Home is Where the Heart Is (11 page)

Andrew handed her, her drink and lit a cigarette for her.

"All right—fair enough, we'll come back to the other reason in a minute shall we? What I can't understand is why ever didn't you tell us you were Mary Meredith’s niece, and that you used to live in Cambrook, instead of pretending that you didn't even know the area."

Lindsey looked at him in amazement. She hadn't expected this. So Susan hadn't been his sole informant after all. "Who told you all this?" she demanded.

"Oh, that's easy. I ran into Colin Marks and the poor fellow obviously had no idea he was spilling the beans. He told me about your family home burning down, and leaving you with nowhere to stay—Rough luck."

"Yes," she said sadly. "White Chestnuts meant rather a lot to me, and it was a terrible shock to learn it was gone. At first I just couldn't believe it, but I saw for myself that afternoon you took me out, and somehow I just couldn't talk about it. When I had the chance of the post at Balliam Point, I jumped at it, because it gave me the opportunity of finding out just what had happened to White Chestnuts, and to be near enough to visit the Marks when they returned, but I thought
Mr. Kirkby mightn't like it if he thought I had an ulterior motive for taking the job, and so I didn't say anything. As for Aunt Mary, well, how was I to know you knew her for goodness sake! Any more than I realised you knew Colin Marks."

"True…but there is something much more to the point than all this, isn't there? If you're only here on holiday, just how much longer do you propose to stay in England?"

Lindsey coloured, caught unawares by Andrew's astuteness.

"If you must know that was the real reason why I didn't say anything about Kenya in the first place. After all, I'm a British citizen and I'm entitled to get a job here, but I thought that if
Mr. Kirkby discovered I was only in England for a few months he might not want to employ me on a short-term basis, and you see Rob and I really do need the money."

Andrew scratched his chin thoughtfully. "You can't evade the issue any longer, Lin—Have you reached any decisions yet about what you intend to do?"

She smiled ruefully. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I 'phoned Gavin last night in Nairobi. I've decided not to marry him and I'm staying on in England, at least for the time being, but I'm rather upset about it all and don't really want to discuss it at present. It's caused a lot of heartache all round."

He slipped a casual arm around her shoulder. "Then we'll drop the subject in just a moment." He snapped his fingers suddenly.

"The light dawns! I shouldn't really tell you this, I suppose, but Simon 'phoned earlier knowing you were visiting me tonight. He was concerned because you were upset about something, and asked if I knew anything about it, implying that it might be something to do with me."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry—I've told him I'm all right, but he won't believe me." She was touched at Simon's concern for
her, and ashamed at her outburst the previous evening.

"What are your plans then, Lin? Are you going to stay on at the Point?"

"Oh, I don't know at the moment, Andrew. I've still got to sort myself out."

"You know, my cousin will have a fit of apoplexy if you walk out on him overnight. He's beginning to depend on you far too much from what I can see of things."

She was startled. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Exactly what I say.
He never kept a housekeeper before you came—spoke of them as an alien race, as if they'd got the plague or something, but he entrusts you with his manuscript—you dine with him."

Her heart beat furiously. "Didn't the others?"

He laughed. "You didn't see the others! You bet your sweet life they didn't. You know, Lin, your living in Africa explains a lot that was puzzling me. Do you like Kenya?"

"It grows on you, Andrew, but it's so vast. You won't mention what we've been talking about to anyone else will you? At least not yet," she asked in sudden alarm.

"What do you take me for? An informer like young Sue?"

"No, of course not…Thank you for being so understanding, Andrew. Bless you," Lindsey said and kissed him on the cheek.

"Lin, you're a nice girl, and I reckon we're two of a kind, doormats for others to wipe their feet on."

"Really Andrew, the things you say. That wasn't exactly flattering, you know!" She disengaged herself gently from his arm. "And now I really must get back to Balliam Point."

"Okay, off you go then and drive carefully, there's a bit of ice about tonight . . . I suppose what you've told me about you and Gavin splitting up doesn't put a different complexion on our relationship, does it?"

She laughed. "You don't give up easily do you? No, Andrew, I'm afraid not, but thanks anyway."

He really was sweet, she reflected, as she left the flat, but it would not do to let herself become too involved, even though she was a free agent once again. Although she was relieved that everything was at last out in the open; she was aware of a strange emptiness. Oh why did she have to fall so hopelessly in love with the wrong person?

Sonia Vincent arrived for dinner on Wednesday evening looking more exotic than ever. She was wearing a lime-green gown with a plunge neckline; her hair was done in a Grecian style and long dangling jet earrings and necklace completed the effect. Beside her Lindsey felt plain and uninteresting, like a sparrow beside a peacock.

