Honorary Surgeon (34 page)

“
Of course I shall.
”
Joan gave an uneasy laugh.
“
You
’
re so terribly serious, I
’
m beginning to feel quite nervous.
”
She leaned down towards her companion.
“
Mary, what
’
s up? Tell me; we
’
ve always told each other our inmost secrets.
”
She forced a laugh:
“
Although, in hospital, one can never keep anything secret, anyway.
”

“
I
’
m going away with Guy Perivale
...
you know, Veronica
’
s husband. I
’
m meeting him at Astor
’
s Hotel tomorrow evening.
”

“
Good heavens! I don
’
t believe it!
”
After the exclamation had been forced from her lips, Joan remained in horrified silence while Mary continued speaking.

“
I knew you
’
d be shocked, but it isn
’
t really quite as awful as it sounds. I told you when I returned from that first to Veronica that she and Guy were desperately unhappy together. Don
’
t think I
’
ve come between them; I couldn
’
t bear anyone to think that of me,
”
Mary begged.

“
I remember, now
...
you told me
...”
Joan
’
s words died away as she lapsed into thought.

“
You do, don
’
t you?
”
Mary insisted eagerly.
“
I haven
’
t wronged Veronica; she
’
ll be glad, I tell you
...
terribly glad!
”
Mary could not avoid a note of bitterness creeping into her voice.
“
She
’
s always longed to find reason to divorce him; now I am going to give her cause.
”

“
That
’
s all very well, but you haven
’
t told me the most important thing yet. Are you in love with this Perivale fellow?
”
Joan enquired.

“
Whatever makes you ask such a question?
”
Mary protested.
“
Naturally I must be, or I wouldn
’
t be going to him.
”
She hoped her words sounded convincing; somehow she hadn
’
t anticipated such a leading question, had never doubted that Joan would accept that important fact for granted in the circumstances. Mary
’
s eyes wandered round the familiar room. Joan hadn
’
t changed it much since her marriage; it was still very much like Noel
’
s old room, where Mary had spent so many happy hours. Her gaze strayed to the panelled walls. Yes, there were the two pictures Noel had shown her that summer night on her return from Veronica
’
s. How proud of them he had been, and what an argument they had had about the merits of the smaller one! Mary sighed. How long ago all that seemed now, and yet it was only a few months! What a jolly evening it had been! Joan, she remembered, had joined them for dinner, and it was on that very night that Mary had first believed that her scheme for her friend
’
s future would materialize. She gripped her hands round her knees as she sat huddled on her low seat. Hadn
’
t it been that night that Noel had jumped to the stupid conclusion that she had fallen for Richard? How right he had been; but, then, Noel was usually right; during
their years of friendship Mary had frequently had reason to bless Noel
’
s foresight. If only she had paid more attention to him then ... If only she had escaped from Richard before Noel
’
s prophecy had proved true.

“
Mary!
”
Joan leaned forward and placed her hand on Mary
’
s arm.
“
I don
’
t believe you
’
re in love with this man. Won
’
t you tell me why you are doing this?
”
Her words were persuasive.
“
You know you can trust me, don
’
t you?
”

Mary looked up gratefully.
“
Yes, I do!
”
she asserted without hesitation.
“
But I think it would be better if I didn
’
t say any more. You see, I
’
ve made up my mind, and I don
’
t think that discussing the matter is going to help.
”

“
That means that you are doing something stupid, that there are doubts about it,
”
Joan interposed with certainty
“
You
’
ve given yourself away
...
Instead of protestations of your love for this man, you have dodged the issue and tried to close the discussion.
”

“
I haven
’
t!
”
Mary was forced to laugh at the conviction in her friend
’
s voice.
“
You know I
’
m not the sort of person to wear my heart on my sleeve. Vowing undying affection for anyone isn
’
t my style at all!
”

“
I know you weren
’
t a very demonstrative person at hospital.
”
Joan laughed softly at the memories her words evoked.
“
I shall always remember the way you stood up against Dickie
’
s charm.
”
She stopped speaking and searched her friend
’
s face.
“
Funny Dickie
’
s name should have, come into it; you know Noel and I sometimes thought
—
”
she broke off for a moment—
“
that you and Dickie
...
you know ... we imagined that you were falling for each other.
”

“
How ridiculous!
”
Mary replied shortly, while she lowered her head to hide the tell-tale flush which had risen at the unexpected mention of Richard
’
s name.
“
Richard and I haven
’
t the slightest interest in one another.
”

“
You may not be interested in Richard, but he was jolly interested in you!
”
Joan asserted meaningly.

“
I don
’
t know what you mean!
”
Mary could not repress the catch in her voice which her friend
’
s words had caused. Happily, Joan appeared unaware of the distress she was causing, and, entirely unabashed, continued speaking:
“
Of course he fell for you; don
’
t pretend you didn
’
t know it,
”
she scoffed.
“
Why, it was patent to a blind man!
”

Mary rose to her feet and pushed back the pouffe.
“
You don
’
t know what you
’
re saying.
”
Her voice rose.
“
Richard has never shown me any attention at all, except the ordinary courtesy he would show to any girl!
”
she protested heatedly, then, biting her lip to prevent the words which threatened to overflow, turned abruptly and walked away from her friend.

Joan stared after her in amazement. Whatever had she said to rouse her so? She watched in silence as Mary crossed to the window and, her slim figure drooping dejectedly, stared into the street beyond.

