Hookup List (24 page)

“Now.
Let’s go dance now,” Payton said.

“Oh, is Jamal watching?” I asked.

“Shut up,” Payton said. “For the last time, I’m not using you to get back at my ex. Even if I was, so what? You said you were fine with that.”

I stood up from my plastic folding chair at the lunchroom table and let Payton lead me to the open area in the cafeteria, which had been repurposed as a dance floor. Despite what Payton had said, I saw Jamal staring balefully at me over Trinity’s shoulder. Payton had obviously noticed him watching and decided that it was time for us to dance again.

From the moment we arrived at the homecoming dance, Payton seemed to have one and only one goal in mind: making Jamal jealous. That didn’t bother me. What did bother me was that every time Jamal looked away Payton would drop me like a hot potato and say that she wanted to rest her feet. Why did we have to stop having fun just because Jamal wasn’t looking?

I shook it off and reminded myself that’s what I had signed up for. The upside was that Trinity would get to see me dancing with Payton a lot and hopefully that would make her jealous as well.

We joined a group of Payton’s friends on the dance floor. Soon we were jumping up and down and laughing and having a good time. It was impossible not to feel happy while surrounded by so many energetic people. We were all buoyed by a powerful mixture of hormones, gorgeously attired people, and the spirit of a party.

I forgot about Jamal as I danced with Payton, eyed all the other pretty girls, and exchanged grins and fist bumps with the soccer guys. It turned out that Jamal, however, had not forgotten about me. After about 15 minutes of dancing I caught sight of Jamal striding angrily towards us, pushing people aside as he made his way through the crowd. He came to a stop directly in front of us.

Payton pretended not to notice him. Instead, she started laughing happily and grinding against me.

“Payton…
Payton!” Jamal said loudly.

Payton finally looked over at him. “Oh, hey Jamal, how’re
ya doing?” she asked nonchalantly. “Enjoying the dance?”

“Payton, I want you back,” Jamal said.

“Hey, we’re dancing here,” I said, ready for a fight. Payton, however, bumped me aside and planted herself directly in front of Jamal, hands firmly on her hips.

“Is that so?” she said. “And what happened to your other girl? Did she dump you? Is that why you’re here?”

“No, I just realized how much you mean to me,” Jamal said.

From the way Payton was staring at Jamal with mixed consternation and infatuation, it looked like it was game over for me. “Payton, do you want me to get lost?” I asked.

Payton looked back at me. “I’m sorry Nate,” she said. “We just have a lot we need to work out. I’m really sorry. Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” I said. In fact, there was one other girl who had just become free and I was dying to talk to her.

I wandered around the dance floor looking for Trinity but didn’t see her. She hadn’t left the dance, had she? Starting to panic, I went into the hallway to look for her.

There were crowds of people wandering around in the hallway talking and going back and forth from the bathroom to the dance floor. At first I didn’t see Trinity and I feared that she was gone. Just as I was about to give up the search, however, I spotted a figure leaning against the wall and staring out a window into the dark school courtyard. It was Trinity.

I approached slowly. Then, when I was a few feet away, I said “Hi. How’s it going?”

Trinity turned to look and me and I struggled to maintain my cool, confident demeanor. It was the first time all night I had seen her from head to toe and I was unprepared for just how stunning she would look. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that perfectly matched her brilliant eyes. Her striking blond hair was pinned up, accenting her smooth skin and feminine, graceful neck. She wore high-heels that made her seem even taller so that she appeared to be a model or perhaps some sort of princess.

“Hi Nate,” she said. “Sorry, I’m just a bit down at the moment.”

“Well you can’t be any worse off than me,” I said. “I think I just got dumped.”

“Of course, I’m sorry about that,” Trinity said kindly. “I guess Jamal and Payton are just made for each other.”

“Maybe,” I said. “Or maybe Jamal is an A-hole.”

Trinity cracked a smile. Her teeth were so white they seemed to light up the entire hallway. “Thanks Nate,” she said. “You’re a really nice guy.”

“There are plenty of girls that would disagree with you,” I said. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back against the window. Now why had I said that? It was unlike me. I should have been bragging myself up to her. For some reason, though, I couldn’t stand the idea of presenting a false front to Trinity. Maybe it was that I didn’t want her to fall for something I was not. I wanted her to like the real me.