Sonia asked if she could powder her nose, and Lindsey led her upstairs to one of the guest rooms. Susan came flying in.

"Aunty Sonia, you've arrived…I didn't hear the doorbell. Oh what a gorgeous dress…! Is that the necklace daddy gave you?"

"Oh hallo, Susan…Yes, this is the necklace your father gave me for Christmas…It is a beautiful gown, isn't it, darling? I modelled a similar creation for Vogue, as a matter of fact. There are some sweets for you and Tommy in my bag, darling, if you look. No, on second thoughts you'd better not, in case you break my perfume."

"Oh, I'll be very careful, I promise—
Can I have a little? Is it very expensive?"

"Yes, darling, very…Just a teeny weeny spray then—there."

"Oh, thank you," Susan went to kiss her, but Sonia backed away.

"Do be careful, Susan you'll ruin my make-up." Susan coloured. "Oh, there now, you've made me spill powder on my skirt…You are a clumsy girl!"

Susan's eyes filled with tears, and Lindsey felt a sharp stab of anger against this thoughtless woman.

"Tommy, why are you lurking by the door?" Sonia demanded, suddenly catching sight of him.

"I don't go into ladies' bedrooms," Tommy remarked, and then curiosity overcame him. "I say, aren't you cold like that?"

"Tommy!" Lindsey rebuked sharply. "Run along now, and you, Sue. I'll see you both presently."

They both went with a bad grace, and Sonia reached for her mink stole. It was a cold house, as Andrew had commented on Lindsey's arrival.

"Those children are quite impossible. Why Simon doesn't send them away to boarding school, I really can't imagine." Sonia applied fresh lipstick and even more of the heady perfume. Just what she was trying to do to Simon, Lindsey really could not imagine. She wondered what Simon's reaction would be if she turned up dressed like Sonia. Not that she possessed such a stunning gown of course. He probably wouldn't even notice her, she realised sadly.

"Just do my hook up, will you?—I've been meaning to ask you, Miss Meredith —How long do you intend to remain here?"

The question took Lindsey completely by surprise. "Why, I hadn't really thought about it. After all it's really a question of how long
Mr. Kirkby needs me, but the appointment is permanent, you know."

Sonia's eyes narrowed. "Indeed. Of course, if you considered your reputation, you wouldn't be here at all."

Lindsey felt the colour rise to her cheeks. "Just what are you implying?"

Sonia shrugged her beautiful shoulders. "Oh nothing, nothing at all, but I shouldn't play too much on Simon's good nature if I were you. Nor for that matter on Andrew's. You may or may not know that they have both proposed to me on more than one occasion."

The situation was too ludicrous for words. Lindsey laughed dryly.

"Well, you can only marry one of them —unless of course you're contemplating bigamy."

Sonia's amber eyes flashed. "I'd remember who you're talking to, if I were you. I shall speak to Simon about this."

"Do so by all means," Lindsey said sweetly. "I'm sure he would be most interested to know what you've just told me."

Sonia swept out of the room, leaving Lindsey to stare after her. Why did some people have everything their way, and others nothing, she wondered wretchedly.

Fortunately,
Mrs. Parker was staying late to help out, and so Lindsey let her serve the meal, merely staying in the kitchen to supervise things. She wasn't accustomed to being jealous, but she was tonight, and it made her feel thoroughly miserable. She was only thankful that Simon had not invited her to join them for coffee again, for she couldn't bear to see Sonia flirting with him.

Lindsey escaped upstairs at the earliest opportunity, feeling
more unhappy than she ever remembered. She would have to take another job. She could not go on in this way, loving and being unloved, but wouldn't it be worse not to see Simon at all?

"Merry, why can't you watch television with us?
You're always typing nowadays," complained Tommy, when she brought him his hot drink.

"Because I've got to get this work done for your father."

"Merry, why did Uncle Andrew come to see you at Sue's school yesterday?" So Susan had seen him. Lindsey sighed inwardly.

"He had something to tell me, that's all. Now hurry up with that milk—Sue's finished her bath, and you're still up."

Tommy pretended not to hear. "Sue's mad because she thinks Uncle Andrew's nuts about you."

Lindsey was amused. "That’s not true, Tommy."

" At first she thought Uncle Rob was your boyfriend in England, but then when she found out he was your brother she was sure it must be Uncle Andrew, 'cos he's always coming to see you. She thinks you tricked her on purpose."

