His Texas Bride (11 page)

“Practicing?” Buck teased through a mouthful of cake.

It was the words he didn’t say that threw her. Ellie choked up on her own bite of cake and coughed violently. Buck patted her awkwardly on the back. Commitment was still a huge issue between them, and Ellie was positive Buck, of all people, would be gun-shy about getting married.

At that moment someone knocked sharply and rapidly on the front door.

“I’ll get it,” Ellie said promptly, relieved to have something physical to do, something to get her away
from Buck for a moment. She needed to think, to regain her equilibrium after what he’d just hinted at. “It’s probably another one of Tyler’s friends,” she muttered. “I didn’t ever get a head count. Did you?”

Buck shook his head. “Whoever it is at the door probably rang the bell several times. I don’t know about you, but I can’t hear a thing over this ruckus.”

Ellie smiled. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

Buck cupped Ellie’s face for a quick, appreciative kiss. Part of her wanted to pull away, but that was immediately overridden by the pressure of Buck’s warm, soft lips and gentle touch. “Yeah, sugar. It is wonderful.”

At length Ellie put her palms on Buck’s chest and pushed him away. “I have to get the door, Buck.” Her voice caught in her throat and came out raspy.

He chuckled. “Yeah. Right. The door.” Reluctantly he gave way and allowed Ellie to squirm out of his embrace.

Head still spinning, she weaved her way through the teenagers crammed in the living room and toward the front door.

Good thing she wasn’t claustrophobic, she thought with a grin. “Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me,” she quipped, edging closer toward the door with each step. “Welcome,” she said as she swung the front door open wide and smiled at the newcomer. “Buck and Tyler and I are glad you could make it today.”

To her surprise, it wasn’t a teenager on the other side of the door. It was a beautiful woman with sparkling blue eyes and blunt-cut, short blond hair. Ellie didn’t recognize the lady and wondered if she was new in town.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Ellie apologized immediately. “I thought you would be one of Tyler’s friends. Are you
somebody’s mother? Good luck finding them in this wild horde.”

The woman’s gaze widened and she shook her head. “I’m Tyler’s…”

“Julie,” came Buck’s surprised voice from directly behind Ellie. “What are you doing here?”

B
uck was so stunned, he couldn’t breath. He couldn’t say another word. Through a murky haze of surprise, he wondered if his heart was even beating.

Ellie glanced back at him. All the color drained from her face as she repeated what Buck had just said. “Julie?”

The woman continued to stand on the doorstep, her smile faltering. She made no move to enter the house, which was just as well, Buck thought, shock and anger warring for prominence in his chest. He should just toss her out again. How dare she show up at their son’s birthday party?

Their
son.

That biological fact couldn’t be denied. Buck didn’t know what to do. He wanted to demand that Julie turn right around and return to whatever rock she’d crawled out from under, but he didn’t want to make a scene. Not at Tyler’s birthday party. A sledgehammer pounded relentlessly at his temple as he
fought to contain the anger simmering just under the surface, which was threatening to erupt at any moment now.

Ellie seemed to snap out of it at that moment. “Please, come in,” she said, gesturing for Julie to enter the house. “It’s Tyler’s thirteenth birthday today.”

“I know,” said Julie, pinching her lips and looking, Buck thought, very much like she might burst into tears. Julie always had been somewhat of a spoiled drama queen. Apparently the years hadn’t changed her a bit.

Julie hesitated on the doorstep, looking from Buck to Ellie and back to Buck again. Her eyes widened slightly. “I can come back another time,” she said, her voice cracking.

Buck vehemently shook his head. “No. You can’t. You think you can just show up—”

Ellie stopped the flow of Buck’s angry words with a calming palm to his chest. “Buck. Now is not the time or place. Let her come in.”

Buck glared at Julie but backed away, allowing her to enter the ranch house. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said softly to Ellie, but loud enough that Julie could hear it.

“Maybe not,” Ellie agreed quietly, for Buck’s ears only. “But what choice do we have? If you make a scene now, it will ruin Tyler’s party.”

Buck blew out a frustrated breath. He wanted to scream. At Julie.

“I know you’re right,” he growled, clenching and unclenching his fists in a vain attempt to reel in his anger. “She just caught me off guard.”

“That’s the understatement of the century,” Ellie
whispered, squeezing Buck’s arm before turning to their new guest. “Would you care for a piece of cake, Julie?”

Buck could tell Ellie was as off-kilter as he was. He felt her fingers shaking where they gripped his arm, though she kept her expression polite and neutral. If Julie’s sudden appearance had stunned him, he could only imagine how Ellie felt at suddenly and unexpectedly meeting his ex-wife. He wanted to sweep Ellie away, to reassure her that nothing had changed.

But it had. The moment Ellie had opened the front door to Julie, it had. And there was no getting around it.

“She doesn’t want a piece of cake.” Buck answered for Julie, his eyes narrowing on the unsolicited visitor.

