Holiday Heat (9 page)

“Carrie,” he
said softly, shaking his head with a fond smile. “Why do you think I’m here?”

Trapped by the
expression in his eyes, Carrie leaned toward him unconsciously. “Well, I guess
it’s because I’m here.”

“Good guess.”

“But why—”

“Baby,” Matt
murmured, cupping her face again. “You know why I’m here.”

“To spend
Christmas with me?” she said, her voice breaking slightly. It was too amazing.
Too miraculous. She still couldn’t believe it was true.

Matt’s face had
moved so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her skin. All she saw
were his blue eyes and his beautifully shaped lips. She’d forgotten all about
his red and white outfit. “Among other things,” he breathed, before he kissed
her.

A rush of
sensation and joy overwhelmed her, and she moaned against his mouth, her arms
wrapping around his neck. She pressed the length of her body against his.

Matt’s mouth
moved against hers, and she opened to him instinctively, wanting to feel him in
every way she could.

She was just
getting into the kiss when a familiar voice broke into the embrace. “Carrie?
What the fuck?”

Carrie and Matt
pulled away at the same time. Knowing what was coming, her face blazed with
embarrassment. She tried to get her brain to work so she could come up with a
reasonable excuse.

But she
couldn’t think of anything as she turned to face Jenn, who was staring at them
like they were aliens.

Jenn blinked.
“I know I said you should try to get into the Christmas spirit more, but I
didn’t mean you should make out with the first Santa you saw.”

Carrie’s cheeks
burned as she opened her mouth to reply to her sister’s wry comment.

No words came
out. Her mouth was suddenly dry, and her brain was a blank.

Matt had pulled
away from the embrace, moving the Santa beard back up to cover the lower part
of his face.

“Carrie?” Jenn
prompted, taking a step closer. Her expression was torn between surprise,
amusement, and something else. “Everything all right?”

Recognizing
that the something else on Jenn’s face was concern, Carrie managed to find her
voice. “Yeah. I’m good. Just felt a little…crazy.”

“Evidently.”
Jenn’s eyes scanned Matt from his black boots to red hat, lingering on the red
suit and bushy, false beard. “Honestly, I don’t see the appeal—” She cut
herself off with a noticeable start. “Wait, is this your older-man, hot fling?”

Leave it to
Jenn to make sense out of a senseless situation. “Uh, yeah,” Carrie admitted.

Her face
relaxing, Jenn said, “Oh. Very sorry I interrupted. I’ll let you, er, get back
to it. I assume I won’t be seeing you for dinner?”

“You won’t be
seeing her for dinner,” Matt affirmed, before Carrie could figure out an
answer.

Carrie shot him
an indignant look for such high-handedness, mostly out of habit. She now had no
plans but to spend the evening, night, and as much of the following day as
possible with Matt.

Jenn was
obviously hiding a smile. “Very good. Carry on.”

And she turned
around and walked out.

Carrie let out
a whoosh of air. “Well, that was embarrassing.”

“Yeah. At least
she didn’t know who I am. Having one person in the world know I dressed up in
this thing is more than enough.”

She snickered.
“You really should have thought twice before you gave me such good ammunition.”

“Yeah. Not one
of my best strategic moves.” Something changed on his expression, and he looked
almost predatory.

Carrie’s breath
hitched in response.

“But I’m sure
it will have a few fringe benefits.”

“Fringe?” Her
tone was sharp, but it was more out of principle than anything else, since she
felt like she might melt into a puddle of sappy feelings. “I’ll have you know
I’m nobody’s fringe. Don’t assume that just because you make this crazy,
dramatic gesture everything will go your way.”

“So you’re
saying you don’t want to spend the evening with me?”

“I’m thinking
about it.”

“Okay. You
think.” He hid a smile. “I’ll do something constructive in the meantime.”

Before she
could figure out what he referred to, he’d grabbed her indecorously and folded
her over his shoulder.

She shrieked in
surprise. While she’d read books where things like that happened, she’d never
imagined it would happen to her. She felt like she wasn’t small enough to be
carried, although Matt was strong and he seemed to be managing it well enough.

Honestly, it
wasn’t all that comfortable, with his shoulder pushing against her middle and
her head hanging upside-down.

