His Mistress (27 page)

“
Ask
, Tobias.”

Steel layered the soft command, and his body cried out for relief from the pleasure that was now bordering on the fine edge of pain it was so intense. He shook his head as he fought back the urge to do as she ordered. Her pleasure was what mattered, not his. He didn’t deserve her care, any more than he deserved relief from his guilt. The pressure she applied to the spot beneath his balls argued differently. It urged him to beg for her mouth on his cock. His body jerked as he felt the beginnings of an orgasm.

“I can’t my Lady, I’m not worthy of your attention,” he choked out in a raw voice.

“You think yourself underserving of my attention?”

There was a gentle note in her voice that pulled him toward the abyss he wasn’t certain he could resist much longer. An image of Jane crashed through his brain, but it was a fleeting one as he struggled to maintain his focus and not tumble off the cliff
Mystère
was leading him toward.

“I am here to give you pleasure, my lady. My needs are unimportant.” It was the harsh breath of a man fighting a lost cause, and he knew it.

“But your needs are my needs,” she whispered with a tenderness that scraped across his heart. It was no longer
Mystère’s
voice he heard but Jane’s. “Here,
with me
, you can let go of your demons and know you will be cared for and your wounds washed clean.”

“I have no demons to slay,” he snarled. Silence filled the space between them for a long moment before her hand caressed his thigh.

“What would you do if someone tried to hurt me, Tobias?”

“I would find them, and I would tear them apart, limb from limb.” There was no hesitation in his reply and the flat, deadly note in his voice, emphasized how brutal his retribution would be.

“And is that what you did as a boy? Did you save someone from your father?”

The load roar of an unknown beast filled Tobias’ ears, and he experienced pity for the tormented creature. He knew all too well that the animal was completely ensnared in the hunter’s net. Another savage cry of desperation rent the air until he wanted to shut the sound out. But he couldn’t because the wild howls of pain were coming from him.

Overhead, he could feel his hands clawing at the ropes holding him place. It was a futile effort to remove the cuffs. Images from the past flooded his senses, as he blindly tried to find a way to free himself. A voice called to him, but he ignored it and threw himself forward to latch onto his father’s leg to sink his teeth in his sire’s calf. Retribution was swift and vicious.

One moment Tobias was clinging to his father’s leg, and the next he was flying across the floor like a rag doll. Stunned, he lay still for a moment until the fierce sting of a leather strap cut through his shirt and into his back. He tried to scramble out of reach, but his father’s heavy booted foot pushed down on his shoulder to hold him in place.

From where he lay, he could see his mother curled up in a ball, her eyes glazed with pain as she met his gaze. The hopeless expression on her face frightened him. They would both die today. He stretched out his hand in her direction and in a whisper called out to her. She moved her lips but no words came out. As the lash hit his back with ever increasing fury, Tobias watched the life begin to fade from his mother’s eyes.

“Think you can fucking beat me, boy? That day won’t happen. You’re nothing more than a sniveling little brat. You’ll never be a man, boy. I’ll see to that.”

The sight of his mother slowly dying in front of him filled Tobias with horror. This was his father’s sin. A crime that deserved punishment. The cruel, brutish note in his father’s voice continued to echo in his ears as a wave of fury crashed through Tobias. With a howl of rage, he rolled free of his father’s foothold and launched himself at his sire once more.

“Tobias.” Soft and soothing his name echoed in his ear. “Tobias, it’s all right.”

Slowly, the past faded, and he became aware of his surroundings. He was on his knees, head bent. The leather cuffs no longer restrained his hands, and the gentle caress of
Mystère’s
hand was achingly comforting. The icy finger of foreboding swept through him. Christ Jesus, what had he said? He’d been so deep in the past he couldn’t remember anything from the last few minutes.

With a low growl of fear, he roughly pushed her away from him and staggered to his feet. He swayed slightly then stumbled backward to put distance between them. The hard curvature of the bedpost pressed into his back. The memory of his father’s lashes was still vivid, and he flinched as his scars reacted almost painfully to the wood post.

