His End Game (MMG #1) (17 page)

He wrapped his arms around me and nothing felt better at that moment. “I think it’s time we go to the police,” he said, placing his chin on top of my head. “This is bigger than us and is killing you. It’s time.”

“Are you sure?” I sniffled.

“How about tomorrow after school? Can you go then?”

“Yes, I’m off work tomorrow.”

“Good, meet me at my car and I’ll drive us.”

“Thanks Kurt.”

“I love Joss,” he quietly said, “but she doesn’t understand, not really. I think you are the only one who gets it.”

“I know.” I squeezed him tight and stepped back.

“You come here every night and it makes you feel better?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Would you mind company sometime?”

“No, but if you come here, you need to do it for you and not to take care of me.”

“How about I do it for the both of us?”

We left it at that.

Kurt drove us to the police station the next afternoon where we met with a Detective Mark Copeland and told him everything that had happened since Max had disappeared. He seemed very interested and asked us to give him a few days to look into it. We wrote down all of our contact information and profusely thanked him for his time. For the first time in over a month, I felt hope.

A week later, he called. Kurt and I had been waiting on eggshells all week. I just knew that he had found something because it took him a week to call us back. Imagine my shock when he explained that he had looked into Max’s disappearance and had discovered no foul play. He suggested that we drop it and move on.

Is this some kind of joke
?

“Detective, you do realize that Max and his entire family just vanished into thin air, don’t you?” I tried to sound reasonable.

“I realize that this is what it looks like but things aren’t always as they seem, Miss Davis.”

“So you found him?” I closed my eyes and waited for him to say yes.

“Miss Davis, has it ever occurred to you that Max McLellan might not want to be… found? That maybe he needed a clean break and left?”

“Are you serious?” I angrily asked. “Did you actually speak to Max, Detective? Did he tell you this?”

“I am not at liberty to say, but I highly suggest that you and Mr. Greenfield move on with your lives. The case is closed.”

“What case? From where I’m standing it sounds like you never opened a case,
Detective,”
I snarled.

“Good day Miss Davis,” he said and hung up.

He just hung up on me!

What the hell was I supposed to do? I never imagined that the police wouldn’t help us.

Kurt showed up at Max’s that night and we talked about my infuriating conversation with Detective Copeland. Kurt suggested that maybe they hit a dead end and were covering their asses. I disagreed. I felt like they found something. Either way, it didn’t matter. Max was still missing and we still knew nothing.

Later that night, while lying in his bed, I called his cell phone. I had been doing this more and more lately. I wanted
to hear his voice. I wanted to believe that he was somewhere out there listening to my messages. “Hi there,” I said to his voicemail. “I am lying in your bed right now. Kurt is sleeping in Sarah’s room. We both wanted to be closer to you. We went to the police, Max. Please don’t be mad. We just couldn’t take it anymore. Anyway, it’s not like it did us any good. The Detective told us to give up. He all but said that you chose to leave. I don’t believe him. I don’t believe for one second that you would walk away from me or your friendship with Kurt and Benny. I can’t.”

“The Detective was wrong,” Kurt said, standing in the door way.

“You didn’t hear him, Kurt. It was like he knew something that we didn’t.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but either something bad happened to Max and Sarah or they were forced to leave. I will never believe that he would leave for any other reason and you shouldn’t either,” he responded.

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” I sighed.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the iPod.

“It’s Max’s iPod from his truck.”

“I forgot about that,” he smiled with sadness in his eyes. “He carried it with him everywhere.”

I know and there is no way he would have voluntarily left it behind
.

Of course, I didn’t dare say this out loud. “Can I ask a favor?”

“Shoot.”

“Would you lay here with me? Joss will understand and so would Max. I don’t want to be alone, not tonight.”

“He loved you, Ellie. I’ve known him for a long time and have never seen him act this way about anyone.” He crawled into bed beside me.

“Thanks,” I said, bumping him with my shoulder. “Do you want to listen?” I held up Max’s iPod.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“No, it will be nice to listen with a friend who understands.” Wrapping my arms around him, I settled down into his warmth. “Ready?”

“Go for it.”

I pushed play on the iPod dock and we lay there in Max’s bed, listened to his music and knew that this was all that we had left of him. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t fall asleep crying.

By mid-November I was hanging on by a thread. I was practically failing my senior year and honestly I didn’t really care. I was angry at the world and out of control. The only thing holding me together was that I would be ending my day in Max’s bed. My aunt knew where I was spending my nights and kept her mouth shut even though she did not agree. She was a wise woman.

I knew that I would eventually have to let Max go but I wanted to take that step on my own terms. So you can imagine my shock when I showed up at his house one night and found a for sale sign in the front yard and a lock box on the door.

No
.

I immediately called Kurt who rushed over with Harry.

“What the fuck is this?” Kurt asked, pointing to the lock box.

“It looks to me like someone’s selling the house,” declared Harry while bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

“No shit numb nuts, but why?” asked Kurt, “and why now?”

“Uhhhhh, is that question rhetorical?”

“Who do you think is making the decision to sell?” I asked. “Could it be Malcolm or even Max?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt shrugged.

