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Chapter Fifteen

Rachel

I sat like a stiff-legged statue for the rest of the night, panic coursing through me. I had to get out of that contract. Sure, I’d signed, but those kinds of things were broken all the time, right?

It hurt my heart to think I’d come so close only to fail, but I couldn’t make myself go up on a stage and do that. Josh would be horrified, and I’d hate myself forever. I didn’t get saved from the gutter only to throw myself into a new one.

Having the conversation in a deafening nightclub was pointless. I had to wait until the morning. When dawn came, I could say my piece and head on back to Payton. The very idea reeked of humiliation, but Josh would forgive me. He always did eventually.

At midnight, Parker offered to walk me back to my apartment. I jumped at the chance. After suffering nearly four hours of bikini-clad betties strutting the stage, I’d had my fill. I was nauseous with the very idea of having to do something like that.

Parker held my hand as we stepped out into the dark street. I tried to wiggle free, but his grip only tightened.

“You have a good night?”

“Of course,” I lied.

It was not the time to complain. I had to perfect my speech, pick my moment. I didn’t want to make them angry. I had to come up with a nice, easy explanation for my change of heart. Fingers crossed I could pitch it just right and they’d tell me they understood and then send me on my way. I had enough money to buy a bus ticket to Payton. I’d have to head straight back. I didn’t have the money to stay in LA, and I wasn’t about to ask Parker to look for any more jobs for me.

He held open the building door.

“Thanks, Parker. I can make my way from here.”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll walk you up.”

I turned away to hide my eye roll. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk and evening chatter. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I strode ahead of him down the corridor and pulled the key out of my purse.

He caught up to me easily and placed his hand on my lower back. “I’ll be here by nine tomorrow morning.”

“What for?” I kept my head down, focusing on the lock.

“You’re booked for a photo shoot tomorrow. We want to get some publicity shots organized so that we’re ready to go as soon as you are.”

“Right.” My head bobbed way too fast. Hopefully he didn’t notice.

“Don’t be nervous. You’re going to fit right in at Club Liberation, and I’ll spend this week putting together a nice promo package for you. Kind of like a résumé with professional headshots. I’m going to make you look so good people will be begging to sign you.”

I couldn’t help turning with a huff. “I thought you wanted a wholesome country girl, not some slut like was up on the stage tonight.”

Parker snickered, stepping into my personal space and sliding his hand around to my hip. “With a body like this, we can turn you into both. The men are gonna love you.” He leaned forward, his fat mouth aiming for mine.

My eyes bulged, my head pulling back so fast I whacked it on the door. “What are you doing?” I pushed at his chest.

“Sorry.” He took his sweet time stepping away, a cocky smile on his lips. “I thought I felt something.”

“You thought wrong.”

He raised his hands and backed off. “Maybe I can make you change your mind.” He winked.

“I don’t think so.” I wrestled my door open and slammed it shut behind me, leaning against the wood and fighting for air.

Oh my Lord, I couldn’t handle that, too.

Josh would die if he knew Parker had tried to kiss me.

“I can’t believe you let him do that, Rachel.”

“Colby was only having a little fun! You know what he’s like. It didn’t mean nothin’!”

Josh grunted, the broom in his hand moving so fast, I thought the dust at our feet would turn into a hurricane.

“I was trying to be friendly. He’s a customer! We were just dancing.”

“Dancing,” Josh grumbled. “He nearly kissed you!”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, honey, he was pecking my cheek! You know it wouldn’t have meant anything. He’s completely in love with Doris what’s-her-name.”

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you when he was touching you.”

“You don’t like the way anyone looks at me, you jealous old hog!”

His razor glare could have stripped paint. I met it head-on, crossing my arms and sticking out my chin.

He let out an irate snort, throwing the broom toward the kitchen before spinning away from me and stomping up the stairs.

With a heavy sigh, I trotted up behind him.

“Leave me alone,” he shot over his shoulder.

“You’re being ridiculous!” I followed him into our bedroom, trying to hold my tongue while he jumped around the room, yanking off his boots.

My guitar was sitting in the corner behind him. If anything could butter him up, it’d be a sweet melody from me, so I brushed right past him as he hopped around and found myself a spot on the edge of the bed.

The perfect song rested on my lips, and I strummed the first chord of “Trust Me” with a smile.

Josh’s furious undressing routine slowed in pace, but he still wouldn’t look at me. I kept singing to him anyway. I meant every word coming out of my mouth. I was in love with him; I had been for months. We’d been sleeping together for a while, and I’d whispered the words in the heat of passion, but I’d never outright said them straight to his face, let alone sung them.

