Honor Unraveled (31 page)

“Oh, we’ll be up,” Kit answered.

Outside, Ivy heaved a relieved sigh. She sent Roy a look, catching the strained lines in his face. “That was awkward.”
 

“Ivy….I didn’t realize you lived here. With them. I thought you lived by yourself.”

“It’s a recent change.”

“But you’re living with your ex.”

She faced Roy. “Yes. I’m living with my ex. And I’m very sorry to say this to you, after you went to so much trouble to come up here, but I can’t go out with you tonight. I don’t want to go out with you tonight.” Wow, that felt good. She smiled. “Thank you for helping me realize that. Have a safe drive back down the mountain. And, Roy? You can erase my number from your phone. And don’t email me anymore.”

Greer went behind the bar to the small fridge and pulled out a beer. “There’s something about that guy I didn’t like.” He looked at Kit. “Besides the fact that he’s taking Ivy out. I mean, the guy lives in Denver. He can't find a local girl there?"

"You saying Ivy ain't worth the drive up here?” Kit asked in a quiet voice.

Greer popped the cap on his beer and drew a long swig. “Nope. I'm saying what's wrong with him that the Denver girls have figured out?”

He and Kit exchanged a long look. “Shit.” Kit pivoted and headed across the living room as the front door opened and Ivy came back in. She looked odd. Her sweater hung in a limp drape from one hand and her purse from the other.

“Ivy.” Kit moved toward her. “What happened?”

She shook her head. Her jaw seemed locked shut. An enormous tear rolled down her face, quickly followed by one on the opposite cheek.

“Aw, honey. Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. Where's Roy?”

“He left.”

“What? He drove all this way and then left?”

“Yeah. I sent him packing.”

“You did?” Kit came forward and took hold of her face. He was smiling. He kissed her temple, then swiped her tears away. “Wait here. I’ll go change. You look so pretty. I don’t want to waste your special evening. Let me take you to dinner.”

Ivy shook her head. “I’m done.” She stepped around him and started down the hall to her room. Kit stood frozen in place for a minute, until he heard her broken gasp for air and saw her wipe her eyes with her wrist. He jogged after her. When he caught up with her, he lifted her up in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Her purse banged against his back. She bent her face into the crook of his neck and gave in to her tears.
 

He carried her to her room and kicked the door shut behind them. An armchair was near the window. He’d no sooner sat down in it, than she moved out of his lap. She kicked her sandals off, then pulled her earrings free and dropped them in a dish.
 

“Iv, wouldn’t you like to go out still?”

“No.”

“Babe, you're killing me. Please don’t be sad.”

“I’m not sad. I’m mad.”

Kit stood up. It was much easier to deal with a whirlwind when standing on his feet. “Look, he snowed you. It happens.”

“This isn’t about him.”

“Then what’s it about?”

“You. I didn’t even want him. I wanted to want him. Any of them. Don’t you see?” She stopped pacing around the room and looked at him.

“No. I don’t.”

“I wanted a father for Casey.”

“She has a father.”

“Yes, but she needs a father who will be there for her. Someone who’ll help her with homework and go see her school plays and events.”

“I'll do those things.”

“Now, yes. But before you came back, I didn’t know that. That’s when I met Roy. I was looking for a husband. I wanted a family. A little house and soccer games and more kids. I wanted a simple life. I wanted Casey to have no bigger worries than what her complexion would be like on a date night. I wanted to be on the PTA and be a room mother.” She looked at him, tears running down her eyes. “I wanted to be average. Normal. Safe. Why is that so bad?”

“It’s not.” He could barely hear his own answer. He doubted she heard him with the storm raging around her.

“The guys I organized dates with were the first ones, in years, that I even considered dating. I haven’t been intimate with a man in three years,
three years
, before you came back. Do you know why?”

He shook his head. “Not a clue.”