“No, thank you,” Julie agreed.

“Let’s take this into the kitchen,” he suggested through a clenched jaw.

And get it over with,
he added mentally.

The sooner he talked to Julie, the sooner she would be gone—with Tyler none the wiser, Buck hoped, although he imagined
Julie
had different plans in mind.

Not that he cared what Julie’s plans were. She wasn’t going to get the chance to act on them.

“You and Julie go,” Ellie prompted. “I’ll stay out here and oversee the party.”

“Ellie,” Buck ground out.

Ellie laid a palm on his chest. “This is between the two of you, don’t you think?”

Buck blew out another breath. He struggled to remain calm on the outside when he was shaking with fury on the inside.

“I guess. She won’t be staying long,” he promised,
laying his hand over Ellie’s soft fingers and giving them a light squeeze.

“I understand if you need some time,” Ellie whispered back to him.

“I
don’t
need time,” he snapped, then dragged in a breath through his teeth. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be taking my frustration out on you.”

“I know,” was Ellie’s simple response.

Buck nodded at Julie and gestured toward the kitchen. “We can talk in here.”

“Thank you,” was all Julie said.

Buck knew the exact second Julie spotted Tyler, for she froze in place, nothing moving except her shoulders, which shuddered repeatedly. Buck couldn’t see her face and therefore didn’t have any idea how she was taking this. All he knew was he couldn’t let her speak to Tyler.

Not now.

Preferably not ever.

He strode forward, placing his hand on the small of her back and propelling her away from Tyler as quickly as possible. Buck maneuvered his ex-wife into the kitchen, wishing there was a door between the kitchen and dining room so he and Julie could talk in private without a chance of being overheard.

“Maybe we should take a walk outside,” he suggested in a low voice.

Julie nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

Buck opened the back door and let Julie go first. She didn’t speak as they ambled down the hill, toward the stable. He bit his lip against the silence until he could no longer stand it.

“Why are you here?” he demanded, reaching for Julie’s elbow and hauling her to a stop.

“I needed to see Tyler,” she explained, her voice rough and tears marking the corners of her eyes.

Buck shook his head. “Of all the nerve. Ten years go by and suddenly you need to see your son?”

Julie held up both hands in an apologetic gesture. “I know. I’ve treated you both abominably.”

“I’ll say,” Buck growled.

“I have no excuse for my actions, except that I was young and stupid.”

“Not good enough.”

“I know,” she replied, breaking her gaze from Buck and softly swirling the dirt at her feet with the toe of one sneaker. “That’s why I’m here.”

“To what? Apologize? Julie, there is nothing you can say to me that will make any difference.”

“I figured you’d probably react this way,” she said softly and apologetically.

“Really?” Buck crossed his arms over his chest. “You figured, huh? What was your first clue?”

“I don’t blame you for being angry.”

“Angry?” Buck huffed. “Lady, I passed
angry
years ago. I don’t feel anything for you now.”

“I didn’t expect you to.”

“Too much time has passed. You never called, never wrote. You just disappeared.
You deserted your own son!
”

“Like I said before, no excuses.” Julie’s voice remained calm, if wavering, and she didn’t quite meet Buck’s gaze. “I just wanted to see Tyler.”

“Well, you’ve seen him,” Buck ground out. “Now get out of here and go back to wherever it is you came from.”

“I—I had hoped to talk to him,” Julie stammered, turning her back on Buck and taking a couple of steps away from him—out of his reach, he imagined.

“Not a chance,” Buck said fervently. “I’m not going to let you hurt him any more.”

Julie shook her head. “I won’t tell him I’m his mother,” she insisted. “I just want to speak with him for a few minutes. Is that too much to ask?”

“Frankly, yes.”

“Okay.”

That one quietly spoken word sent a wave of guilt washing over Buck.

Guilt!

What did he have to feel guilty about?

She
was the one who had left, who had broken their son’s heart. He was only looking out for the welfare of his son by sending Julie away, wasn’t he?

Suddenly he wasn’t so sure. Was he really looking out for Tyler’s best interests, or was it himself he was worried about? He was certainly worried about how Ellie would take all this; their relationship was hanging by the most tenuous of threads. Something like this could make it snap entirely, though he had to admit, however grudgingly, that Julie was carrying herself with a reserved poise that didn’t appear overtly threatening.

He’d lost his perspective the moment Julie showed up on the doorstep. He wished he had stayed at Ellie’s side and not gone off on his own with Julie, even if Ellie had been the one to suggest that he and Julie should be alone to talk. Buck began to pray fervently under his breath, asking for God to intervene in what
could turn into a blowout situation for everyone concerned, especially if Buck didn’t handle it right.

“We have to go back to the house,” he said hoarsely, then cleared his throat.

Julie raised her eyebrows, but nodded complacently. “I know you’ve already made up your mind about me,” she said softly. “But I hope you’ll reconsider.”

