Holding On (7 page)

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Authors: Karen Stivali

Tags: #Women's Fiction, #romantic elements

BOOK: Holding On
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“Of course I made it, this is by far the hippest party we get invited to every year.”

Christina laughed. “You two do not get out enough. Daniel’s not here yet. Can I get you a drink? We’ve got juice and soda. I know you can’t have anything fun.”

“Ginger ale?”

“Follow me.”

Marienne squeezed her way past the group of people clustered by the table of food. The loft was roomy, with high ceilings and walls of bookcases.

“You can throw your coat on the bed.” Christina pointed behind the wall of burgundy curtains that separated the bedroom from the main room.

Marienne tossed her coat on the pile then headed toward the kitchen. She noticed a painting she hadn’t seen before.

“That’s lovely.” Marienne pointed to the large square piece. “Is it new?”

“Amy painted that in grad school. I’ve been telling her to hang it for years but she never thinks her work is good enough.”

“She’s wrong. It’s gorgeous.” Marienne studied the colors, swirls of red and orange like a sunset made of flowers.

“You should tell her that. When I say it, she assumes I’m just being a good wife.” Christina handed Marienne a champagne glass of ginger ale. “So, how are you feeling? You look fantastic. You’re glowing like a ripe mango.”

“I feel wonderful.” Marienne’s free hand went to her stomach.

“I’m proud of you for letting Daniel get the lion’s share of morning sickness.”

Marienne laughed. “I know, poor thing. I think he’s finally over that.”

“Yeah, just in time for him to get nauseated about the revisions on his screenplay. He has no idea how incredible it is that they requested so few changes.”

Screenplay? Revisions?
“Wait. What?”

“The changes the producer suggested, so he can finalize the offer.” Christina’s eyes scanned Marienne’s. “Oh God. He has told you about the producer, right?”

Marienne’s heart was pounding. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Should I?”

Christina took a gulp of wine. “I’ve got such a big fucking mouth. Daniel’s going to strangle me.”

“Not if I kill him first. What screenplay? Is he working on someone’s script?”

“No, he wrote one. A brilliant one. He said he hadn’t let anyone read it but I assumed that meant anyone besides you. He didn’t even want me to read it, but I did and I loved it so much I gave it to a friend of mine and now Paramount wants to buy it. He’s totally wigging out.”

Marienne was too stunned to speak.
I can’t believe he didn’t tell me about this
. Her cheeks burned with anger. Hurt stung the backs of her eyes.

“I’m so sorry I told you like this. I really thought you knew. Don’t be too hard on him. He’s really freaked out by this whole thing. It’s happened insanely fast. Knowing Daniel he didn’t want to worry you.”

Marienne could see the concern on Christina’s face. She knew she was right. Daniel was probably trying to protect her in some way. But she was still pissed.

“Speak of the handsome devil.” Christina raised her glass and Marienne turned to see Daniel striding toward her. His face brightened the moment Marienne made eye contact. His smile alone was almost enough to make her forget her anger. Almost.

****

Daniel scanned the room looking for Marienne. His pulse quickened the second he saw her. She looked tiny standing next to Christina, who was easily a head taller. He took in the generous swell of her profile beneath her purple sweater dress. She looked incredible.

Her huge eyes were even rounder and darker than usual. He walked straight to her and placed his hand on the small of her back. “Hey.” He leaned in for a quick kiss.

She stiffened at his touch.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said. Her voice was steady, but clipped.

“You’re gonna need this.” Christina handed him a bottle of beer. “I’m so sorry.” She scooted past Daniel and disappeared among the guests.

Daniel’s heart was beating in his ears. “What is she sorry about? Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I hear you’ve written a screenplay.” Marienne’s words were cool, and he could hear the pain behind them.

Bugger.
He raked his hands through his hair. “I…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I just…I guess…”
Why didn’t I?

Amy swept over to them. “There you two are.” She gave Daniel a sideways hug and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. She was even more petite than Marienne, flitting around like a butterfly, the total opposite of Christina. “Marienne, you look amazing.” Her hand ran over Marienne’s stomach. “Come. I want to introduce you to some people. You can talk to your husband any time.”

Daniel watched as Amy dragged Marienne away by the hand. The look in her eyes was killing him.

Christina reappeared behind him. “Do you hate me?”

“I’m too consumed by self-loathing at the moment. You I’ll hate tomorrow.”

“It never occurred to me you hadn’t told her.”

Daniel took a long drink of beer. “I know. It’s not your fault. I should have told her. I’ve no idea why I didn’t.” That wasn’t entirely true. He had some idea why.

****

Marienne managed to avoid Daniel for the next several hours, going out of her way to chat with other guests. Every time she caught sight of him, he threw her a tortured look.
Good. Let him be upset. He’s lucky I didn’t throw a drink in his face.

When it was time to leave, he helped her on with her coat. He flipped her hair out from beneath her collar. The touch of his fingers made her want to forget her anger, but she couldn’t. She planned on waiting until they were in the car to start talking, but Daniel began the moment they left the building.

“I’m sorry.” He turned her toward him.

She avoided his eyes, knowing the look in them might well make her forgive him on the spot.

“I’m truly sorry. I’m an arse.”

“I won’t argue that.” Her breath puffed cold and smoky in the night air but she felt overheated. “I can’t believe you would keep something this important from me. I can’t believe you could.”

What else aren’t you telling me?

“I didn’t set out to keep it from you.”

“Well you sure did a good job of it for something you weren’t trying to do.” She pulled away and started walking toward the car. Daniel followed, repeatedly trying to place his hand on her back. She wrenched away whenever he made contact.