Trinity asked me about soccer and then we started talking. I got lost in the conversation. The topic changed from sports to life goals and aspirations. That’s when I discovered that Trinity wasn’t just beautiful and kind; she was also brilliant. She talked about how she wanted to become a doctor and spend time treating people in third-world countries. She explained how she had investigated programs she could be a part of during her undergraduate studies that would take her to South America and Africa and give her the opportunity to assist aid workers. Her life aspirations were so much more exciting than mine that I could do was listen attentively and ask questions. I was completely enthralled.

I would have gladly spent the entire evening listening to Trinity. I would have listened to her well into tomorrow and for as long as she would have let me. Unfortunately, at that moment I saw Alyssa walk into the hallway and she had tears streaming down her face.

Trinity followed my gaze. “Oh my,” she said with concern. “It looks like this dance is turning into a real disaster. Do you know her?”

“Yeah.”
I had never been so reluctant to say that word in my life before.

“Go talk to her,” Trinity urged sympathetically. “I’ll be fine.
Really. I told my girlfriends I would only be a few minutes anyway. I need to get back to them.”

I said goodbye to Trinity, cursed my luck, and then went to see how Alyssa was doing. I was turning into an emergency boyfriend problem fixer.

Alyssa saw me coming. She wiped a tear from her eye and cleared her throat. “Does this mean I’m going to get the famous Nate Caldwell treatment?” she asked wryly, managing a small smile. “I saw how much Olivia enjoyed that.”

“Only if you want it,” I joked. I went up to her and put my arm around her. “What’s going on?”

More boyfriend issues. It turned out that Alyssa and her boyfriend were still together but she was missing him and, since he was in Venezuela, it wasn’t a simple matter of getting a hold of a car to drive and visit him. She felt lonely having to come to the dance without him and her sadness had finally bubbled over when a slow dance came along and everyone else partnered up. I gave her what comfort I could and, by the time the dance was over, she seemed much better. She gave me a peck on the cheek as a reward but when I walked out of the school at the end of the night I was by myself. Worst of all, Payton had given me a ride to the dance because Sadie still had Aaron’s car. Now she was nowhere in sight. I looked around for my soccer teammates or any of my few friends but the only ones I saw were talking animatedly to their dates. I knew that interrupting to ask for a ride home would earn me their everlasting enmity. I sighed and resigned myself to my fate – trudging home along in my fancy suit.

I had taken about 10 steps when I suddenly heard someone say, “Nate. You look lost.” I looked over my shoulder and saw Matt Reagan driving down the road behind me, his passenger side window rolled down.

“Oh, hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“I was one of the chaperones,” Matt said. “I had parking lot duty. You know, making sure no one tries to sneak alcohol in or crash the party. Are you, uh, walking to your car?”

I was walking away from the parking lots. There was no faking it now. “No,” I said. “I actually sort of got dumped and my date has the car.”

“Say no more,” Matt said. “I’ve been there. Hop in. I promise I won’t try to talk to you.”

I hesitated but no better option presented itself. “Okay. Thanks,” I said.

I got in the car and leaned back against the seat. I rubbed my forehead tiredly. “Have you?” I asked.

“Have I what?”

“Have you been there? Getting dumped by your date and having to walk home, I mean?” I asked him.

“Oh, that. No. I was actually a cool guy in high school,” Matt said.

I looked at him in surprise. Had he just slammed me? When I say his sly smile I shook my head. He was yanking my chain. “I see where David gets his annoying sense of humor from,” I said.

Matt laughed and we rolled out of the parking lot.

Matt was true to his word. He did not try to talk to me. He didn’t have the radio in the car on either and the silence was deafening. I wasn’t good with awkward silences. I started tapping my foot nervously and then decided I couldn’t take it anymore. “David was showing me a few wrestling moves,” I said. “He mentioned that you were a big wrestler back in the day.”

Matt nodded but didn’t say anything.

“I went out for ice cream with Faith the other day,” I said, trying again. “That was good.”

Matt nodded but still didn’t say anything.

I couldn’t figure it out. First he wanted to talk to me and now he wouldn’t even engage in a cursory conversation?
Fine. Two could play at that game. I closed my mouth and resolved not to say another word until Matt spoke first.

That intention lasted all of about three minutes before my indignation overcame it. “You’re pretty quiet,” I said accusingly.

Matt looked at me with an arched eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t want to get into an in-depth conversation,” he said.

“I don’t,” I muttered. I was immediately annoyed by how petulant I sounded. “I just didn’t figure you would give up so easily.”

“Is that what you want?” Matt asked. “You want me to beg you to talk to me? I do want you to talk to me, Nate, but I’m not going to plead with you. You were right. You’re old enough now that you can decide whether you want to talk to me or not.”

