His Favorite Mistake (Baby Its Cold Out) (21 page)

             
He had been right about her she did care.             

             
Brody knew that she would never even think of using either his apartment at work or the house in Aspen to leave him. She was making a clean break. There was only one other person left who she could possibly go to for help as he picked up the phone and called her cousin's number he prayed that Jenna would not feel any family loyalty to her younger cousin that until this moment she had never shown. He had to get the truth from her and he was prepared to do whatever it took to find Reyna.

             
In the end, it hadn't been very difficult. Jenna told him everything from the call from she had earlier from Reyna to the house where she was staying and finally to the lie that she had led Reyna to believe that was surly part of the wall standing between them now. He hadn't really been surprised by it although he wasn't sure which of them he wanted to strangle the most. Jenna for making up such an elaborate story or Reyna for actually believing him capable of doing such a thing. At this point, he didn't care. His only concern was for Reyna and finding her.

             
He knew she had a two-hour advantage on him as he hurriedly wrote the directions Jenna gave him down and he feared that once he got there she might not be willing to let him in. Jenna told him that there was a spare key hidden to the house close by that was used in case her mother accidentally locked herself out of the house and he thanked her briefly before hanging up the phone.     

             
The drive to Aurora through Denver's returning Sunday afternoon traffic was slow and tedious taking more than two more long frustrating hours before he at last parked the car and went in search of the spare key. The sun had all but disappeared from the sky turning the world around him to dusk.

             
Brody braced himself for what he knew would be a battle. She wasn't going to give up her secrets willingly but he wasn't leaving without her and certainly not without knowing exactly what it was that she had been keeping from him for so long now.

             
As he unlocked the door, the first thing to hit him was the warmth of the house. He could feel the heat from the thermostat as he walked in. There were no lights on at all, as he closed the door behind him. The only light at all was from the fireplace burning in the living room. He let his eyes become accustom to the dimness around him before looking around the room for her.

             
As he moved slowly from the entryway to the living room he saw her small figure curled up almost defensively in front of the fire and he walked slowly over to her but she didn't move, she hadn't heard him enter the house at all. He crouched down next to her and saw the traces of her tears still clinging to her face. It pulled at his heart.

             
Slowly, she opened her eyes and sat up. "Brody? What are you doing here?” She went e into his arms and he held her tight knowing that she still hadn't grasped what was happening, but her reaction to him spoke volumes about what her true feelings were. "Brody, oh dear God I missed you. I've been so lost without you.” She was crying again and he spoke to her gently whispering soft words of comfort to her waiting for the reality of the situation to sink in. It didn't take long. She pulled out of his arms and reluctantly he let her go. She stumbled to her feet quickly backing away from him and he stood with her following her step by jerky step. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in London. You're supposed to be on the plane for London. I don't understand. What are you doing here?"

             
He reached for her but she moved further away.

"Reyna, please."

              She ignored his. "Please don’t touch me. Please I can't think clearly, when you touch me. I'm okay, but please don't touch me."

             
He resisted the urge to once more take her by her arms and shake some sense into her. Everything she was betraying to him now was making a lie out of her words. "Like hell you are Reyna, you're anything but okay. Let me hold you love. Please don't cry baby you'll make yourself sick if you continue like this. Please don't cry.” He extinguished his anger with difficulty trying to control the shudders of fear that kept reminding him just how important everything he said to her was, reminding him of all that he had to lose. "We have to talk Reyna. Surely, you see that we have to talk. Things can't go on like this anymore, love. Too many things have been left unsaid. Surly you see that we have to straighten this out.” He took a deep breath trying to gather his scattered thoughts before beginning again. "I couldn't go to London and leave you here alone not the way things were. I couldn't bear the thought of being away from you knowing that things were the way they were. I couldn't bear remembering how sad you looked when I left you. We have to talk Reyna and I'm not leaving here until we do. I want to know why you left me like that Reyna. Why? "

             
He watched her closely not missing the way her eyes unknowingly appealed to him but he couldn't give in to her just yet. "No, Brody. I can't talk about it. Please I can't do this now because I, I just can't talk about it. I can't. I explained it all in the note that I left you at the house.”

             
He stepped closer to her wincing at the way she backed away from as if she were frightened by his closeness. She didn't have far to run before she hit the living room wall and there was nowhere else for her to run to. "Oh, I read the note. I listened to your message as well and they told me nothing. Nothing but pretty words.”  

             
"Do you honestly think for a moment it’s your gratitude that I want? After everything that has happened between us, “He broke off taking a deep steadying breath. “ Your, gratitude is the very last thing on earth that I want from you Reyna, the very last. I want the truth. I need you to tell me the truth about what's been hurting you for so long now. I have to know. The time for secrets is over between us, I want the truth and I'm not going anywhere until I have it however long it takes I'm not going anywhere and neither are you."

             
"You'll hate me Brody. If I tell you the truth you'll hate me.” She looked at him unaware that there was so much imploring there in her eyes that it broke his heart. How did she dare tell him what he wanted to know how could she trust him not to despise her when he knew the ugly truth?

             
He observed her face seeing the pain and frustration in every fleeting emotions that passed there and spoke to her with tender exasperation. "Reyna, I would never ever hate you not matter what you said to me surely you know that by now? Tell me what it is baby, please. Just tell me the truth.” Still he sensed her hesitation she was so close to revealing the truth but she needed that final painful push from him. "Reyna just tell me. I know that it has something to do with Cade, I've guessed as much. Is it guilt, love? Do you feel guilty over being with me? Cade's dead and no matter how much he loved you or how much you loved him. He wouldn't want you to remain alone. Cade's dead love you're not."

