Hillary_Flesh and Blood (7 page)

“
Are these new?
”
he asked, referring to the red lace thongs she had been wearing.

Kathy shook her head, lying.

“
Liar!
”
Michael erupted, slapping her across the face. The sting radiated down to her jaw, exacerbating her pain. She sobbed heavily, cringing as she felt him grope her inner thigh.

“
It doesn
’
t matter,
”
he panted softly,
“
all that
’
s in the past. From now on
,
you
’
re mine...you understand me? You do as I say. Got it?
”

Kathy said nothing. She couldn
’
t believe this was actually happening. She had feared this day for so long
and
now that it was here, it didn
’t seem real. It was
more like a horrific dream.

“
You hear me, Kath?
”
he asked, roughly shaking her out of her trance.

“
Uh-huh,
”
she muttered nervously.

Without further warning or discussion, Michael positioned himself over Kathy and raped her, purposefully being as rough as possible. Kathy uttered muffled cries of pain and anguish. When he was done, he burst out laughing.

“
You thought you could just kill my baby,
”
he
snickered
,
“
well, we
’
ll do this every day
‘
til you give me a new baby.
”

True to his word, Michael raped Kathy every night for two months straight before his sexual assaults decreased to every other night then a couple of times a week. What Michael did not know was that Kathy had a sub
-
dermal contraceptive implanted within her arm the same day
that
she had the abortion. She knew he could not impregnate her but Michael grew puzzled and suspicious. Was she taking birth control pills? He searched throughout her dresser drawers, the closet, the bathroom, even within the kitchen cabinets, looking for an explanation. He would have been furious to find something, but not finding anything likewise infuriated him. He wanted a baby. He would make sure Kathy became pregnant once and for all.

First he made Kathy drop out of school. Then he made her quit her job at the deli. Slowly he isolated her from her friends and family members. Still, months later, Kathy was not pregnant.

Frustrated, he approached Kathy one night after returning from his job in a supermarket. As he had on numerous o
cca
sions, he accused her taking birth control pills.

“
I
’
m not on the pill,
”
she argued truthfully.

“
Then why aren
’
t you pregnant?
”

“
I don
’
t know,
”
she lied.

“
It
’
s because of that damn abortion,
”
Michael shouted angrily. Thinking about the abortion enraged him. Kathy noticed the transformation and slowly stepped away from him.

“
Where are you going?
”
he yelled.

“
Nowhere...I...I was just going to serve your dinner.
”

“
I don
’
t want dinner, I want a baby!
”

Why is he so obsessed with getting me pregnant,
Kathy wondered nervously.

“
Okay...how
‘
bout a beer?
”

Kathy had been discovering ways she could diffuse his anger. She could usually distract him or stroke his ego somehow. Sometimes, when all else proved unsuccessful, she would resort to sex. That night, the distraction seemed to help.

“
Fine, bring me two,
” Michael had demanded, still i
rate, but losing his violent edge.

Michael
’
s dominion and control over every aspect of Kathy
’
s life increased throughout the months and years until at last she was no more than his obedient puppet. When he proposed to her three years later, she didn
’
t hesitate to accept his offer. It wasn
’
t out of fear, either. To her surprise, she discovered she actually loved him and was content being his sheltered soon-to-be bride. He had temper flare-ups now and again, but for the most part, he was good to her. He
seemed to genuinely love
her.

Kathy and Michael secured a marriage license and were married at the Town Hall within a week. It was far from the wedding Kathy had always dreamed of, but she was satisfied just knowing she would be his wife. She was even ready to take the next step...to finally give Michael the child he had longed for.

Michael believed that Kathy had somehow been rendered sterile by the abortion she had. Now, as his wife, Kathy was ready
—
indeed, eager
—
to get pregnant. A baby would help fill the void in her life. Unable to work, per Michael
’
s command, Kathy
’
s day consisted of waking up, making the bed, brewing a pot of coffee, cooking breakfast for Michael, tidying up the kitchen, vacuuming the family room, washing a load of laundry, watching daytime television for a couple of hours, then running whatever errands needed to be done. The highlight
s
of her days were visiting the library and splurging on baked good
s
from a nearby bakery. A baby would greatly improve the quality of her life.