Good.
Except, it didn’t feel good at all. Deep down I didn’t really want the world to acknowledge my independence. What I wanted were people who loved me. I could manage on my own, though. In a way, I always had. I nodded to myself and stared into the distance.

“Can I just offer you one piece of advice?” Matt asked.

I hesitated and then said, “What?”

“Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want in life,” Matt said. “It’s easy at times to feel like it’s the world against you. You can even get to start thinking that you’re going to teach the world and everyone in it a lesson by being sad. That’s defeatist thinking and it’ll never help you turn your life around. Instead, figure out what you want and chase after it. Heck, if you do nothing else, at least ask for it. Sometimes you’ll get what you want and sometimes you won’t. You’ll never get it if you don’t ask for it, however. I don’t know what you want if you don’t ask me for it. You’re almost a grown man and heaven knows I have made some major mistakes by not being in your life. You don’t owe me anything. So it’s all up to you. If you tell me what you want is to be left alone, I’ll oblige you. If you want something else, just tell me. Do you know what I’m saying?”

I was quiet for a few seconds. “Yeah,” I said.

“Okay, good, that’s it, I’ll be quiet now if that’s what you want,” Matt said.

The hum of the engine filled the uncomfortable silence. A minute and then two and three passed as I wrestled with the question of what I really wanted. It wasn’t until we reached the last street before my house that I made up my mind.

I cleared my throat. “Hey,” I said. “I think McDonald’s is open all night. You don’t want to stop in and grab an ice cream cone, do you? It’s not far. I’ll buy.”

The glow of the instrument panel gave off just enough light for me to see a broad smile spread across Matt’s face. “Deal,” he said. “Except this round is on me.”

It's funny how fast time passes. It seems like just yesterday that I had been dumped at the homecoming dance and was wondering how to get home. Things got better after that. I was on good terms with both Jerry and my mom and for the first time in my life I felt like I had a real relationship with my father, Matt. He and I would go out for dinner or ice cream or even just sit and talk. I never dreamed of having a dad I could do that with. I was finally beginning to feel at peace in Lakeville.

Then the state soccer tournament arrived. My team had been doing fantastically well all year and we whooped Rosedale to earn a spot in the tournament. Coach Hayworth praised us and told us how we were the best team he had coached in a decade. I was convinced that we had a real shot at a championship. This was my moment to shine. Nothing could spoil it.
Nothing, that was, except for El Diablo.

I was suddenly struck by an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was the kind of feeling that makes one want to gather a blanket tightly around oneself and find a place to hide. I didn’t know why I instinctively felt so threatened until I heard a sweet little voice behind me say, “Hi Nate.”

An icy knot formed in my chest. Reluctantly, I turned around to face El Diablo.

The little demon looked as deceptively harmless as ever. As I stared at her I felt that usual sense of arousal I got when I looked at her… or at almost any girl, really. I struggled to quell it. A guy could get really, really hurt by treating El Diablo as anything but the ruthless evildoer that she was.

“Big game today,” El Diablo said. Her smile didn’t waver, almost as though it were frozen in place.

“Yeah,” I said uncomfortably. “They’re just
gonna get bigger as we advance, though. Look, I gotta go…”

“Oh, I don’t think you’re going to be advancing,” El Diablo said lightly. She reached up and fiddled with one of the buttons on my suit jacket. Coach Hayworth had insisted we wear suits on playoff days. He claimed that guys wearing suits tended to be on their best behavior, and he didn’t want us goofing around on a game day.

“Then you haven’t seen me play,” I retorted. “I’ll take the team all the way to the state championship. I’ll…”

“No, you won’t,” El Diablo said, interrupting me. “You haven’t been listening very well to me, Nate. It’s almost like you forgot that I own you. So, it seems that I am going to have to give you a little reminder. I’m ordering you to throw the game.”

I started laughing. What else could I do? Throw the game… the suggestion was so absurd that I couldn’t even imagine it. El Diablo, however, wasn’t laughing.

“What? No,” I said. “That’s crazy. I’m not throwing the game. Some of my teammates have been working for this for years and Coach Hayworth…
Just no. No!”

El Diablo shrugged and let go of my jacket. “Suit
yourself,” she said. “You can try to resist but it’s not going to do any good. In the end, you are going to throw the game. Your resistance is only going to make it that much more fun for me to crush you.”

I watched her walk away in stunned silence. What on earth was she talking about? With a feeling of dread filling me, I did my best to put her out of my mind and focus on the upcoming game.