"Uncle Andrew and I are only friends you know." She dropped a kiss on his forehead. Tommy chewed a sweet thoughtfully.

"Merry, is it true that you used to live in Africa?"

"I suppose Susan told you that as well I guess she's been reading my
letters, hasn't she?"

He nodded. "She says you've got an African boyfriend who writes to you a lot…Merry are you going back there?"

"No, Tommy, not for quite some time, anyway--And now you really must go to bed. Just look at the time!"

"I'm glad you're not going back to Africa…Hey, wasn't that Sonia's dress disgusting? You could see her chest!"

"Tommy, it's meant to be like that, and it really is a very lovely dress—quite respectable."

"Well, I don't like that Sonia. Heck
d'you suppose Daddy is really going to marry her?"

"I honestly wouldn't know, Tommy, and anyway, even if he was, he wouldn't tell me, and now hurry up and clean your teeth."

"Okay, I'm going—Have a liquorice torpedo." He offered her a crumpled bag.

When Tommy and Sue had finally gone to bed, Lindsey went back into the sitting room to type. Tommy had given her a great deal to think about. Now that she wasn't returning to Africa, she had to consider her future very carefully. She had banked on staying here for some time, but if Simon married Sonia…

"No," she said aloud to the typewriter. He couldn't marry Sonia—He just couldn't. She pounded the typewriter keys viciously. Simon was too good for Sonia and, anyway, she didn't care about the children.

Lindsey suddenly realised just what Balliam Point and the children had come to mean to her, quite apart from Simon. There was a physical pain in her heart, as she thought of her love for Simon, though he did not give her the slightest encouragement. She meant nothing to him at all. No more than a piece of furniture. Oh, what a hopeless situation it was.

She heard laughter from downstairs and muted voices. What must it be like to be Sonia? Vivacious and beautiful, with two men in love with her. Which one would win her?—Please not Simon. Lindsey sighed deeply, and went on typing, no longer registering what she was copying out.

Chapter Seven

When Lindsey returned from taking the children to school the following morning, Simon called her into the breakfast room.

"Tommy came in specially before he left to say you hadn't had any breakfast, so come and have some now with me. Mrs. Parker's cooked a double portion, on my orders, and it's piping hot…Look at the sky—There's snow in the air."

Lindsey sat down thankfully and began to pour the coffee. "I had to mend Sue's skirt because I forgot last night."

"Oh, so that's what all the kerfuffle was about earlier on."

Lindsey nodded wearily, recalling the petulant scene when Susan had discovered her skirt had not been mended.

"Sue's impossible. I just don't know how to handle her these days…Sometimes I feel so helpless, as if I'm just not doing my best by her." He frowned and buttered a piece of toast twice absently.

For the first time, Lindsey noticed the slight silver
tinging his temples, and the tired creases under those deep-set grey eyes and her love for him welled up inside her like a fountain. She longed to comfort him.

"She's verging on adolescence, that's all. She's bound to go through a difficult phase, most children do…And not having a mother."

He sighed. "She's so much like Lucy, it's just not true."

"And Tommy?" prompted Lindsey, gently.

Simon's expression softened. "Oh Tommy—Thomas is a rare mixture of both of us," he laughed. "You know if it does snow, we'll have that old toboggan out and we'll go over the heath on Saturday."

"I've got rather a lot of typing still to do," Lindsey said, her heart pounding wildly.

"Oh, it can surely wait for one morning?"

Lindsey willed it to snow. "Would it be selfish to pray for snow, do you suppose?"

Simon laughed. "Well, you could always try…”

The 'phone in the study rang shrilly, making Lindsey jump. It was Rob wanting to know if she had contacted Gavin yet.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I have."

"So, don't keep me in suspense. What did you tell him?"

"That I'm staying in England, and not marrying him."

Rob gasped audibly. "You—you what…! Lindsey you're having me on!"

"He was naturally rather upset."

"I'll bet he was… and what about father? Did you 'phone him too?"

"I'm not exactly made of money, Rob. It's fearfully expensive and, besides, I don't think he's in Nairobi with Gavin this time. I didn't actually get around to asking."

There was a pause whilst Rob digested all this and then he asked,

"What do you plan to do then, Lin, now that you're not returning to Africa?"

"Oh, I don't know, stay here for the moment, at any rate—at least until I've sorted myself out and then, afterwards…I just can't think ahead. Something will crop up, no doubt."

"Father will go spare when he finds out you're not returning to Kenya. I wonder if he'll purchase the ranch in spite of your decision?"

