Holding On (8 page)

He kissed her again.

“But you still should have told me.”

“You’re right. I should have.”

“I don’t like secrets.”

He ran his fingers through her hair. “No more secrets.”

Chapter Ten

Daniel could hear his phone ringing as he walked toward his office.

“Hello?” he said, cradling the phone with his shoulder as he placed his briefcase on his desk.

“It’s me.” Marienne’s voice sounded funny.

“What’s wrong?” Daniel felt his hands grow cold.

“I want you to stay calm,” she said.

Oh my God.
“What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I have to go see the doctor this afternoon. I called the office because I had some spotting.”

Daniel glanced at his clock trying to remember the train schedule. “I’m coming home.” He refreshed his computer screen and pulled up the New Jersey Transit site.
Dammit, I’ll never make the next train.

“Daniel, relax. The nurse said not to panic, it was just a little spotting, and it seems to have stopped. If the doctor was worried they’d have told me to go to the hospital not the office.”

Daniel couldn’t tell if she was rationalizing to make him feel better or to reassure herself. Either way he wanted to be with her, as soon as possible. “That’s good that the doctor’s not worried, but I want to be there. What time is your appointment?”

“In about a half hour.”

I can’t be home that fast. Bugger.
“Take your cell phone with you and call me, please. Hopefully I’ll be half-way home by the time you actually see the doctor.”

“You can’t get home that fast. Don’t worry. I’m sure everything is fine. I feel fine.” She was trying to keep her voice steady but her pitch was off. He knew she was frightened, and it was killing him that he was so far away.

“I’m sure everything will be okay. I’ll call you as soon as I get on my way. Wait, who’s watching Ella?”

“Lynn will watch her.”

“Can she drive you to the doctor’s office?”

“I’m fine to drive.”

“Are you sure? You could call a taxi.” He Googled Taxi Highland Park.

“I’m positive. I’m okay.”

“Well if you change your mind call a taxi. There’s cash in my top desk drawer. I’ll be home as soon as I can.” He grabbed his briefcase and checked the clock again, wondering how long it would take to rent a car.

“Be careful coming home.”

“You be careful too. I love you.” His voice shook on the last words.

“I love you, too.”

He could tell she was about to cry. He didn’t want to hang up but he didn’t want to wait any longer before he started trying to get to her. “I’ll see you soon.”

Daniel ran across the hall to Christina’s office. She was in a student meeting; he could hear her talking. He knocked on her door.

“Come in.”

He opened the door and leaned in. A thin young woman peered up at him. Christina’s eyebrows rose.

“Sorry to interrupt. Do you have the number of that car service you used to get to the airport?”

“Sure.” She reached toward the box next to her desk and started sorting through business cards. “What’s up?” She found the card and held it out toward him.

He leaned over to take it. “Thanks. Uh, nothing. Marienne’s off to the doctor and I want to head home.”

“Excuse us for a second, Laura. I’ll be right back.” Christina ushered him into the hallway and closed her door. “Are you okay? You’re pale as a ghost.”

“Marienne had some spotting, and the doctor wants to see her. I just missed a train and there’s not another for an hour. I want to get home as quickly as possible.”

“Okay. Relax. Let’s call them. Maybe they can send someone. That ought to get you home quicker than the train.”

Daniel nodded. His mind raced as he calculated driving time. He checked his watch again. It felt as if hours had passed but it had only been a few minutes since Marienne’s phone call. Christina plucked the card out of his fingers and dialed the number.

“Yes, hi, this is Christina Whipple, I was wondering if you had any drivers available to go from Washington Square Park to New Brunswick, New Jersey, today.”

She paused. Daniel rubbed his forehead.
What if the spotting gets worse? Is she developing placenta previa again? Is this early labor?
What if the baby is born now?
He counted in his head.
Thirty-two weeks. That’s still very premature. What about complications?

“Fifteen minutes?” Christina looked at Daniel.

He nodded. “Yes.”
That should get me home within an hour.

Two and a half hours later Daniel was still in the backseat of the Lincoln Town Car. They’d sat in the Holland Tunnel for well over an hour, moving barely an inch at a time.

With no cell reception.

Now they were finally cruising down the Turnpike, but Marienne’s cell phone was going straight to voice mail, and there was no answer at the house. He called information to find the doctor’s number. As the computerized voice was reciting the information, a call beeped through.

Daniel clicked over immediately. “Hello?” He held his breath.

“Where are you?” Marienne asked.

“I’m on the Turnpike, near Woodbridge. Where are you? What did the doctor say?”

“The doctor thinks everything is okay. I haven’t had any more spotting, and she couldn’t find any signs of a problem. She had me on the fetal monitor for almost an hour and she did an ultrasound. The placenta looks fine.”

Thank God.
Daniel finally let himself breathe. “Did she say anything else? What does she think happened?”

“She didn’t know. I guess sometimes women spot, and it’s no big deal. She said to watch closely for a few days to make sure it doesn’t happen again. No lifting. Take it easy.”

“Yes, absolutely. You need to rest.”

“Why are you on the Turnpike? You took the train today.”

“I was attempting to get home faster by hiring a car service but we wound up spending a year in the tunnel.”

“You didn’t need to do that. I told you it was probably nothing.”

“Well, I’m glad you were right. I’ll see you in about ten minutes.”

****

Marienne felt bad that Daniel had tried to rush home, but she was glad he would be there any minute. Although she hadn’t told him, she’d been terrified when she’d found the blood. All she wanted was for him to be there to hold her hand and tell her everything would be all right. She’d gotten used to him going to all the doctor’s appointments with her, and she missed him terribly.

