Holding a Tender Heart (18 page)

Bishop Beiler's gaze swept over the ministers' bench. “If the ordained brethren will now take the voice of the church, we can proceed with this matter.”

Both ministers and Deacon Mast got up at once and began moving among the benches to ask each member if they agreed to the actions being taken. Men leaned toward the ministers and deacon and whispered in their ears. The women did likewise. Most didn't take long, although a few of the men did. They were the ones who were usually longwinded in any response. It was their chance to exercise church authority, and they made the most of it.

Some men were like that, Verna knew, but she couldn't imagine Joe would act in such a manner. He was much too kind and tenderhearted. In front of her, Deacon Mast moved down the unmarried girls' bench. His head went up and down like Emery's fishing bobber on late-summer afternoons down by the creek. As he drew closer, each girl whispered her line at lightning speed. Deacon Mast looked mighty uncomfortable surrounded by all these females even though he had four daughters of his own.

Verna managed to mutter her line once Deacon Mast arrived in front of her. “I have no objections with the solution the ministry has presented,” she said. The deacon was gone a second later, and he finished within minutes. Deacon Mast circled back, and joined the other two ministers on the front bench. Verna took a deep breath. The vote hadn't taken that long, and now the moment she dreaded was here.

Bishop Beiler leaned over and motioned for Deacon Mast's report. The deacon cleared his throat. “I found no objections to our proposal from any of the sisters or from the men I questioned.”

Bishop Beiler nodded. Minister Kanagy was next. He was a short, thin, nervous young man. “I found few objections. Most of the members were in full agreement with the counsel of the ministry.
One brother did wish that things concerning Henry Yoder could be handled a little more discreetly. It seemed inappropriate to him that an
Englisha
should have learned about a church problem. But the brother said he would agree with the action we took.”

The bishop looked irritated by the rebuke, but he motioned for the next minister to report.

Verna realized her
daett
knew he was pushing a church boundary when he involved the
Englisha
, but she knew he must have done so for a very good reason. What that was, Verna couldn't imagine. Did it have anything to do with Henry's view of Joe? Was
Daett
concerned enough about her relationship with Joe to take a risk? If Henry had thrown a fit and refused to make the confession, his complaint against Joe might have been more difficult to clear up. The involvement of the
Englisha
neighbor might have shamed Henry into cooperation.

Verna turned her attention back to the ministers. Minister Graber, a thick, heavy-set man with a high-pitched voice, was in the middle of his report. Verna's thoughts wandered back to her
daett
and Henry Yoder's
Englisha
neighbor. Could
Daett
really have taken that risk for her? Did he care that she was growing older and had few marriage prospects? How
wunderbah
that would be to have his support. And why couldn't it be true?
Daett
was kindhearted enough even under the weight of his church duties. Maybe
Mamm
's talks with him in private had been effective. Either way, this might be the most comforting thing to happen today, and Verna needed something to soothe her soul. With
Daett
on her side, she had so much more hope for the future.

Minster Graber concluded his remarks, and Verna realized she had no idea what he'd said. Had everyone agreed to the ministry's course of action?

Daett
was on his feet. “We thank all of you for participating in this important church activity. As for the several concerns that were brought up about the
Englisha
neighbor's involvement, I can assure
you we will not be doing this as a normal practice. We proceeded on that issue with Henry's knowledge and with the hope that it would help him. That is all I have to say on the matter. Deacon Mast, you may now call in the two men.”

Deacon Mast stood up, walked down the aisle, and disappeared outside. He returned within minutes with Henry and Joe in tow. The deacon sat on the bench by the ministers, and the two men sat down on a bench in front of them, facing the people.

Bishop Beiler approached the two men. “The vote of the church has been taken. We are in agreement with the measures we have spoken to you about. You may make your confessions now.”

Henry went first and spoke rapidly. “I confess before
Da Hah
and His church that I have failed. I beg their forgiveness and commit myself to walk in repentance and humility free from further transgressions on this matter.”

“It is granted,” Bishop Beiler said. His gaze moved to Joe.

Joe spoke slower and kept his head bowed.

Verna pinched herself to keep her sobs inside.

When Joe was done and the bishop had accepted his confession, the church members were dismissed.

Verna waited for a moment to calm herself and then headed toward the kitchen. She stole a glance at the bench in front where Joe had been seated, but he was gone. In spite of her surge of hope earlier, it was likely that Joe was gone from her life. But she mustn't think such negative thoughts.
Daett
had been kind to her. He had possibly taken great risks for her benefit, so she must not despair. There must be something she could do to reach Joe. If he wouldn't come to her, then perhaps she should make the first move. But what could that be? She'd already tried everything usually allowed Amish women.

Deacon Mast's
frau
, Susie, appeared in front of her. Verna jumped.

“Sorry,” Susie said and smiled. “I didn't mean to scare you, but we need help with the tables.”

“That's okay,” Verna replied as an idea flashed through her mind. “I'll help with the unmarried boys' table.”

Susie nodded with appreciation. Not many girls volunteered for the task of waiting on the boys' tables—not with the teases they usually had to endure.

Susie pointed toward the stair door. “Head right that way.”

