Hookup List (25 page)

After a painful but thankfully brief half-time lecture from Coach Hayworth in the locker room, we ran back onto the field. I immediately looked around for Trinity and David but they were nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately, El Diablo was. She was still cackling and swinging around my boxer briefs.

Coach Hayworth benched me so I had ample time to stare at El Diablo and glare. She seemed to enjoy that even more. She even stuck her tongue out at me.

Then something astonishing happened.
Something miraculous… something so incredible and amazing that I found it difficult to believe my own eyes. The row of the Memorial stands holding El Diablo, her posse, and the Churchill thugs collapsed. One moment I was looking at the faces of El Diablo and her evil minions. The next moment, they were all gone.

Cries of shock and distress erupted from the opponent’s stands. The refs stopped the game. All the players looked at the stands with perplexed expressions. I’m pretty sure that I was the only one who saw Trinity and David emerge quietly from underneath the other side of the stands. David was holding one of the wrenches that he usually kept in the toolbox in the trunk of his car.

The delay of game lasted 10 minutes or so, during which time spectators helped haul El Diablo’s crew out from underneath the stands. Then El Diablo herself emerged. Her jeering face was gone. Now she was crying dramatically and clutching her ankle. It took four adults to carry her out.

I probably shouldn’t have smiled but I couldn’t help it. An enormous grin spread across my entire face. “Coach, when the game starts again, I’m ready to go in,” I said confidently. I watched David and Trinity innocently slip back into their spots in the Lakeville stands.

I knew from then on that I would be just fine. They had my back.

We won the battle but lost the war. I led the Lakeville’s men’s’ soccer team to a 3-2 rout of Memorial but we only survived a few more games before getting knocked out of the state tournament. In the end, it seemed that we just weren’t good enough to compete at that level yet.

The one good piece of news was that El Diablo finally seemed to have been defeated once and for all. She missed several days of school, supposedly for medical reasons, even though she only had a sprained ankle. When she finally came back she greeted to an exposé by Little Miss Aphrodite in the school newspaper. The mysterious reporter had gotten her hands on some photos of El Diablo cheering for Memorial and ran them with an article about how El Diablo had plotted to sabotage certain unnamed players on the Lakeville team. It turned out that the Lakeville student body wasn’t so generous to traitors. Before the day was out, her posse refused to be seen with her and, unable to suffer any more angry stares or snide comments, El Diablo fled the school. We got word that she was going to be homeschooled from then on.

I had already decided to try out for the wrestling team but there was a two week lull between soccer and wrestling. I wanted to keep training with David but he told me that I needed to give myself at least a one-week rest. It was excruciating and my mind quickly started to wander. Whenever it did that, it inevitably landed on girls.

I hadn’t quite completed my hookup list yet. Technically, I had kissed both Alyssa and Olivia, so the only people left were Lily Wong and Trinity. Then, of course, I needed to seduce Sadie to free Aaron from her clutches… although for some reason I was growing less certain every day of the need for that. Hearing Aaron talk about Sadie and seeing the herculean efforts he went to in order to make her happy gave me pause. Perhaps he had truly found the love of his life. I didn’t really feel like hooking up with Lily Wong either. No, there was really only one girl that I had on my mind, and whenever I thought about her I immediately felt shy and nervous. Trinity London was like my kryptonite.

Eventually, I had to give up on the idea of straight up asking her out. Just thinking about doing that – and hearing her say no – made me feel queasy. I decided to take a less direct route and gain the support of her inner circle. Unfortunately, that meant starting with Bryson.

Bryson and I had settled into a sort of uneasy truce. He couldn't haze me when I was helping his soccer team win games and he seemed to have gotten a bit less aggressive since I had seen him making out with a guy, even though he had no way of knowing that I was the person in the panda suit. Still, he looked at me suspiciously whenever Trinity was around and I got the distinct feeling that he knew I liked her. I needed to make him my ally.

The idea of hooking Bryson up with Liam had occurred to me long ago but I had dismissed it immediately. It seemed rather narrow-minded to think that the only two closet gays I knew should be dating each other. Why not, though? Bryson and Liam had a lot in common. They were both twins. They both loved sports. Plus, at least according to the Hottie List, they were both good-looking. Why wouldn’t they want to date each other?

I decided to arrange a meeting between them. I couldn’t fix them up on a blind date but I could at least put them in the same place and see if there was any chemistry. Dylan had set up a night of bowling for the soccer guys as a kind of post-season get together. Many of the guys were bringing friends. I invited Liam and, so it wouldn’t look suspicious, Sam and David to hang out with us. Then I waited until Bryson had chosen which lane he was going to be bowling on and picked the one beside it.

“Wow, great bowl Bryson!” I exclaimed after Bryson got a strike. “Wasn’t that a great bowl, Liam?” I asked pointedly.

