Hold Me Close (14 page)

Maggie filled her day working at the bar, which was busy enough to keep thoughts of Shane and their date at bay. Was it really a date? Sure, the end goal was having sex, but dating was for people who needed to get to know each other. She and Shane knew almost everything about each other.

Was there a point to dating?

She thought about Shane’s playfulness the night before at work. Yeah, dating was definitely worth it. The flirting kept her hot and bothered since their make-out session days ago. She debated getting all dressed up for the date, but decided against it. Shane didn’t need her to pretend to try to impress him, just like she didn’t expect him to put on an act.

They were always just Shane and Maggie.

After her shift, she changed into a pair of comfy sweats and worked on her portfolio while she waited for Shane to call. Once she knew where they were going and what they were doing, she could decide on an appropriate outfit. What she hadn’t counted on was for him to show up at her door unannounced.

She opened the door to see him freshly showered and smelling wonderful. He glanced down at her clothes.

Self-consciously running a hand over her hair, as if it could change her appearance, she said, “I figured you’d call and tell me where we’re going. I can change fast.”

She opened the door and he walked in. “No, you look comfortable. I was just thinking a movie and maybe a pizza from Sorrentino’s.”

Her stomach grumbled at the talk of pizza. “I’m still a little underdressed even for Sorrentino’s.”

“If you’d prefer to stay in, we can. It’s up to you.”

Maggie weighed her options. Staying in with Shane would be like any other night they hung out. It wouldn’t feel like a date. That would probably be for the best. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

“You’re the one who seems to have some master plan I haven’t been clued into. I wouldn’t want to mess with it.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the living room. “Where we eat dinner has no impact on the plan.”

So, he did have a plan. Somehow, Maggie found this funny. Shane never struck her as the kind of guy to come up with a schedule for seduction. She wondered what other surprises he might present.

His thumb stroked along her hand. “How was work?”

“Busy, which was good, but I’m glad I have tomorrow off.”

“You have Sorrentino’s number so we can order?”

She pulled her phone out. “I should probably have them on speed dial.”

For the next few hours, they chatted about work and watched a movie while they ate pizza. Shane sat close on the couch, keeping his arm around her shoulder and his thigh brushing hers. The hand on her shoulder toyed with her hair. She wasn’t sure how much was part of his plan, but it sure felt good.

This was a major portion of what she missed most about being with a guy. This kind of casual closeness.

When the movie ended, anticipation curled through Maggie. She didn’t have to wait long, however, for Shane to make a move. He leaned close and kissed her cheek. “Tired?”

“Not particularly,” she whispered.

“Good.” His breath caressed her cheek as he spoke. His lips trailed along her jaw across to her ear and down her neck. As his tongue circled the skin over her thundering pulse, her eyes fluttered closed.

He moved gently and slowly. Her breath came quick as he stroked down the side of her body and then back up to cup her boob. Woo-hoo! Second base. She arched into his hand, inviting him to continue, hoping he’d round third any time now. This was where he’d stopped last time. She almost whimpered at the thought.

Her nipples ached, and the slight pinch he offered just increased her need for more. She pushed him back against the couch and climbed onto his lap, straddling him. Stretching her thighs wide, she pressed down on him, his hard-on stiff against her. He groaned in her mouth as she returned to kissing him. She rocked against him, hot and wet.

Suddenly she was flipped on her back and Shane hovered over her. Her heart practically beat out of her chest. This. This was what she craved.

But his eyes widened. He stood and held his hand out for her. She took it without question. They were going to do this. She was finally going to have sex. It might not be her exact fantasy, but it would be sex.

He led her to her bedroom. He walked through the dark room like he knew exactly where everything was and flicked on the bedside lamp. While he fiddled with that, she eased the door closed and twisted the lock.

She turned and waited as he came to her. His arm circled her waist and his hand landed on her hip, drawing her closer to his body. He kissed her again, but kept it short. Brushing her hair off her shoulder, he kissed her neck, sending a shiver through her. When he swirled his tongue below her ear, her knees threatened to buckle.

“I think we need to get naked.” The words left her lips a little more raspy with need than she would’ve liked, but they were out there. She took a half step back and pulled her shirt over her head, hoping he’d take over.