“Guys, I hate to break up your hopeful moment but a bank is making the decision. The information sheet says that interested parties should call the bank’s work out department. That means this house was foreclosed.” Harry stated.

“So the bank just
took
the house?” I asked.

“I bet no one has made payments since they left,” Kurt said.

“At least now we know how long we can go without making payments on our houses before someone actually does something about it,” said Harry.

“Shut up Harry,” I all but yelled.

Both he and Kurt jumped in surprise.

“They are going to take all of Max’s things away.” I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I wasn’t ready. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

“I know, El. Let’s get in there, grab what we want and get out. We don’t know how long we have.”

So we went in to Max’s house for the last time. I grabbed his pillow, comforter, three t-shirts and two flannels that I knew he loved. Kurt also grabbed a bunch of things, including the iPod dock. Harry stood watch on the porch in case someone showed up.

Walking away from Max’s house that night was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I think Kurt felt the same way. After loading my car, we stood in the front yard for half an hour staring at the house. Neither of us wanted to go. Finally, we said goodbye and I watched Kurt and Harry drive away.

Wiping my eyes, I looked over my shoulder at what had held the most precious memories of my life and whispered into the night,

“Bye Max.”

~Five Years Later

“I will be at your house tomorrow morning at nine sharp for the reading of the will. Don’t worry Miss Davis, it will be very straight forward. There are no surprises,” he assured.

“Thank you, Mr. Harrison. I will see you here tomorrow morning at nine.”

Everything was happening so fast. The service was only two days ago and my aunt’s lawyer was already calling. I snagged my cell phone from the side table and shot both Piper and Joss a quick text to be here tomorrow morning at nine.

Moral support
.

Piper was supposed to go back to Texas in a few days and I didn’t want her to go. A part of me was afraid that I would never see her again. I knew that would never happen but emotionally I was all over the place. Everything was so… uncertain.

Tonight was my first night alone in the house as Piper was spending the night with a college friend and Joss was at home with Kurt. It seemed so quiet without my aunt here. Normally she would be banging around in the house with the TV blaring Bravo or the Food Network.

As I stood in the foyer, my mind wandered upstairs to the guest closet and a conversation I had with my aunt while I was home for Christmas my sophomore year.

“Are you ever going to stop sleeping with his things?” she asked
.

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

“He’s been gone for almost three years now, Ellison. Don’t you think it’s time you moved on?”

“I know. I have, mostly, it’s just really hard.”

My aunt and I had grown closer since Max’s disappearance. It’s like him leaving woke her up. Who knows, maybe she was afraid I would leave too.

“Honey, it’s okay to have a special place inside of you reserved just for Max but this shrine to him that you still carry around with you worries me. It’s time to stand on your own two feet. He is gone and you are still here. You have to start living again. Just think about it and know that I am here.”

An empty box was sitting at the foot of my bed when I woke up the next morning. This was Aunt Elizabeth’s subtle reminder
.

I remember how sick I felt all that day. I knew what I had to do, but it was gut wrenching
.

Finally, before going to sleep, I folded Max’s comforter and carefully placed it down into the bottom of the box. I had been sleeping with it for so long now, that I wasn’t sure I could give it up. Next went his pillow. Before placing it on top of the comforter, I held it to my face and breathed it in, as if I could still smell him on it. God, I missed his scent. I felt a tear as it cut a path down my cheek…so much for not crying. I placed his folded t-shirts on top of the pillow and felt like I was losing him all over again. Last was the picture of us. This was by far the hardest to say goodbye to. I reverently ran my fingers over our faces, burning the image of us into my memory. As if I could ever forget
.

“I will love you forever, Max.” I carefully closed the box and carried it to the out of season closet in the guest room
.

Here I was over two years later in an empty house. I sighed in relief when I found that the box was still sitting where I left it that day. After dragging it across the hall to my bedroom, I opened it up and emptied it bit by bit onto my bed.

That night I lay in bed with my head on Max’s pillow while wearing his t-shirt and wrapped in his comforter. I sat the picture of us on my night stand where I could see it. I thought back
to that same Christmas break and the last time I had visited the quarry.

Grabbing a blanket, iPod and water, I walked from my car down the same path that I had taken with Max the summer before he disappeared
.

Are you out there Max? If so, are you thinking about me
?

Do you come here when I’m not around? I wish I could let you go. I wish I could just forget. I know my life would be easier, happier. But, I can’t. You are with me every second of every day. I can’t get you out of my head or my heart, no matter how hard I try. How long is enough Max? Are you even alive? If not, are you watching over me, like my guardian angel? I stared for a long time up at the sky
.

Until that day at the quarry, I hadn’t given voice to the possibility that Max could be dead. I had initially thought it, when he first disappeared, but wasn’t willing to admit it. That day at the quarry, I finally allowed my thoughts to go there and in doing so, the doubt that Max was alive rooted deep inside me. I just couldn’t imagine anything taking him from me anymore, except for death.

Turning my iPod to repeat I allowed Bono to drown out my memories.

When I woke up the next morning, I packed it all up and back into the closet it went.