Bryson gave me a funny look. Liam glanced from him to me awkwardly. “Yeah, I guess, good job,” he said.

I smiled. This was good. Now they were talking. I tried it two more times before Liam grabbed me by the sleeve and hauled me off to the side.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.
“Why are you acting like a frickin’ idiot all of a sudden?”

I looked in Bryson’s direction furtively to make sure he wasn’t watching us. “Don’t tell anyone this, but Bryson is gay,” I hissed.

Liam looked at me blankly for a moment. Then he turned around and started walking away.

“Wait, where are you going?” I asked.

“I’m going to turn my shoes in and then I’m leaving,” he said. “Are you serious right now? You’re trying to set me up? In public?”

“Maybe,” I said. “Come on.
Why not?”

“Because it’s not like that!”
Liam exclaimed, rounding on me angrily. “I’m gay. That doesn’t make me some sort of animal. You can’t throw me at another gay guy and just assume it’ll work out.”

“You’re saying you don’t think he’s hot?” I asked.

“Well… that’s irrelevant,” Liam said. “There’s more to attraction than good looks. I don’t know anything about his personality.”

“So? How can you get to know about his personality?” I said. “Oh, that’s right, by talking to him.”

Liam glared at me. Finally, he gave up and rolled his eyes. “I don’t even know if he likes me,” Liam said.

“Again, another thing you won’t know unless you talk to him and – gasp – maybe even ask him out. What a concept,” I said dryly. “How is this so hard? I get why it’s tough when you’ve got a girl involved ‘
cause they always complicate things but shouldn’t it be pretty straight forward with another guy?”

“Fine.
I’ll give it a shot, Cupid,” Liam said. “But don’t think I don’t know why you’re doing this. You’re trying to get close to his sister. Well, it’s not going to work. If you want to go out with her, you’re going to need to man up and take your own advice.”

Liam found a way to start a conversation with Bryson. They never stopped talking for the rest of the night. By the time we had to leave to get back home in time for curfew, I saw Bryson slip Liam a piece a paper with some numbers written on it. Liam caught my eye and I grinned.

“Not a word from you,” Liam said as soon as Bryson had walked out the door.

“What? I wasn’t going to say anything,” I said innocently. “I wasn’t even going to say, ‘I told you so.’”

As time went on, Liam started seeing more and more of Bryson. Soon, they were inseparable, though they acted like nothing but friends at school. Sadly, Liam was right. While Bryson was happier now and would even smile at me occasionally in the hallways, I seemed no closer to going on a date with Trinity.

That was okay, though, because there was no girl who was out of Nathan Caldwell’s reach. I had a foolproof backup plan. My brother, Aaron, was coming home for Thanksgiving. Zach, my best friend from
Southcrest, had managed to convince his parents to let him spend Thanksgiving with us as well. Of course, I also had David here. So, I would have both of my brothers and my best friend in one place. That was three stellar wing men.

I was sure I could get one of them to ask Trinity to go out with me.

“He’s gotten fat, hasn't he Zach?” Aaron said critically.

“You’re telling me. He looks a bit like a marshmallow,” Zach replied.

“Shut up you morons,” I said with an irrepressible smile across my face.

Zach dropped his suitcase on the airport floor and gave me a man hug – a handshake with a left-arm wrap-around smack on the back. Then he let go and slapped a one dollar bill in my hand. “Bring the luggage, okay kid?” Aaron put his arm around Zach’s shoulders and the two of them walked away chatting to each other. I shook my head, hefted up Zach’s heavy suitcase, and walked after them.

It felt good to have Aaron and Zach around. Aaron had arrived on Wednesday and we went to the airport together on Thursday to pick up Zach. By Thursday afternoon the three of us were back at my house playing pool.

“So… let me get this straight. You’re not hooking up with anyone right now?” Zach asked skeptically.

“Not at the moment, exactly, no,” I said.

“And why is that?” Zach said.

“Perhaps it’s because he’s saving himself for the right girl,” Aaron said. There was a little twinkle in his eye.

Zach laughed. “Nate Caldwell? You don’t know your own brother, man,” he said. “Eight ball, left corner pocket,” he said. He took the shot. The cue ball ricocheted off the eight ball, which missed the pocket.

“Dude, I’ve hooked up with almost a dozen chicks since I’ve been here,” I said. “Even I have to rest once and a while,
ya know?” I bent down and aimed my cue stick. “Eight ball, right side pocket,” I said.

“So the fact that you haven’t landed Trinity London yet doesn’t have anything to do with it?” Aaron asked.

The words hit me like a sledge hammer. I was so surprised that my hand slipped and my cue sliced the side of the cue ball. It missed the eight ball altogether. “Who told you that?” I demanded, looking up at him. “It was Sadie, wasn’t it?”