Instead, he followed suit. So she continued. She dropped her pants and stood in front of him in her bra and panties, almost wishing she’d planned something sexy. Shane slid his jeans to the floor, and judging by the bulge in his boxers, her underwear had no negative impact.

He pulled her close again. This time, the hand that wrapped around her edged up her back, and with a flick of his fingers, he released her bra. With his lips on her neck, he reached between them and pulled the bra away.

And then it happened. The unthinkable at this point. Her stomach turned and her heart stammered, and not in a good way.

Crap. Not now. Not again. This is
right.

She had no idea what she’d done, but Shane froze. His lips pulled away from her skin. Skin that now felt clammy. His hand that had been making a slow journey down the side of her body halted. She didn’t want him to stop. She reached out to touch his bare chest, but her fingers trembled.

Shane stepped away. “What is it?”

Her throat clogged and tears burned her eyes. She couldn’t talk, so she shook her head. Trying to swallow, she willed her throat to work. Her diaphragm wobbled inside as if caught in a storm of hiccups.

Shane took another step back. She couldn’t look at him. She stared at her feet, flexing and relaxing her fingers repeatedly, waiting for the wave to pass. In her peripheral vision, she caught movement. Shane stood close again, holding her shirt. He slipped it over her head and she forced her arms through.

“It’s okay, Maggie. We’ll figure this out.”

She pressed her cheek to his chest and let the first tear fall. One hand fisted against his skin. Anger crashed through her, causing more tears.

“Do you want me to leave?”

She shook her head as best she could without lifting it.

“Come on.” He pulled her toward the bed and he sat down. He welcomed her to sit not quite on his lap, but more between his legs.

She curled against him but beat back the remaining tears. She’d cried enough. Shane’s hand stroked down her back, comforting her like he always had.

“Are you ready to talk?”

She hiccupped and snorted. “What’s there to talk about? I’m never going to have sex again.”

“I said we’ll figure this out and I meant it.”

“Don’t you get it? I’m horny. I want to have sex.”

“Then what happened?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know. It’s not a thought. It’s not even a feeling.” She inhaled slowly. “It’s like a sudden wave crashes over me and I’m stuck.”

He shifted beneath her and the realization hit her that she was lying on what would’ve been his hard-on if she hadn’t ruined it.

“Are you sure you really want this?”

“Uh, yeah.”

His hand stopped its rhythm on her back and rested in place. “I’m asking if maybe your head has it built up as something you want, but your body doesn’t agree.”

Her panties were still wet. Her clit throbbed. She swallowed.

“You promised to be honest here, Maggie.”

“I know what it feels like to be turned on. Just because I haven’t had sex with a guy doesn’t mean I haven’t . . . you know.”

A quiet laugh rumbled in his chest. “Jilled off? Flicked the bean?”

She slapped his chest. “See, that’s why we don’t have conversations like this. You sound like a thirteen-year-old.”

He kissed the top of her head. “So you can self-service with success.”

“Sounds much better.” She took a breath. “After last time, I wanted to self-service, but since you commanded me not to, I didn’t. But overall, I guess I have some modicum of success.”

“That needs explanation. Either you come or you don’t. There’s no
modicum
.”

She sighed and searched for the words. “I’m able to orgasm, but it’s not the lights-behind-the-eyes, thighs-trembling, heart-racing, hips jumping-off-the-bed kind of orgasm.”

She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with Shane. It wasn’t even all that difficult.

“Show me.”

She jumped away, and for the first time since he’d stripped away her bra, she looked at him. “What?” She was surprised the word came out, because her throat was so damn tight.

“Shhh.” He took her shoulders, turned her, and pulled her back toward him. “You said you’re horny. Show me how you take care of yourself.”

“I can’t do that. Not with you watching.” Could she? She’d never done that with anyone else in the room.

His hands skated down her arms. Nothing overtly sexual in the touch, but his work-roughened palms reignited an itch deep below her skin. The whisper at her ear caused a heat wave to roll through her. “My way, Maggie. You agreed to my way.”

He reversed the path of his hands, stopping when they reached the short sleeve of her shirt. “Close your eyes and pretend I’m not here.”