"Rob, I honestly don't think father will buy it for you, so don't bank your hopes on it. He might put Gavin there as manager after all and get a temporary manager for the home ranch, just until you're trained."

Rob snorted, "Pigs might fly."

"Well, when can I expect to see you, Robin?"

"As a matter of fact I'm dating Valerie Marks so it could be anytime."

"Oh Rob, I am glad—She's such a nice girl."

"I agree. Well it's going to snow, so the weather man says—that should please you Lin, at any rate. Anyway I better go. Speak soon, ‘bye.”

It did snow that night, and there was quite a blanket by the following morning. Tommy came rushing into Lindsey's room at half past six. "Hey wake up Lindy, it's snowing!"

Lindsey sat up drowsily and looked at her watch. "Tommy, you didn't even knock!"

"Daddy says we can take the toboggan. You'll come too won't you, Lindy…Why don't you always have your hair like that—it's pretty."

"Don't you know small boys shouldn't make comments like that, Tommy? And who said you could call me 'Lindy', may I ask?"

Tommy bounced up and down on Lindsey's bed, chanting, "It's snowing! It's snowing!"

"Tommy, pack it in, you'll wake the whole household! Go back to bed for a little while."

"Oh, do come and look out of the landing window."

Lindsey, reluctant to be dragged from her warm bed, shrugged on her dressing gown and allowed herself to be led to the landing, where looking out onto a silver white landscape, she re-entered the magical world of her childhood.

"Yippee!" shouted Tommy, unable to contain himself any longer.

"
Ssh, Tommy!" But it was too late—the door of Simon's room flew open and he appeared, tying the belt of his dressing gown.

"Whatever are you two doing here, waking up decent folk who want to sleep?" he demanded.

"Daddy it's snowing—Come and look!" And they stood there, the three of them. Lindsey, aware of his closeness and of her dishevelled hair felt the colour rise to her cheeks.

"You've certainly had your prayers answered, and now that you've succeeded in waking me up we might as well have some tea."

Lindsey made the tea, found her slippers and combed her hair, so that it lay like a golden mantle about her shoulders.

They sat in Tommy's room, drinking tea, laughing and talking just like any ordinary family, Lindsey realised with a sudden sense of shock. She smiled to herself, as she realised how shocked some people, including her father, would be. Until Sonia and Rob had mentioned it, it had never occurred to her what a compromising situation she had put herself into.

"I think Merry will be good at tobogganing, don't you, Tommy?"

"Yes, super—
You should have seen Susan last year, Merry. There she was, legs waving in the air. She did look a scream."

A slight sound from the doorway caused them to turn around Susan was standing there, an odd expression on her face. "Oh, I did, did I? I might have known you'd all be in here having a good time—leaving me out of it, as usual."

"Don't be so silly, Susan, we didn't want to wake you, that was all," said her father.

"Oh, no, and then you talk about me behind my back, poking fun at me when I'm not here to defend myself."

"Susan don't be so ridiculous—Do you want some tea…? Susan!"

"I'll go after her," said Lindsey, feeling uncomfortable.

"No, leave her, she'll get over it. Well, I don't know about you folk, but I'm getting dressed now. We might as well have an early breakfast, and get off for this walk."

Lindsey hurriedly got dressed in slacks and sweater and tied her hair back with a piece of ribbon,
then she went into Susan's room and drew back the curtains. Susan lay hunched up on the bed, apparently asleep.

"Susan, are you going to get up now—we're going for a walk after breakfast." No response. Lindsey sighed and went downstairs to the kitchen, where there was already an appetising smell of porridge and bacon.
Mrs. Parker gave her an odd look, surprised no doubt to see her out of uniform.

"Going out, Miss Meredith?"

"Yes, we're all going for a walk on the heath, as a matter of fact, Mrs. Parker."

Mrs.
Parker's eyebrows nearly shot into her hair line. "D'you mean Mr. Kirkby as well?" She flipped an egg over so hard that it broke.

Oh dear, thought Lindsey wryly, surely the servants hadn't started speculating.

After breakfast there was still no sign of Susan, and so Lindsey took a tray up to her. There was a hump of bedclothes. "Susan, we're going out in about half an hour if you want to come…Susan are you awake?" The blankets moved, and Susan's face appeared.

"I heard you, and I'm not coming. Who wants to go traipsing around the heath in weather like
this. You must be mad."

"What are you going to do then, Sue?" Susan shot her a look which told her plainly to mind her own business, and then rolled over to face the wall again. Lindsey sighed and gave up. "Well, don't let your breakfast get cold. I'll see you at lunch-time then."

