His Mistress (30 page)

“What, no demands that I believe such a seemingly sincere apology?”

“Despite what you think, my remorse is genuine.” Somehow, Jane managed to choke out her reply beneath his icy glare. “I cannot justify my actions, nor do I expect your forgiveness.”

“And yet you still haven’t shared your reason for lying to me.” The glacial note in his voice only reinforced the depth of his anger and unwillingness to give her absolution.

“Because I doubt you would find my reason an acceptable one,” she gulped as she suddenly realized there was one explanation that might satisfy him, while not exposing her heart. Her hands trembled as Tobias’ penetrating gaze swept over her.

“Let me be the judge of that,” he snapped. “Explain.”

The sharp command reminded her that a power shift had occurred between them. Despite her earlier efforts to gain the upper hand, Tobias was now the one in control. Jane’s hands shook beneath his fierce gaze, but she held her head high in the face of his anger. She refused to yield to him completely.

“I was afraid.” Her quiet words seemed to take him aback. Surprise flashed across his face before his unyielding expression softened to become something bordering on chilly granite.

“Have I ever given you any reason to fear me?” Although his voice was harsh there was a note of puzzlement threading its way beneath his question.

“No, but as my husband, you would possess the legal authority to keep me from coming to
La Maison des Plaisirs Sombres
.”

“I see,” he growled through clenched teeth. “As I recall, I agreed to our leading separate lives once we were married.”

“But you didn’t know I was a member here when you made that agreement.”

“So you concluded I would be selective as to what part of our arrangement I’d honor.” His voice cracked through the air with a raw fury that frightened her.

“I…no…I don’t know.” She shook her head as a sense of helplessness engulfed her. “I only knew I couldn’t bear to lose what little freedom I have. I couldn’t give up my right to choose.”

Tobias gaze didn’t stray from her face as he studied her in silence. There was a steely glint in his eyes that made her shiver. From his demeanor she was certain he knew full well how unsettled she was. She jumped the instant he moved toward her. When he stopped mere inches from her, the raw male scent of him filled her nostrils, and it was impossible to keep her heartbeat from skidding out of control.

“Put your mask on. I’m taking you home.” The autocratic declaration made Jane bristle.

“I’ve already made arrangements.”

“I said I’ll take you home.” His voice was inflexible steel, and in the far reaches of her mind, Jane experienced a small twinge of arousal.

She ignored the sensation. With a shake of her head, she stepped back from him. She might have yielded some of her power to him, but she would not surrender all of it. There was also the matter of the hansom cab waiting for her in the mews behind the club to consider as well. The last thing she wanted was to find herself alone with him in the close confines of the vehicle.

“I’m confused, Tobias. First you tell me tonight was a mistake then you express your contempt for me and my deception. While your anger is justified, your determination to continue playing the role of Lancelot where I’m concerned is not only puzzling, it’s unwelcome,” she snapped. “There is no need for you to escort me home. I am
quite
capable of taking care of myself.”

“Just as you
, capably
, handled that bastard, Edward, a couple of weeks ago?” he said with harsh disapproval. While his concern for her was clearly genuine, it didn’t change the fact that she was in control of her own destiny. Tobias was questioning her ability to command him, or any man, and it infuriated her.

“Now you’re simply being insulting. I know better than to be alone with that man.”

“And what about me?”

There was a dangerous edge to Tobias’ voice that vibrated its way along every nerve ending in Jane’s body. The blithe retort that hovered on the edge of her tongue vanished as she stared up into his dark eyes. Fire burned there in the brown depths of his gaze, but she wasn’t sure if it was anger or passion. Jane swallowed twice in an attempt to allow air into her lungs.

“I knew you for the honorable man you are, Tobias. I trusted you.”

“But not enough,” he murmured in a fashion that suggested his anger was abating. At his reference to her duplicity, she bowed her head as guilt and regret swept through her.

“No. Not enough,” she whispered as she stared at the floor. A strong hand cupped her chin, and Tobias raised her head to look into her eyes.

“Then trust me now to see you home safely.”

