His Texas Bride (13 page)

When Julie was finished talking, Ellie let out the breath she’d been holding. She had to admit she was surprised by what she had learned.

Julie was a
Christian?
Did that change everything, or not? Ellie wasn’t sure.

“That’s why I think she should tell Tyler the truth,” Buck explained, his voice low and gravelly. “There’s
been more than enough pain and betrayal in our lives already. It might help Tyler to learn the truth about his birth mother. I thought maybe it would help him resolve his anger issues.”

“Only if you agree that’s what is best, too, Ellie,” Julie speedily added as a postscript.

“What does this have to do with me?” Ellie asked Julie, shaking her head in denial. “This decision has to be exclusively between you and Buck.”

“I told her you didn’t want to get in the middle of this,” Buck rumbled.

Ellie’s gaze flashed back to Buck. She wondered if Julie could see the pain etched in Buck’s features, as Ellie could. How close had Buck and Julie once been? And was the bond of having a child together so easily broken?

“Perhaps I was wrong about that,” Ellie admitted softly. “I might have been trying to take the easy way out. I want to be there for you, Buck, and for Tyler, too.”

“You do?” Buck swept in a deep breath, and his expression immediately brightened up at the first sound of her heartfelt declaration.

“Of course I do,” Ellie assured him. “I, er, care for you, you knucklehead.” Ellie was still uncomfortable expressing the deepest emotions of her heart in front of Buck’s ex, but she didn’t see any way around it now.

And Buck needed to hear it.

“But you just said you didn’t think this situation—Julie coming clean to the
whole
family—had anything to do with you,” he pointed out. It almost sounded like an accusation.

“That’s right. I did. Because what you and Julie
decide to do shouldn’t have anything to do with me,” Ellie explained, her tone slightly defensive.

“But it does, don’t you see?” Julie finally shifted her gaze from the table to Ellie. “This has everything to do with you.”

“You want my opinion?” Ellie asked, confused.

“We want more than your opinion, Ellie,” Buck added. “Julie and I—and most especially Tyler—we all need your support, no matter what decision we come to tonight. You offered, and I’m holding you to it. We need you.”

“Don’t you think Tyler already thinks of you as a mother?” Julie queried.

Ellie hadn’t really thought about that. It had been so natural to protect and nurture Tyler—almost as if he were her own son, and not Julie’s. Maybe because Julie had been out of the picture. She had abandoned her family.

Until now.

Ellie leveled her gaze on Julie, who looked as if she wanted to turn away, though she didn’t.

“I agree with Buck,” Ellie said so softly she wasn’t sure anyone had heard.

“You do?” Buck sounded surprised.

“Based on everything you’ve told me, Julie, it doesn’t seem right to keep this a secret any longer,” Ellie added.

“We should hold off on telling him until tomorrow, though,” Buck stated firmly. “Tyler had the best birthday party ever today. His
only
birthday party ever. We don’t know which way this is going to go. Let’s not ruin his day.”

“I say we sleep on it,” Ellie suggested. “Pray about it. Morning will be soon enough to make a final decision.”

Buck flashed her a relieved grin. “See?” he told Julie. “I told you Ellie was special.”

Ellie blushed, wondering how
special
she would feel tomorrow, when Tyler found out who Julie really was. Would the boy still want Ellie in his life? Or would Julie’s presence ruin the best two things that had ever happened to her?

M
orning came too early for Buck, who had spent the better part of the night pacing back and forth across the small confines of his room like a caged animal. He’d prayed harder than he’d ever prayed in his life. He’d searched the scriptures, reading the psalms to find a small degree of comfort.

But it wasn’t enough.

Or at least, it didn’t feel like enough. Buck knew better than to attach too much significance to his feelings, but he couldn’t shake the sensation that he was carrying around a tremendously heavy burden on his shoulders.

Truth be told, Buck was out-and-out terrified of what the morning would bring. Despite his brave face to Ellie, he wasn’t one hundred percent convinced they were doing the right thing. What if everything went south? What if the last person Tyler wanted to meet in his life was his biological mother?

