Hopeless (24 page)

Lena’s mouth fell open when they passed the
small guest house.

He could only imagine how it must look to
her, someone who had probably spent most of her life residing in bedrooms the
size of his walk-in closet. “I know this may seem a little intimidating at
first, but trust me, Trey and Sierra are regular people, just like you and me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Like you maybe. They
sure as hell ain’t like me.” 

Jay knew Sierra’s background was more like
Lena’s than the girl realized, but it was Sierra’s story to tell, if she chose
to, not his. “You treat them right, they’ll treat you right.” He eased his
truck up to the front doors of the sprawling stone and stucco bungalow and cut
the engine. “You ready to do this?”

Her big dark eyes were wide and frantic. “I
don’t think I can. I don’t belong here.”

“Will you at least meet them?” He knew the
Turners would make Lena feel at home, if she set aside her fear long enough to
give them a chance.

She bit her bottom lip as she looked up at
the imposing, hand carved wood doors. “I don’t know. What if they don’t like
me?”

It took everything in Jay not to reach out
and hold her hand, but he knew she wasn’t used to random acts of kindness from
a stranger. Her life had been about the struggle to survive up to this point.
It was probably inconceivable to her that her meeting with the Turners would go
smoothly, that they might just like her because they could see she was a good
kid who just needed a break.

“Come on,” Jay said, reaching for his door
handle. He didn’t intend to give her time to reconsider her decision. He jogged
around the front of his truck and pulled her door open. “If you’re not
comfortable here, I promise I’ll take you back to the shelter.” He held his
hands up. “No pressure, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered. She reluctantly took
Jay’s hand as he helped her out of the big truck. “Thanks.” She followed him up
the steps and stood behind him as he rang the doorbell.

Trey opened the door, a huge grin splitting
his tanned face. “Get the hell in here,” he said to Jay, grabbing his hand and
pulling him into a half-hug.

“Trey, this is the girl I was tellin’ you
about. Lena, this is Trey Turner.”

Trey tipped his cowboy hat a second before
his eyes fell to the girl’s protruding stomach. He raised an eyebrow as he
glanced at Jay. To his credit, he didn’t miss a beat as he offered his hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lena.”

She cleared her throat and lowered her head
before taking Trey’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’m a big fan.”

Trey chuckled. “Can’t have too many of
those.”

Sierra came out of the kitchen, scarcely
looking old enough to have a daughter nearly Lena’s age. With her long blond
hair pulled up in a ponytail and her face scrubbed free of make-up, she didn’t
look like the lady of an impressive mansion. “There you are,” she said, walking
toward the group. She pulled Jay into a hug. “We’ve been waitin’ lunch on you.”

Jay smiled. “You didn’t need to, but thanks.”

She winked. “I talked my hubby into
grilling his famous basil burgers.”

“I take it back. I’m glad you waited on
us.”

Sierra laughed before including Lena in her
smile. “Hi, you must be the friend Jay told us about. We’re so happy to have
you.”

“Lena, this is Mrs. Turner,” Jay said,
slipping his arm around Sierra’s waist.

Sierra reached forward to pull the young
girl into a quick embrace instead of offering her hand. “It’s Sierra. Mrs.
Turner is Trey’s mama.”

Jay’s heart swelled as he watched Lena pat
Sierra’s back awkwardly. He was so damn lucky to have so many amazing people in
his life. If only Victoria had stuck around long enough to get to know them
better. Judging by the brief amount of time they spent with her at the birthday
party, he knew they were already crazy about her. Before long, she would be one
of them, and instead of having to face every battle alone, she would have all
of them to love her and support her through the tough times.

Sierra slipped her hand into Lena’s. “My
daughter, Alisa, is out by the pool. Come, I want you to meet her.”

Jay watched Sierra lead Lena outside. He’d
hoped offering Lena a place to stay might solve her immediate problems, but
when he saw her with Sierra, he realized she may finally have a hope of finding
a real home.

“I can’t thank you enough for doin’ this,
Trey.”

“You know I oughta kick your ass.” The two
men exchanged a brief smile. As big and tough as Trey had been on the football
field in his prime, there was no way he could take Jay down on his best day.
“You coulda told me she was expectin’, boy.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

Trey looked out the French doors his wife
had just passed through. “I don’t know. I have a feelin’ Sierra’s maternal
instincts are already kickin’ into overdrive. That’s what worries me. I don’t
wanna see my wife get hurt. If she trusts Lena, and she lets her down—”

“She won’t. Lena’s a good girl. I don’t
know her well, but I have a really good feelin’ about her. She’s had a rough life;
she just needs somebody to cut her some slack.”

Trey slapped Jay on the back as he led him
out to the patio. “That I can do.”

Victoria stared at the embossed card as she
tried to keep her hands from trembling. She’d never asked for help before,
never been willing to admit life had dealt her a blow she couldn’t handle on
her own. But this time it had. She couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Lena
to fend for herself, but the thought of being a mother, of taking
responsibility for a helpless infant knowing full well she may have to leave
her someday, was more than Victoria could bear to think about.

“Dr. Greene’s office.”

Victoria thought about hanging up, but with
the same courage she’d attacked every problem she’d faced, she said, “Would it
be possible to schedule a phone consultation with the doctor?”

“Do you have a referral from your family
physician?”

“Yes, Dr. Dalton referred me.”

“Dr. Greene doesn’t usually conduct phone
consultations, miss.”

“I understand, but I’m calling from out of
town. I was hoping…” She was praying the doctor would be able to help her forge
a new path in life. She didn’t want to live in fear anymore. She didn’t want
the cancer to steal her remaining days. Whether it was months or decades, she
wanted to make the most of the time she had left.