“Matt! Damn it,
Matt, what the hell are you doing?”

“Doing
something constructive while you think.” He was slightly breathless, but she
didn’t know if it was from laughter or effort.

Evidently, his
constructive use of time was carrying her down the back hall to a wing of the
lodge she hadn’t yet seen.

Carrie should
have put up a struggle—merely to show she wouldn’t be bulldozed—but she didn’t
feel much like it.

She was dizzy
from giddy excitement, surprised disorientation, and ironic amusement.

And the
weirdness of being carried this way.

When Matt
unlocked a room, she brilliantly deduced that he’d reserved a room here for
himself.

And she managed
to come up with some sort of response. “Matt, this is ridiculous. It’s one
thing to be carried into a room caveman-style by a sexy man. It’s another to be
carried in by Santa Claus!"

Matt chuckled
as he walked into the room and eased her off his shoulder, but he didn’t set
her back on her feet. Instead, he lowered her down to the bed, spreading her
out beneath him on the cool coverlet. There was a fire blazing in the
fireplace—a feature her little room didn’t possess. And there was champagne in
a silver bucket with two crystal flutes on the table, along with a few plates
under silver covers.

But all Carrie
could see was Matt’s face just above her. Although her body had shifted sharply
from disorientation to excitement, her deepest excitement wasn’t physical.

 “I’d
appreciate it if you don’t keep reminding me of the costume,” Matt said, his
eyes glinting with familiar irony. “It might ruin the mood.”

Carrie made an
incoherent sound of half-humor, half-sentiment. “Don’t count on that. Your dressing
up as Santa was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I plan to
remember it for a long time.”

Matt closed his
eyes and moaned softly. “You didn’t just call me sweet, did you?”

For some
reason, his dry tone and insistence that he not be associated with softer
emotions made Carrie feel quite melty, as did the heat of his body above her. 
“It was the right word.”

He lowered his
mouth to her neckline and teased the skin with his tongue and teeth.
“Definitely not the right word.”

“You
are
sweet.” Her voice cracked with feeling at the deprecation in his tone. “Not
always, I admit. Sometimes you’re an ass. But you can be sweet.” She reached up
when he lifted his head again to gaze down at her. She cupped his cheek with
one hand. “You are now. You are with me.”

Matt leaned
down to kiss her, and his tongue dipped into her mouth, stroking the inside of
her lips, her tongue, the roof of her mouth. When he pulled away at last, he
said breathlessly, “What about my hard edge?”

“It’s just
softened by all the Santa padding.”

“Well, let’s
just keep that between us.”

She exhaled
with laughter but then met his eyes. And her mood suddenly transformed from
what she saw there. “Oh, God, Matt,” she breathed. “I want you so much.”

She’d said the
same thing to him before, but it meant something entirely different now.

Matt pulled his
chest away from hers and studied her face intently. “Do you? You want me?” he
asked hoarsely. “You want
me
?”

Carrie gulped.
“Oh yeah. I do.” When she saw she hadn’t really answered his question, she
added, “I want all of you. Hard edge and Santa padding both. Always.”

Smiling, he
murmured, “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

He kissed her
then, and it was deep and intense and breathtaking—but it didn’t immediately
turn into sex.

Finally, Carrie
pulled away long enough to breathe, “Matt?”

“Yeah, baby.”
He gazed down at her with naked emotion. It was impossible not to read what was
blazing in his eyes. So much more than lust.

“Do you think
you could maybe take off some of the Santa stuff? This is all amazing, but it
would be nice to feel more of
you
.”

He choked on a
laugh and straightened up for long enough to throw off his red jacket, padding,
wig, hat, and boots, so he was left in a white t-shirt, red pants, and his own
dear, scarred face.

Then he moved
over her again. “How’s that?”

She stroked the
scar on the side of his head. “Much better.”

They kissed
again, her heart and her body flooded with feeling, until he finally raised his
head. “Carrie?” he asked thickly, his eyes holding hers in a deep look. “This
isn’t just a sleazy affair, is it?”

She shook her
head mutely, feeling inordinately touched by the question. Then managed to say,
“Not for me.”

“Me either.”

