Honorary Surgeon (32 page)

“
Mary, I have made mother believe I am going away because I need a holiday. I
’
ve already confessed to you that that isn
’
t my real reason.
”
Without waiting for Mary
’
s comment, he continued:
“
I feel I owe you a proper explanation, although it
’
s terribly hard to put it into words.
”

Mary gripped her hands together tightly, until they almost tore the fine lawn of the handkerchief she was clutching with a kind of desperation. She
’
d already told him she did not want to hear what he was going to say...
did not want to hear it put into words
...
did not wish to hear from his own lips the confession of his love for Veronica. With an effort, she made herself speak, forced the difficult phrases off her tongue.
“
There
’
s no need to put anything into words; I understand perfectly
...
have known for a long time.
”
Her voice trailed off into silence.

“
You
’
ve known, Mary!
”
There was almost an exultant note in Richard
’
s tone.
“
You
’
ve known
...
and for a long time,
”
he echoed.
“
I can hardly believe it, and yet I suppose I must have given myself away in a hundred different manners,
”
he added thoughtfully.
“
But I
’
m glad you know
...
glad, too, that I didn
’
t have to express my innermost sentiments.
”

Mary felt a wave of anguish sweep over her. He sounded so proud, so well pleased with himself, t
h
at his love had been apparent. How greatly he would rejoice when he had the right to claim Veronica as his own!

Richard appeared to be entirely unaware of her dismay, and, staring straight ahead of him, continued speaking:
“
Since you know my feelings, you must realize that it will be better if I make myself scarce for a bit. I don
’
t want to say anything to mother, she
’
d only worry; she concerns herself so much on my account ... by the time I return ... by the new year ... I suppose everything will be settled?
”
He turned a pair of enquiring eyes to his companion.

Mary felt her colour recede beneath his scrutiny. What was he asking her?
...
Was he asking whether she would have gone off with Guy by the time he returned?
...
Mary opened her lips to speak, but no words came. What could she say?
...
How could she tell him that the whole thing was merely a mistake, and there was no purpose in his going away, since everything would be exactly the same when he returned?

“
What
’
s the matter, Mary?
”
Richard
’
s voice was tender as he leaned down towards her and placed his hands beneath her elbows to draw her to her feet.

Mary steeled herself for the ordeal before her
...
The force of her feelings had exhausted her mentally; she felt weak and spent, as though she had been battling against a storm and craved with all her soul the safe anchorage of those strong arms, so near her and yet so far ... so very far. It was at that moment she made up her mind; perhaps, without true realization of the step she was taking
...
What was there to hold her from going to Guy, from taking the very course that Richard so obviously expected of her? She must get away from Richard now, for she could not endure another moment of his company. Her nerves were stretched to that pitch where she must lose control completely, burst into tears and give herself away. Even now, she could feel the tears pricking her eyes, waiting to be shed. In a minute her gaze must meet his
...
meet the searching scrutiny of those steely eyes
...
That would be really more than she could stand ...

Suddenly words came, and she was hardly aware that she spoke.
“
Go away
...
don
’
t bother ... it
’
s the best thing you can do.
”
Her voice rose to a note which was almost exultant.
“
You won
’
t have to be away long
...
you might not have to go at all
...
I
’
ll clear out quickly; the sooner I join him, the better Guy will be pleased.
”
She did not realize at the time that it was her own laugh which resounded so strangely in the silent room.
“
Why should I wait to
go to my lover? ... There is nothing to wait for
...
nothing
...
nothing.
”
She stopped abrupt
l
y, staring at the silent figure confronting her.
“
Don
’
t stand there looking at me as though you thought I
’
d taken leave of my senses. I assure you, I never felt more
’
s
a
ne in my life. I
’
m going to my lover
...
that
’
s what you want me to do, isn
’
t it?
”
With a strident laugh, she crossed the room and slammed the door behind her.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

With a deliberate movement
Lady Alymer switched off the wireless set, then, picking up her stick from where it rested against her chair, made her way with slow, measured steps across the room to the flat-topped desk where Mary was ostensibly busy with the household accounts.

