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Authors: Melissa Pearl

Tags: #second chance, #country music, #coming of age college romance new adult, #new adult clean romance, #small town country western romance, #songbird novel

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“I’m going to sleep in my old room.” He brushed past me while I blinked at my stinging eyes.

It was pointless trying to call him back. Josh liked to stew. That was his way. He’d come around in the morning…hopefully before I left.

Slumping onto the mattress, I fought the overwhelming urge to cry. Part of me didn’t want to leave, but I couldn’t tell him that. He’d just use it to make me stay and I couldn’t.

I could
not
stay.

 

“You have to go, baby. You have to get out while you can.” Mama’s voice was weak and breathy.

“I ain’t leaving you.” Tears were burning my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I clutched my mother’s frail hand like it was the only thing keeping me alive.

“I don’t have much time left.” A cough rattled her chest, her thin body convulsing.

I waited it out, knowing she had more to say, and desperate to find out what it was.

Wiping her brow with the damp cloth by the bed, I sniffed and pulled her hand to rest against my cheek.

“Once I’m gone, you know Daddy and the boys are going to work you to the bone. You have to get free,” she whispered. “You have to go and live the life that you deserve. Baby, you are so talented. Your voice cannot be hidden away. It needs to be heard. You take that guitar and you do whatever it takes to become a star. You fly, my angel. You shine your light and you touch hearts like I know you can.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears then. They trickled out my eyes and ran down my cheeks, kissing the edge of my mouth with their saltiness.

“You promise me, baby.”

“I promise, Mama.”

“Whatever it takes.”

I nodded.

A weak smile touched her lips. “I’ll be watching you, always.”

“I love you, Mama.”

 

Those were the last words she ever heard me say. She fell asleep after our chat, and the pneumonia took her that night. I’d stayed for the funeral and she’d been right—the day her body was buried, Daddy and my three older brothers turned me into their housemaid. I no longer had caring for Mama as my excuse, and I was expected to do everything. I hated them for it, but I hated my father more for letting Mama die. Something that started out as a common cold turned into a vicious flu. He couldn’t afford no medical bills, and I blamed him for her unnecessary death.

In spite of all that, fear kept me put and I lasted for two more months. But then
that night
happened, and I couldn’t take it anymore. With nothing more than my guitar and a small bag of essentials, I split town and never looked back.

I was sixteen years old and homeless, but I was determined.

My sights were set on the big city. Nashville, originally. I’d planned to busk my way there…do whatever it took to make it, but things didn’t go according to plan. I never expected to end up near-dead on Clark’s back door, but I guess it was a blessing in disguise. Josh and Amos took me in, helped me get better. I had pneumonia—ironic, right? I don’t know why I deserved to live when my saint of a mother was taken before her time, but maybe it was because I had a promise to keep.

Josh had gifted me something I’d never had—a safe haven. He’d made me fall in love, but…

But…

I could never shake my promise to Mama.

I couldn’t turn my back on this chance, no matter how much it hurt Josh.

My mama was watching and she’d want me to go.

So…decision made.

 

 

Chapter Seven

 

Josh

 

I couldn’t sleep. My old bed was lumpy and uncomfortable. I missed Rachel’s head on my shoulder, the way her small body fit against mine, a fragile bird that I wanted to cherish forever.

Why’d she want to leave me?

I tossed over to the side, gazing down at the spot on the floor where I’d slept for months while Rachel slept in the narrow little bed I occupied. She’d been sick with the flu when I’d first found her. Fever had ravaged her skeletal body for near a week before it finally broke. I’d worried the whole time¸ wondering if she was going to pull through. Duke had sat by her bed, the perfect guard dog while I worked down in the bar. I’d popped up to check on her whenever I could.

She was a fighter. Her petite frame hid her strength, but I saw it. She was determined to live.

“To live for this chance,” I muttered into the darkness, feeling like dirty pond water.

I couldn’t deny her this opportunity. I couldn’t tell her not to go, but boy did I want to.

