His Robot Girlfriend (6 page)

“
Does it bother you that I
got her?”

“
You’re a big boy,” said
Harriet. “I trust you to make your own decisions.”

“
Good. Your disapproval
would have bothered me more than anyone else’s.”

“
Come on, Dad. I know I
wasn’t your favorite.”

“
Don’t tell Lucas this,”
said Mike. “But I’ve always felt like I had more of a connection
with you than with him.”

Harriet looked at him strangely for a
moment.

“
Where is Patience?” asked
Mike.

“
I sent her home a couple
of hours ago to shower and change. I hope she gets some rest too.
She looked really tired.”

“
She doesn’t get tired.
She’s a robot.”

“
Maybe,” conceded Harriet.
“But she was by your side almost the whole time you were
out.”

Harriet stayed with her father for another
hour. Then Mike sent her on her way. He hadn’t actually wanted her
there at all. He had always been of the opinion that children, even
adult children, should not have to see their father in that kind of
weakened compromised condition. The two other times he was admitted
to the hospital, he hadn’t allowed any of the kids to visit
him.

Mike was served lunch of soup and some kind
of light purple jell-o. By the time he had eaten he was feeling
pretty fit. He flipped on the vueTee and tried to find something
good to watch, but nothing interested him. Then he saw that a
texTee was sitting on the bedside table. It was a newer model that
the one he had at home. He turned it on and flipped through the
selection of magazines. Time. Electronic Entertainment. National
Geographic. Penthouse. And three comic books: Superman, Wonder
Woman, and Batman. It was as if someone had transferred his own
subscriptions to the new device. Then when he selected one of the
magazines and watched the electronic ink fill the screen, he
realized that this was just what had happened. Although Harriet
could have compiled that selection, she would have died before
buying a Penthouse. Patience had done this for him.

Mike had read all of the comics and was
flipping through Time when Patience bounded into the room. She was
wearing a black camisole top cut just above her perfect belly
button and a pair of very low rise jeans, which together created a
truly expansive piece of exposed stomach real estate. The pair of
five inch sandal pumps, called “Rowenas” that she had purchased at
the mall made her slender figure look seven feet tall.

When she saw that Mike was awake, she leaped
to his side, clasped his face in her hands and kissed him deeply.
She climbed into the hospital bed with him, and continued kissing
him. When she seemed about to give him a hickey on his neck, Mike
pushed her head away.

“
Hold on,” he said. “I’ll
be out of here in a few hours, and then we can do that at
home.”

“
The doctor said that you
need to spend another night, Mike.”

Mike’s face immediately turned sour.

“
I really hate hospitals.
Always have.”

“
Don’t worry,” Patience
said. “I’ll stay here with you.”

“
I didn’t say I was
worried. I just don’t like hospitals.”

Patience nestled down in the bed next to him
and put her head on his chest.

“
I was so worried, Mike,”
she said. “I thought for a moment that you were going to die. You
were so heroic. I love you so much.”

“
Oh, come on,” Mike said.
“You were the one who kicked the crap out of the bad
guys.”

“
Self defense is part of my
programming. You didn’t have that advantage and you still went
after them.”

“
Whatever. Tell me
everything that happened after I passed out.”

“
When you fell, I used my
first aid programming to staunch the flow of blood. Then I used my
infiNet connection to call the fire department. Paramedics and an
ambulance arrived nine minutes later. The police arrived two
minutes after that. While you were being loaded into the ambulance,
I made sure that all of our purchases were stowed safely in the
trunk, and then drove the car to the hospital. Once here, I needed
to notify your daughter, because the clerks at the hospital would
not accept my signature to begin medical treatment. They said they
needed a relative to sign admission papers.”

“
And you stayed here until
Harriet sent you home.”

“
Yes.”

“
I’m glad you’re
back.”

“
I’m glad I’m back
too.”

They lay together on the hospital bed for
some time not speaking. It was not an awkward silence, but rather a
pleasant one. Mike finally broke it.

“
I’ve only known you for
six days, but I already feel like I never want to be without you. I
never want you to leave.”

“
You will never be without
me, Mike,” she said. “I will never leave you.”

Patience lay in the bed with Mike for the
rest of the afternoon. He had never been so comfortable sharing
such a small bed in his life. They both ignored the disapproving
looks they received from the nurse each time she came in to check
on him.

“
I don’t think they’re
going to let you stay the night with me,” Mike said. “Can you go
home and sleep?”

“
I don’t need to sleep, but
I have plenty that I can do. Then I can come and take you home
tomorrow.”

“
Good,” said Mike. “Why
don’t you go ahead and go now. They are going to start serving
dinner in a few minutes anyway.”

“
As you wish, Mike.” She
climbed out of bed and bent over, kissing him on the cheek, before
walking briskly out of the room.

Time without Patience went very slowly. Mike
ate the soup, toast, and pudding that made up his dinner. He
watched Animal Olympics on vueTee, the only thing even remotely
interesting. He even took a little nap, though it was hard with the
nurses talking right outside his door. Loudly. Without any concern
for someone trying to sleep.

The next morning, Mike got up and dressed in
one of the new outfits that Patience had picked out for him at the
mall-- a twill jacket and matching pleated pants with a mustard
colored tie. Then he had to wait an interminable amount of time to
be discharged. If Patience hadn’t arrived when she did, he would
have eventually thrown a fit. But with her there, nothing seemed to
be that bad. At last an orderly arrived with a wheelchair and
rolled him out the front door. Once outside, Mike got up and walked
to the car. But he let Patience drive him home. As they drove, Mike
watched Patience, marveling at her motoring skill. Then he noticed
something else.

“
You have earrings! I mean,
you have pierced ears and earrings.”

“
That’s right, Mike. I was
able to get them done last night at Circuit City.”