Daniel held the door as she got into the passenger seat. She busied herself with the seatbelt then stared out the window, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stand her silence.

“I really wasn’t trying to keep anything from you. I didn’t intend for anyone to ever read it. I wrote it when I was up all those nights with insomnia. It wasn’t something I even planned to write. It just happened.”

“How does an entire screenplay just happen? Did you accidentally write a children’s book and your memoirs, too?”

“No. Just this one thing.”

Marienne sighed. Being mad at him was draining. “What’s it about?”

Daniel paused.

Anger flashed through her. “Fine. Don’t tell me.”

“Give me a minute. I don’t have a bloody elevator pitch at the ready.” She could hear the tension in his voice. “It’s about four men who are each expecting their first child and how they handle it.”

“Go on.” Her mind raced, trying to figure out why he wouldn’t want her to know about it.

“The four of them are friends, but they’re different ages and they’re all in very different situations, so it explores their reactions to impending fatherhood.”

“Like The Brotherhood of the Travelling Baby Bjorn?”

****

Daniel was relieved to hear her make a joke, even though he knew she was trying to be snotty. “Not exactly, though perhaps that could be the sequel. It’s more about their thoughts during the pregnancies. Their hopes and fears. The things that freak them out.” He glanced over at her. Her brow was no longer as tightly furrowed.

“Are you one of the guys?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Then why wouldn’t you tell me about it?”

Daniel changed lanes and put the car on cruise control. “Actually I think you just pointed out one of the reasons. I know it’s natural for people to assume that writers are writing about themselves, and I didn’t want you looking for us in these characters. We’re not there. I mean sure, some of the things the guys worry about are things I’ve worried about, but the majority of their thoughts are theirs alone.”

Marienne shifted so she was facing him. “Be more specific.”

“One of the characters is in his early twenties and newly married and didn’t want children. Another is in his late twenties—closest to our age—and he’s worried his girlfriend’s baby isn’t his. There’s a forty-ish player who got a woman pregnant on a one-night-stand but now realizes he wants to be a father. And the thirty-something guy and his wife had so many fertility issues that by the time they actually conceived he was already a basket case.”

Marienne remained quiet. He knew the wheels were spinning as she tried to determine which character he’d related to the most. She stared at her lap.

“This is precisely what I wanted to avoid. I didn’t want to add to your stress level,” he said.

“Why would reading it add to my stress level? Are there things in it that I should be stressed about?” Her voice rose higher.

“What? No. My characters are quite neurotic. I didn’t want to give you ideas for new things to worry about.” He reached over and picked up her hand, relieved when she didn’t pull away. “Do you want to read it?” The base of his throat tightened as he waited for her reply.

“Not if you don’t want me to.”

He squeezed her fingers. “I want whatever will make you not hurt anymore. I’m sorry.”

Marienne laid her head on his arm. Her thumb trailed beneath his coat sleeve and rubbed against his wrist. “I’d like to read it.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Tonight.”

Oh God.

Chapter Nine

“Paper or laptop?” Daniel asked, feeling nauseated. He’d tried to convince Marienne to wait until morning, but she insisted she wanted to read it as soon as the babysitter left. They’d compromised and she’d agreed to read in bed.

“Whichever.” Marienne’s cheeks glowed, her eyes wary as she watched him open his briefcase.

“Paper won’t run out of battery if you fall asleep.” He handed her his only copy.

Marienne headed toward the staircase with his screenplay clutched in her arms. “Aren’t you coming up?”

“To watch you read and try to guess what every look that crosses your face means? Uh, no. I’ll come check on you if I hear snoring.”

“I don’t snore. And I won’t be falling asleep until I’m done.”

Daniel listened, expecting to hear her brush her teeth or at least use the bathroom, but all he heard was the headboard thump once as she climbed into bed.

What if she hates it? Will she tell me? What if she thinks all of the characters are really me?
Daniel didn’t know what to worry about more. He rubbed his temples. He had totally poured his own fears into the screenplay, but there was no character based on him. They were exaggerations or downright opposites. None of the women were even remotely like Marienne either. His mind ran through the scenes wondering how fast she was reading and how she was reacting. He was glad screenplays weren’t very long.

****

Marienne heard the television as she crept down the stairs. She wondered what Daniel had done to keep himself busy while she was reading. Now she knew. He was watching a movie. She rounded the corner to the family room and smiled when she saw him. He was slumped on the couch, long legs wide apart, one bobbing nervously. His arms were wrapped around his chest but one thumb rubbed against his lips. The flickering light from the TV highlighted his profile. His dark hair shone almost blue.

“Hey.” She slipped onto the couch alongside him, causing him to startle.

His eyes flashed, dark with expectation.

She reached over and wove her fingers through his hair. “I’m such a lucky woman.”

Daniel’s brows drew together.

“Because my husband is the most amazing writer in the world.”

Before she could even formulate her next thought, Daniel’s mouth was on hers. He pulled her close, one hand pressed against her back as the other cupped her face. She melted into him.

“So,” he said, resting his forehead against hers, “you were saying….”

“My husband is the most amazing kisser in the world.”

Daniel laughed, his nose brushing against hers. “Did you really like it?”

“The kiss? It was perfect.”

“I’m glad.” His mouth found hers again. “But that’s not what I meant.”

“Daniel, your writing is beautiful. The story is poignant, the dialogue is hilarious, and your characters are so well drawn I feel like I know them. I’m not at all surprised someone is interested in buying this. It’s amazing.”

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