I was halfway through the second chorus by the time he was naked, and rather than plucking the guitar from my hands and laying me down on the bed, he damn well walked out of the room.

A string of curses swept out of my mouth, cutting my song short. I laid down my guitar and stomped into the bathroom. The hot shower spray was beginning to steam up the room, and I saw a flash of Josh’s tight behind before he flicked the curtain closed.

With a huff, I snatched the material and flung it back.

“You are as stubborn as mule, Joshua Clark!” My fists landed on my hips.

“Get out and let me shower in peace,” he yelled straight in my face before flicking the curtain between us.

My eyes narrowed to tight, determined slits and I ripped off my shirt and jeans, kicking my pile of clothes toward the toilet before stepping in behind him.

“I’m sorry if me dancing with Colby made you uncomfortable. I know you don’t like that kind of thing, and I should have respected that, but you have to forgive me, and I ain’t leaving your side until you do.”

Josh whipped around to face me, a deep scowl marring his perfect features. Flicking his wet locks out of his face, he licked the water off his lips and glared at me. “I do not have to forgive you.”

“Yes, you do!” I felt small beside his bulky, hard body, but I raised my chin anyway.

“And why is that?”

“Because we’re in love with each other and that’s what couples do. They fight, they forgive, they make out, and they get over it!”

His eyes narrowed, his expression pinching tight for a second. “You love me?”

Pointing behind me with an exasperated eye roll, I hollered at him, “I just sang you a song saying I did. I haven’t changed my mind in the last five minutes.”

“Say it.” His demand was short and terse, but it still made a smile jump onto my lips.

I placed my hand on his hips, just above that dang triangle that turned muscles into marshmallows. “I love you.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you. I love all of you, including that stupid, jealous head on your shoulders and that great big heart in there.” I tapped his chiseled chest before gazing down at his erection. With a grin, I wrapped my fingers around it. “This ain’t bad either.”

His eyes rolled north, and he tried to hamper that sweet groan he made whenever I touched him, but he couldn’t do it. I still heard that faint sigh.

A triumphant smile kissed my lips. “Say you forgive me, Josh.”

“I ain’t ready.” He practically squeaked the words, giving away his big, fat lie.

I squeezed him tighter, yanking hard and purring, “You ready now?”

His large hands landed on my head as if he needed help to stand, my furious stroking making his stomach muscles quiver and jerk.

“Say it, Joshie,” I sing-songed. “Or I’m getting out right now.”

He pressed his lips together, another moan rumbling in his throat.

“Okay, have it your way.” I let him go, flicking his hands off my face and turning to leave.

I didn’t get very far. Before I’d even finished my swivel, Josh grabbed my arm and turned me back to face him. Plucking me up off the bathtub floor as if I weighed nothing, he pressed me against the wall with just the right power to get my insides dancing. 

My back smacked against those cold tiles, and I couldn’t help a breathy giggle. I wrapped my legs around his waist and gripped his shoulders.

“I forgive you,” he whispered, planting a hard kiss on my lips. Our hungry tongues wound together, the heat of the kiss rivaling the hot spray pelting our skin. Josh pulled back, his breath sharp and hot on my lips. “I’ll always forgive you.”

He entered me then, so fast and hard I cried out, tipping my head to the ceiling as my insides did a triple back-flip. His wet lips massacred my neck while he drove into me, pounding me against that bathroom wall and giving me every reason in the world to fight and make up with him over and over again.

I gripped the back of his hair, pulling at the thick locks as he took me to that place only Josh could…a special kind of heaven reserved for lovers. The only place you could truly bare your soul and know you were still safe.

Heat pooled between my legs just thinking about Josh inside of me. An intense ache for him permeated my very core, making my stomach hurt. Snatching my purse, I yanked out my phone and went to dial his number. My thumb hovered over the screen. I’d missed a call from him. I frantically dialed voicemail and pressed the phone to my ear.

His deep, rich voice made me smile, but my lips soon dipped, my forehead crinkling. His sweet, awkward words had my legs buckling. I sank to the floor, sliding down that dirty door and hitting the hard wood beneath me. His voice petered out quickly and he ended the call.

“Sweet man,” I whispered, sucking in a shaky breath.

He was going to support me.

I shook my head, wriggling on the floor and tugging at the dress. It was so dang short, it couldn’t even cover my butt sitting the way I was.

With puffy breaths, I tore at the material, struggling to pull it off while not dropping my phone. I bunched it in my hands and threw it across the room before wrapping my arms around my legs. Resting my chin on my knees, I relished my curtain of hair, hiding me from the outside world as I gazed at my phone.

