His Favorite Mistake (Baby Its Cold Out) (20 page)

             
Brody looked up as she entered the room his eyes capturing hers. Her heart slammed against her chest as she held her breath.

"Reyna, I’m glad you’re awake. I've been waiting for you. There's something that I need to tell you, love.” He came close to her reaching for her hand. "Come sit down by the fire, you're freezing."

              Reyna ignored his hand, ignored the soothing way he spoke to her. "What is it Brody? Is something wrong? Are you going into the office before we leave? Please, tell me what's wrong?"

             
He took her hand. It was freezing so he led her to the fire. "Sit down Reyna this is hard enough to say.” He watched as her legs seemed to give way beneath her and she sank quickly down her eyes reaching up to his pleading. He ran a rough hand through his thick black hair trying to calm his voice. "Reyna I'm going to London without you. I have to do it this. The account is far too important to the firm and in jeopardy right now to take you with me. You would only be a distraction for me at this point. Please try to understand that. I'm sorry, I know how much you were looking forward to going but it has to be this way love, there's no other choice. I promise I'll be back before Christmas Eve."

             
"Brody, no. No, don't do this, not like this. Please don't do this. I'm, I'm afraid…”

             
"Reyna…" She heard the pain in his voice as he said her name. "There's nothing to be frightened of. It has to be this way love, that's all. There's nothing to be afraid of, I promise you. I'll be back before you know it and then there are some things that we have to talk about. Things that need to be said between us.” He looked at her and wanted to take her in his arms. She was crying and her tears tore at his heart far more than anything else in the world but he knew that he couldn't give in to her. 

             
"Brody, please. Please don't do this. Please I'll be so lost here without you. I don't want you to leave me here. Please don't do this like this."

             
He knew that if he stayed a moment longer he would give in to her. He pulled her to her feet and forced her with him into the entryway. His suitcases and coat where there waiting. He had to leave her now before it was too late and he changed his mind before he told her everything. "It will be okay, love. Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it. I'm going into the office for a while and then I'll leave for the airport from there.” He reached for her again and brought into his arms before kissing her. "I'll be back before you know it love, please don't worry. I'll call you when we land in London okay?"

             
He looked at her at the tears falling down her face and left the house hating himself. Hating that the sight of her tears would be the last thing he would remember about her until he returned. Her tears broke him.

             
He tried to put out of his mind her sorrowful image as he reached his office resisting the urge to pick up the phone for one moment and then he was dialing her number, desperate to hear her voice more frightened than ever before as the answering machine picked up. He stood and paced the office floor nervously debating with himself angrily before picking up the phone once more and calling Parker Martin.

             
Reyna listened as the door closed quietly behind him and then slowly her legs deserted her once more and she collapsed there onto the entryway unable to stop the sobs that tore at her body. He was gone. That was it. It hadn't been anything like she expected but it hurt every bit as much as she knew it would. Reyna cried for what seemed hours. When there were, no more tears left inside of her she stood and walked into the bedroom that she had just left reaching for his pillow. She held it against her tightly and his scent clung to it bringing new tears to her eyes. She had expected this moment for days, imagined what it must feel like but nothing had prepared her for the reality of being over.

             
They were over and she didn't know how to move on, where to go who to turn to for comfort when the only person she ever really reached for was gone. She wiped away her tears wondering in amazement how she had anything left inside of her she felt so empty, drained. Her glance fell to the corner where her suitcases sat packed ready for London and she knew then what she must do. It was time to leave for good, made a clean break. Wasn't that what he intended by leaving her here alone after all he had said that they that things to discuss when he returned. She had to leave now because she wasn't sure that she could bear to hear the words from him that it was over.              

             
Reyna quickly picked up the phone before she lost her nerve and called her cousin hearing Jenna's voice as she recognized Reyna and then hearing surprise being replaced by concern the words came tumbling out of her in a rush before she could stop herself she was telling Jenna everything. Things that she hadn't realized about her feelings things that she had never intended another person to know.

             
She had surprised her she could tell but Jenna hadn't hesitated for a moment when Reyna had asked her if she could use the house she still kept In Stamford that had belonged to her mothers. Jenna had talked about renting it out at one point but to date she hadn't found the right tenant.

             
"Reyna of course you can use it, it’s just standing there vacant anyway, but are you sure? You've been so happy lately there with Brody that I thought that you and he, well, it doesn't matter. Look, there's something that I need to tell you about what I said to you the other day about Brody and I…”

             
Reyna closed her eyes in pain. She didn't want to talk about Brody with her cousin. "Jenna it doesn't matter anymore and I really don't want to hear it. Look, I can't thank you enough for letting me use the house. I'll give you a call later in the week and we'll talk, okay? It’s just that I can't, not now.” She stopped speaking her voice catching over the new tears that fell so easily.              

             
Half an hour later with everything she was taking with her sitting next to the door there was only one more thing left to do. Inside his office, she sat down in his chair and wrote a note for him trying to put in simple words how much she appreciated him and then she left it lying on his desk. Once she had left, she would call the house and leave a voice message in case he called from London and became worried. She knew that he would check the answering machine. For now, she had to put as much distance between herself and the place where they had spent so many days and nights together before she could force herself to call his machine without falling apart.

