’s too late.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. The ceremony hasn’t even begun.”

“The ceremony isn’t necessary.”

Flora felt a prickle of alarm. “What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath. “The contracts have been signed, and last night we agreed to marry.”

She blanched. His strange pronouncement of their intention to marry before her cousin and brother suddenly became clear. “You tricked me,” she whispered, though why she was surprised, she didn’t know. Hadn’t he done so from the start? Her next thought cut her to the quick. Raw emotion tore at her throat, making her voice ragged and tight. “Is that why you came to me last night?” Not to make love, but to consummate their agreement. Consummation following their words of intent to marry would be all he needed to make a valid claim of marriage.

“I would have come to you anyway.”

“Yes, but this time there was another purpose.” She could feel the pain erupting in her chest. “Wasn’t there?”

“I hoped it wouldn’t be necessary, but I could take no chances in case Rory tried to put a stop to the wedding. I did it for your protection as much as mine.”

Flora made a sharp sound of disbelief. “My protection? You can’t really expect me to believe that.”

“It’s the truth.”

“No, the truth is that you’ve lied to me since the day we met. The truth is that you stood before my cousin and brother and proclaimed our intent to marry, and then you sealed your treachery by using my body.” God, the thought that he could hold her so tenderly, make love to her like that, all the while knowing how he was betraying her—it made her ill.

He seemed to be fighting to control his patience. “I have never used your body. You gave yourself to me willingly, Flora. More than once.” He pulled her a little closer and lowered his voice dangerously. “Bargain or not, I would never let you go. We belong together, don’t you see that?”

Tears burned in her throat as she looked at the man she’d thought she loved. At the man she’d given her heart. She couldn’t stand it. It hurt so much. The walls closed in around her. She felt as if she were being backed into a corner. Her darkest fear had come true: She was being forced into marriage.

“Don’t do this,” she pleaded.

He looked at her stonily. “It’s done.”

“It doesn’t need to be. Not if you don’t say anything.” They were the only people who knew of this irregular marriage. If neither of them chose to press the claim, no one would ever know. “Please, let me go.”

His eyes softened. “Flora, I…” He hesitated, but only for an instant. “I can’t. I want this marriage, and not just to free my brother. I love you. I know you are hurt, but it will pass—and you will see that this is for the best.”

His face was racked with torment, but she was immune. It was all an act. He was every bit as ruthless as she’d first thought. A coldhearted chief who would do anything to win his prize.

She took a step away from him, seeing him clearly for the first time. His betrayal cut like a knife, eviscerating her love for him as cleanly as if it had never been.

She was killing him. Lachlan felt as though he’d taken a whip and lashed it across her back. He’d hurt her, splayed her open, and made her bleed. Even knowing that this was how it had to be did not lessen his feeling of responsibility. The pain that swam in her eyes and trembled in her voice was infinitely worse than he’d imagined. He knew how much she hated being forced into anything, but he’d hoped that she would at least try to understand his predicament.

He’d tried to stay calm in the face of her wild accusations, but it was becoming increasingly difficult since she stubbornly refused to listen. His instincts not to tell her of his bargain with her cousin because of her reaction had proved correct, but knowing that he was right didn’t make this conversation any easier.

“Please,” she begged. The soft plea tugged at his heart. “If you care for me at all, don’t—”

“Care for you?” he exploded, wanting to grab her and shake the truth into her. “Have you been listening to anything I’ve said? I
love
you. Do you think I want to hurt you? This is tearing me apart. Since the day you slipped the dirk into my side, nothing else has been more important than making you mine.”

“That’s possession,” she said dully. “Not love.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve done nothing but try to prove my love to you since the moment I realized what you meant to me.”

“You’ve proved nothing except that you are an accomplished liar.”

His mouth tightened as he fought to keep a tight rein on his control when he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and force her to listen to him—in the way she could not deny. She was slipping away from him, and he’d never felt so damn helpless. He had to make her understand. He grasped her by the shoulders and stared deep into her eyes, forcing her to listen. “I love you. I’ve never said those words to another woman in my life. I’m not one of your eloquent courtiers—if that isn’t enough for you, I don’t know what more I can say. I did what I had to do to save my brother and my clan. I wish that you had not been involved, but you were, and I can’t change that.”

“You didn’t love me enough to give me the truth. I thought I’d found someone who wanted me for myself—not for what I could bring them.”

“I do want you, Flora.”

“But I can never be sure.” She looked at him, her heart breaking in her eyes. “God, I trusted you. I thought you were different.”

He was tired of her inability to see past her own blind fears. It wasn’t simply her happiness that was at stake here. “Do you think I wanted to lie to you? You don’t know how badly I wanted to tell you the truth.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Damn it, Flora. You are so stuck in the past and caught up in your own romantic fantasies that you can’t see the real world. You see everything as black and white, but it’s not so simple. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions, that’s what I do—I’m chief. But you have no concept of duty or what it means to be in charge and responsible. My brother’s life is at stake. What would you have me do?” She looked at him blankly, and he continued, “John is in the pit prison now because I was so damn scared of losing you that I tried to make a last-ditch effort to free him—just so I wouldn’t need your cousin’s help. So you couldn’t accuse me of ulterior motives like you are doing right now. But the rescue failed, John was tossed in the pit, and I had no choice but to rely on your cousin. Don’t you see that my brother is suffering? Every minute John spends in that hellhole could be his last. Argyll has the writ that will set him free. Would you see him die for your pride?”