“Because none of them were you, and I hadn’t even met the grown-up you yet. I was comparing all the guys I met to the boy you. And the now you is so much better than the boy you. I don’t have a prayer in heaven of being free of the now you.” She looked at him and pulled a broken breath. “Because the now you is everything I ever wanted in a man. You’re in my heart and in my soul and in my skin. The thought of being without you kills me. And I can’t have you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I keep putting you off. I’ve turned you away.”

“Oh, fuck that. I didn’t leave, did I?”

Her breath hitched. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because you’re my woman, Ivy. I may not have been the man you wanted, but you were everything I wanted. I couldn't move on without you. I had to at least know you were safe and happy, even if I died doing it.”

She started to unbutton her shirt. He watched her flip one button and then another free, opening the lapels of her white blouse to show a leopard-print bra that cupped ridiculously full breasts. She wiggled out of her slim jean skirt, baring sleek hips and narrow, high-cut leopard briefs.

Kit’s mouth went dry. His hands ached to touch all that soft skin she was exposing. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to climb into my pajamas and bury myself under the pillows until it’s time to pick Casey up.”

“That’s a rotten use of the time. We could be doing something much more fun in your bed.”

Kit pulled his T-shirt free from his jeans and yanked it over his head. He braced a foot on the chair and removed his KA-BAR sheath, then untied his boots, kicked them off, and removed his socks.

Ivy eyed him warily. “What are you doing?”

He looked her over. “I’m going to put that body to better use than a week-long hibernation.” She was a petite thing, but he liked the differences in their sizes. She backed up as he approached until the wall stopped her retreat.
 

Her breasts were heavier than the younger Ivy, her hips rounder. He liked the changes. He stopped mere inches from her body. Bracing a hand against the wall behind her, he stroked the knuckles of his other hand down her cheek, her neck, to the wide expanse of her chest. She was breathing heavily. He watched the rapid rise and fall of her breasts as he pushed her white shirt from her shoulders and down her arms.

He bent his head and breathed in the sweet scent of her skin. It wasn’t a perfume really. It was lighter, like the echoes of a soap. It had bonded with her skin—it wasn’t localized like a spritz of perfume. He sniffed along her shoulder, then lifted her hand and sniffed down to the crook of her elbow.
 

“What’s that scent you’re wearing?” He lifted his head to look at her eyes.

“It’s my body wash. Do you like it?”

“Mm-hmm.” He took hold of her ribs, the upper hourglass of her figure, and ran his hands down to her waist, then out over her hips. He knelt in front of her. Hooking his index fingers in the lower hems of her panties, he circled her thighs from the outside in, ending by running the backs of his fingers over the crisp hairs between her legs.

Cupping her butt cheeks, he pulled her forward as he mouthed her clit through her panties. “I’m done waiting, Ivy. Surrender to me.”

Her lips parted on a breathless puff of air. “I can’t. There’s too much at stake.”

“We’ll figure it out. Together.” He straightened, kissing his way up her belly. He had a day’s growth of beard. He knew she felt it, because everywhere he kissed, gooseflesh rose. He kissed the valley between her breasts, then pulled the cups below her breasts, releasing her to his hungry gaze.

He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of her breasts; her nipples were tight and erect. Taking a mound in each hand, he nuzzled beneath one, then the other. “You’re so damned perfect. Better even than my memories of you. And those were wonderful enough to keep me alive on some pretty dark days in Afghanistan.”

His hands moved restlessly over her breasts. Squeezing, lifting. He sucked a nipple. She braced her hands on his shoulders, her eyes dilated, darkened to the blue of midnight skies.
 

“I can give you what you want, Ivy. All of it. I can protect you and Casey. I can provide for you. I want as many more kids as you do.” He suckled her other breast while his hands slipped beneath her waistband to push her panties down to her ankles. He ran his hands up the back of her legs to her butt cheeks. Reaching up even higher, he found her bra clasp and released it.