“
Mary, my dear, I
’
ve been watching you for the past five minutes and you
’
ve been doing nothing, simply nothing; not even putting pen to paper.
”
Lady Alymer
’
s voice was kindly.
“
What
’
s the matter with you? If anything
’
s wrong—if you have a headache—leave those wretched figures. You can juggle with them at any time; there can
’
t be any necessity to bother with them now, if you are not feeling up to the mark. I can
’
t bear to see you so listless and miserable.
”

Mary glanced up and her eyes suffused with tears at the gently spoken words.
“
I
’
m all right, really I am.
”
But she shut the accounts book with a sigh of relief.
“
However, if you don
’
t mind, I think I
’
d rather tackle our high finance some other day.
”
She smiled wanly.
“
Perhaps if you could do without me for an hour or two I could slip over and see Veronica; she won
’
t be here much longer, and if you would spare me
...”

“
Spare you,
”
Lady Alymer echoed.
“
What a question! Naturally I can, and willingly. Why, I believe that
’
s the first request you
’
ve made since you
’
ve been at Frensham Manor. Now you run along and enjoy yourself, and don
’
t let me see you back until this evening,
”
she admonished, patting Mary affectionately on the shoulder.
“
You shall have the car to take you over, otherwise you
’
ll waste half the day waiting about for motor coaches. Anyway, I don
’
t altogether trust those gigantic public monsters,
”
she asserted.

“
I can quite easily manage in the
‘
public monsters,
’
as you call them,
”
Mary replied with a smile.
“
Although it would be a tremendous help if I could be allowed the use of the car.
”

“
And why shou
l
dn
’
t you have the car?
”
Lady Alymer demanded with a soft inflection in her voice.
“
Besides, knowing what a conscience you
’
ll have about having the car for your own personal use, I
’
ll get you to change my library books for me. Now, has that set your mind at rest?
”
she queried.

Mary jumped to her feet and, with a loving gesture, lightly embraced her companion.
“
That will be splendid!
”
she ejaculated.
“
How sweet of you to let me have the car, and sweeter still to pretend that it
’
s really being used for an errand of yours. I
’
ll rush up and get my coat and hat, and I promise to return a different person,
”
she exclaimed breathlessly.

“
Not too different, please; I love you as you are. You know that, don
’
t you, my dear?
”

“
Thank you, darling. You
’
re altogether too wonderful to me. I don
’
t know what I
’
ve done to deserve it.
”
Giving Lady Alymer an ecstatic hug, Mary hurried from the room.

Within a few minutes she reappeared dressed in her outdoor clothes, and to Lady Alymer
’
s mind she looked radiantly beautiful, with her golden hair peeping beneath her small black hat.

“
These are the books you wanted me to change, aren
’
t they?
”
Mary asked, proffering two books in brightly coloured dust-covers.
“
What would you like me to get this time? Are you going to carry on with your orgy of crime stories, or would you like me to choose something a little more serious?
”
she demanded gaily.

“
More
‘
thrillers,
’
please, my dear.
I know it
’
s very
‘
low-brow
’
taste, but I do enjoy t
h
em so,
”
she added in an undertone.

“
You shall have as many
‘
thrillers
’
as you like!
”
Mary announced.
“
We
’
ll leave Richard to read the
‘
high-brow
’
stuff, shall we?
”
she teased.

“
You
’
re right, Mary; but he gets quite cross when he sees me engrossed in a detective story. He says I tire my eyes to no good purpose. But there, Mary, I expect that
’
s the doctor in him making itself felt. Now you
m
ust hurry, or it will be time to come back before you get there,
”
Lady Alymer chided.
“
I
’
ll wave good-bye from the window.
”

Mary blew her a kiss and hurried to the waiting car. She was very glad that she had plucked up courage to ask to go to Windyridge; not courage in the sense of asking Lady Alymer, for she could hardly imagine the older woman refusing her anything, but courage to go forward with her hastily conceived plan of the previous evening. Delay would have been fatal; Mary knew that only too well. If she stopped for one moment to consider the advisability of her decision, she knew she would undoubtedly turn back. It certainly hadn
’
t been difficult to obtain permission to visit Veronica. How natural and reasonable it had sounded! But it wasn
’
t Veronica that Mary wished to see, and she prayed with all her heart that during her visit she would find time and opportunity for a few whispered words with Guy.

