Honor Thy Thug (18 page)

Kay looked at me as if to say,
Nigga, have you lost your mind?
He opened his food container and fixed himself a plate. He then said, “That’s all fine and dandy,
if
you live to spend it. How do you expect, just like that”—he snapped his fingers—“to go from one organization to its rival organization?”

“They aren’t rivals, Kay. They both have different hustles, different territories.”

“You told the Dons you wanted out. Now you’re going to sign on with somebody different? Trae, I don’t think you are thinking clearly.”

“Just like before and always, to answer your question, I’ll go to the Dons out of respect. Nobody owns me, Kay. Fuck all that! We’re talkin’ twenty mil in three years? Seven a year. Come on, son, that’s a no-brainer.”

“You gonna let him lock you in for three years? Nigga, you dumber than I thought.” He looked at me, laughed, and then ate a little of his food.

“Whatever, nigga.” I sat down in front of him to look him in the eye. “He’s making my charges go away. And you know I ain’t tryna go visit nobody’s prison. Especially since California is a death-penalty state.”

“Trae, he knew the perfect carrot to dangle in front of you. Can’t you see that?”

“So are you in or what? You making the move with me? My mind is already made up.”

Kay took a deep breath. “Let me be clear. He dangled that carrot because he needs you. Up that 20 mil a little. Make it worth your while. And if you make that move, ain’t no turning back. You know you’re claiming MOL.”

“MOL? What the fuck is that?”

“Money Over Life, nigga.”

I pushed my food away from me, stood up, and went over to the window to peer out over the Manhattan streets. Kaylin was right, and I knew it. If I made this move, there would be no turning back. If I took the offer I would be back in the game. I knew that was a huge risk. Death or prison. Either way I was rolling the dice. Then there was the matter of Don Carlos. What would he say? More important, what would he do? I knew that if I ever decided to get back in, it was supposed to be with the same team. Especially since I bitched so hard to get out. And then there’s Tasha. But all I could see was twenty mil in three years. All I needed was those three.

Kay wasn’t finished trying to make sure that I knew what I was going up against. “I’m telling you, Don Carlos ain’t gonna want to hear this shit. And the wives? Whenever they find out, they gonna shit bricks.”

I grinned, not at the truth of his statement but at the shitting of bricks part. And he’d said “wives.” Meaning his, too. He was in. But ironically, I thought about what his punk-ass brother had said. “Yeah, your brother said we got soft.”

“Man, fuck Kyron! He crazier than a muthafucka. We spent damn near twelve years in the game, walked away without a long sentence, still breathing, and legit. Sheeit. That ain’t soft. That’s
genius! Now you at my door talking about going back in?” He looked at me. “That’s not genius, that’s fuckin’ crazy.”

“Kay, I’m telling you, this here game is on a whole ’notha level, though. You’re telling me twenty mil in three don’t excite you? Then cool. I can respect that. Maybe I will get him to up to thirty. You know I want my right arm to ride with me, but if you feel you gotta do your shit legit, I understand. But I gotta do me.” I started for the door but stopped. “Do me one favor. I’ma need you to take it to Don Carlos. Coming from you, he’ll more than likely go for it.”

I also started to tell him out of respect that it was time for me to handle Kyron. But I thought better of it. I needed him to keep his mind on talking to Don Carlos for me. I’d deal with Kyron later.

Oni had them dig up Lil’ Faheem and bring his body back to the funeral home. I had never heard of such a thing, but Faheem wasn’t having it any other way. We suspected that she had an insurance policy on his son, and that’s why she was so in a hurry to lay him to rest.

On one hand, I was happy that Faheem was finally able to lay Lil’ Fah to rest. On the other, it tore me up to see him bury his son. There was only me, him and the funeral director at the funeral. He cried like a baby. I didn’t know what to do or say to console him, I was so so caught off guard. After all of these years, I had never seen that side of my husband before. I moved to the row behind him and left him alone. He kept mumbling why did this have to happen and if he could only have one more chance. He said he took full responsibility. He said some prayers in Arabic over and over. Finally, I heard him mumble, “Forgive
me Allah for the lives I am about to take.” He was ready to go after that statement.