He pulled back and smiled at her as his hand eased its way up her inner thigh, stopping at her core. He kissed her navel, licking her bellybutton as his fingers found her feminine seam and slipped inside. She was soaking wet. Her clitoris was swollen. He took hold of her breast and latched onto her nipple as he eased a finger inside of her opening. He slipped his finger out and back in, slowly. His thumb began to work her clit as he moved two fingers inside her.

“Kit….”

“Mm-mm.”

“I need you. Finish it. Please.”

Kit came to his feet, slowly withdrawing his fingers from her. He took hold of her face and looked into her eyes, then nodded. “I will.”

He took a condom out of his wallet, then tossed his billfold on the nightstand. He unfastened his jeans and pushed them and his briefs down his legs and kicked them away. His erection stood at a rigid right angle to his body. He tore into the wrapper and sheathed himself.

Ivy reached out and caught his shaft between her palms. His cock jumped at the gentle pressure. He lifted her at the waist. “Wrap your legs around me. Hook your ankles together.” He held her butt cheeks in his hands, grinding her body against his. “Kiss me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and gently pressed her lips to his. He leaned in, but she leaned back, keeping the contact between their mouths light. He growled and moved one of his hands up to cup the back of her head, deepening the pressure at their mouths. He broke the kiss and started it over. He caught both of her lips in his and ran his tongue across their seam.
 

She grasped his face in her hands and took over the kiss, nipping at his lips, pulling them with hers until he groaned and grinned. While she worked his mouth, he worked the sweet flesh he held in his hands, grinding her clit against his erection. With every movement either of them made, her breasts rubbed against his chest.
 

Kit crossed to the bed and laid her across it. Without any further preliminaries, he entered her. There were a hundred other positions he wanted to experience with her, but they could wait. Just then, he wanted to watch her face, see her passion rise, feel her body beneath his as he rocked against her.

Her legs were still locked around the small of his back. He could feel her small muscles tightening. He thrust against their spasming hold, harder, faster. He swept his arms underneath hers to grip fistfuls of the quilt, spreading his thighs so he could thrust deeper. He felt her release even as she shouted it out in whimpers and cries, triggering his own release in wave after wave of spasms.

When he had control of his body again, he folded her up against himself and buried his head in the crook of her neck, fighting to regain his breath. Ivy was breathing strangely, in quiet little gasps.

He pulled back to look at her. “Hey. What’s going on?” Kit’s heart froze. His arms tightened around her. “Ivy. Talk to me.”

“That was nice.”

“Nice? That was freaking awesome.” He rolled over, shifting her on top of him. They were still joined. He didn’t want to let go of her yet. He pulled the quilt down over them and yanked a pillow over to support his head so he could look at her.

“I love you, Ivy.”

“Kit—”

He quickly pressed his thumb to her lips, stopping her words. “It’s enough, for now, that you know how I feel. You need time. I get that. I got all the time in the world for you, honey.” He kissed her nose. “How about a sandwich? We both missed dinner tonight.” He grinned at her. “You’re going to need all of your strength. We have seven long days left before Casey comes home.”

She smiled and stretched on top of him. “I could eat.”

“Still hate mayo?”

“Oh, yeah.”

He slipped out from under her. “One ham and cheese, mustard, no mayo, coming up!” He stepped into the bathroom to clean up, then pulled his jeans on over his bare ass. When he looked up, Ivy was sitting on the edge of the bed. She was leaning back, her nude body covered only by a few locks of hair. She smiled, then bit her lower lip.
 

He bent down to kiss her. “Maybe sandwiches can wait.”

“I’m starving. Want company?”

He swept her off the bed with an arm around her waist. Bending over her, he took her mouth, dipping his tongue into her sweetness. She reached her arms up and around his neck, pressing her breasts into his bare chest. He groaned into her mouth. “If we don’t stop now, you’ll never eat. And no, I don’t want you to leave this room.” He lifted the blankets and held them up for her. “Get in. I want you to stay in bed, naked, waiting for me.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll be right back.”