Weak at the knees, he lurched around the corner of the bed and sank down onto the mattress. Head in his hands, he tried to remember if he’d said something incriminating. Tobias shuddered at the memory of the black iron in his hand and the rage that had made an eight-year-old boy tremble like a leaf in the wind.

“Tobias.” Soft hands captured his and stroked them. With gentle strokes, she brushed across the scraped skin of his wrists and bent her head to kiss his palm. “Forgive me.”

The remorse in her voice snagged at him and reached down into the depths of his soul. She wasn’t the guilty party. He was. He was the murderer, not her. He dragged in a deep, ragged breath and shook his head.

“You are not to blame.”

“Yes, I pushed you too hard,” she whispered with regret.

“No, I simply lost control of my senses,” he snarled as he tugged his hands out of her grasp.

“Oh, Tobias.” The soft sigh brushed across his finely honed senses like a silken scarf. “Please don’t torture yourself any longer. You were a child.”

“A child who in a fit of blind rage murdered his own father.”

The cold, lifeless note in his statement reflected the darkness he’d kept hidden for so long. The sudden stillness in her took him by surprise. It was a tangible sensation. She didn’t make a sound. She simply became motionless as if startled by a predator. Tobias lifted his gaze and met her horrified one. Silence, threatening and deadly, stretched between them.

All too quickly, he realized he’d not confessed his darkest sin while blindly battling his demons. Instead, he’d blundered mere seconds ago and reveal everything. Her fingers suddenly dug into his thighs as she leaned forward to press her brow against his. The edge of her mask was a gentle scrape against the bridge of his nose. It was a fleeting reminder that she’d hidden herself from him and had yet to trust him with the secret of who she was.

“You. Are.
Not
. To blame.” Like a lioness,
Mystère’s
words were fierce and filled with vehemence. “You defended yourself and your mother. No one could fault you for that.”

“I allowed them to think she killed him.”

“It’s what she would have wanted you to do,” she said with firm conviction. “If I had been her, I would have wanted you to live free of guilt for doing what was necessary.”

The confidence in her voice was like a salve on the open wounds of his soul. It didn’t take the pain or the horror away, but it softened the roar of agony thundering its way along every vein in his body.

“Lie down,” she ordered quietly.

Tobias didn’t think, he simply did as she commanded. He was too tired to challenge her at the moment. Eyes closed, he heard her move away from him. A moment later she returned and pressed a cool, damp cloth against his brow. She pulled the rag away from him, and he heard the sound of water swishing in a bowl. Droplets rained back into the bowl as she wrung out the cloth then patted it against his brow and face again. As she continued her tender ministrations, he shuddered.

An icy chill settled over his skin, and his tremor was followed by another and then another. In the distance, he heard her make a quiet sound of concern before he curled up in a ball and tried to warm himself. A sheet fluttered over him, and somewhere in his hazed state, he heard other rustling sounds as well.

Warmth engulfed him as her body pressed into his back, and her bare skin connected with his. His initial reaction was to jerk away from her, but he was too exhausted to move. Although he continued to tremble, her heat seeped its way into him and lessened the tremors wracking his body. Her body curled and molded itself to his, and despite the danger she posed, Tobias took comfort from her closeness and her heat.

§  §  §

Tobias opened his eyes and fought his way out of a deep sleep. The room slowly came into focus. Disoriented, he surveyed his surroundings for a brief moment as he tried to remember where he was.
La Maison des Plaisirs Sombres
. He was still at the club. A soft, warm body was tightly knitted against his backside, and he drew in a sharp breath. He remained motionless as he stared at the candle on the small table adjacent to the bed. From the height of the taper, he’d been asleep for at least two, maybe three hours.

Tobias swallowed hard as the memories crested like a wave in his head. The moments after he’d lost control were little more than hazy snippets. Less foggy was his bedside confession as he’d sat on the edge of the bed trying to steady himself and regain his senses. In those few seconds, he’d revealed his darkest secret.