The game was being held at the same stadium where the girls had won the state championship last year. That, at least, was a good omen. Our bus left at noon. As I sat on the bus and looked out the window at the scenery flying by, I felt my usual pre-game feeling of excitement and anticipation building. This was my time. I was going to launch myself into Lakeville stardom. What could El Diablo realistically do to stop me? She was evil but she wasn’t out there on the field. All she could do now was play mind games and I wasn’t about to fall for those.

As soon as we got into the locker room, all of the guys got into their usual pre-game routine. For my part, I preferred to remain quiet and think as little as possible. I used the restroom and when I came back Coach Hayworth was ready to give our pre-game pep talk. I didn’t want to disturb him by unzipping my duffel bag so I waited until he was finished.

As a result, I was pulling off my tee-shirt when most of the rest of the guys were running out the door. That was fine; we had arrived plenty early and there was no rush. I opened my bag and pulled on my soccer jersey, confident in the knowledge that I was no in a hurry.

In fact, it wasn’t until I slipped off my shorts and boxers and picked up my spandex undershorts that a touch of concern started to set in. That was because the undershorts were not mine at all.

I groaned. Mom must have mixed up Aaron’s spandex with mine and put his in my drawer. It wouldn’t be the first time that such a mistake had occurred. I usually noticed it before packing my clothes, however. Unfortunately, this morning I had been in a hurry and I must not have looked at them carefully.

Oh well, at least Aaron and I had the same body type. In fact, I often wore his old clothes. It saved me from having to go shopping.

I put the spandex undershorts on and was immediately taken aback by how small – and tight – they were. Like, ridiculously tight. I made a mental note to give Aaron crap about that. Still, I was a tad worried. I wasn’t used to playing soccer in such constricting underwear. Plus, there was an odd minty smell wafting up from them. They almost seemed a bit waxy in the crotch region. I wondered if some of the laundry detergent had not gotten dissolved after the last time my mom had washed them.

Regardless, there was nothing for it now. I put on my soccer shorts, shin pads, socks, and shoes. Then I zipped up my bag and dashed out of the locker room.

I only got halfway down the hall before I felt an odd tingling sensation in my groin. I slowed down and stopped uncertainly. What the heck? It was a strange, cool feeling. Perhaps it was from the leftover detergent? If so, I figured that the feeling would subside shortly and I resolved to continue to the field.

Then, just like a light switch, the sensation went from cool to raging inferno.

I grabbed my crotch in shock. No, it couldn’t be… it was. IcyHot. Someone had coated my spandex with IcyHot. I knew what would come next. Complete, unbearable pain for my poor nether regions. One time when we were kids Aaron had tricked me into putting IcyHot on my private parts and I had cried for hours. The only way to mitigate the agony was to wash the stuff off as soon as possible. I whirled around to run back to the locker room. That’s when the door swung shut and El Diablo emerged from the tiny space behind it.

“You!”
I seethed, instantly putting two-and-two together.

“Not me alone,” El Diablo said primly. “I had help. I couldn’t very well break into your locker and switch out your shorts on my own, now, could I?
IcyHot… you’ll have to thank Sadie for that little idea. It’s very effective, no?” Before I could respond to that, two strong sets of hands seized both of my arms.

“I told you that you were going to lose this game, Nate. Now we finish the job,” El Diablo said, the chilling little smile still fixed on her face.

I struggled and fought with all my might but the two big morons who had seized me were immovable. “Churchill wrestling boys,” El Diablo said by way of explanation. “They got to do something like this to David and developed a bit of a taste for it. They jumped at the chance to do the same to David’s little brother. You don’t know Missy James but she was the queen of the school last year. She really was a genius when it came to boys. It’s kind of fitting that she conquered David and now I’m conquering his brother even as I take over her old role. The only difference is that Sadie isn’t around to stop me.”

They duct taped my mouth shut and my hands together in front of me and put a blindfold over my eyes. Then they dragged me down the hall.

“We’re going to the ladies’ locker room,” El Diablo chirped happily. “It’s not in use today so we won’t be bothered.”

Once we stopped moving I heard a clinking of metal. A moment later, one of the guys seized the back of my spandex waistband and wrenched up with all his might. They all laughed and the guy hooked my waistband onto something.

I was in torturous discomfort. My spandex undershorts were hooked firmly onto what I assumed was a locker door. They were wrenched up so high that I had to stand on my tip toes but the pain from the wedgie was still excruciating even then. Meanwhile, the IcyHot was wreaking havoc on my favorite body parts.

The guys laughed uproariously and then I heard the sound of their footsteps slowly recede as they walked out of the room.