What if Buck was wrong? And how could he live with himself if he was?

Buck found both women already in the kitchen, seated across from each other and silently sipping their mugs of coffee. Each of the women was studiously avoiding the other, but Ellie looked up at him when he entered the room.

Ellie had obviously not slept any better than Buck, judging from the black circles under her eyes. Julie, while not looking well rested exactly, at least looked determined, her lips pinching together after every sip of coffee.

Buck poured a cup of steaming coffee for himself and sat down next to Ellie.

“So?” he asked after taking a long pull of the hot liquid. The coffee burned his throat, but it was a welcome distraction from the tension lacing the air.

Ellie gazed at him questioningly. Julie took another sip of coffee.

“Are we still on the same page?” he asked when neither woman spoke.

“I think so,” Ellie murmured, nodding her head. “If Julie is willing to make amends, I don’t see how it’s fair to let her walk away without Tyler knowing the truth.”

Buck nodded.

“Fair to Tyler, that is,” Ellie added quickly. “The boy is old enough to make his own decisions on whether or not he wants to pursue any kind of relationship with Julie. We need to be honest with him.”

Buck’s gaze widened on Ellie. All through the night he had been praying for answers, praying that his son would not be hurt by their decision to come clean. While he’d given great consideration to how
Tyler would react, he hadn’t realized he had done his son a disservice, had underestimated the boy—the young man.

Tyler
did
deserve to know the truth, Buck recognized belatedly. He wasn’t a small child anymore. Hadn’t Tyler shown Buck in so many ways just how grown up he was?

Julie’s fingers were gripping the mug so tightly, Buck marveled that it didn’t break in her hands. Her expression was equally apprehensive.

Buck exhaled sharply. “So, how are we going to go about this?” he asked quietly.

“Go about what?” came an all-too-familiar voice from the doorway.

Buck froze, his coffee cup midway to his mouth. Ellie straightened. Julie slumped.

“What’s going on?” Tyler asked, his gaze sliding from face to face. The boy rubbed his palms over his eyes in a sleepy fashion usually reserved for toddlers, the unconscious gesture bringing with it a boulder-size lump to Buck’s throat.

However the three adults had envisioned everything going down, this most certainly wasn’t it. Yet his son was clearly intrigued by the fact that nobody was speaking. Ellie, at least, should be bubbling over right about now, even if Buck was his usual silent self.

And then there was Julie….

Buck slid his gaze from Tyler to Julie, who was staring at the boy with wide eyes and a slack jaw, which worked up and down as if she meant to speak, though no sound crossed her lips. Buck’s fingers started a rhythmic staccato against the cool hardness
of the walnut table, in tune with the persistent thrumming of his angst-ridden heart.

“I…I…” Julie said at last, but even the single syllable sounded garbled to Buck’s ears.

Buck panicked. His fingers continued their droning, but he hardly noticed through the haze of emotion hanging over him. The adults in question needed to
plan
a time and place to tell the boy the truth, not just spring it on him because he had entered the kitchen at the wrong moment.

Buck tried to get Julie’s attention but failed. Her gaze never left Tyler.

Ellie’s hand was somehow in Buck’s. She squeezed hard, silencing the nervous movement of his wayward fingers. The tension-laden air now felt to Buck as if it were full of razor-sharp shards of glass. He tried to breathe normally but couldn’t, as the air painfully stuck in his lungs.

Julie shook herself, as if coming out of a trance. She looked to Buck hesitantly. “Should I…” She stopped herself and started over again. “Should we tell him?”

Tyler frowned straight at Buck, clearly blaming him for any secrets being kept. Buck would have cringed if he could move, but he was still frozen to the spot.

After a moment Tyler huffed in exasperation and turned his gaze upon Ellie. “Tell me what?”

Ellie coughed, clearing her throat. “Your dad and Julie have something they want to say to you.”