I didn’t care what she thought. That pretty boy still made me uneasy, but what if I was wrong? What if this was her chance?

The very idea of her walking out my door made my gut clench. I hated the idea with every fiber of my being. It took me back to the last time my father left. He hugged me goodbye, told me he loved me and then went off to war. I wanted to hate him for leaving me again. My ma died when she gave birth to me, and my old man joined the Marines a month later. It was like he couldn’t stand to be around me or something. Although, when he was home it was great, but then 9/11 happened and everything changed. He was gone all the time, and I spent my days worrying that I’d never see him again.

I didn’t want to go through losing someone else, but if Rachel left…I would.

Sure, she wasn’t going off to war, but she was going away. She was leaving me, and I couldn’t make her stay.

 

“Stay,” I croaked, feeling more nervous than I ever had.

Uncle Amos had gone out of town for the weekend, and I was in his bed for the night. It was a nice change from the floor.

Rachel stood in my doorway, looking like an angel in one of my old shirts. I could see right through the white fabric, and I knew I had to have her.

I’d resisted for months, quietly falling in love with her and not saying a word. She didn’t need some pervert making advances on her. In the still darkness of the night, she’d told me everything. I knew what she’d had to do to survive those homeless winter nights. I ached for her, but it’d made me behave.

I even waited until the day after her eighteenth birthday—the whole time wondering if she’d still be there. As each month passed, talk of the big city grew less frequent and my hope continued to grow.

I kissed her lips for the first time on July fourth, sixteen months after I’d found her, and we’d been playing boyfriend and girlfriend ever since.

The fall leaves were turning red now, and I could no longer resist.

Her eyes sparkled with a cheeky grin as she took in my, no doubt, desperate expression. “You want me, Joshua Clark?”

“I want you.” I could barely breathe out the words.

Those supple lips of hers pulled into a giddy smile, her fingers tucking a springy curl behind her ear. “I want you, too.” She swallowed, gliding toward me. I drank in her body until she stood at my feet. The top of her head rested just below my chin. I palmed her curls and tipped her head toward mine.

She rose up to meet me, and that night I had my first real taste of heaven.

I fell in love with that girl…every inch of her…and I promised myself I’d never let her go.

 

But how did you keep someone who wanted to leave you?

“You can’t,” I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut and willing the pain at bay.

 

*****

 

The sun rose a few hours earlier than it should have. I stumbled out of bed, kneading my aching temples. I used the bathroom and then peeked into Uncle Amos’s old room. Since he’d left, Rachel and I had moved in there and our bed was empty. A suitcase sat on the floor beside it, packed and ready to go.

It felt like a knife was being driven straight through my stomach. Flicking the hair out of my face, I pulled it into a ponytail and clomped down the stairs.

Indistinct conversation was coming from the main bar and I frowned. We didn’t open until lunchtime on a Thursday, so who the hell was Rachel talking to?

It was probably Pretty Boy. The anger in my belly stirred just thinking about it. Stopping on the final step, I forced myself to take a slow breath. I couldn’t let her leave in anger. As much as I wanted to cuff her to the bar and never let her go, I couldn’t do it. What was the point of keeping someone if they didn’t want to be there?

Peeking my head out of the stairwell, I took in the sight of Rachel chatting to Duke. His floppy jowls sagged as if he was frowning.

“Now, don’t be giving me your sad face. I’ll come back to give you kisses soon enough.” She grinned, planting a kiss on his head. She was sitting in a chair while he was parked on the floor between her legs. He looked massive beside her.

Snuffling and letting out a little whimper, he bowed his head.

“Please don’t be like that. I need you to be happy for me. I need you to look after your daddy. He thinks I’m leaving him because I don’t love him anymore, but that could never be true. He owns my heart, that boy, and I’ll be calling and sending songs that I’ve recorded. It’s not over.” Her bright smile died, her expression crumpling a little before she could catch it.