As if that was even in the realm of possibilities while the heat from his chest seared into her back. But she closed her eyes and brought back the feelings she’d had when he first kissed her. If nothing else, she wanted to reclaim that. Now it was her turn to let her hands roam. Instead of moving over her own soft skin, she touched his thighs, the crisp hair tickling her palms.

His body was warm at her back. His strong muscles surrounded her, making her feel safe.

With her eyes closed, she didn’t bother with a fantasy. She conjured memories of Shane kissing her in the living room, pulling her close in the bedroom, his tongue on her neck. She wanted it there again.

She pulled her hair away from her right shoulder, baring her neck. As she pushed her hand beneath the waistband of her panties, she whispered, “Kiss me,” and tilted her head to give him access.

Her middle finger skimmed along her slit. Shane’s lips touched the side of her neck, followed by his tongue, wet and warm. She bent her knees and pushed inside herself. Using her own wetness, she circled her clit.

She pretended Shane wasn’t watching her every move, that his body wasn’t against her back, that his hard dick wasn’t pressing into her spine. The rhythm she created was familiar, almost comforting.

Shane didn’t touch her, other than his mouth on her neck and shoulder. But as her fingers went up her shirt and pinched her nipple, she imagined it being his hand. He was no longer Shane, her best friend. He was now Shane, hot guy who made her horny. She picked up the pace and wiggled her hips in jerky movements. Tension coiled low and built.

She was almost there and she wanted that orgasm more than anything at the moment, but it felt like it was just out of reach. Her breath caught and she forged on, determined to come. To get some relief.

Her brain and body begged for more. She whimpered. She wanted him to take over, make this happen for her. Resentment bubbled up because he didn’t fix it. She hated that she’d fucked up and scared him off. She was ready to give up.

CHAPTER 10

M
aggie lay cradled between his thighs, half naked and masturbating. He’d always known she was sexy, but this took amazing to a whole new level.

Shane’s dick had never hurt more in his life than it did right now. He was so hard he couldn’t imagine why Maggie’s back wasn’t in pain. She continued to press into him, her hand making jerky movements in her panties, her breaths coming in quick little pants. She was close, but she was rushing it, like she had to hurry to get to the finish line.

The smell of her arousal filled the air, and he tensed to stop himself from flipping her over and satisfying his own needs.

He needed to touch her, remind her he was there, part of this. He reached out with a trembling hand, fear rushing though him as a reminder that he might push too hard and screw this up. Hurting her would tear him apart.

He brushed his fingers on her arm to gauge her reaction. She kept going, so he stretched his arm along hers until his hand lay on top of hers in her underwear. His intrusion hadn’t interrupted her rhythm. With his hand over hers, he slowed the pace. She whimpered and thrust her hips.

Kissing her neck again, he took note that her eyes remained closed. He briefly wondered where her mind was, but ultimately he didn’t care. She was here with him, trusting him with this. His teeth grazed her skin and he nibbled on her earlobe. A slight shudder ran through her.

His free arm circled her waist, keeping her close. Holding her in place, he reached beneath her shirt, following along her other hand, and found her nipple. Her fingers had stopped moving and she allowed him to take over, rolling her hard nipple between his thumb and finger.

Her head lolled against his shoulder in surrender. Her hips rolled up to meet his attention, and she pulled her hand out from under his, leaving him to continue alone. She raised her left arm up behind her and held his head while her right hand braced against his thigh.

She licked her lips, and it was the hottest fucking sight he’d ever laid eyes on. She was slick and hot. Blood pounded through him. With two fingers inside her, he pressed against her clit with his thumb and her back arched up. Moaning, she scrambled both away from him and toward him.

He released her nipple and clamped down on her waist. As soon as he did it, he feared she’d freeze up.

“Please.”

He loosened his grip a fraction. “Do you need me to stop?”

Her hips continued their frantic movement, and she swung her head side to side.

“I need to hear it, Maggie.”

“No, God, no. Don’t stop. Please.” The hand on his thigh slapped down hard and her fingers pressed into his flesh, nails biting.

He gave her enough room to buck and writhe, but he held her and moved with her from behind, his cock so hard it was invincible.