She flinched as if he’d struck her. His brother’s plight had penetrated her hurt and anger in a way his declarations of love could not. He knew her compassion and her tender heart. She would not jeopardize his brother’s life, not even if it tied her to a man she despised.

He knew he’d won, but there was no satisfaction, only despair, in his victory.

She stood stiffly before him, her face a waxen mask. But it was the hollow look in her eyes that sent a trickle of alarm running through his veins.

“You will have your writ,” she said dully.

Relief swept over him…for only a moment.

“But I’ll never forgive you for this.”

The cold certainty in her voice chilled him to the bone. She’d cut him off. He reached for her, but she recoiled from his touch. His chest twisted at her rejection, and he dropped his hand to his side. He would make it up to her. She just needed time.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She didn’t look at him again, but turned on her heel and left him—alone and emptier than he’d ever felt in his life.

The ceremony and feast passed in a haze. Sitting at the dais that had been set up for the celebration, Flora watched the festivities taking place before her, but they sped by in a blurred whirl of color.

She was detached, an observer. She felt cold and empty, like a marble statue on display.

Not once did she give a hint of the bitterness and heartbreak churning inside. She’d plastered a serene smile on her face and weathered the storm of congratulations from the seemingly endless stream of well-wishers that passed before the table. Only Rory and Mary had sensed there might be something wrong. But she’d dismissed their concerns with a plea of exhaustion—from all the excitement.

Sitting next to him was excruciating. Her unrelenting awareness of him seemed yet another betrayal. That her body could still crave him after what she’d learned was shameful. Every word of their confrontation seemed branded on her consciousness. He’d arranged their marriage with her uncle, tricked her, and then lashed out at her, accusing her of being selfish and not seeing reality. Had he actually thought she would understand that he’d used her?

She’d avoided his gaze all day, not daring to look at him—her husband—because then she might fall apart. Might give way to the agony she’d bottled up inside when she’d realized that she had to go through with this. What should have been the happiest day of her life had turned into a slog through hell. A cruel farce of what might have been.

But it wasn’t over. Not yet. She would do her part, but that was all.

So she’d suffered through the agony of her own wedding feast, waiting for the moment when she could leave.

The sounds of revelry seemed smothering: the laughing, the dancing, the lilting sound of the pipes. It was too much. She couldn’t bear another moment.

She stood up, legs unsteady. The strain of the day seemed to overwhelm her at once. It had taken every ounce of her strength to make it to this point, and she felt she might crumple to the floor in a sobbing heap at any moment. She’d lost everything.

“I find the excitement of the day has gotten to me,” she said to Lachlan on her left and her cousin on her right. “I think I shall retire for the evening.”

Argyll frowned. “You look a little pale and have seemed a bit subdued all day. Is something wrong?”

Everything. After what he’d done, her cousin’s concern seemed laughable. Argyll had played just as much a part in this as Lachlan. The difference was that from him, she’d expected the manipulation.

“I’m fine,” she said a bit too harshly. Then, seeing Lachlan stiffen at her side, she said more evenly, “Nothing that a good night’s rest won’t cure. I’ll send for the healer and see if she has something that might help me rest.”

Argyll gave Lachlan a knowing look. “Rest?” She heard the amusement in his voice. “I’m sure your new husband will ensure that you are well rested.”

Lachlan ignored Argyll’s suggestive remark and gave her a meaningful glance. “I will send for Seonaid and join you soon.”

She bit back the angry retort that sprang to her lips. If he thought…She stiffened.
Never
.

Aware of their audience, she forced a brittle smile to her face. “No need to rush.”

From the angry flicker in his eyes, she knew he understood.

It was a few hours later when Lachlan made his way up the tower stairs to Flora’s chamber. It had been one of the most difficult days of his life. The only bright spot was the moment Argyll had handed him the writ. Even now, Allan and a group of guardsmen were preparing to ride to Blackness. If all went as planned, John would be back at Drimnin by sunrise. Only the fact that it was his wedding night prevented him from joining them.

Watching Flora float through the day as if she were a ghost had been hell. Each time she’d forced a shaky smile to her lips was like an arrow darting in his chest. All he wanted to do was enfold her in his arms and soothe the hurt, but he was the last person she wanted comfort from.

She’d looked heartbreakingly beautiful, like a faerie princess in her golden gown and jeweled headpiece. But never had she looked more fragile. As if she were a piece of decorative glass that might break if touched.

And she hadn’t worn the shoes. The rejection of his gift stung because he knew it was not the slippers she rejected, but him.

He’d expected anger, but not this haunting cold resolve—cold resolve that was infinitely more worrisome because he didn’t know how to break through it. He’d never felt so damn helpless. It was almost as if she’d cut him out of her heart.

He wouldn’t believe it.

Once he held her in his arms again, it would all come back. She would never be able to deny what was between them. She was angry, hurt, and stubborn—not a promising combination—but he would make her understand. They’d taken vows, after all.

He stood before her door. For a moment, he hesitated. Perhaps he should give her some time and let her rest tonight?

No. No matter how it had happened, they were man and wife. The sooner she realized there was no changing that fact, the better. He couldn’t take the chance that she would slip further from him. This was their wedding night.

He rapped firmly on the door and grabbed the handle to push it open. It didn’t budge. Anger surged inside him.

His new wife had barred the damn door.

Chapter 19