I closed my eyes, cursing myself for spending our last night in a single bed when I could have been making love to her, kissing every inch of her skin and giving her all the reasons in the world to return.

Her voice dropped to a quiet whisper, which I had to strain to hear. “I love you. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Duke howled, making Rachel laugh before wrapping him in a tight hug. I gripped the doorframe, resisting the urge to walk into the room and disturb them. If I did, I’d drop to my knees and beg her to stay…and she didn’t need that from me.

Heading back up to the bathroom, I turned the shower to scalding and then shoved my head under the hot spray. All I could do was pray I’d have the courage to watch her leave me.

Chapter Eight

 

Rachel

 

I hadn’t seen Josh all morning. Leaving him alone had been real hard yet also a relief. I couldn’t handle another battle, so I didn’t want to see him, but I’d missed him in my bed and craved his touch, his kisses, his loving gaze. I needed to know we were okay. I didn’t want to leave under a dark cloud.

When I went up to grab my suitcase, Josh was locked away in his old room. Who knew what he was doing in there. I didn’t have the courage to knock and find out. Instead I muscled that case down the stairs. It landed with a thud on the wooden floor. I left it there and collected up my guitar, resting it gently inside the old black case. I was setting it down just as Mr. Stewart knocked on the main door.

I ran to let him in, forcing a bright smile.

The expression on his face turned my smile genuine. It was actually happening. I kind of wanted to keep pinching myself.

“Good morning, Miss Myers.” He slid off his aviator shades, his dark eyes sparkling at me.

“Please, call me Rachel.”

“Then you can call me Parker.”

“Deal.” I nodded.

“Are those your cases?” He pointed over my shoulder and I nodded again.

Brushing past me, he picked them up and then headed for his car.

“Wait, I—”

He stopped and glanced back at me. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just, um.” I swallowed. “I need to say goodbye.”

I’d already spoken to Millie on the phone. She’d cried and blubbered her farewell, making me feel like I was dying rather than flying to the coast. Brock had muttered out a swift goodbye. That man was loyal to Josh like a puppy dog. He didn’t want me going because it made Josh sad, and he was making me pay for it with short, clipped sentences and an icy tone.

Parker nodded at me from the doorway. “Okay, well, the plane leaves in a couple of hours, so we need to hit the road in five minutes if we’re going to make it to the airport in time.”

“Right, got it.” I nodded, swamped by a nervous agitation that I hadn’t expected.

Pressing my lips together, I turned for the stairs and found Josh waiting in the doorway.

My heart squeezed tight at the sight of him—my towering man with his hangdog frown.

“I—” I pointed behind me. “It’s time for me to go.”

“Yeah.” Josh stared at the floor as he slowly moved toward me.

“I’ll call you when I get there.”

“Okay.”

Damn, I was going to miss that deep voice—the soft, husky sound of it.

His pale blue gaze hit me, making me feel everything from guilt to despair. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t say anything. He’d always struggled to talk about his feelings. I guess I just instinctively knew most of them, and as much as I wanted it, I couldn’t expect gushy prose.

I needed to get the goodbye over with.

Stepping forward, I rose to my tiptoes and brushed my lips against his. “I’ll see you, Josh.” My voice wavered, tears burning my eyes as I spun for the door.

I yanked it open and headed for Parker’s car.

“Rachel, wait!”

My boot heel dug into the ground, and I turned to face my man. His large, grizzly bear body strode over to me, his jaw set tight and determined. He stopped right at my feet and pulled a note from his pocket.

“What’s this?” I took the one-dollar bill from him.

“I want you to buy me a postcard,” he croaked. “Find me one of a sunset or something.”

My song—“Picture Postcards From L.A.”

Well, ain’t that just the sweetest thing.

Tears lined my lashes as I clutched the note in my hand. “I’ll sign it with love forever more.”

Snatching me around the waist, Josh pulled me into a tight embrace. I clung to him like it was our last. My feet left the ground and I wrapped my legs around him, placing my hand on his face and running my thumb along his jawline.

