Hopeless Vows (6 page)

I take a moment to survey the room as the night dwindles down. Everyone looks happy, smiling and enjoying themselves. Both sides are interacting with each other and getting along. Drinks are flowing, food is eaten, and songs are danced to. This is everything I ever wanted.

And it’s the thing I can’t have.

AS AUSTIN AND I
make our ascent up the elevator, a new set of worries consume me. I know he said there were no expectations for tonight, but that doesn’t make me any less nervous. I mean, this is the most anticipated night for normal newlyweds. I guess we don’t really fall under the category of “normal” though.

He unlocks the door and I start to go in, but I’m stopped by his hand on my wrist. “Uh, uh, uh. Now what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t carry my wife across the threshold?” Without waiting for a response, he bends slightly and scoops me up in his arms. His eyes hold me captive as he walks us into the suite and I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my lips.

He’s the first to break eye contact and look around. “Wow, this is a pretty fancy set up we have here.” Without putting me down, he walks around the room and I take in all of its amenities.

It really is stunning. A large, four poster bed draped in a white, organza canopy sits in the center. To the far corner is the largest tub I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Dozens of tea light candles placed around the edges make it warm and inviting. “Looks like someone was setting the mood,” I tease.

“It appears that way, but I meant what I said. We can lay in the bed and I can watch you snore for all I care.”

I scoff in offense. “I do not snore.”

“I guess we’ll find out.” He always has this sideways grin on his face when he’s giving me a hard time. I’m starting to realize that’s his way of letting me know he’s only joking.

He makes his way to the bed and gently sets me down on the edge. “Want a drink?” he asks as he points to the wet bar that’s visible in an adjoining room. There’s an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne next to a plate of chocolate covered strawberries on the counter. Man, they really tried to create a love shack in here. Turning around slowly, I’m reminded of just how unsexy this whole thing is as I stare at a camera that’s pointing at me while two other people stand quietly by. Even if I was ready to take that step, it’s a little hard with an audience. I’m not a porn star, after all.

He comes back and hands me a glass. “To marrying a stranger and happily ever afters,” he toasts. We clink our champagne flutes together before taking a sip.

A few moments of silence pass between us before I speak up. “I feel like we didn’t get to talk a lot during the wedding. I meant to ask you what kind of business you own, but we kinda got interrupted by the photographer when we were talking.” I set the glass down on the nightstand and lean back against the headboard.

“I own a chain of gyms. Ever heard of Fit Now?” I nod my head. “Well I own them and franchise them out. My dad started up this small gym. It wasn’t anything impressive. There weren’t fancy machines and tanning beds with rows of protein shakes to choose from. It was gritty and raw, but motivating. People that went there came to work out without all the frills. He kept it basic and believed in the simplicity of it. When I turned eighteen, I took that idea and expanded it. My gyms have more machinery to appeal to women who are intimidated by big weights, but it’s pretty basic. And people seem to like it since I’ve grown it to over thirty locations in twelve years.”

Hearing his dedication and determination is inspiring and shows me he’s not afraid to put in the work and effort to ensure something succeeds. “Must be nice to be left something by your family and watch it succeed like it has.” I give him a tight smile.

“Yeah, I just hope my old man is proud.” He looks down at his hands and I can see the sadness wash over him. Guilt hits me in the gut so hard it almost knocks the wind out of me. I’m not sure how to respond. “I’d hate to hit on a touchy subject, but I noticed you didn’t have many family or friends here today. Why is that?” There’s no judgment when I look into his chocolate orbs, just curiosity.

“I have no family. They died when I was younger.” I shrug like it’s no big deal, like telling someone your family is dead happens to everyone all the time.

“I’m so sorry.” What I don’t see in his reaction shocks me. I expected to see pity, but there’s nothing but understanding. Of course, he’d know better than anyone. “Maybe that’s another reason the experts put us together. My parents died when I was younger and I grew up with my uncle, so I know how you feel.”

Having enough of the heavy talking, I jump up off the bed. “I’m going to get out of this dress and get comfortable.” I don’t wait for a response as I retreat to the bathroom.

That was too much, too fast. I thought I’d be able to hold off all talk about family for at least a day, but no. Why? Because the universe clearly hates me. This is only day one and I still have fifty-five more to go. I don’t know if I’m going to make it. My secrets are eating me alive and I don’t think I’ll be able to contain them before they dig their way out of my disgusting body and expose me for the fraud I am.

