Home From Within (15 page)

They stayed to watch the heavyweight draft horse pull contest, clamoring onto the metal risers to find a place where Jason could see without anyone blocking his view. The arena smelled of hay, dirt, and manure, but Jessica loved it. Teams of two horses competed against each other to see which could pull the heaviest load the farthest. The team driver, usually an older man, sat on a flat sled loaded with concrete blocks, waiting for two men to hitch the team onto the sled. The horses then charged forward together, moving slowly ahead.

“Look, there’s that cute boy, Matt.” Aunt Lodi gestured to the far end of the arena where Matt was hitching his father’s team. His father looked to be about seventy years old. Another taller boy who looked a lot like Matt, but much blonder, was on the other side helping; Jessica assumed it was his brother. She didn’t think Matt was as cute as Aunt Lodi thought. But as she continued to watch him, the way he handled the team, how strong yet gentle he appeared, she started to see something she considered appealing: kindness.

As their last days together neared, Jessica decided it was time to inquire about the family’s past, craving the shared history and stories of her family.

Jason was sleeping, and Aunt Lodi and Jessica were in the kitchen preparing a picnic lunch for the next day’s adventure.

“Can I ask you something?” Jessica asked as she poured crackers into sandwich bags.

“Of course, anything,” Aunt Lodi said, reaching for a strainer in the cabinet to wash strawberries in.

“Who are Ermaline and Walker?”

Jessica jumped when Aunt Lodi dropped the metal strainer onto the floor.

“Dear Lord,” she said, and then looked at Jessica. “Where did you hear those names?”

“From Dad, the day I was supposed to hear stories.”

Aunt Lodi stared through Jessica for a minute, and then bent down carefully to pick up the strainer.

“What did he say about them?”

“He said they were
not
in a nursing home, unlike Buddy Akers.”

Aunt Lodi pursed her lips together then pulled a chair over to where she was standing and lowered herself down. She set the strainer on the counter and then studied her wide hands before she spoke.

“Buddy Akers killed our parents in a drunk driving accident. He was a wormy man, but everyone in town thought he was harmless. I guess he would’ve been if it hadn’t been for the drinking. I was eleven and Jim was seven when we became orphans. Those people you spoke about, they took us in because they were our closest kin even though we hardly ever saw them growing up.” Aunt Lodi wiped a few tears off her cheekbone with the back of her hand. “Our lives changed with the turn of a steering wheel.” Aunt Lodi stared deep into Jessica’s eyes. “I know you think your dad’s over the top sometimes, but he can’t help it—he really can’t.”

Jessica sat silent, breathing in the words that were just laid out. “So Ermaline and Walker are family?”

“No,” Aunt Lodi said fiercely, and then stood up. “They were associated by blood, that’s it.”

Jessica could feel the energy in the room twist with her effort to press for more information, but she bore on.

“Where are they now?”

“I’m sorry, honey, but I have to stop. The rest has to come from your dad.”

Jessica felt like a ball that was being held underwater. No matter how hard you push it down it wants to come up; it has to go somewhere. After many minutes of stillness, Jessica thanked Aunt Lodi, then thought it best to say good night and leave her alone. Aunt Lodi hovered over the kitchen sink, tears dropping in.

The last day at Aunt Lodi’s was spent celebrating Jessica and Jason’s birthdays. They were both born in September, and it played out the same way every year: a movie, lots of butter on the popcorn, roller-skating or swimming, homemade pizza with their favorite toppings, and of course presents. Aunt Lodi always bought them something to bring home and something to keep at her house.

Jessica was in complete shock when she opened up an envelope: horseback riding camp for one week in July next year. Jessica jumped up and hugged Aunt Lodi. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!”

As she sat back down, she wondered if Aunt Lodi were trying to play matchmaker. “Wait a minute, is this . . . ?”

“Don’t be silly. I wouldn’t embarrass you like that. Plus, they don’t offer lessons on Matt’s farm, only hay and sled rides.”

Jessica gave her a playful pinch and smiled brightly.

When Jessica returned home from Aunt Lodi’s, her father said he had to see Bob and told her she could come along too.

When Jessica arrived at Marilee’s, she was whisked up to her bedroom where, upon entering, the door was locked behind them. Before Jessica could recover from the speed of the moment, Marilee said she needed to tell her something important, and that she should sit down. Jessica slowly lowered herself onto Julie’s messy bed.