He didn’t have anything else to say, so I kissed him, a hungry, solid promise that I would return. I couldn’t promise him that I’d stay, but I also couldn’t go the rest of my life without seeing him again. I had no idea when I’d be back, but I knew for sure that I’d never love anyone the way I loved Joshua Clark.

 

*****

 

The flight took about four and a half hours. I’d never been on a plane before and I tell ya, I was pretty nervous when we took off, but looking out that tiny window at the world below, that was beyond belief. Mama would have loved it. She would have sat in her tiny, cramped seat going on about how exciting it was.

She would have been right. It was exciting. In fact the further we flew, the more excited I got. The pain of leaving Josh was dulled by Parker’s chatter. He was telling me everything we’d be doing. He’d arranged it all the night before. His car was waiting for us at the airport, and he was going to drive me to my hotel.

A hotel!

I’d never stayed in one of them before. I mean, I’d been in the odd, disgusting motel room. The ones with the little kitchens in ’em, but I ain’t never stayed anywhere classy. And everything about Parker Stewart was classy.

I stole a glance out the corner of my eye. His thumbs moved like lightning over the touch pad of his phone. I didn’t know how he typed so fast. He was such a city boy…and I was a country hick. Tugging on my little skirt, I shifted in my seat, leaning my forehead against the small window to look out again.

The City of Angels was now beneath me, and all I could see were hundreds of houses with bean-shaped pools in their backyards. As the plane began its descent, I swear I was landing on an alien planet.

Could I honestly do this?

Whatever it takes.

Mama’s words whispered through my brain, and I forced a smile as the plane touched down.

Parker undid his seatbelt while the plane taxied for the gate and pulled out his bag from under the seat in front. I waited until the sign flicked off before unbuckling mine and awkwardly rising from my spot.

Parker passed down my handbag and I threw it over my shoulder, lining up with the other passengers and slowly making my way off the plane.

The flying had made me a little nauseous, but I kept my lips sealed. The last thing I wanted to do was puke in front of the man who was about to change my life. We walked to the baggage claim and I waited for my guitar in the special section, squeezing my fingers and praying it’d made the journey unscathed. It came through without a scratch, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Mama had scraped her pennies to buy me that guitar, and it was my last connection to her. I treasured it and couldn’t imagine ever not having it with me. I carried the case back to Parker’s side while he lifted off my bag. Resting it onto the trolley, he took the lead and we walked out of the airport.

Throngs of people milled around, and it took a bit of getting used to. The traffic was insane. I’d never seen anything like it, and the frenetic buzz in the air kind of made me feel excited and overwhelmed all in the same minute.

I hustled after Parker who powered ahead at a steady pace, his one long stride equaling two of mine. We reached his car several minutes later. It was buried deep in the parking lot.

With a winning smile, he opened the passenger door for me and I slid inside, feeling a little like a princess. Drivers did not open doors for their passengers where I came from.

The drive was fascinating. Parker put the top down on his car, and I saw all kinds of things on my way to the hotel. It made me feel like I was in a movie. You know the ones where the hillbilly goes to the big city and their eyes pop out as they take in all these strange sights. Well, that was me. I was the hillbilly and Los Angeles was like nothin’ I’d ever seen before.

My jaw sat slack most of the way until we reached the ocean, and then my smile grew so wide it actually hurt my face.

“That’s the ocean,” I breathed.

Parker’s head snapped my way. “You’ve never seen the ocean before?”

I shook my head, lost for words as I gazed at the endless blue. Clutching the top of the windshield, I rose in my seat so I could drink it all in—the white, powdery sand, the foamy lip of each wave. It was like paradise.

Mama, can you see this?

I knew she could, because she was there with me, no doubt just as awe-inspired.

The car slowed to a stop outside a fancy-looking hotel that sat across the road from the beach. The sign said: Hilton Waterfront Beach Resort.