Once I’m out of the shower, I throw on a pair of yoga pants and an oversized shirt. My reflection is not what I would have imagined I’d see on my wedding night. Most couples are chomping at the bit to consummate their marriage. Then again, we’re not most couples. With a shrug, I walk out to see Austin in nothing but some sweatpants. This is obviously the first time I’ve seen his bare chest, and the sight has me salivating. He has a sleeve of tattoos that run the length of his right arm, forming an intricate pattern up and around his broad shoulder. A smooth, defined chest leads down to a flat set of six-pack abs. Holy shit, he’s mouthwatering. Just pure perfection.

Thank you, experts, for delivering me an Adonis.
I quickly shake the thought from my head. No, I can’t have these kinds of thoughts while keeping my distance.

“Like what you see, Mrs. James?” he asks with a cocky grin, effectively breaking me from my trance.

“Actually, I was just thinking about how you should put some clothes on. No one wants to see all that.” I think I’d almost be convincing if it weren’t for my damn cheeks heating in embarrassment.

“I’d call bullshit on that,” he says with a chuckle.

“What makes you say that?” I challenge, standing on my side of the bed with my hands on my hips.

“I can read people pretty well.”

God, I hope not.

I don’t respond to his last comment and slide into bed.

“Okay, we’re done for today,” one of the cameramen say to us. “We’ll be here at seven in the morning, and remember anything you guys want to say or discuss has to wait until we’re here. We want first reactions to everything so we get authentic footage, okay?”

We both nod and they leave.

Lying in silence, both of us looking at the ceiling is awkward to say the least. Are we not supposed to talk at all without the cameras present? This could be a lot harder than I thought it’d be.

“So . . . ,” he trails off.

“So.”

He rolls over on his side and faces me. “I was thinking.” I mimic his movement and turn to him. “The crew will be back bright and early in the morning, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What if we get up early every day and talk a little before they get here? That way there’s no pressure of it being filmed and it’s really just you and me.”

“But won’t that put us in breach of contract or something?”

“Fuck the contract. How would they know anyway?” He does have a point. “Look, we only have eight weeks together before we make the decision to stay together or go our separate ways. Let’s make the most of it. This will give us a real chance to get to know each other.” The hope in his eyes is almost too much. I know my eyes mirrored his at the beginning of all this. Then I walked down the aisle and everything went spinning out of control. But if I’m going to make him and everyone else believe I’m really trying, what other choice do I have?

“Sure, I like that idea.”

“Great.” He leans forward and kisses me on the nose. It’s such an innocent and sweet gesture, but it does weird things to my insides.

Damn him.

“Goodnight, Jillian.”

“Goodnight, Austin.”

With lights out, I fall into a deep sleep where karma wasn’t such a bitch and fate didn’t hate me.

I’M UP WAY
earlier than I’d like to be, especially with the eventful day I had yesterday. I slept pretty sound, which is surprising considering I was in bed with a stranger all night. Lying here in the quiet, one thought keeps playing over in my head.

Holy shit, I really went through with this.

Rolling over slowly, I look at Austin. He’s still asleep, so I take the opportunity to study him. He really is heartbreakingly gorgeous. It makes me wonder why he would do this experiment. I’m sure he’s never had any issues finding a woman to keep him company.

He’s on his side with one arm under his pillow, and the other draped across his body, showcasing his firm bicep. My eyes travel down slowly, taking in each line, each defined piece of muscle until I get to the blanket that rests low at his hips. I dig my fingers into the sheets to keep from reaching out and touching him.

“Like what you see?” he asks, his voice gruff from sleep, startling me. It may be the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard in my life.

“Since we’re married, I figured I’d check out the goods.” To be honest, I’m mortified I just got caught ogling him, but I’m hoping I played it off well enough.

Without opening his eyes, he rolls over onto his back and puts his hands behind his head. The lean muscles of his abs stretch, proving that not an ounce of fat lives on his body. “Let me give you a better view,” he says smugly.

I swat his chest and roll my eyes. “I should’ve told the experts I like modesty in a man.”

Before I can even register what’s happening, he’s on top of me with my hands pinned beside my head. His entire frame is pressed firmly against mine and every cell within me is hyperaware of his presence. “Modesty, huh?” he whispers low in my ear. My body heats from head to toe as his hot breath hits my skin. He leans back slightly and looks into my eyes. My chest rises and falls at an increased speed waiting for him to do or say something. Anything. “I call bullshit. In fact, I think you like that I’m
cocky
.”