Her inner muscles squeezed his fingers and he knew she was there. Maggie, however, seemed to be caught off guard. Her entire body stiffened, and she clutched at his neck behind her. He continued to stroke her and kiss her as she broke. Her body shuddered and her thighs trembled between his.

Although he had no idea what was going on behind her closed eyelids, he got no small amount of male satisfaction of feeling the tremors run through her.

As her body calmed, he removed his fingers but kept his hand in place, covering her. Her arms relaxed and slid away from him. He figured that was his cue to get out of her pants. After a minute more of heavy breathing, she covered her face. “Oh, my God,” she mumbled from behind her fingers.

Crap. Now he was going to have to deal with her being embarrassed? “Maggie.” He tugged her hands away.

She turned and her face was filled with happiness. “That was so fucking amazing. Thank you.” She leaned forward and kissed him hard. “Thank you. Thank you.”

He smiled as she moved back. “I take it it was good for you.”

She swatted at him again. “You know it was. It was like somewhere deep in my memory, I knew it could be that good, but I haven’t, you know, not on my own.” Her face scrunched up then. “But you . . .” She waved in the general area of his still hard dick.

“I’m fine.” Which was a total lie.

She reached out. “We can try—”

He pressed his back against the pillows behind him and held up a hand. “Don’t touch me.” Her face looked more confused. “Trust me. I’ll just embarrass myself at this point. Plus, you don’t owe me anything. This was about you.”

“I know, but . . . It wasn’t sex. It was a truly phenomenal orgasm, but it wasn’t sex.”

He moved his legs around her and swung them over the side of the bed. “I am completely aware of what that was. I told you we’d do this my way and it would take time.”

Time that might kill him given how much his cock hurt. He walked stiffly to the bathroom. As much as he wanted to jerk off right now in front of her, to show her the effect she had on him, he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want her to feel any pressure.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.” He flipped on the bathroom light and locked the door. He eased his boxers down to free his dick. His hand was still a little wet from Maggie, and he stroked himself. With his eyes closed, he imagined her in his arms, begging for release. Her soft skin gliding along his inner thighs. He braced a hand on the wall and rubbed himself until he spurted, which didn’t take long at all.

He groaned with the release and then had to sit on the toilet to regain his composure, his ability to think and move, every fucking thing. After cleaning up, he went back to her bedroom, dick still noticeably hard in his boxers.

He sat on the edge of the bed and asked the question that worried him. “Do you want me to go home?”

“No.” She scooted over and moved the blanket out of the way to make room for him.

When he lay down, she stared at his dick.

“Ignore it. It’ll go away.”

“You sure?” she asked, like she didn’t believe him.

“I’m sure.” He reached over and clicked off the light. His eyes adjusted to the dark. The moon filtered through the sheer curtains and her eyes glinted. He reached over and smoothed her hair along her ear. “Are you okay?”

“Amazing.” She turned her face and kissed his palm. “Do you have to work tomorrow?”

“It’s Saturday. I don’t usually work weekends. That’s why I planned to come over here tonight to seduce you.”

She giggled. “Ordering in pizza for dinner and watching a chick flick was your seduction? I always thought you had better game than that.”

“It did the job, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, it sure did.” She tucked her hands between her cheek and the pillow and stared at him.

It wasn’t really awkward, but it wasn’t them either. This was new territory, a place where he’d longed to be. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. “Go to sleep,” he whispered.

She smiled and turned over, giving him the chance to curl up behind her and spoon her body. He hesitated, wanting nothing more than to hold her all night but unsure of how it would affect their relationship.

A few minutes later, she asked, “Did you close the door?”

“Yeah.”

She heaved a sigh and got out of bed. She put her palm flat against the door, which he had, in fact, closed. After climbing back into bed and curling up next to him, she said, “Sorry. It bothers me if it swings around at night.”

“Okay.”

When they’d slept together in the past, they’d both been fully clothed and stayed on their own side of the bed. Now, he reached out and curled an arm around her waist, tucking her against the curve of his body. She settled in like it was the most natural fit.

She interlocked her fingers with his over her stomach. “I’m glad you came over tonight.”