“Here? I’m staying here?”

“Only the best for a potential client.” Parker’s grin was cocky as he lifted my cases from the trunk.

I took the guitar case and carried it up the stairs behind him, walking into a shiny lobby with plush sofas, huge floral arrangements, and a marble floor that you could see your reflection in.

I must have looked like a kid in Santa’s workshop. I couldn’t have closed my mouth if I’d wanted to.

My worn-out boots made loud staccato beats on the marble floor. I waited behind Parker as he checked me in, and then he led me to the elevator and took us up to the tenth floor.

The tenth!

I’d never been that high in a building before.

He opened the white door with a keycard and pushed it open, stepping back so I could go through first.

“Lord love a duck.” I shook my head, taking in the most gigantic bed I had ever seen. It was covered in a crisp, white quilt and had three of the biggest pillows across it, plus a whole bunch more cushions on top of those. Behind that was glass—just glass—that looked out across the ocean. Everything about the room was elegant and beautiful. I placed my guitar down by the shiny, black coffee table and ran my hand over the pristine couch against the wall.

“Your bathroom is through here.”

I followed Parker’s finger and walked into a humongous bathroom. It had a tub with jets in it, plus a huge shower with two nozzle heads. The mirror took up most of one wall.

“This place is…” I shook my head again.

Parker chuckled, rubbing his mouth and looking highly amused. “Enjoy it. I’ll be back for you tomorrow at ten, and I’ll drive you to the audition.”

I glanced at my watch. That was about eighteen hours away.

“In the meantime, I suggest you work on an audition piece.”

“Something like I did last night?”

“That was good.” Parker nodded. “Maybe have a few songs ready to go. Definitely country and maybe something a little poppy, as well.”

“Poppy?”

“You know, the fusion of country and pop, like Taylor Swift or Michelle Branch.”

My grin was instant. Michelle Branch! I loved her stuff.

“I’m sure whatever you decide will be perfect.” His eyes scanned me from my curls to the tips of my boots.

I tugged on my little denim skirt, suddenly three inches shorter with him staring at me that way.

“The skirt and boots are perfect.” His lips pursed, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Maybe a more fitted top, something that shows off your body.”

I frowned. I couldn’t help it. Why would I need to show off my body?

His chuckling grin made his cheekbones protrude. “Not to sound like a shallow person, but we have to sell the whole package. Not only do you have an amazing voice, but you’re absolutely stunning and unfortunately in this business, looks do count. Don’t be afraid to show off that gorgeous body of yours. It definitely won’t do any harm.”

My cheeks burned with a hot blush. I tucked a curl behind my ear and nodded. “Okay.”

“You have a good night, Rachel.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Parker.”

The second the door clicked shut, I let out a loud squeal and twirled on the spot.

This was happening.

This was actually happening!

I leaped across the room to the couch and flicked my guitar case open. As soon as my guitar was nestled on my lap, I gave it a slow strum. Reaching for the tuning pegs, I adjusted them before flicking the strings. I retuned it until I was happy then closed my eyes and strummed again.

“Anything and Everything” came out of me before I could stop it. That was Mama’s song. She used to sing it, believing just for a moment that dreams could come true. When she’d gifted me the guitar, it was the first song she wanted me to learn. I’d had to teach myself, following along on a little book she’d bought me, but it had come natural, and I picked it up pretty fast. I spent every spare second I could, hiding in the back of the shed and practicing until the tips of my fingers were indented with string lines.

 

“Oh, baby, that’s beautiful.” Mama clasped her hands together and looked at me with glistening eyes. “You’re gonna have your own album one day and everyone’s going to buy it. People are gonna hear one second of your voice and fall completely in love.”

 

I hoped she was right.

I so desperately wanted to make her proud.

In spite of the beach calling out the window, I decided to forsake my first feel of sand and stay in my room. I had work to do. I had people to wow in the morning, and I sure as heck wasn’t about to let my mother down.

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