The doctor had been thorough and very reassuring. Watching the baby’s heart rate on the monitor and seeing it move around on the sonogram had put her mind at ease. Plus there was no sign of bleeding.

“A tiny bit of spotting can come from numerous causes. Broken capillaries, hormonal surge. You’re not dilating. Your cervix looks good. The placenta is intact. I don’t see cause for concern.”

Marienne repeated her words over and over until they sunk in—
I don’t see cause for concern
. She opened her purse and took out the image the doctor had printed out from the sonogram. She couldn’t wait to show it to Daniel. It was much clearer than the earlier sonogram picture they had. She could see the complete profile, tiny nose, tiny hand raised to the mouth.

She rubbed her belly. “We’ll show Daddy your new picture as soon as he gets home.”

No sooner did she speak than she heard a car pull into the driveway. She smiled as the baby thumped a reply. “Yes, he’s here.”

She met Daniel at the door.

He wrapped his arms around her, giving her the hug she’d been wanting for hours. She relaxed against him, feeling the tension ebb out of her.

“Why are you standing? Go sit down.” The worry in his voice made her smile.

“I’m allowed to stand.” She reached behind his neck and brought his mouth to hers. “I’m okay. We’re okay.” She placed his hand against her tummy and the baby kicked on command. “See?”

Daniel closed his eyes and sighed. He bent and kissed her belly. His eyes met hers, still dark with concern. He stroked her hair and leaned his forehead against hers.

“Come on.” She took his hand. “We have something to show you.” She led him into the kitchen and handed him the sonogram. She heard his breath catch as he looked at it. His face brightened as he studied the image. “I wish you could have seen it, the baby was moving the whole time. The doctor said it’s sucking its thumb.”

“Hungry already?” Daniel still hadn’t taken his eyes off the paper.

“Just like Daddy.”

He looked up and smiled. “Hey, why are you still standing? I thought the doctor told you to rest.”

“Fine.” She sighed. “She didn’t say bed rest. She just said rest.” She lowered herself into a kitchen chair.

“Are you drinking enough? You want a glass of water? Milk?”

“Water.” She didn’t want him fussing, but she knew it was pointless to say no. He needed to do something and hovering made him feel useful. She loved the fact that he tried to take care of everything. She watched as he got a glass, filled it with water and opened the freezer. He dropped ice cubes into the glass then took a seat next to her at the kitchen table.

“Here.” He handed her the glass then patted his leg. “Put your feet up.”

She lifted her legs onto his lap and sipped her water. He rubbed her feet and she closed her eyes. “I’m sorry you had to take a car home. That must have been really expensive.”

“I just wish it had gotten me here faster. I was going mad stuck in the back of the car. Would have been quicker had I taken the train but I didn’t want to wait an hour for the next one.”

“I’m sorry I got you so worried.”

“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything. I’m the one who’s sorry. You needed me, and I wasn’t here.” He looked into her eyes, his long fingers still working over one of her feet.

“I still need you. And you’re here now. That’s all that matters.” She closed her eyes again. “And you’re making my feet feel wonderful.”

He shifted in his chair and began massaging her other foot.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmm. I love the things you do with your hands.” She smiled as she felt him harden under her calf. “Is it good for you too?” She bent her knee, sliding a foot along his crotch.

“Hey.” He put his hand on her ankle to stop her, but she curled her toes against him and he groaned. “I’m fairly certain the doctor didn’t list sex as one of your home care activities.”

“Actually, she did say no penetration.” Marienne frowned. “But she said we could do other things.”

Daniel’s eyes widened. “Oh really. What exactly did she recommend?”

Marienne giggled. “Petting.”

“She did not.”

“Swear to God. She said no intercourse, petting is fine, orgasms are safe.”

Daniel’s mouth hung open, and he shook his head. “My doctor never suggests anything fun.” He bit his lip. “So, we can pretend we’re in high school, and you’re the good girl who won’t go all the way….”

“The fat, pregnant good girl who won’t go all the way?”

“You’re not fat. But I see your point about the pregnant bit. How about the bad girl who’s trying to change her ways and won’t go all the way….”

“Ooo, that sounds promising.” The ringing phone interrupted them.

Daniel reached behind him and grabbed it. “It’s Lynn.” He handed it to Marienne.

“Hi Lynn. You ready for us to get Ella?”

“I can drop her off,” Lynn said.

“That’s okay, we can get her. Daniel’s home now.”

“Oh, good. Whatever you want. She’s fine. They’re all watching TV. I think they’re tired from the park.”

Daniel patted her leg. “I’ll go, then I’ll pick up something for dinner.”

“Daniel said he’ll come over in a few minutes. Thanks again for taking her on such short notice.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m glad everything worked out well at the doctor. Tell Daniel I’ll have her ready.”

Marienne put the phone down on the kitchen table. “She said the kids are all tired from being at the playground, but Ella’s ready any time.”

“What do you feel like eating? Pizza? Chicken?”

Marienne hadn’t thought about food all day, suddenly she was starving.

“Gyro?” he asked.

“Mmm. Good idea. Can you get an order of hummus too?”

“Of course.” He lifted her legs off his lap and leaned toward her.

She tilted her face and he kissed her. His lips were warm and soft. She ran her hand up his thigh.

He moaned. “Your naughty school girl routine will have to wait ‘til later.” He pressed his nose against hers.

“I suppose you’re right.” She pouted as she rubbed her hand against him. “We could go fast….”

“You have no idea how tempting that sounds.” He kissed her again. “But it won’t do at all to have me falling asleep at the wheel while I drive to get Ella.”