Then they were
kissing again. She felt that he was growing hard, but he didn’t start to
undress her, didn’t grow urgent in his touch.

She pressed her
pelvis up against his arousal. “I’ve loving the kissing, but we can have sex if
you want, Matt,” she said, stroking the strong planes of his back beneath his
damp t-shirt.

“Later. I want
to say a few things first. I need you to know it’s not all about sex.” His
expression was utterly sober as he gazed down on her.

She was shaking
from excitement at the implications of his hoarse words. She waited
breathlessly for several long moments. Then finally demanded, “Well? What did
you want to say?”

He smiled at
her tone, but then his expression grew serious again. “You promise I’m not
going to scare you away?”

She resisted
the urge to hug herself. “Nothing you say is going to scare me away.”

“What if I
confess to being a serial killer? You might be a little scared then.”

“Stop
stalling!” She grabbed him shoulders and tried to shake him with playful
impatience. They had a little wrestling match until she relaxed beneath him
again.

“Carrie, you know
how I feel about you, don’t you?” he asked at last, meeting her eyes, the
teasing glint entirely gone.

“I think I do
now. But aren’t you going to tell me?”

His face
twisted slightly as he leaned down to kiss her. She reveled in the kiss but her
heart was beating wildly when he finally pulled away. She felt so much—too
much—that her eyes burned with the feeling.

“I love you,
Carrie,” he said thickly.

To her horror,
her face contorted as the threatened tears briefly overflowed. Matt looked even
more horrified than she felt until she managed to compose herself. “Sorry about
that,” she told him. “One of the consequences of being a girl. I’m okay now. So
how long have you…have you felt this way?”

“For a while.”

“Why didn’t you
tell me?”

He exhaled and
glanced away. “It was too soon. I didn’t think you weren’t ready to hear it. I
would have scared you away.”

That much was
true. She would have run scared had she heard anything like this—not so long
ago.

“But even the
other night? I kept thinking things were changing between us, but you never
said anything, so I had to assume it was just me. Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“I wanted to. I
almost did—more than once. But I still didn’t know if it was too soon.”

“It wasn’t.”

He leaned down
to kiss her again briefly. “I didn’t know. I’ve been crazy about you almost
from the very beginning, but at first I had nothing to offer you except a
broken shell.”

She started to
object to the sentiment, but he talked over her, “That’s how I felt. And it
just wasn’t good enough for you. So then, as I started to get it together
again, I figured I only had one chance with you, so I wasn’t going to blow it
by moving too soon and scaring you away.”

She felt a
little like crying again, but didn’t. “I’ve always thought you moved just right.”

He almost
laughed. “I do my best.”

They gazed at
each other for a minute until he cleared his throat.

She suddenly
realized what he was waiting for. “Well, while we’re sharing confessions, I
guess I’ll admit that I love you too.”

“That’s what I
thought.”

“Try to
restrain the pomposity. Remember, I have a lifetime’s worth of ammunition in
that Santa suit.”

To her delight,
he smiled at her—rather than the haughty glare she’d expected. “Sounds like a
plan to me.”

The
implications in his words made her want to melt, but she’d never thought of
herself as a melty kind of girl before. It was probably the roaring fire and
the weight of Matt’s warm body on top of her.

That was all it
was. She wasn't really melty. It was just hot.

“Do you think you could put down
the damn book?”

Matt’s question
was more of a demand than an inquiry, and he glared at her impatiently.

Carrie glared
back. “I have to study. I have to do well if I want to get into a good grad
school.”

“You’ve been
studying for that exam for an entire month. You’re going to ace it.”

“Maybe.” She
was scheduled to take the GRE in early January, so the urgency of her studying
had been intensifying as the date approached. “I don’t know.”

When she
glanced over at Matt’s face—half-fond and half-skeptical now—she couldn’t help
but give him a self-deprecating smile. “All right. So maybe I’m obsessing. I
just feel like I’m so far behind.”

His expression
changed, and he pulled her gently to her feet. “You took a year off from
college. People do it all the time. You’re not behind in any real way.”

“Yeah. I guess
so.” She felt a little sappy at the deep expression in his eyes.

He eased the
book out of her hand and tossed it onto the bed. “Now hurry up, or we won’t make
it to the party by midnight.”