It was neither a command nor a plea. It was simply a request to be of service, and her heart wept that it didn’t mean more. With a reluctant nod, she covered her face with her mask and allowed Tobias to escort her out of the room. The shadowy hallway was quiet as Tobias guided her toward the rear of the house.

“Your carriage is in the mews?” It was an observation more than a question, but Jane nodded nonetheless.

“I have a hansom cab that waits for me on the evenings I visit the club.”

Tobias muttered something under his breath as they continued quickly along the back corridors of
La Maison des Plaisirs Sombres
. They were about to pass Angélique’s suite, when Jane halted abruptly.

“I can’t go home like this,” she said quietly and gestured toward her gown. “It’s not the gown I wore when I left the house. I’ll need my cloak as well.”

Tobias acknowledged her comment with a sharp nod and followed her into the suite. Bernadette emerged out of Angélique’s room and smiled. Jane quickly explained she had only come to change before leaving the club. The French seamstress eyed Tobias with appreciation, and Jane experienced a stark twinge of jealousy. Without another word, she hastily crossed the small, cozy salon and entered the dressing room Angélique had made available for her use. As she entered the room, she suddenly realized Tobias had followed her. Startled, she quickly backed away from him as he closed the door. As she met his unreadable gaze, he shrugged.

“I’ve served as a ladies’ maid on occasion.”

The idea that he’d helped other women dress made her heart twist with a jealousy that surpassed what she’d felt moments ago with Bernadette. When she didn’t say anything, Tobias arched his eyebrows, and her cheeks grew hot beneath his probing gaze. All too aware of his astute gaze, Jane turned away and began to undo the buttons of her gown.

Almost immediately, the heat of his body warmed hers, and he took over the task of undoing her gown. Jane fought to keep her breathing under control as Tobias’ fingers brushed across her skin. A moment later, she failed to suppress the shiver that streaked through her as Tobias slipped the gown off her shoulders and it fell to pool at her feet.

Eager to escape his close proximity, she quickly gathered up the gown from the floor and draped it over a nearby chair. Hurrying across the floor to the small wardrobe, she tugged her more sedate dress out of the tall chifforobe and threw it over her shoulders. Her hasty efforts resulted in her becoming entangled in the gown, and with an exasperated grunt, Tobias stepped forward to adjust the gown in a quick, efficient fashion. His fingers firmly grasped her shoulders and he spun her around to close up the back of her dress. Jane didn’t protest.

“You’ve not had a man dress you before, have you?” he muttered with irritation.

“No.” She shook her head as she suddenly realized how much she liked being cared for in this way. She knew he was still angry, but his wrath had softened considerably.

“There seem to be many firsts where you’re concerned, Jane.” There was an undefinable emotion in his voice tempered with pragmatism.

“And what precisely is that supposed to mean?” she exclaimed as she whirled to face him. His gaze unrepentant, Tobias shrugged.

“Are you going to deny I’m the first man you’ve ever chosen to serve you?” It wasn’t a question, it was quietly stated fact. Jane nibbled at her lower lip for a moment. Tobias watched her carefully, his gaze silently warning her as to the consequences of lying.

“No,” she said in a clipped tone. “But you’re not the first man to bed me either.”

Jane brushed past him in her effort to beat a hasty retreat, but Tobias caught her by the arm clearly intent on preventing her escape. She directed a withering look at him, and he immediately released his hold on her. Despite obeying her unspoken command, the scowl on his face remained.

“Whoever the bastard was who took your innocence, he was unworthy of you, Jane.”

His words made her breath catch in her throat. She looked into his eyes, and her stomach lurched with nausea as she saw something bordering on pity in his dark brown eyes. A cry of agony welled up inside her as she struggled with the fact he would never offer his heart to her.

“Barnaby might have been unworthy of me, but I’m the one who was too blind to see him for what he was.” Jane barely managed to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

“And your father has never let you forget that mistake, has he?” Tobias’ soft observation made her want to cry.

Jane simply shook her head as she bit back tears of anger and sadness. In an unexpected gesture, Tobias reached out to lightly stroke her cheek with his hand. Jane immediately shrank away from the gentle caress.

“I have no need of your pity, Tobias,” she said coldly.