“Nope,” Aaron said. “Get out of the way. It’s my shot. Right back pocket.” Aaron sunk the eight ball with a rocket shot. “I’ve got my sources,” he said as he stood back up.

I scratched my head. Who else knew that I liked Trinity? “Was it Dylan?” I asked.

“
Nuh-uh,” Aaron said. “David told me.”

“David? What? How did David know? When were you talking to David?” I asked.

“From what I gather, Faith told him that you liked Trinity,” Aaron said. “She’s a pretty observant girl, you know? She figured that your big brothers might be able to do something to help.” Aaron walked over to me and put his arm around my neck. “And as for when I was talking to him, well, of course I called him after I found out who your father was. We needed to figure out how to share our little brother. He gets you for most of this year but next year we’re splitting you equally. I get half the vacations and he gets the other half. We both reserve the right to kick your ass whenever you need it.” Aaron tightened his grip on me and gave me a noogie that made the top of my head feel raw.

“Ah! Okay, okay, I get it. Let go,” I exclaimed, finally managing to get away from him. For some reason, though, I had a stupid smile plastered on my face.

“So, what are we going to do about this girl?” Zach asked. “I guess we should go find her and get the two of you together.”

“Oh no,” I said. “It’s become very clear to me that I can’t let you two bozos around her.”

“It seems my little bro has become so smitten with this girl that he’s terrified of her,” Aaron said to Zach. “Therefore, David and I, as his big brothers, had to step in.”

Uh no.
“What did you do?” I asked with trepidation.

“We called the girl in question up, told her how you’ve been pining after her but are completely tongue tied, that you lack quite a bit more brain cells than the average person and, it seems, balls, but that you’d nonetheless love to take her out on a date,” Aaron said proudly.

“You didn’t,” I said in horror.

“Oh yes,” Aaron said. “She agreed to go on a date with you tonight… whether out of sympathy or something more, I do not know. I’d imagine sympathy but who can say?”

I stared at his face, trying to see if he was bluffing. “You’re a bad liar,” I said uncertainly.

“That’s why I never lie,” Aaron said seriously. “Oh, and Sadie and Faith are coming over to help get you ready. We want to make sure you don’t look like a bum for once. I’d have thought they’d be here by…”

The doorbell rang.

“Ah, that’ll be them right now,” Aaron said happily. “Just stay right there. I’ll go let them in so they can get started.”

“Started? Started on what?” I yelled after him as he ran upstairs.

Grooming.
It turned out that Sadie and Faith were not so impressed with my usual carefree look.

“You kissed him?” Faith said to Sadie. She was looking at me critically. “You didn’t make him comb his hair or something first?”

“He had just come out of the shower,” Sadie said.

“Ah, that it explains it. He was clean. He hadn’t contaminated himself yet,” Faith said.

“Hey,” I protested.

“Don’t worry,” Sadie said. “We’ll get you ready. Now get in the shower.”

The girls wouldn’t take no for an answer. Aaron watched in amusement and Zach outright laughed as the girls marched me upstairs and ordered me into the bathroom. They left me alone only long enough to shower. Then, as soon as I had shut the water off and put a towel around my waist, they busted back in and pulled out their instruments of torture.

“
Ow. Ow!” I exclaimed. “Stop that!”

“Don’t be such a baby
,” Sadie said. “I’m just plucking a few rogue eyebrow hairs. Hold still.”

“
Ow!”

“Okay now lean back,” Sadie said. “We’re going to shave you.”

“Uh, are you sure?” I said. “Don’t girls like some stubble? And do you know how to shave a guy?”

“Girls don’t like stubble on high school guys,” Sadie advised me. “You’re still a kid. Own it. There’s plenty of time later for the stubble. Plus, if you get a kiss, you don’t want that to scratch her. And of course I know how to shave a guy. If I can shave my legs every day I think I can shave a face.”

It turned out that shaving legs had nothing to do with shaving faces. By the time she was done, I was bleeding from several places.

Faith parted my hair on the left side and brushed it back on my head. “I look like a nerd,” I complained once they let me look in a mirror.

“You look sweet and respectable for once,” Faith said. “Trinity will like that you made the effort. Don’t worry; you can go back to your regular slovenly self tomorrow.”

“Good news,” Sadie said. “I borrowed a stylish blazer from Dylan and your brother has a great v-neck you should wear.”

“That’d go well with that distressed pair of dark blue jeans you have,” Faith said. “What brand are they again?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” I said. “You realize they’re authentically distressed, right? Like, from Aaron and then me wearing them.”

“Oh. Well, that doesn’t matter, they look nice,” Faith said.