“
Mary, come and sit down again. Don
’
t be so silly! I didn
’
t mean to annoy you.
”
Her forehead creased into a frown.
“
I can
’
t think why you
’
re so upset.
”

Mary turned slowly and crossed back towards the hearth. For a moment she stood silently, her elbow resting on the mantelshelf, her foot restlessly tapping the curb. Suddenly she addressed her friend.
“
I
’
m sorry, Joan; you must think I
’
m crazy. I ought to have explained more clearly. Richard and Veronica are in love
...
that is partly the reason for Veronica
’
s unhappiness
with her
husband.
”
Mary forced a laugh.
“
You see, that
’
s why your allusion to Richard and myself was rather upsetting. He
’
s been in love with Veronica for years ... at one time they were engaged.
”

“
Good heavens! I never knew that! I can
’
t realize it!
”
Joan pondered the matter before continuing.
“
It does seem strange
...
Noel had been friendly with Richard for ages
...
it
’
s funny he never knew of it.
”

“
I don
’
t suppose Richard ever spoke of it
...
What was the use? Soon after his engagement was broken off Veronica went abroad and married Guy there.
”
Ma
r
y sighed.
“
I imagine it
’
s been pretty rotten for Richard, but now
...
well, perhaps now everything will come all right for him.
”

Joan seemed quite deaf to Mary
’
s words, so deeply engrossed was she in her own thoughts. After a few moments contemplation she spoke again.
“
I still can
’
t understand
...”
Her brows were wrinkled in perplexity.
“
Noel has always been so intimate with Richard, and you know how men talk
...
”
She smiled
“
Like we do, they get confidential, I expect, when they are alone together.
”
Her tone resumed a note of seriousness.
“
Richard most certainly gave Noel the impression that he cared about you.
”

“
Cared about someone,
”
Mary interrupted.
“
It was Noel
’
s mistake. Richard has never even thought about me.
”

“
But you
’
ve thought about him.
”
The words were a challenge.

Mary could not evade her friend
’
s searching stare, and, turning her own gaze towards the glowing fire, replied:
“
You know I never liked Richard
... Why, surely I proved that to you at hospital?
”

“
That
’
s no answer
...
You hated him at hospital, and were never tired of slanging him, but you didn
’
t know the real Dickie then. I believe your dislike of him was mostly aggravated by the stupidity of the other nurses. Af
ter you met him on your holiday I ...
well, as a matter of fact both Noel and I thought you had changed.
”
Joan spoke thoughtfully.
“
You were so different about him ... I could have sworn
...
”
She broke off and asked,
“
Why did you accept his offer of a job?
”

Mary laughed as naturally as she was table
“
I didn
’
t have to love him to accept a good job when it was offered; besides, I hated the idea of St. Jude
’
s without you.
”
That at least was true enough, and Mary dropped back on to her seat with ill-concealed relief. Perhaps, now, Joan would drop the subject.

“
I don
’
t believe you,
”
Joan contradicted.
“I’
ve known you too long to be taken in by evasions. You
’
re an awfully truthful sort of person, Mary, and you tell lies very badly.
”
Joan leaned confidentially towards her friend.
“
Don
’
t hate me for trying to make you tell me ... it
’
s just that I
’
m so fond of you ... I don
’
t want to probe; I want to help.
”

“
I know
”
Mary lowered her head while her restless fingers strayed to the clasp of her belt. For a moment she fingered it nervously, then, lifting her eyes, she spoke decisively.
“
It
’
s sweet of you, Joan, but no one can help ... I do care for Richard ... I should have admitted it in the first place.
”
She made a gesture of helplessness with her hands.
“
But what good does it serve? Richard is in love with someone else. I
’
ve known that for a long time, so it hasn
’
t come as a shock to me.
”
A sad smile played round the corners of her lips.
“
I knew about Veronica before I fell for him myself, so you see I don
’
t really deserve any sympathy.
”

“
As if one can help falling in love!
”
Joan
’
s voice was indignant.
“
Didn
’
t I fall in love with Noel when I thought he was yours?
”

“
You
were lucky; Noel was never mine.
”

“
I wish you were lucky, too.
”
Joan murmured fervently, then added:
“
Even if you can
’
t have Richard, why ran away with Guy Perivale if you don
’
t care for him?
”

“
I like Guy. I really like him tremendously. The idea of living abroad appeals, to me. I
’
ve got to think about the future; I can
’
t remain at Frensham Manor for the rest of my life, with Richard single
...
it
’
s unbearable. If he married
...
well, that would be equally bad. It seems simple enough ... I provide for my future, and, in doing so, make two other people happy.
”

“
Yes, I see all that,
”
Joan admitted pensively.
“
And, of course, it
’
s wonderful to feel you make the way clear for them ... as long as you
’
ll be all right
...
”
Joan turned impulsively to her friend and gripped her two hands.
“
Are you sure
...
quite sure?
”

“
Yes, I am.
”
Mary returned the pressure of Joan
’
s fingers before withdrawing her hands.
“
I am going to spend tomorrow night with Guy. He
’
ll send Veronica the evidence; then, later, when he
’
s free, I am to join him in Singapore.
”

“
And in the meantime?
”
Joan questioned.

“
That
’
s the worst of it,
”
Mary admitted miserably.
“
I shall have to go
back to Frensham and explain to Lady Alymer. Naturally, I can
’
t expect her to keep me there. I do hope she will understand ... I can
’
t bear the idea of hurting her; she
’
s been so kind I shall have enough to live on until I go to Guy.
”

“
But, my dear, you must come here,
”
Joan said without hesitation.
“
Noel will insist, I
’
m sure.
”

“
I couldn
’
t do that.
”
Mary smiled gratefully.
“
It
’
s sweet of you to suggest it.
”
She paused before continuing:
“
I know you
’
ll have to tell Noel, but please don
’
t tell him until I
’
ve left tomorrow ... I couldn
’
t bear it if he tried to stop me.
”