Afterward I couldn’t get him to eat, and sleeping had become his escape. When he wasn’t sleeping, he just sat in his chair and stared out the window.

I hated her even more now, and the fact that Faheem was not being gung ho about splitting the bitch’s wig only added more fuel to the fire. I knew he had a cast on his leg, but there was nothing wrong with his mouth or his will. So what I did was tell him I needed to take a trip to Cali to check on Kyra. Tasha had called and was talking some mess about admitting Kyra into a mental institution. To me, it sounded like she was the one who needed to be admitted. But on my way to Cali, I’d stop in Jersey, to check on my granny and recruit somebody to make the moves I needed to make down here in Georgia.

I checked on my granny, who was doing surprisingly well. She was glad to see me, because she wanted me to promise her that I wouldn’t put her in a nursing home. She was adamant about staying in the house she’d lived in for more than thirty years. I tried not to promise that I wouldn’t admit her, but she wouldn’t let me leave without doing so. After I hung out with her for a while, Snell finally hit me back and said that I could come by and see him.

As I drove through the streets of Trenton, my spirit felt heavy because I saw how the quality of the city had gone down. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was the same as every other hood in America. It was just that my hood had gotten older, and the city that raised me was now rundown and raggedy. And it was around 2000 or 2001 that it became full of Crips and Bloods, something I would never have imagined. But I had family who were active members of both.

Faheem’s cousin Snell still lived on Hoffman Ave. but in a different house. He had been living on this street since I was in the fourth grade. I remembered when the park, the basketball court, and the recreation center down the street were full of life. But now either the drug dealers had taken over or everything was abandoned. No more green grass. All I saw was broken bottles, beer cans, cigarette butts and empty crack vials. Where did the children play?

“Jaz, I know Faheem don’t know nothing about you being here,” he said as soon as I walked up onto the front porch. I zipped my jacket. It was brisk outside.

“He knows I’m in Trenton but not here, and you’re not going to tell him.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because I have a nice proposition for you.”

“Jaz, you better let Faheem handle his biz. You ain’t mixing me up in your bullshit. I know what you want. But if he wouldn’t allow me and G to do anything, he damn sure don’t want you even thinking about it.”

“Snell, Faheem has not gotten over losing his seed yet. He is immobile, and muthafuckas killed his only son, and you’re talkin’ about don’t do anything? It will be our little secret, and if anything goes down, I’ll take the weight. He will never know you was involved. Did I mention the pay is nice?” I looked him in his eyes. “If you’re not down to help a family member out, then my money don’t discriminate. I can easily get the next man. I need to use your bathroom.” I said as I walked past him into the house.

I wanted him to marinate on my offer before he told me no. He was loyal to Faheem, but at the same time, he was loyal to that almighty green, and plus, I was family. Faheem told me years
ago, if anything ever happened to him and I needed some muscle, to go see Snell first. As soon as I came out of the bathroom, I told him just that. So technically, I wasn’t doing anything against Faheem’s wishes.

“Jaz, I know you gonna go out there and do it anyway. And Fah would kill me if you went to someone else and shit went south. So it’s obvious that I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. But I still would feel at ease if I told him first.”

“You can’t do that. I’m telling you, Fah is not in his right state of mind right now. Think about it. His son died right there in his arms. It’s like he’s shell-shocked. We gotta do this for him and do it now. Are you in, or are you out?” I was done trying to convince him that I had a crisis on my hands. I had said all that I was going to say. Whether he was in or out, either way I was still going to do me. I know it was crazy for me to ask Snell to help me kill muthafuckas. Shit, if he was a real killer he should be about killing anybody if the price was right. Steele needed to be got. He didn’t have to kidnap a child just because he had a beef with the mother. And as far as she was concerned the bitch exposed her son to the madness, so it would be justice done.

I woke up the other morning and had made up my mind that I was going to see Rick. He would have to face me since he didn’t take any of the hundreds of calls I made to him. I snuck away and got the first thing smoking out to Tucson, Arizona, to see him. I got the address from snooping around in Trae’s man cave in the basement. When I jumped out of the tinted vehicle, Rick looked as if he wanted to jump out of his skin. I couldn’t blame
him; there I was right down the street from his house. He was the one who told me that he walked the kids to school every day, and then he would head back home to change and go shoot some hoops. I had perfect timing.