As Lindsey collected her outdoor things, a few moments later, she saw Simon coming from Susan's room. He too, had obviously been unsuccessful in his attempt to persuade her to join the outing.

"Stubborn young monkey—just like her mother…Come on let's get going. We'll just have to leave her to it, but it's a pity." They loaded the toboggan into the back of the car. Lindsey caught sight of
Mrs. Parker peering at them through the kitchen window, her mouth pursed in disapproval.

The snow glittered gold in the sudden sunlight. It was a fairy tale world. Simon was amused at Lindsey's expression of rapture. What a child she looked with her shining eyes and her hair tied with ribbon. He wished the simple things of life had pleased Lucy, but even expensive gifts had failed to produce any response from her.

"Oh, look—isn't that wood beautiful!"

Lindsey exclaimed, as they sped down white lanes. At last they reached their destination. Lindsey gazed about her in wonder. She had waited eight long years for this. The pristine snow crunched crisply underfoot. It was almost sacrilegious to walk on it.

"Hey look at me! Look at me!" cried Tommy. Lindsey turned to look, lost her balance and promptly sat down. Tommy laughed. Simon ahead turned sharply, he too lost his balance came slithering down the slope and sat down heavily beside Lindsey. Tommy's laughter was contagious, and they all joined in.

"Hey Lindy, you've got snow on your nose. You do look funny."

"Come on Lindsey Meredith—upsi-daisy." Simon caught hold of her hand, and an electric tremor ran up Lindsey's arm so that, for a moment, she was quite powerless to move. Simon retained her hand until they regained the top of the slope. Lindsey was completely bemused; Gavin had never had this effect on her.

"Hey Lindsey, are you with us or have we left you sitting back there?" His sudden use of her Christian name seemed natural. She wanted to run and jump and shout to the world about her love for him, like the words of the song, "I'm in love with a wonderful guy." She felt exhilarated, happier than she had been for
weeks, refusing this morning to admit to herself that it was all quite useless.

"Hey Lindy, come down on the toboggan with me first—Come on!" shouted Tommy. They went rushing down the slope to collapse at the bottom in a flurry of powdery snow. Lindsey, her face animated, looked delightfully young and attractive.

"Right, now it's my turn," announced Simon.

"Daddy you can't take Lindy you're too heavy."

"We'll see about that my lad—Ready, Lindsey?"

They arrived at the bottom in a heap, hidden momentarily from view by a clump of fir trees. He reached out to help her up, and quite suddenly, she was in his arms and he was kissing her in a way that she had never experienced before. It was as if they had entered a magical world of their own, just the two of them. Time was suspended—this was surely the nectar of true love—but, as abruptly, he released her, his grey eyes clouding over.

"Lindsey Meredith—I suppose I ought to apologise, but I'm dashed if I'm going to," and he moved away from her. "Tommy, where are you?"

Lindsey, rather shaken by the speed of events, felt as if she was having a delicious dream from which she would awake at any moment, but there was a warm glow in her heart. Surely this must mean that he cared just a little for her—that kiss hadn't been exactly casual.

The sky was grey and leaden; it began to snow again.

"Come on we'd better get back to the car—Lindsey, you're frozen!"

He took both her and Tommy by the hand, and they ran down the slope, picking up the toboggan at the bottom. It was a happy trio who drove back through the wood. They stopped at a little café on the way home for coffee.

"Would your wife and your little boy like some home-made scones and jam?" asked the motherly-looking waitress.

Simon said gravely, "Yes please, they would."

Tommy laughed. "That lady thinks you're daddy's wife," he said in a stage whisper, as the waitress disappeared into the kitchen.

"Well let's not embarrass her by telling her she's wrong," said Simon, and they all three laughed. Events had shown Lindsey just what she wanted from life but, unfortunately, she could hardly hope that her joy would last.

As soon as they reached the house they realised something was wrong, for Mrs. Parker was in a dreadful state.

"
Mr. Simon, young Susan's gone out, and I don't know where."

"Well, that's not so very serious is it,
Mrs. P? She was in a bit of a mood this morning, and I daresay she's gone for a walk to work it off. She'll probably end up at Katy Browne's. She'll come home when she's hungry, you'll see."

Mrs.
Parker looked unconvinced and by two o'clock, Simon was beginning to get anxious himself.

"Well, she's not at Katy Browne's. God knows where else I can try, and she's taken her post office savings book too. I haven't a clue how much is in it, but sufficient to get her half-way across England, I should imagine."