I couldn’t call him back.

There was no way he’d support what I’d done. He’d be madder than a mule chewing on bumblebees…and he had every right.

I was so ashamed.

“Acting like a damn fool, Rachel Myers!” I scolded myself. Tears near choked me. My dream had become ash before it’d even had a chance to flourish. I’d been gullible and careless, and I wanted to take back my signature with a fury.

Talk about humiliating.

“I’m sorry, Mama,” I sniffed. “I thought this was it. My lucky break. I should have known it was too good to be true. It was all just too easy, wasn’t it?” I stared up at the ceiling as if Mama was up there gazing down on me. “I can’t do it. I know you said whatever it takes, but this ain’t right. I’m not a show girl, I’m a singer.”

I had no idea what Mama was thinking right then. I’d be disappointed if I was her and that hurt real bad, but I’d hate myself even more if I let someone stick silver tassels on my nipples.

I gripped the phone in my hand, tempted to call Josh and tell him I was heading back to him.

But I couldn’t.

He’d want to know why, and then I’d have to explain. I couldn’t lie. That boy knew how to break me without even trying. Then he’d be all riled that they fooled me and annoyed that I didn’t take my time to do my research. No, I wouldn’t have it. I had to fix this and return with my head held high.

Josh wasn’t my savior, and I didn’t want to make him one.

He was my lover, my friend—maybe even the man I wanted to spend my life with—and I wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of that ever happening if I didn’t get out of the dang contract.

Chapter Sixteen

Josh

Sitting at the piano usually soothed me, but it didn’t seem to be happening. I tapped my pointer finger lightly on the keys so they didn’t make a sound. I didn’t know what to play. I was hardly in a honky-tonk mood, and the idea of playing a slow, melancholy tune was kind of depressing.

The bar was due to open in an hour. I’d already set everything up and was hoping for a quiet night. Poor Harriet was exhausted. I’d given her a night off, but even so… I really needed to cut her some slack and hire me a new girl.

My fingers dipped on the white keys, and I started playing the opening riff to “Walking In Memphis.” And then my voice joined in. Before I knew it, I was singing the song with gusto. It ended like it started, and the buzz I got from playing disappeared.

Rachel hadn’t called me back.

It’d been less than twenty-four hours, so I was possibly overreacting. I just thought she’d be on that phone in a heartbeat—all excited, happy that I was finally on board. I admit my message was poorly executed. I was a mumbling oaf when it came to feelings, but at least I’d tried. I wanted her to acknowledge that effort.

“Don’t be afraid to bare your soul, Josh.” Aunt Lindy’s voice was down to a hoarse whisper. Her days were numbered and we all knew it. She was the only one not afraid to talk about it, and whenever she tried, I cut her off at the pass. Her watery eyes glistened as she clutched my hand. “How you gonna love completely if you don’t give them all of yourself?”

Those words stuck with me for some reason. Rubbing a hand over my face, I rested my elbows lightly on the keys. The piano let out an off-key groan, but then went silent. I’d given Rachel all of myself, but I’d never told her how much I loved her. I might have said it when sex was involved—I couldn’t be sure. It was easy to mumble anything when she made my brain soft with her tiny hands and silken center.

But I’d never had it in me to look her in the eye and say it real gentle. I don’t know why, I guess it made me feel vulnerable somehow, like lifting back the cover on my soul. I’d never given anyone full access to that place. Not since Dad died. It seemed too risky. Like if I did, they’d find my weakness and destroy me.

The only way I managed to survive losing the people I loved was to put up a shield to keep me safe. But Rachel wasn’t dying, and if I ever wanted her back, be it tomorrow or in twelve months’ time, maybe she needed to hear those words from me.

Rising with a sniff, I adjusted my jeans and clomped over to the bar, snatching the phone off the counter before I could change my mind.

I dialed her number and blew out a breath as I raised it to my ear.

It rang once, twice, three times…and then went to voicemail.

My head jerked back with a frown, and I checked the screen to make sure I hadn’t done anything wrong.

But no.

Had she just ignored my call?

With a scowl, I pressed redial.

It rang once, twice…and went to voicemail again.

I wasn’t a fool. I’d counted the last time I’d called, and that phone had rung seven dang times.

Slapping the phone down on the counter, I muttered a curse. She’d cut the call twice, which meant she was either hiding something or she didn’t want to talk to me.

Both options were blades to my bones. Clenching my teeth, I resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room. I would have lost the battle, too, if Duke hadn’t started barking to let me know someone was coming in the back door.

Thank the Lord for Denny, ’cause I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t arrived when he did.