“Kyra? What are you doing out here? How did you know where—”

“Shut up! Stop right there. You couldn’t answer my calls nigga! What—” I had to stop myself. Seeing him had me on a whole nother level.

“Return them and say what, Kyra? That I want to be with the both of you?” He grabbed my arm and began walking me in the opposite direction of his house.

“Is that what you would have said?”

“At this moment, yes. I have feelings for Nina, and she’s carrying my baby.”

“So what about me?”

“I never stopped loving you Kyra. Even Nina knows that.”

I had to stop him right there. “That’s all bullshit, Rick. You have feelings for her, but you love me? That’s some bullshit! I’ll tell you what. You need to go to her and tell her what you just told me. And you know what she’s going to say? Pack your shit, Rick! That’s what she’s going to say. So go do that now, and I’ll wait for you. Let’s settle this shit once and for all.”

“Kyra, you ain’t gonna do shit but get in that car and take your ass back to Tasha’s. Let me handle the situation the way I see fit.”

“You need to handle your business right now. If you don’t, I will. I got your address, Rick. You don’t want me to come to your house with my bullshit because it won’t be pretty. I will see you later.” I snatched my arm away and headed back to my limo. The chauffeur jumped out, ran around to the back passenger side,
and opened the door. As soon as I got in, Rick was getting in behind me. It was just me and him in the back and I was ready to cuss him out.

“Rick, go handle your business or—”

“Or what, Kyra?” He had grabbed me around my neck and pushed me back. “Or what?”

I couldn’t breathe. He was pulling away at my shorts. I was stunned. No, this nigga wasn’t getting ready to take my pussy. While I was trying to get his hand from around my throat, he was pulling my shorts down over my feet.

“Or what? Kyra?”

My nails dug into his arms. But now he was opening my legs with his knee, and he was pulling his dick from his sweats. I dug my nails deeper. His dick was now at my opening. He squeezed my throat tighter. His dick tore through me as he took his other hand, placed it under my ass, and grabbed it, pulling me closer, making his dick go deeper. He fucked me hard. In and out, he pounded furiously. I felt as if I was floating.

When I came to, Rick was kissing my breast. He was still hard inside me, grinding nice and slow. I wrapped my legs around his waist and began to fuck him back. He began to moan. I dug my nails into his ass cheeks, forcing him to go deeper. I couldn’t get enough of his dick.

“Fuck me, Rick! Fuck me, Rick!” I screamed. I felt as if I was on a Ferris wheel that was speeding. Then I felt the tingle, the waves, and then contractions. I started coming. The way Rick was banging my back out, I guessed he was coming, too. He gave me a bliss filled mind-altering orgasm. And he thinks I could let him go.

After what felt like an eternity, Rick rose up off me, handed
me my shorts, and fixed his clothes. Then he leaned over and kissed me passionately.

“You know I love you more than anything, right?” I nodded. “Then let me do this my way.”

He got out of the limo. I rolled the window down and said, “Rick, I love you, too. But don’t keep me waiting.”

I was dog-tired but had finally made it to Tasha’s. I’d thought I was going to be able to jump into a hot bubble bath and get under the covers. But instead, I was greeted by the drama queen looking discombobulated wearing bright pink Victoria’s Secret PJs. Her eyes were red and puffy.

“Tasha, what happened? Why are you crying?” I set my bags down.

“I’m not crying. I’m just upset.” Oh shit. This was going to be a long night. I went to hug her.

“Let me call Faheem to let him know I’m here. Do you have any herbal tea?” She nodded. “Can I get a slice of lemon with that? Please?” I saw that smart-ass look on her face. “I said please.” She waved me off and headed for the kitchen.

I pulled out a White Owl wrap from my $2,500 Michael Kors snake tote. I had hid a small case holdin’ that loud and went to rolling me a blunt while dialing Faheem.

“Hey.” Faheem answered the phone.

“Hey, babe, just wanted to let you know that I’m at Tasha’s. Are y’all all right?”

“We good.”

“You sound good, but why are you still up?” It was almost two-thirty in the morning East Coast time.