Verna didn't waste any time. She went into the kitchen, grabbed several bowls of peanut butter, and with weak knees went down the basement steps. Her
daett
's voice rang out, calling for the first prayer. She waited at the bottom of the stairs until he finished.

“Well, well, service already!” Paul Wagler, the greatest tease of the unmarrieds, announced her presence. “Aren't we all special today? Usually we have to holler our heads off to get any attention down here.”

“Consider yourself spoiled rotten today!” Verna shot back with a good-natured smile.

Everyone joined Paul in raucous laughter except Joe, who was seated at the other end. He didn't even look up. Verna sidled that way, placing peanut butter bowls down the table. The boys in her wake got busy smearing peanut butter on their bread. Perhaps if she hung around Joe would eventually look up. She didn't dare go up to him and speak.

“And what does the charming young Beiler girl have on her list for tonight?” Paul hollered in her direction.

“I'm certainly not going home with you!” she snapped.

Paul bent over with laughter, obviously enjoying the moment.

He was such a flirt, Verna thought, but
gut
looking at that. Why he didn't settle down with some girl was anyone's guess. He'd dated a few once or twice, but he always cut off the relationship. Not that she'd ever felt any interest in being asked home by Paul. He would make someone a
gut
catch though.

“Listen to the girl's brave words,” Paul said now that he could breathe again. “That's spoken like a true bishop's daughter. Why is the young maiden still single, boys? Ask yourself that question.”

Before Verna could think of what to say, another man spoke up. “Why don't
you
answer that question, Paul?”

“Well, she might already be spoken for, if the truth were told,” Paul retorted before joining in the laughter again.

Verna studied Paul's handsome face as she tried to think of what to say. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Joe finally look her way. He didn't look displeased. Maybe Paul had done them both a favor with this public tease. And if Paul didn't think they'd broken up permanently, that must mean Joe hadn't told him they had. Paul was, after all, Joe's
gut
friend.

Verna sent Joe a quick smile. He dropped his eyes but hope rose higher in her heart. For the rest of the meal, Verna raced up and down the steps and served the table. She stood still when her
daett
called for prayer again and watched afterward as the unmarried boys filed up the basement steps. Not once did Joe glance at her again. Still, she'd hang on to what hope she had. There was nothing else to do.

Sixteen

O
n the first Sunday in June, the morning sun hung just above the horizon. Debbie rode in the single buggy with Verna seated on the other side. Lois sat in the middle with Buttercup's lines in her hands. Debbie could hardly believe she was finally going to attend her first Amish church service. For a moment she listened to the beats of horses' hooves all around her and her excitement grew. The great moment of adventure had arrived, and now it seemed like the whole community had come alive in the stillness of the early dawn.

Debbie took deep breaths of fresh air and pulled her shawl tighter over her shoulders. Lois and Verna didn't seem to mind the chill, but they were used to riding in a buggy. There was so much of the Amish life Debbie hadn't yet experienced even though she'd grown up so close to the Beilers. Attending a church service had been the most unlikely possibility. That was a line one didn't cross easily. It was a wonder now that Bishop Beiler was allowing her to attend. She'd asked him last night, and when he'd said
yah
Debbie's heart had raced in anticipation. For Bishop Beiler to allow her to visit surely meant he thought well of her. She'd tried so hard these past three weeks to fit in, and apparently her efforts were succeeding. After the decision last night, there had been a mad rush upstairs
with Lois to pick out a dress. She had tried on a few, accompanied this time by a few less giggles than the first attempt.

This morning Saloma had given her an approving look when she came downstairs. Debbie decided she'd still wear her regular dresses for work at Destiny, but from here on out on the weekends and evenings at the Beilers' she'd wear Amish clothes.

Her makeup kit had sat unopened these past weeks. Debbie's lack of adornment had provoked a few stares from Rhonda and Sally at work, but they soon got used to it. Debbie even wondered if she should drive to work in a buggy to fit her new lifestyle. She'd do it too if it weren't so far and impractical. If she arrived by buggy she'd at least have rosy cheeks. That glow would be better than any touch of makeup. She was sure of that.

Verna leaned back and spoke around Lois's back. “Are you cold, Debbie? There's extra blanket on my end. Just pull on it.”

“A little,” Debbie said as she drew the blanket tighter around her knees. “But it's okay. I'm enjoying the ride.”

Verna looked forward again. They heard the sound of a buggy coming up fast behind them, and soon it whirled past. The man inside leaned out with glee written on his face. He waved.

“He's got nerve, that man!” Lois snapped. “It's not even decent the way he acts.”

“Paul's his own character,” Verna muttered. “He means no harm.”

“Surely you're not after him now that Joe's no longer coming around?” There was alarm in Lois's voice. “Even
I
know enough to stay away from a boy like that.”

Verna sighed. “He was teasing me at church the other Sunday, and I can't say I didn't enjoy it. But I know better, Lois. He'd be a catch, but he gets over girls quickly. Believe me, I'm still waiting on Joe.”

“You poor girl!” Lois was all sympathy. “Well, be assured that I think highly of Joe—as far as Amish men go. Better than Paul Wagler at least.”

“Be decent, Lois, please.” Verna turned around to peer down the road as another buggy approached.