“So am I.” He kissed the back of her head and focused on sleep. Her scent lingered in the air, making promises of what was to come. There was no way he could ever look at her again as just a friend.

Maggie woke in the morning, her body still completely relaxed. Before opening her eyes, she reveled in the comfort of orgasm afterglow. Then she reached behind her and realized Shane was gone. He’d said he didn’t have to work today, but he was gone.

The idea that what they’d done would make things weird between them hit her again. She didn’t want things to get weird, and last night Shane seemed totally fine. Except for the raging hard-on. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and, in doing so, noticed her bedroom door cracked open.

A surge of panic struck, but she took a slow breath to push it down. Of course the door was open. How else would Shane have gotten out? He probably just forgot to close it again.

As she stood, determined to squash the anxiety, she heard a noise, movement somewhere else in the apartment, and the panic returned twofold.

Her heart leaped into her throat and she scrambled to find her pepper spray on the dresser. She turned the nozzle on and edged toward the door, to quietly close it. Silently, she placed her fingertips on the edge of the wood, and met with force.

“Good morning, beautiful. I have coffee,” Shane said as he muscled through the doorway.

Maggie jumped back from the door with a scream. All she heard was the thundering in her ears. Her hands shook and she dropped her canister.

“Whoa. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you were still asleep.”

Maggie dragged air in, but her lungs wouldn’t fill. She grabbed at her shirt on her chest. In her peripheral vision, she saw Shane set coffee on the dresser. She took a step back and waved him off.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she bent over and focused on breathing. She closed her eyes and counted. She was safe. She knew where she was and who she was with. She was safe.

She eased her eyes open to see Shane squatting in front of her, his hands out like he wanted to touch her but was afraid. “I’m okay.” Her voice was still a little weak, but she was able to talk. “I just got scared. I thought you’d left and then I heard noise.”

“Oh, Christ, Maggie. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think.” He reached tentatively and set his hand on her forearm. His eyes were filled with pain.

“You don’t need to apologize. You had no idea.”
Because I didn’t tell you.
She remembered a similar incident with Ian in Ireland. Not only hadn’t he apologized, but he’d had a good laugh over it. Not that she could really blame him either.

Her nerves began to settle and her breathing returned to normal. She was so tired of this shit. What she wouldn’t give to be normal again. She stood, almost knocking Shane on his ass in the process. He stumbled to catch his footing, so she held out a hand to help him up.

He grabbed hold, but then they both lost their balance and she tumbled on top of him. A fit of laughter ensued, and she braced a palm on his bare chest to push herself up. “You did that on purpose.”

“I did not. Why would I want you to fall on me?”

“To make me laugh.”

He smirked but didn’t deny her accusation. This time when she held her hand out he allowed her to pull him up off the floor. He handed her one of the cups from the dresser. “You want to tell me about it?”

She raised her eyebrows and thought about dodging it, but she knew it wouldn’t work with Shane. “I heard noise and panic hit me.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

She took a mouthful of coffee and debated how to answer. “The panic? Not often. And I can usually control it. This was bad because it caught me off guard. I wasn’t prepared to hear noise in my apartment.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Finish your coffee. We need to get going.”

The sudden change in topic startled her. “Going where?”

“I have a plan. Something fun.” He drank from his cup.

“What if I already have plans today?”

“Do you?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, but what if I did?”

He stepped closer, his bare stomach brushed against her arm. His skin was warm. He leaned over and kissed her head. “Then I would have to beg you to break them to spend the day with me.”

She didn’t have a smart-ass remark for a response. In fact, she had no response at all. Something was different between them this morning, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. He gulped the remainder of his coffee and scooped up his pants from the night before.

“I’ll go to my place to shower and change. I’ll be back in a few.” He turned to walk away, but looked over his shoulder. “Will you be ready?”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope. But dress warm.”

He walked out of her bedroom, set his cup on the kitchen counter, and paused to tug on his pants. She followed as he walked out of the apartment and locked up behind him. She leaned against the closed door and sipped her coffee.

She felt like she was trapped in her own personal cloud of fog. As much as she feared things being weird between her and Shane, he acted almost as though nothing had changed.