“One moment, please.”

Victoria held her breath as she waited and
prayed the doctor would agree to work with her.

“Hello.”

The voice on the other end of the phone line
wasn’t the same as the first. This woman sounded serious, as opposed to genial.
“Um hello, my name’s Victoria Pierce. I was hoping to talk to Dr. Greene.”

“Victoria, ah yes, Dr. Dalton told me to
expect your call. My receptionist said you weren’t able to come in to the
office for a session?”

“I’m out of town right now.”
Running scared.

“I’m just taking a quick lunch break right
now. I have a bit of time to talk.”

Victoria knew approaching an esteemed
psychologist this way was highly inappropriate, but she didn’t have anyone else
to turn to. “I’m sorry to bother you on your lunch break, but—”

“Think nothing of it. Why don’t you start
by telling me why you called today?”

“I’m not sure if Dr. Dalton told you about
my medical history, but I had stage three ovarian cancer almost eight years
ago.” Victoria waited, but when the doctor didn’t respond, she continued. “I’ve
had difficulty coming to terms with it.”

“The cancer or your remission?”

The question was so blunt, so unexpected.
“Um, I’m not sure. I’m afraid the cancer might return,” she whispered. “I think
about it every day.”

“You went through a traumatic ordeal; it’s
not uncommon to continue suffering the effects many years later. Tell me, have
you told your family or friends how you feel?”

“I don’t have any family or many close
friends.” She didn’t want to hide from the truth anymore; she knew if she
expected the doctor to help her, she had to be honest about everything.

“Your parents have passed on?”

“No, ma’am.” She gripped the telephone
receiver harder. “I’ve never known either of them. I grew up in foster care.”

“I see. Victoria, did something happen that
prompted you to call me now?”

“Yes, I have an opportunity to adopt a
baby. I want to, but… I’m scared.”

“What are you afraid of?”

How could she put her irrational fear into
words that would make sense to a rational person? “I’m afraid the cancer may
return, and then I would be leaving an innocent baby to fend for herself.”

“The way you had to fend for yourself?”

“Yes.” She was determined to hold back the
tears, at least until she hung up the phone, but it wasn’t easy.

“But you don’t know how long you have; none
of us can predict the future.”

“I know.” Rationally, she knew it was true,
but it still didn’t put her mind at ease.

“Are you prepared to love this baby?” the
doctor asked quietly.

Victoria’s mind flashed back to the blip
she saw on the ultrasound machine. “With all my heart.”

“Do you think you have something of value
to offer an infant?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me about it.”

She knew the doctor was challenging her
because it was the only way she was going to be able to face the truth. “I know
I’m strong, independent, capable, intelligent…”

“If you were to adopt, and ten years down
the road, you died, what’s the one lesson you’d want to leave your son or
daughter with?”

“To be fearless…” she whispered. The doctor
didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. They both knew Victoria had an epiphany in
the short time they’d been talking. “Thank you.”

“This isn’t the end, Victoria. It’s only
the beginning. You have a long and difficult road ahead of you. I’d like to
help you, but I can’t until you’re willing to face your fears.”

“I am.”

“Good, call me when you’re ready to set up
an appointment.”

Jay stepped onto the elevator in his condo
building and groaned when he saw his brother. He had a long and tiring day, and
he couldn’t deal with any more advice. Everyone he’d talked to thought his
decision should be simple. If he cared about Victoria as much as he said he
did, he should just track her down and force her to face what she was feeling
for him, assuming he hadn’t imagined the depth of their connection. He knew her
feelings for him were real, but he also knew he couldn’t force her to
acknowledge them if she wasn’t ready.

Mike grinned. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks, so do you.”

“Liar.”

Jay rolled his eyes. His brother was one
cocky S.O.B. “Quit givin’ me grief. I’m not in the mood tonight.”

“You wanna come over for a beer?”

Jay considered his options. He knew he
wouldn’t be able to sleep; he’d probably toss and turn thinking about Victoria,
wondering where she was or willing the phone to ring. “Sure, why not?”

They stepped off the elevator and Jay followed
Mike into his condo. Their units were almost identical, except for the interior
features and furnishings they’d selected. Jay preferred warm, traditional
décor, while Mike seemed to favor to sparse and modern. Jay suspected his
brother had just been too lazy to finish decorating the place, but at the
moment, he wouldn’t care if they were sitting on orange crates.

Jay sank down on the smooth leather sofa
and waited for Mike to return with the beer he’d promised.

Mike passed him a bottle before claiming
the suede chair opposite him. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Yes, you do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t
be here.” Mike kicked his booted feet up on the leather ottoman between them.
“I’m listenin’.” He tapped the face of his watch. “But the clock is tickin’. I
have a date in a couple of hours.”

“Tori?”

“Hell no! What makes you think I’d wanna
see her again? I told you, what happened with her never should’ve happened.”

“What’s your problem with her? She’s a
sweetheart. You’d see that if you were willin’ to give her half a chance.”

Mike tipped the bottle to his lips and took
a deep swallow before he said, “She’s loud and obnoxious.”

“So are you.”

Mike scowled. “She thinks she knows
everything.”

“So do you.” Jay grinned. “So far, you two
sound perfect for each other.”

“She sleeps around.”

Jay narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure
out whether his brother was fishing for information. He and Tori were friends,
but they didn’t share intimate details of their lives. Even if they did, he
wouldn’t break her confidence by telling his brother. “You don’t really believe
the shit you read in those rags, do you?”