Tyler’s eyes flitted back to Buck again, his gaze narrowing in suspicion. “Dad and
Julie?
”

Buck sighed loudly. This wasn’t going the way he thought it would, not that he’d actually come up with
a likely scenario for telling Tyler anything without hurting the boy’s feelings.
But still,
he thought, a war waging inside his heart.

And now it couldn’t be helped.

“Julie didn’t come here for the therapy ranch,” Buck explained, wondering if his voice sounded as strained to his son as it did to his own ears. “She came here for you.”

The sudden brightness, followed by a flash of pain, in Tyler’s eyes was enough for Buck to know the boy had more than an inkling of what Buck was talking about, what he could not bring himself to say aloud.

“And?” Tyler asked through clenched teeth.

And?
Tyler stared Buck straight in the eyes, daring him with both his gaze and his posture. He was going to make Buck say the words out loud.

This time Buck did cringe, visibly. He looked to Julie for help. This was her problem, after all. Buck hadn’t invited her here, nor did he particularly want what was happening, even if last evening he’d been encouraging Julie toward just this outcome.

“And, uh…” Buck stalled, trying to swim through the murk of his confusion. If only he wasn’t so suddenly set on doing what was right, he might lie through his teeth and make it all go away.

Yet despite the noise in his head, Buck knew he needed to do what
God
would have him do, no matter what—not take what would clearly be the easiest way out, for a change. Maybe for the first time in his life.

“We didn’t want you to find out this way,” Ellie said in a soothing tone. “But now that you’re here, you need to know the truth.”

Tyler already had his arms crossed, and now he
took a step backward. The boy’s scowl deepened, if that were possible, Buck thought.

“Julie is your…uh…” Buck tried his best, but he couldn’t choke out the word. He turned his gaze to Ellie, pleading silently for her to finish his sentence.

“Julie is your birth mother.” Ellie’s words came out in a rush of air, one on top of the other.

Time seemed to stand still as Tyler absorbed the news. Suspecting was one thing. Hearing it out loud was another thing entirely. Tyler shook his head slowly from side to side, still in slow motion; at least it felt that way to Buck.

“No.” The young man’s hands came abruptly down to his sides in fists. The single word was quiet, the protest uttered through Tyler’s clenched teeth. The boy slid his gaze from face to face, his eyes narrowing until they rested on Buck.

“No!” Tyler exclaimed, louder this time. He smashed his now-open palm into the back of an empty chair, which slapped violently against the table before it teetered and fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

Howling in fury, Tyler swung on his heels and dashed through the back door and out of the house. Buck watched him go, too dazed to do anything but look. His heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces.

“Well,” Ellie said on a sigh, “that’s about what we expected, isn’t it?”

Ellie squeezed Buck’s hand again, mumbling compassionate reassurances under her breath.

“Should I…Should I go after him?” Julie stammered hesitantly, tucking her short blond hair behind her ears.

Buck shook his head and then clamped a thumb and
forefinger over his temple, where a sudden headache had developed like a spring thunderstorm. He took a ragged breath. “No,” he said, groaning at the stabbing pain in his head. “I’ll do it.”

Ellie squeezed his hand again, and he lost himself for a moment in her compassionate gaze.

“Everything is going to be fine,” she reassured him, her voice low and even, though her hand was shaking.

Buck nodded, though he wasn’t the least bit sure
everything
would ever be fine again. He stood and jammed his cowboy hat on his head, pulling the front tip low over his brow, shading his gaze from the ladies.

Julie might not notice any change in his expression, but Ellie had a gift that way. She was sure to see the telltale moisture in his eyes, a weakness that he most desperately wanted to hide.

“Maybe you should give him a few minutes to cool down,” Ellie suggested kindly.

Buck nodded once again, short and clipped. “I’ll take my time getting down there. I need to pray about what I’m going to say, anyway.”

“You know where he’s going?” Julie asked, her eyebrows arching in surprise.