Yet Kathy discovered that it wouldn
’
t be easy. She was supposed to have her contraceptive implant removed after three years of insertion. Nearly five years later, the rod could not be located within her arm. To her dismay, an ultrasound proved ineffective to locate it. She was going to have an MRI scan but was informed that it would be a waste of time
since so much time had passed. T
he rod would
eventually
lose its hormonal effectiveness. Kathy knew it was her fault; she had begged the doctor to insert it deeply so that she could keep it hidden from Michael. Even after it was first inserted, she could not feel it under her skin. Now she was being punished for her deception.

Long after the sub
-
dermal contraceptive should have been rendered ineffectual, Kathy was distraught to find each month that she was not pregnant. She started to believe, as Michael, that her reproductive system had been damaged when she hastily decided to abort their unborn baby.

Wallowing in self-pity and depression, Kathy gave up her dream of becoming a mother. Seeing the
unpleasant
change
in
her, but not knowing the real reason, Michael allowed her to find a job. He thought she was going stir-crazy at home with nothing to do. He
truly
did care about her
now
. Her income would also allow them to buy a house, live the American dream.

Kathy found a job at the library and slowly accepted her fate. She was once again content with her life the way it was. Seven months later on a
cold
morning in
November
, after throwing up her breakfast, Kathy knew she was given a second chance at motherhood. A visit to the doctor the following day confirmed her belief. She was beside herself with joy.
Nothing could
wipe the smile off her face.

Later that evening when Michael returned home from work, she surprised with a feast of all his favorite foods.

“
What
’
s all this for?
”
he questioned suspiciously.

“
I have the most amazing news,
”
she replied, unable to contain her excitement.

Michael knew instantly. Kathy was beaming. A smile formed on his face before he was even able to fully comprehend the news.

“
Are you...are you pregnant, baby?
”

Kathy nodded as she squealed in delight and flung herself within his strong arms. Michael kissed her passionately.

“
I can
’
t believe it!
”
he exclaimed,
“
all those years we tried, all those....
”

Suspicion veiled his face as he stopped speaking. Kathy knew what was coming. She slowly backed away and turned her attention to the food on the table.

“
It
’
s not mine, is it?
”
he shouted.

“
What?
”
Kathy asked, puzzled. She thought he had realized that she had been on
birth control all those years. S
he didn
’
t think he would question her fidelity.

“
That
’
s why, isn
’
t it?
”
he yelled angrily,
“
you couldn
’
t get pregnant with me so you whored around. Who
’
s the father? Some loser you met at the library?
”

“
No!
”
Kathy protested, scared yet outraged by his accusation.

Should I just tell him about the birth co
ntrol,
she wondered, but decided it would only
add fuel to the fire
.

“
Sweetheart, I love only you,
”
she assured him,
“
this is your baby in me, it
’
s yours....
”

Michael glared furiously at her for several long seconds before his face softened.

“
Really, Kathy?
”
he asked almost shyly.

Kathy nodded, smiling.

“
All yours,
”
she replied,
“
if you have any doubts you can even get a paternity test, but I swear to you, this is your child.
”

Michael believed her, possibly because he had wanted a baby so desperately. He was going to be a father at last.

For the next eight months, Michael treated Kathy like a queen, catering to her every craving, every need. On
July
13, 1997, Hillary Anne Greyson was born. Pink and perfect, Michael had
no need what
soever to seek a paternity test. Hillary was his; she belonged to him.

When Hillary was a year old, Kathy became pregnant again. Michael worked even harder to provide for his growing family. The year after their second child, Caleigh, was born, Michael and Kathy moved to rural Maple Trails, South Carolina.

Hillary seemed to be the perfect child. She was a beautiful, smart, well-behaved, happy girl. Through the years, she continued to grow even more beautiful, smart, confident and happy...until that ill-fated day when happiness would become a distant memory.