“Oh Nate,” El Diablo said. I could sense her standing very close to me now. “It pains me to see you like this,” she said. “Swinging by your spandex from a hook – tsk tsk. If only you had listened to me from the start.”

She lowered my soccer shorts until they slipped off and landed on the floor around my ankles.

“You know,” she said, “I do think that you have the most beautiful body of any boy I’ve ever seen.” I felt her fingers slip between my legs and curl up around my spandex-clad family jewels. “And now you’re all mine,” she whispered.

She caressed me for a few minutes while I mumbled angry nonsense at her from behind my duct-tape gag. Then she sighed. “Well, I should be getting to the game,” she said. “I am, after all, responsible for its outcome. I’m sure you’ll get yourself free eventually, darling. I’ll leave a little something here for when you do. Bye now! See you out there.” El Diablo gave me one more squeeze between the legs and then disappeared.

I let out an infuriated growl. In the distance I could hear a whistle blow. The game would be just about to start. Without me. I tried to reach around behind me to unhook my spandex but my arms wouldn’t reach that far while they were still taped together. Meanwhile, the combined pain of the IcyHot and the wedgie was sending searing pain through my body.

It took almost a full five minutes before the back of my spandex ripped. Once my feet were planted firmly on the floor, I was able to turn around and use the hook in the door to loosen the duct tape at my wrists. Then I ripped the duct tape off my mouth. I wanted more than anything to sprint onto the field right then but there was the little matter of the
IcyHot to take care of first. I whipped off my spandex and everything else I was wearing, ran over to the showers, and endured nauseating agony as I washed the stuff off with lukewarm water. When I was done I threw the spandex in the garbage – I knew I would have to free ball it – and put the rest of my clothes back on. Then I made my way to the field, rubbing my toasted package tenderly as I went.

Coach Hayworth gave me an outraged glare when I ran up to him on the sidelines. “Where have you been?” he demanded. “You were supposed to be on the starting lineup!”

I looked at the players running around on the field and then back at him. “I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s a long story.”

Coach Hayworth didn’t seem to like that answer. For a minute I wondered whether the pulsating artery in his forehead might blow. The moment passed, however, and he grumbled, “Go stand by the ref. I’m subbing you in ASAP.”

As I waited to sub in I looked around at the spectators, wondering where El Diablo was. She had threatened to watch but for some reason I couldn’t see her or her gang in the stands. I thought for a second that maybe she had decided to leave – and thanked my lucky stars for that – but then I heard someone scream. “Send in Caldwell! Secure Lakeville’s defeat!”

My head whipped around to stare at the stands of the opposing team, Memorial High School, on the opposite side of the field. There, to my disbelief, stood El Diablo and her gang with the rest the Memorial fans.

“Caldwell sucks!” she screamed in war-cry fashion.

I couldn’t believe it. She was actually going to cheer against me in public. I tried to shake it off and focus on the game. It seemed that every time I ran for the ball, however, an anti-Nate chant would erupt from the Memorial stands. It started to disrupt my usual flow. I was listening to the jeers more than I was focusing on playing. Then the other team scored a goal.
Another. We were down 0-2 and I still couldn’t seem to focus. Coach Hayworth was screaming at me. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw El Diablo hoist up some type of long pole. I stopped and stared in disbelief as she waved the pole proudly in the air. A pair of boxer briefs that looked at lot like the ones she had taken from me during our encounter at her house were flying from the top of the pole.

I noticed too late that one of the Memorial forwards was charging at me. I failed to get in front of him and he
deked around me with the ball as if I were a five year old who was more interested in picking grass than playing soccer.

“Caldwell, get off the field!” Coach Hayworth bellowed.

I jogged to the sidelines with my head hung low. When I glanced up I saw El Diablo, several of the girls in her posse, and the two Churchill guys laughing. My face reddened but there was nothing I could do about it.

I sat down on the bench at the sidelines and glanced up at our supporters. I could see my mom, Matt, David, Faith, and Sadie all watching me with somber faces. Then I saw Trinity London and I felt sick to my stomach again. She was watching me sit on the sidelines while my underwear swung around in the air on the opposite side of the field. This was rock bottom.

Even as I watched Trinity, however, something seemed to change in her expression. Her eyes narrowed and she stared angrily across at the other side of the field. Was she staring at El Diablo? Then, surprisingly, she left her spot in the stands and walked over to David. The two of them started talking animatedly. I would have loved to have been able to figure out what they were talking about but I didn’t get any time to do so because at that moment the whistle blew, signaling the end of the first half of the game.