“So I went to the pool today and guess who I saw?”

Jessica was still in shock at how dramatic Marilee was acting. “Who?”

“Your boyfriend . . . and he was in rare form.”

Jessica’s heart sank. “What do you mean?”

“So, me, Barbara, and a couple of Barbara’s friends were sitting on our towels and talking. All of a sudden we hear a bunch of commotion right outside the fence of the pool.” Marilee sat down next to Jessica. “I look over and see Paul and two boys, who I later learned were his brothers, fighting a man. The man was getting stomped and then the man pulled out a knife.”

Jessica put her hands over her mouth and whispered, “Oh my God.”

“The lifeguard, the really cute one, jumped the fence and started talking the man down. He kept saying it was not worth going to jail over these kids, stuff like that. Two more lifeguards got out there and were able to break it up.”

“What happened to Paul?” Jessica asked, with her hands still covering half her face.

“Well, he kept trying to go after the guy, but one of the big lifeguards held him against the fence. His brothers backed off and stood by Paul until he calmed down, then they followed Paul into the park before the police arrived.”

“The police came?” Jessica put her hands down.

“Yeah, but the man refused to press charges. I heard from someone at the pool that Paul and his brothers jumped him because he beat up their mother.”

Jessica sat in silence, letting the information play out like a violent scene from the movie
Purple Rain.

Marilee’s bedroom was consumed by the direct heat of the evening sun. It was about ten degrees hotter in her room than the rest of the house, and sweat was starting to run down Jessica’s back and collect under her bra. She wiped sweat away from her hairline and looked back at Marilee.

“Did Paul see you?”

“Not sure. There was a huge crowd all crammed on the fence. Everyone was trying to see what was going on. I did get a good look at his brothers. They hardly look alike at all. One had blond hair and the other black. Weird.”

Jessica sat on the bench under her window staring at the full moon. She gave up trying to sleep when she saw it was 2:30 a.m.; her last look at the clock said 2:05 a.m. The house was quiet, and that’s how she moved around, not wanting to wake her father. Paul was on her mind. What kind of life was he living, that as a kid he would seek revenge on an adult in such fashion? Paul said his mom was a single parent but never mentioned his father. Even though Marilee’s description of the fight was disturbing, Paul never showed any violence toward Jessica. She was reminiscing about all their time together and never once did she feel as if he would physically harm her. She fell back on the knowledge that when they returned to school she would find out more about his life. Paul had said something, almost warning her, that his life was different and to be ready. Jessica frowned, thinking that her life was the one he really should beware of.

C
hapter
13

Besides Marilee reporting Paul’s actions outside the pool, he was spotted at a party that Eddie and Julie attended, drinking and smoking pot with his burnout friends. According to Marilee, Julie said that Alicia was hanging on him and trying to get him to go with her somewhere alone. Julie noticed that Paul treated Alicia like a friend and showed no interest in being with her or any other girls at the party. While the news was supposed to relieve Jessica, she could not help but feel tense about the drinking and smoking pot, which in her opinion were disgusting habits, although she didn’t think she had a right to say anything about it.

Jessica put on a purple dago tee and striped shirt that was designed to hang off the shoulders, but in her case, she wore it as conservatively as possible. As she pulled on a pair of jeans that were not as skintight as the rest of the teenage population’s, she pushed the Mace down into her front pocket in case her father inspected for it.

Before going down to breakfast, she made sure to double-check her fake schedule. It reflected that she had study hall from 3:15 p.m.–4:15 p.m. daily. She caught her reflection in the full-length mirror and tried not to call herself a liar. She reasoned that having a boyfriend was a normal part of being in high school, and if her parents were going to deny her that right, then she would do whatever it took to make it happen.

Her family was in the kitchen eating pancakes, eggs, and toast when Jessica entered. Her father stared at Jessica and asked if she was wearing makeup.

“No,” Jessica said, trying not to sound annoyed. She could see him glaring at her wardrobe.

“I think those jeans are too tight.”

She looked at him coolly. “They’re the same ones I wore freshman year. Aunt Lodi bought them in the spring.”

Upon hearing his sister’s name, he relaxed slightly. “You look too mature.”

Her mother interjected that Jessica was sixteen now and developing into a young woman.