             
She couldn't stop the bitterness from being reflected in her laughter when finally at last the truth was ripped from her. "You're wrong Brody. You’re so wrong. Cade didn't love me. He never loved me. He despised me, hated me, loathed me but him never, and ever loved me.” The words that she had held secret for so long now slipped over each other in a rush. She regretted the moment they were out, wishing that she could bring them back. It was much too late for that. She looked at him watched his expression change from pity to anger in a split second before he reached for her bringing her up hard against his taunt body.

             
"What are you talking about, of course he loved you. He married you didn't he. Why else would he marry you if not love? Maybe he had an odd way of showing it I admit Cade was reckless but…”

             
She couldn't look at him, her voice a toneless whisper when she spoke again. "No, Brody, it’s true, he hated me. There was no doubt about it I know he hated me because he told me so.” She stopped. His fingers tightened around her upper arms and she knew that she had shocked him by her admission. "He told me he hated me on our wedding night right before he told me that the only reason he had married me was because he knew that by doing so he would humiliate his father. I'm not sure which of us he despised the most his father or me. You see I was the only way he could truly show his father just how much he detested him. Cade knew that in Harvey's eyes I would be the worst possible choice of women for his son to marry. I had nothing, no family pedigree, no money, no aristocratic upbringing, nothing. I was an embarrassment to the James name and that was the only reason Cade married me. It's true. I meant nothing to Cade.” She laughed at the doubt she saw in Brody's eyes. "It’s true, Brody, he never touched me at all on our wedding night or any other night and he left me on our wedding night to be with his friends and to be with another woman this he told me in precise detail.” She shook her head looking away from the shocked sympathy in his eyes. "I was nothing but an embarrassing way for him to humiliate his father. I knew that he had affairs while we were married that there were other women but after that night it didn't matter because I didn't care.” She saw disbelief cross his face realizing that he still didn't believe what she was telling him and she laughed once more bitterly. "It’s true Brody, trust me, it’s true. Cade made it crystal clear to me in so many terrifying ways each and every day of our marriage that there was no doubt about it at all.” Reyna spoke the words without emotion now forcing her eyes up bravely to his waiting for the final blow to fall, waiting for his total rejection.

             
He let her go and moved away. 

"Why Reyna? Why didn't you tell me Reyna? Why didn't you trust me enough to tell me any of this from the beginning? I could have helped you. I would have done, anything, everything for you.” He stopped turning away from her shaking his head and it was then that she knew that she had lost him. Reyna wanted to run from him once more to put, as much distance between herself and the rejection she was sure to find there in his blue eyes.

              “How could I possibly have told you? You were his friend, he trusted you how could I tell you the truth?” She wiped away a straying tear her voice dead of emotion turning her back on him. She didn't want him to see just how much his rejection was devastation her. "I'm sorry Brody, I have no right to burden you with all of this after all what does any of it matter now, Cade's dead. I want you to know that you owe me nothing. Whatever obligation you felt for me because of Cade is finished. It's over, you owe me nothing.” She walked over to the door opening it trying desperately to hold tightly to her control. She couldn't fall apart in front of him now she owed him that much. "It's okay to go now Brody, its okay you don't owe me anything at all. I don't expect you to stay I never expected you to be with me forever that is far too much to ever hope for. "

             
She had said it without breaking down and begging him not to leave her. She had freed him of his misguided loyalty to her and as she waited for him to leave her, she prayed that the end would be soon.    

             
He walked past her and slammed the door behind her hard enough to shake the walls. Then he pulled her close.

"Obligation? Is that what you think I feel for you?” His hand went up to thread through her hair, forcing her face up to him. He kissed her with so much angry need so much frustration that he left her breathless, drowning in the emotion. She leaned against his heated body for support his dark blue eyes cloudy with desire. His fingers ran over her ribcage and touched her breast possessively. She closed her eyes against the slow smile that touched his face, the look of triumph in his darkening blue eyes as his fingers glided slowly down to her hips and he pulled her closer.

He whispered against her ear. "Obligation be damned. Obligation is the last thing on earth that I want from you."

             
He released her very slowly then as if trying to regain some control over his emotions by putting distance between their heated bodies. He ran an agitated hand through his dark hair as he watched the fire that blazed in the fireplace taking a deep steadying breath before turning back to her. "You still love him? How can you love someone so much that treated you as Cade did? How can you possibly love him? He doesn't deserve your love."

             
Reyna watched him then hesitating wondering what he would think of her when he knew the truth, all the sordid details of her marriage to Cade. She sank slowly down on the sofa, pulling her knees against her chest and wrapping her arms around them unaware of how much like a little girl she looked at that moment to him how watching her this way melted him heart.

             
"I met Cade just a little while after my grandmother passed away. She was so important to me such a major part of my life for so long that I was lost without her and so alone. The only other family member that I had left was Jenna and we've never been close so when I ran into Cade by accident or so it seemed outside of the university library one day well, I thought it was fate. You see I knew how much in love my parents were, I remembered and Grand had filled my head with their love stories for years.” She glanced up at him her eyes pleading for his understanding. "I thought I was in love with Cade, I thought it was love at first sight and that we would live happily ever after. I thought I could have that fairy tale as well but it didn't work out like that at all.”