Why, good heavens, the car had reached Windyridge already; she had been so lost in meditation that she had not noticed how quickly they had covered the ground. She
’
d forgotten about the books, too; she must be sure to remember them on the homeward journey. Waiting until the chauffeur had opened the door, she jumped out with an agile movement and ran lightly up the familiar steps to the porch. She had not long to wait before Veronica herself threw open the door.

“
Veronica, darling, how lovely to see yo
u
again! Now isn
’
t this a grand surprise? And wasn
’
t Lady Alymer a pet to let me come
?
”
she queried breathlessly.

“
Oh,
Mary, my deaf, you really are a perfectly heaven
-
sent
s
urprise. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw you on the doorstep. I was only thinking of you this morning and wondering how we could work in a few more meetings before our leave is up.
”
Her face clouded.
“
I can scarcely beat t
o
think of it,
”
she murmured under her breath.

“
Come on, y
o
u mustn
’
t get depressed or I shall go straight back,
”
Mary threatened laughingly.
“
Unless the car has already left! I had better tell the chauffeur not to wait. I can get back by bus; it won
’
t matter if I
’
m a bit late.
”

“
Of course you won
’
t go back by bus, when we have a car at your disposal!
”
Veronica retorted indignantly, then added in a more subdued tone:
“
Oh, I forgot for the moment
...
Guy
’
s out playing golf, and I don
’
t expect he
’
ll return until about six o
’
clock. Do you think you can stay till then? He
’
ll be able to drive you over himself.
”

Mary
’
s heart seemed to bound at her friend
’
s words; fate was certainly being kind. Here was the very opportunity she had been asking for.
“
That will be awfully nice,
”
she agreed, sincerely hoping that her words sounded natural.
“
It doesn
’
t really matter what time I get back; I
’
ve such a sweet employer that I seem allowed to do exactly as I please.
”

“
I
’
m thankful you
’
re no longer at hospital. I don
’
t think you realize how thin and ill you were looking; you gave me quite a shock the first time I saw you.
”

“
You were very successful in hiding your true feelings, then,
”
Mary teased.

“
I
’
m accustomed to doing that!
”
Veronica replied bitterly.

“
Oh, darling, don
’
t say that!
”
Mary chided gently.
“
Take me up to your room and let me hear all your news, and then I want to see Jeanette and Aunt Bess. How is Jeanie? I expect she
’
s grown, hasn
’
t she?
’
She slipped her arm through her friend
’
s and together they walked across the hall, and upstairs to the bedroom.

Veronica watched
h
er friend carefully while the l
a
tt
er removed her outdoor clothes and repowdered her face. What a difference there was in her general appearance since she had been at Frensham Manor! She looked so young again, and so very attractive. The idea of Mary being a nurse had always appeared ridiculous to Veronica; she hoped that one day her friend would fall in love and marry, for she was cut out to be a wife and mother. It quite made her heart ache when she saw Mary playing with Jeanette; she had such a wonderful way with the child, and, after all, Lady Alymer could not live forever
...

“
You
’
re lost in meditations, Veronica.
”
Mary
’
s voice interrupted her reverie.
“
I thought you were going to tell me all about yourself.
”

“
There isn
’
t much to tell
...
at least, nothing very cheerful,
”
she confessed.
“
I can
’
t bear the idea of going back to Singapore, that
’
s all; and yet what else am I to do? I
’
ve talked it over with Aunt Bess time after time, and, as each day passes, I dread the return more and more.
”

“
I understand ... I
’
m sorry,
”
Mary murmured noncommittally. What could she say? She longed so much to comfort her friend, to tell her to have patience, that her waiting was nearly over; just a little longer, so little, and the tangle of life would be unravelled. Even as Mary thought she thrust back the urge to speak. No, not until she had spoken to Guy
...
until her word was pledged she dared not raise her friend
’
s hopes.
“
Cheer up, Veronica, you never know; perhaps everything will be all right one
day,
”
were the only words of consolation she dared to offer.

“
They
’
ll never be better!
”
Veronica ejaculated bitterly.
“
We neither of us love the other, so what chance of happiness do we stand? ...
To think ... to think that I
’
ve to go on all my life like this
...
that
’
s what I find it so impossible to face. Only one life on earth and I
’
ve messed it up in this hopeless fashion. The sole thought I have always present in my mind is, that this is the end of everything, the end of all happiness.
”
She covered her face with her hands and began to cry quietly, but with a heart-breaking despair.