             
Reyna hauled her bags down to the waiting taxi. Jenna's house was in Aurora, Colorado was a little over an hour's drive from Denver on the best of traffic days and she closed her eyes against the painful memory of her last time with Brody. She couldn't cry in front of a stranger she wouldn't allow herself to do that she had to be strong now.

             
Reyna paid the taxi driver who had helped her carry her bags up the two flights of stairs to the house before leaving her with a curiously pitying look in his eyes.

             
She opened the door looking around her at the expensively furnished living room that her aunt Delores had lived in. It was a beautiful house, one that she would have been thrilled to be staying in at any other time. Now under the circumstances now she could feel nothing but misery. She dropped her suitcases in the master bedroom not bothering to unpack. She felt as dark and dismal as the sky outside and just as tempestuous.                             

             
Reyna adjusted the thermostat up as far as it would go before turning on the gas fireplace rubbing her hands over her arms trying to control the shaking that seem to come from deep within her but nothing not even the heavy jacket that she wore seemed to warm her.

             
She walked aimlessly throughout each room of the house without seeing anything at all. She was bracing herself to find the strength to make the call to him she was dreading. She glanced at the clock on the wall and knew that by now he would be at the airport waiting the boarding call. Reyna picked up the phone and out words. She made it through most of the call without betraying her splintered emotions but her voice broke away painfully when she told him good-bye. Putting it to words hurt so bad but hearing herself say the word good-bye only drove the pain home with all the finality that the word itself represented.

             
She sank down onto the floor in front of the fireplace at last letting go, losing control that she had held onto for the past hour after leaving his home for good and wept as if her world was ending. Surely it had for from this moment on nothing would ever feel the same again. 

Chapter Nineteen

Brody tried the house number once more praying that Reyna would pick up when the answering machine clicked on he turned to his friend and colleague Parker Martin and shook his head. "I've got to go Parker something's wrong. Something's wrong I can feel it. You've got everything you need from me before I leave?"

              Parker shook his head and glanced toward the door. "Go, you're no good to us the way you are Brody you'll only hinder the negotiations. Don't worry, with Teddy's help we will do fine. You know Teddy's the best negotiator around. I'm glad you came to your senses and called him back to the team. Go. What are you waiting for? I've got your files and all the charts there's nothing else for you to do but go after her."

             
Brody smiled back at his colleague hoping that it was going to be that simple but doubting it completely. "Thank you for doing this for me Parker. I trust you to do whatever is best for the account. If we lose it, so be it. I have only myself to blame but at this point I really don't care.” He released a long shuddering breath and ran an unsteady hand through his hair. "I’ll be unreachable except through my cell phone and if you need to you can always leave a message. I'll check the machine periodically as well. Have a safe trip Parker. I'll see you when you return."

             
As he maneuvered the Land Cruiser through Sunday, traffic that for some reason seemed unbearable congested, he prayed that he was not too late. That she was there waiting for him but when he reached the door and opened it he stopped in the entryway frozen where he stood staring down the hallway dreading every step of the walk to their room knowing she was gone. When he opened the door, the scent of her filled his mind. The perfume that she wore clung faintly to the air around him and he breathed deep trying to capture its sweet smell hoping to hold onto just a small part of her with the fragrance. He didn't need to open the closet or look into the dresser to know the truth. She was gone. Gone the word sounded so final. Dear God she was gone and he didn't know what to do to bring her back.

             
Tears stung his eyes. She was gone. He sank weakly down onto the bed and buried his face in his hands and the first time in years he sobbed. The most important thing in life was gone and he didn't think he could make it through another second of life without her. The hurt was unbearable, unbelievably terrifying as it was over.

             
It was over but how could it be over when he still loved her? The answer echoed bitterly through his mind reaching his shattered heart. It was over because he had been afraid to tell her that she was everything to him the most important thing in the world that's why. She didn't know how much he loved her or just how desperately he needed her and if he were to survive he had to find her and tell her just how important she was to him. He had to tell her with the words what he had showed her with his body so many times before.

             
He stood unable to bear another moment in the room were the image of loving her was there everywhere. He had to get away from that image of the many times that they had made love in that very bed he needed somewhere less vivid to think to try to bring his fractured thoughts to order.

             
He had to push aside this aching pain that was almost numbing growing with each moment he knew she was gone out there alone somewhere he had to bring his thoughts into focus enough to find her and bring her back to him.

             
In his office, he saw the white piece of paper lying on his desk and knew it was from her. She had left him a note telling him she was leaving him. He wanted to laugh as he read it for the third time. It told him nothing. Nothing except her polite words of thanks. She was thanking him for all that he had done for her. He tore the paper in bites and tossed it into the fire feeling hopelessness again seep inside his heart as a terrifying thought crossed his fevered mind. Maybe she didn't want to be found. Maybe she was indeed truly gone. Maybe it was over.

             
He saw the answering machine message light blinking and he switched it on listening to her speak the words of good-bye to him. Listened to the emotionless way in which she said the words and his heart shattered once more at the sound of them. And then he heard the way her voice caught she couldn't quiet say the words of good-bye without crying as he replayed it again and again smiling faintly he knew that he had her. Good-bye was the last thing on earth that Reyna wanted from him.