The vivid images of his past tried to push their way to the surface, but he crushed them. He had no need or desire to relive the past. There was nothing he could do to change it or himself. The weight of the sin he carried on his shoulders could never be lifted. His efforts to keep his mother safe from harm had been for nothing. She’d died in his arms moments after he’d slain his father.

The memory of
Mystère’s
voice pulling him out of the past into his present reality filled his head. With the inherent skill only a truly exceptional Lady commanded, she’d ripped away the barriers shielding him from the horrors of the past. She’d exposed his soul, and he’d lost a protective layer he wasn’t sure he could replace. A soft arm wrapped itself around his waist, and he stiffened. She immediately laid her hand over his heart.

“Can you forgive me?” The soft whisper near his ear made his mouth go dry. Jane’s voice. He immediately rejected the thought.

“You did nothing wrong. So there is nothing to forgive,” he said in a tight voice. “We’ll not discuss it any further.”

The black silk of her mask caressed his back, and his doubts rushed at him. If Jane really was
Mystère
, what reason could she possibly have for not revealing herself to him? He could think of nothing. It left him with only one of two possibilities. Either Jane and
Mystère
were two different women or Jane had lied to him.

A voice in the back of his head encouraged him to tug the mask off her face. He dismissed the thought. It would be a breach of the house rules. A member’s identity remained sacrosanct. He of all people could appreciate that. The simplest thing to do was simply ask her for the truth. Her hand moved to curl around his shoulder and a soft kiss burned his back.

He wanted nothing more at the moment than to roll over and take possession of her body. The thought of sliding into her and submitting himself to her commands on how to pleasure her knotted his muscles with desire. If it allowed him to elude the past for even a few brief moments it would give him the strength to walk away from her. And he
would
walk away.

It didn’t matter whether she was
Mystère
or Jane. One woman had exposed the darkest part of his soul, and the other had offered him the possibility of home and companionship. Both possibilities left him vulnerable, and vulnerability was the one thing he couldn’t afford.

Her hand moved again and caressed his skin in a seductive stroke until her fingertips brushed against the crevice where his hip met his thigh. Instantly, he was hard and erect. Tobias quickly rolled onto his back and put a wide space between them in the bed. Her mask slightly askew, she quickly set it to rights, but not before he caught a glimpse of her profile.

Jane.

A surge of anger spread through his limbs. Jane had deliberately hid her identity from him despite knowing who he was. She’d lied. She’d demanded his surrender—his trust. But she’d refused to confide in him in return. Her silence demonstrated her distrust of him. Another wave of anger washed over him as he remembered how she’d convinced him to bare his soul to her. The thought was followed by the memory of how tenderly she’d cared for him afterward. The fear and concern in her voice had been genuine. Tobias was certain of that.

He closed his eyes. The sooner he confronted her, the better. While his anger was still under control, he had no desire for it to blind him as it had with Hopkins the other night. The sheets rustled softly next to him, and his eyes flew open. Just as in every erotic dream he’d ever had about Jane, she was on her knees beside him. The sight of her beautiful body obliterated every shred of anger he’d been holding on to. The air in his lungs disappeared, and deprived of oxygen, his head ached, but nowhere near as much as his cock. They stared at each other for a long moment before she smiled with amusement.

“I’m not sure if I like you quiet and obedient or challenging my every command.” The sultry note in her voice was a silky spider web of sound that held him immobile. With a growing sense of desperation, he tried to rally his anger at her betrayal. Desire and need overruled him as his eyes focused on her full mouth. That the mere sight of her lush curves could undermine his resolve where she was concerned was a clear indicator of just how dangerous Jane was. She’d reached his soul, which meant she had the potential to touch his heart.

He needed to find a way to extract himself from this volatile situation. The sooner he ended this, the better. He swallowed hard. Almost as if she could read his mind, her gaze narrowed beneath her mask. Christ almighty, how could he have looked into
Mystère’s
eyes and not recognized Jane? Desperately, he tried to keep his gaze focused on her face, but failed. Unable to help himself, he looked down at the dark pink nipples of her breasts and the sweet curve of her hip. A lush piece of flesh his fingers itched to caressed.