Buck highly doubted that would happen, but at the end of the day, Julie was still Tyler’s biological mother. She had no legal rights to the boy, Buck had seen to that, but he could understand her wanting to see Tyler.

Ten years ago, maybe.

Why had Julie shown up now, just when things were finally starting to fall into place in his life? For the first time in forever he’d been happy, but that had blown up in his face the moment Julie arrived.

As he entered the ranch house, Julie hard on his heels, Buck realized he hadn’t even properly introduced Ellie and Julie. He’d been so taken aback by Julie’s sudden arrival, he hadn’t thought of the formalities. Clearly Ellie had figured it out on her own, though, and right now Buck needed her help—an outside, though not totally unbiased, perspective.

“Wait here,” he told Julie as soon as they entered the kitchen. Buck made his way back out to the living room, where he found Ellie quietly standing by the punch bowl, her arms wrapped in front of her and a wistful look on her face.

“I need your help,” he stated without preamble as he approached Ellie.

“Did you two work things out already?” she asked, sounding surprised.

“Not exactly,” Buck growled.

Not even close.

He took Ellie’s hand and half dragged her into the kitchen. He could understand, her reluctance to interfere. He would feel the same way in her position. The fact of the matter was, if he could see any way to avoid this conflict entirely, he would definitely be the first one crowding out that door.

“Ellie, this is my ex-wife, Julie,” he said, wrapping a protective arm around Ellie’s waist. He couldn’t say he was really surprised when Ellie immediately stepped out of his reach, but it still hurt. He cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, Julie,” he continued, doing his best to be polite. “I don’t know what last name you go by now. Julie, this is, er, my friend Ellie McBride.” He had wanted to introduce her as something more than just a friend, but he wasn’t sure if Ellie was ready for that, given the circumstances.

Julie gave what Buck had to admit appeared to be a genuine smile and held out her hand to Ellie.

“It’s nice to meet you,” they said simultaneously. It might have been humorous were the situation not as tense and high-strung as it was.

Buck grimaced. Hadn’t he put Ellie through enough? Yet she appeared to be taking this well enough. His chest clenching painfully, he plunged forward. “Julie is here to see Tyler,” he explained roughly, jamming his fingers into his hair.

“I see,” Ellie said, when she clearly did not.

“I just want to talk to him,” Julie added, tacking her comment onto the back of Buck’s statement. “I have
no intention of telling him who I am. Can you understand that?”

Ellie shook her head. “No. Not really. Not now.”

Buck’s heart swelled as Ellie took on the role of protector to Tyler, showing her love for the boy more clearly than Buck could ever have imagined.

“Look, I understand how you both must feel.” Julie gestured with both hands.

“Do you?” Buck asked curtly and then clamped his mouth shut again.

Hadn’t he changed at all, grown at all, in his time here at the ranch with Ellie? Was he the same gruff man he’d been when he came back to Ferrell? Hadn’t his new relationship with God made
any
difference in his life?

With a quick prayer, he bolstered his defenses, trying to shut out his natural emotional response, the stab of betrayal he felt every time he looked into Julie’s eyes. Buck fought to be the better man here and not purposefully antagonize Julie. That wouldn’t solve anything.

“I can’t say enough how sorry I am for my past actions,” Julie continued.

Ellie crossed her arms and stepped back closer to Buck’s side, creating what Buck thought might be a mental barricade against anything Julie might say or do. Buck wanted to wrap Ellie in his arms and protect her from all this, but he knew she wouldn’t accept his reassurance. Not now.

Ellie didn’t know what to think—in fact, she could barely think at all with the sea of emotions enveloping her. She tried to pray but felt as if her words were bouncing off the ceiling and coming right back at her.

How could God have allowed this to happen?

Why now?

She gazed at Buck, empathizing with the anger and bewilderment written all over his expression. His jaw was tight, and Ellie knew he was desperately trying to control himself, keep a hold on his quick temper. She admired him for that, at least.

But it wasn’t fair for Buck to bring her into the middle of this situation. She was the last person on earth who could offer any kind of impartiality. This was between Buck and Julie and, Ellie thought, hopefully nobody else—especially Tyler. The whole thing was a sure heartbreak for the boy any way Ellie looked at it.

She could hardly stand to look at the pain in
Buck’s
face. She didn’t know how she could possibly watch
Tyler
experience one more disappointment in his life, especially something this major. Yet here Julie was, and Ellie knew deep down she could not send the woman away as abruptly as she wished.

Ellie closed her eyes for a moment and took an intense, calming breath. Whether she liked or not, she
had
been thrust into the middle of this situation between Buck and his ex-wife, and had no choice now but to mediate the best she could and hope for a miracle.

There was a deafening silence in her head and heart, where Ellie wanted immediate—and definitive—answers. She sighed and brushed her fingers back through her hair.