The sappiness
vanished, and Carrie frowned. “We have plenty of time.” When she glanced at the
clock and saw it was already almost ten, she decided Matt might have a small
point. “All right, I’ll finished getting dressed.”

She and Matt
were going to a New Year’s Eve party at her aunt’s, and Carrie was actually a
little nervous about it.

Being careful
not to show her tension, she took off her robe and picked up from the bed the
black dress she was planning to wear.

It was the same
angle-hemmed dress she’d tried on in the dressing room—more than a year ago
now. The dress was one of her favorites.

Her absolute
favorite was the red one Matt had picked out for her on that same shopping
trip.

He was already
dressed in an urban-cut black suit, and he’d gone back to doodling on a sketch
pad he carried with him everywhere.

As Carrie
checked her hair and added a couple of sparkly hairpins, she told herself she
had no reason to be nervous.

They were just
going to a party at her aunt’s. It would be fun, festive, maybe a little
boring, without a lot of people she knew. Except for Jenn and her boyfriend.

And her
parents. And Henry’s parents, who were spending the holiday in the city.

“It’s fine if
you’re nervous.”

Carrie jerked,
both at the interruption of her private flow of thoughts and the way Matt had
evidently read her mind.

“I’m not nerv—”
she began, then saw Matt’s raised eyebrows. “Fine. I’m a little nervous. I know
there’s no reason for it, but it’s like my two worlds are colliding. My old
world, with Henry, and my new one.”

She loved her
life now, but moving on had sometimes been difficult for her.

The year had
been rough for Matt at times too. He’d started exhibiting some of his new
paintings in the last six months, and not everyone liked the change in his
work.

“I know,” he
said. “It makes sense that it would be unsettling. I would never try to
minimize what you had with Henry. I’m glad he was part of your life for so many
years. I just want to be part of
both
of your worlds. I want to be part
of
all
of your worlds.” He cleared his throat. “I hope that’s all
right.”

“Of course,
it’s all right.” Grabbing the necklace she was planning to wear, she came over
and slid her arms around Matt’s neck, letting him pull her into his lap.

After she’d
kissed him for a minute, stroking his lips with her tongue, she pulled away,
one hand still caressing his head. “I’m glad you’re going to meet them. I’m a
little nervous, yes, but I’m happy about it.”

“I’m going to
do my best to make sure you stay happy. In every way I can. I know things
haven’t always been easy with us, because of everything we’ve gone through.”

“Who ever said
easy was the way to go?” She gave Matt the necklace and adjusted so he could
put it on for her.

After he’d
fastened the delicate mechanism, he murmured, almost indifferently, “Sometimes
easy would be nice.”

Carrie turned
her head to meet his eyes. “Good trumps easy any day.”

That made him
smile. “Agreed.” He patted her on the ass. “Now hurry up and put your shoes
on.”

She scowled,
but she was actually feeling very mushy inside. “Don’t be too bossy, or I’ll
regale everyone at the party with detailed descriptions of you in a Santa suit.
Don’t forget, Jenn actually saw—”

She broke off
with a squeal as Matt growled and lunged for her teasingly.

As she went to
pull on her shoes, she glanced back and saw him palm something he’d pulled out
of his pocket.

“What’s that?”
she asked, her curiosity roused.

He sneered with
cool arrogance. “You would do better to focus on getting ready instead of
prying into my affairs.”

And Carrie
suddenly knew—she
knew
—what he had in his pocket.

She had to duck
her head to hide the flash of joy on her face.

But she managed
to say, liltingly enough. “But I
like
your affairs.”

“You’re the
last affair I’ll ever have.”

Carrie had to
swallow over the lump of emotion and slowly walked over to the dresser to put
on her earrings as a way to control her rush of trembling.

She hadn’t
quite managed to pull herself together when she met Matt’s gaze again. She knew
he could see her reaction.

In response to
what she hadn’t said—what she hadn’t needed to say—Matt murmured, “Good
definitely trumps easy.”

Unable to
contain her feelings and giving up on even trying, she went over to hug him
again.

The last year
hadn’t been easy. But it had been good. So good.

And tonight was
New Year’s Eve.

Next year would
be even better.