I reluctantly put on the clothes the girls had laid out for me – more to earn a reprieve for my eardrums from their caterwauling than because I thought it would help. The hardest part, though, was walking out of my bedroom to face Aaron and Zach.

“Hah! Would you look at that!” Zach cried. “They’ve dressed him up like a little prince. I’d hardly recognize him.”

“I think he looks beautiful,” Sadie said with a smile.

“Not bad,” Faith admitted.

“He looks just fine. We can’t do anything about the funny nose, big ears, or height,” Aaron said.

“I’m taller than you,” I retorted.

“Hah! Well, your eyesight obviously needs to be checked then, but we can worry about that later,” Aaron said. “You’re going to pick her up at 6 PM and take her to dinner at Chez Jacques. After that, take her for a walk around the lake. It’s not too cold today.”

“Chez Jacques? That fancy French place? I can’t afford that,” I protested. “Plus, I don’t think the valets even allow cars like your old rust pot in the parking lot. No offense.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Faith said. “I explained the situation to my dad – our dad – and he said you could borrow his BMW.”

My mouth dropped open. Matt was willing to let me borrow his car? They were all doing this for me? Why?

“We love you, little bro,” Aaron said, answering the question in my head. “Don’t forget it or we’re all going to have to
whup you. Now go get your crush and take her on the best date of your lives.”

I hesitated. “She’s different,” I said quietly. “I can’t explain it. I barely even know her. There’s just something about her… I don’t think I can do this.”

“Just relax and be yourself,” Sadie said with a smile. “Don’t worry. If you genuinely like her that much, than I think Trinity is going to be willing to overlook a bit of shyness and stutters. Something tells me, though, and that you’re going to do just fine.”

Sadie and Faith drove me back to Faith’s house, where I picked up Matt’s car and drove all of about 5 miles per hour to the London house. When I arrived in the driveway I sat there for a solid two minutes, unable to muster up the courage to get out of the car. Finally, I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and got out of the car. The walk up to the
Londons’ front door seemed like the longest of my life.

Bryson answered the door and did a double take when he saw me.
“Holy crap, dude. You look…”

“I know I look ridiculous. No need to rub it in,” I said. “Is, uh, your sister here?”

“That wasn’t exactly what I was going to say,” Bryson said softly. “Yeah, she’s here. She’s just been getting ready for, like, the past four hours. I’ll go see if she’s ready. Oh, and obviously it goes without saying, but if this date doesn’t go well, or if you hurt my sister in any way, I’m going to kill you. Slowly. And it’s going to be really painful.”

The words sounded almost obligatory and half-hearted. Was Bryson actually warming up to me? “Completely understood,” I said. “I’ll treat her like a princess.”

“Good,” Bryson said. “I’d hate to lose one of my best teammates. We’re going to need you next year to win that state championship.”

Bryson went off to find Trinity and I went back to sweating. What was I doing here? Trinity was going to think that I was a coward for having my family ask her out for me instead of doing it myself. She had already made it clear that she was not romantically interested in me. Hadn’t she? This was a bad idea.
A very bad idea. I should just slip out and save her the awkwardness of having to tell me to get lost.

Yes. That was what I would do. She had probably forgotten about our date anyway. I half turned to go but at that moment Trinity walked down the stairs and stepped into the hallway.

I stopped breathing. I think my heart stopped pumping as well. Everything around me seemed to freeze. There was only her, standing in front of me like a beautiful angel. She was wearing some type of nice red shirt and skirt with a black jacket but I didn’t really see it all that well because I couldn’t take my eyes off her perfect, kind, innocent face.

“Hi,” she said. There was a slight tremor in her voice.

“Hi. You look, um, beautiful,” I said. Wow. How original.

“So do you,” Trinity said.

We both blushed.

“This is painful. Just go already,” Bryson said. I blinked in surprise and realized that he was standing in the hallway as well. How long had he been there?

Trinity and I walked out to the driveway and I held the car door open for her. Once she was in the car I ran around to the other side and got in as well. I took the keys out of my pocket but fumbled them and dropped them on the floor. “Sorry,” I mumbled without thinking. “I’m a little nervous.”

“Nervous?” Trinity repeated. She grabbed my arm and I looked up into her eyes.
Her beautiful blue eyes. “You’re nervous? I’m the nervous one. It took me almost four hours to get ready today. I probably shouldn’t have said that. I’m just… happy that we’re finally going out together.”

The pressure was gone. She liked me and she was as nervous as I was. I smiled. “I’ve heard this restaurant is pretty great,” I said.

“Expensive too,” Trinity said. “Want to skip it and just go for pizza? There’s a great little hole-in-the-wall place in town that I just discovered.”

“That sounds amazing,” I said. Suddenly talking to Trinity seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

We went and got pizza and then went for a stroll around the lake. From that moment on, we were pretty much inseparable.