“Pity is the last thing I would ever feel for you, Jane. You’re far too strong a woman to ever have need of such an emotion from me or anyone.” His dark eyes stared into hers until she turned her head away and nodded her understanding.

“Thank you.” She retrieved her cloak from the wardrobe and put her mask on again. “If you’re still insistent on seeing me home, then I’m ready.”

“I’m still insistent,” he murmured with a wry twist of his lips. With a slight bow, Tobias gestured toward the door with a small flourish of his hand.

Several moments later, Tobias assisted her into the hansom cab waiting for her then dropped his large frame into the small space next to her. The small confines of the vehicle made it impossible for Jane to put any real distance between them. His spicy scent filled her nostrils and it ignited a hunger deep inside her. That he could affect her so easily made her realize how terribly difficult life would be after they were married. Perhaps she should simply defy her father and refuse to marry Tobias. It was a short-lived thought. As his wife she would be able to see him from time to time. The thought of never seeing him again was too painful.

As the vehicle rolled out of the mews and onto the street, Jane fought hard to focus her attention anywhere but on the man beside her. It was an impossible task when everything about him tugged at her senses. Acutely aware of how his shoulder and thigh were pressing into her, Jane longed to let her hand slide out of her lap to rest on the hard leg, which had tangled with her own just a short time ago.

The vehicle moved quickly through the streets toward Culverstone House and Jane removed her mask. The crumpled silk domino settled in her lap, and as she stared at it, she knew she’d never wear it again. It represented winning Tobias’ surrender while losing all hope of capturing his heart. She released a soft sigh, and Tobias immediately bent his head toward hers.

“This Barnaby, did he force himself on you?”

The unexpected question caught her off guard, but it was the fierce, dark note of anger in Tobias’ voice that made her jerk her gaze toward him. The cab passed a lamppost, and the light revealed a glitter of emotion in Tobias’ eyes that made the anger she’d witnessed in him earlier pale in comparison. A shiver raced across her skin as she shook her head.

“No. I can’t accuse Barnaby of that,” she said quietly. “I gave myself to him freely, and I was well aware of the consequences in doing so. I simply wasn’t prepared to discover he was married, and that his sole purpose had been to seduce me and secure payment for his silence about out liaison.”

Tobias dragged in a harsh breath beside her and uttered an inaudible word before he reached for her hand. Gently, he curled his large hand around hers. The gesture was a comforting one and Jane closed her eyes to fight back tears. It had been a very long time since she’d cried over Barnaby or her father’s callous treatment. She refused to cry anymore. Jane pushed the past as far back into her mind as she could and looked up at Tobias.

“I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I am sorry for deceiving you,” she said quietly. “I truly meant to tell you when I entered the room tonight. But when I saw you waiting for me, all I could think about was how splendidly handsome and male you looked. You took my breath away.”

Although she knew she’d shared far too much, she wanted him to understand she’d meant to tell him, but had been caught up in the moment. Silence lingered between them for a long moment before Tobias squeezed her hand.

“I believe you, Jane.” There was an odd catch in his voice that made her think he’d meant to say something else, but had decided not to.

The hansom cab rolled up to the doorstep of Culverstone House, and Tobias leapt down from the vehicle then turned to help Jane alight from the small cab. With a quiet order to the driver to wait, Tobias cupped his hand beneath her elbow and escorted Jane up the steps to the front door. Gently, he raised her hand to his lips and brushed his mouth across her fingertips. A tremor shook its way through her as her body responded to his caress with an intensity that made her heart skip a full beat. If he sensed her reaction, he didn’t acknowledge it.

“Sleep well, Jane,” he said quietly as Caldwell opened the door behind her. “I’ll speak with you soon.”

Without another word, he walked down the steps leaving Jane to stand there watching him depart with a feeling of hopelessness feeding her soul. It was as if he’d just said good-bye to her for the last time, and her heart released a silent cry of anguish. The sound of the horse’s hooves on cobblestone filled her ears as she crossed over the threshold of Culverstone House. Despite every instinct in her body telling her to run after him, Jane did just the opposite and allowed Tobias to ride off into the dark without her.