He chuckled, but it was a dead sound. He moved his gaze back to Ellie, who was nodding.

“I have a pretty good idea where to find him,” Buck informed his ex-wife.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t go with you?” Julie queried. “This is all my fault.”

“No,” Buck replied testily, and then he inhaled sharply. “I mean, I think it’s better if I talk to Tyler on my own first—to try to get him to see reason, you know?”

Julie cringed. Ellie reached across the table to pat Julie’s shoulder, a comforting gesture Buck wished was meant for him and not his ex-wife. That Ellie was here at all was a show of just how deep her faith ran and how strong her character was.

Buck loved Ellie more in that moment than he thought possible. He silently thanked God again for his second chance with Ellie and prayed the present circumstances hadn’t ruined everything. He tipped his hat to the ladies and exited through the back door, the way Tyler had gone.

Buck
did
know where Tyler had gone—at least he thought he did. His mind flashed back to the first day here on Ellie’s ranch, the day Tyler had helped Ellie deliver the little colt that now belonged to him. It only made sense, didn’t it, for Tyler to find solace in the company of the horses he loved so much?

Still, Buck took his time, scuffling slowly down the hill and toward the stable, in no hurry to confront his angry son, even though he knew it needed to be done, and he was the one to do it. His own heart was still rocking from Julie’s betrayal, though the years—and his new relationship with Ellie—eased that pain somewhat.

But for Tyler, this was all new.

His son had been too young to really remember his mother. It pained Buck to speak of Julie, so he hadn’t, brushing off young Tyler’s questions about his mother until the boy no longer asked.

Buck scoffed and shook his head, though he was walking alone, with no one to see. Had he inadvertently made things worse for his son?

As Buck ambled down the hill, he noticed dust
rising from the corral. He had thought Tyler would be hiding in the stable, so he was surprised to see the boy out in plain sight, putting one of the horses through training motions.

Buck approached the corral quietly, leaning on the railing to watch his son in action. Tyler, his camel-colored hat as low over his brow as Buck’s own, didn’t seem to notice his advancement; or if he did, he didn’t let on that he knew Buck was there.

For a moment Buck let him be. Tyler would speak when he was ready.

Buck couldn’t help but smile as he watched his son work. Tyler had a rope halter over Sophie, the new colt’s dam. The boy was leading her around the stall, slowly letting out the lead as he turned, until the mare was trotting around the outer rim of the corral.

At her heels was Jet, gamboling around the corral, trying to keep up with his mother.

Pride welled up in Buck’s chest. Tyler had obviously been paying attention to Buck’s work with horses over the years. The boy instinctively knew that the first step in training the colt was to have him mimic his mother’s paces. Before Buck knew it, Tyler would be leading Jet around with a halter of his own.

Buck nodded enthusiastically as Tyler turned his direction. The boy ignored him and quickly turned his back on Buck, but Buck could hear Tyler encouraging the mare—and the colt—with soft, gentle nonsense words.

Dust flew as Tyler nudged the mare into a canter. The colt, confused by the sudden change of velocity and unable to keep up with his mother, bucked and
pawed at the ground in the center of the corral. Buck chuckled at the little horse’s antics, especially when Jet began nosing his muzzle into Tyler’s side, under his arm, near the chest pocket of his flannel shirt, where, Buck guessed, Tyler had stashed some sugar cubes.

At the sound of Buck’s laugh, Tyler froze, still turned away from his father. The mare continued galloping around the corral, but Tyler no longer held her in check with the lead, which was dangling loosely. His hands were once again curled into fists, and Buck thought he saw his son’s shoulders quivering.

Crying?

Buck couldn’t blame Tyler for his tears, but it sure broke his heart to see his son in so much pain. Buck had never been one to cotton to the old “Real men don’t cry” adage, which his own father had pushed on him, even if he himself had serious issues with expressing emotion.

“Son,” he called over the clamor of the horses’ hooves. “Tyler. Are you okay?”