He looked carefully at the right ear, the
only one visible. Her lobe was pierced twice and there was a small
stud at the top of her ear through the cartilage—plastic, he
corrected himself.

“
I didn’t know you wanted
three holes.”

“
I have four in the other
ear,” said Patience. “I noticed signs of sexual arousal when I
approached the subject.”

“
In who?”

“
You.”

“
You did? Well, yes.” Mike
cleared his throat and took a scholarly tone. “Ours, like most
civilizations, uses pierced ears to signal sexual
availability.”

“
But I saw little babies
with their ears pierced.”

“
Yeah, I know. That’s
revolting.”

When they reached the house, Patience came
around and opened the door for him. Together they went inside. Mike
was struck at how perfectly clean the place was. It had been
vacuumed, dusted, and he noticed that even the bookcases had been
organized according to the Library of Congress system.

“
This house looks great,”
he said.

“
Thank you.” Patience
beamed. She led him to the couch and kissed him. They made love
right there in the living room, Mike noticing only afterwards that
the window glass was set to transparent. He relaxed afterwards and
was just beginning to doze off when Patience returned to summon him
to dinner in the dining room. She had set the table for one, with a
lit candle as the centerpiece. Then she sat down across from him as
he ate. She had prepared red pepper halibut and for dessert--
cannoli. The dinner was delicious.

“
Can I ask you about some
of the things I found in Harriet’s old room?” asked
Patience.

“
Sure.”

“
I found approximately four
thousand three hundred comic books, and several hundred old paper
books.”

“
Yes. Those are mostly from
my teen years. I was going to try and sell them on eBay, along with
the old books I have boxed away in there. They don’t make them any
more, you know. So they should be worth something. But it’s a lot
of work.”

“
Very good,” she said. “I
also found six boxes of pictures and associated
memorabilia.”

“
That’s all the family
souvenirs. Tiffany started making scrapbooks a few years before she
died, scanning that stuff in to go along with the pictures on the
vueTee. But she only managed to complete a couple. I thought about
making some myself, but it just takes so much time. I’m not really
into it anyway. Maybe I will just give it all to
Harriet.

“
Would you mind if I sorted
through all of these things, Mike?”

“
Of course not. You are my
girlfriend after all. Just take good care of the scrapbook
stuff.”

“
I will take good care of
all of it,” said Patience. “Except the old books and comic books,
which I will sell for you.”

Mike spent the remainder of the evening, with
his feet up, in his recliner watching Star Trek: Engineering Corps.
He had purchased it a week before, but hadn’t had a chance to play
it. When he was done, he brushed and flossed his teeth. Then
Patience changed his bandage for him and tucked him into bed. Then
she turned out the lights, and lay down next to him until he had
fallen asleep. That was precisely11:02

“
Time to get up, Mike,”
said Patience. “Take your shower and I will have breakfast ready
for you when you get out.”

“
I don’t know if I’m
hungry.”

“
A healthy breakfast is
important.”

Mike tilted his head and looked
questioningly.

“
It is important for you to
be healthy, Mike. I’ve already started you on a regimen of
exercise. It is important that you eat well too.”

“
Alright then.” He got up
and made his way to the shower.

True to her word and her name, Patience was
waiting patiently with a piece of whole wheat toast and a glass of
grapefruit-pineapple juice.

“
What now?” he asked as he
ate.

“
You have to work today,”
Patience replied. “We will go to the gym for our workout
later.”

It was Mike’s last day of the school year. He
had already packed away everything that needed to be packed, so all
he really had to do was show up and wait for the principal to check
him out. By eleven, he was done. He had walked to school, and he
walked back home to find Patience at the door in a tight pair of
red shorts and a white spaghetti tank. He had a small salad for
lunch, and then they went to the gym.

“
Are we going to exercise
every day over the summer?” Mike asked on the way.

“
Five times a
week.”

Time at the gym went quickly and Mike
suffered only a small amount of discomfort from his stomach.
Afterwards, as they drove home, Mike asked Patience to stop at the
cemetery.

“
I promised Tiffany that I
would stop by every week, but I haven’t been there in months. Of
course, she was dead when I promised her, so it’s not like she
heard me.”

Patience pulled the car into the cemetery
gate and drove around at Mike’s direction until they reached the
southeast corner, where the green of the grass met the tan of the
surrounding desert. Mike climbed out and walked to the marker at
the head of his wife’s grave. The marker was covered with bits of
grass from the last time the lawn was mowed, as well as bits of
dirt. He knelt down and brushed it off. Tiffany Louise Smith
1984-2021, little enough to sum up a lifetime. 2021! Could it
really be eleven years? That didn’t seem possible.

“
Who is buried here?” asked
Patience.

Mike looked up. A few feet from Tiffany’s
grave was another. Affixed to the flat grave marker was an upright
statue, about a foot tall, of an angel, a little girl with wings,
wearing a nightgown and holding a flower in her left hand, her
right hand raising a handkerchief to her eye.

“
Some poor little
child.”

Home once again, Mike took another shower and
had a quick nap before getting up to play a few games of Age of
Destruction on vueTee. Pausing the game, he went to the kitchen to
get a diet Pepsi and noticed for the first time that the kitchen
cabinets had been scrubbed clean. He opened one to find it
reorganized inside. This sent him on a tour around the house. He
went into the garage to find that what had once been only the home
of a gigantic mound of surplus junk had been reorganized. Tiffany’s
Tesla, which hadn’t been driven or even charged in more than two
years, was clean and polished. There was actually enough room for
Mike’s Chevy to sit beside it, and it had never known the interior
of the garage. Most of the room’s contents were now on the shelves
along the walls, and what remained was neatly stacked against the
west wall to either side of the inside door.