Horizons (6 page)

He groaned and surrendered to the need, tugging on his zipper and releasing his cock, which was thick with desire for an untouchable man. He rubbed his thumb around the head, spreading the beads of precum, and let the fantasy fly.

He imagined Clark sucking on him, licking him with hot, pressing strokes, while his hand cupped his balls and kneaded them gently. Jody’s movements sped up, and he convulsed, watching the milky liquid spurt out of him in a steady stream, coating his stomach. He sighed unhappily, knowing he’d be alone again as soon as the pulsing stopped.

He made his way back into the house, turning off the lights along the way and pausing to activate the burglar alarm and secure the front door. When he got to his bedroom, he threw himself on the bed, and buried his face against his pillow.

T
HE
door squeaked and I opened my eyes to see my mother standing at the foot of the bed.

“Hey, Mom.”

“I thought you weren’t coming until today.”

“Change of plans.”

“Do you want some breakfast?”

“What time is it?”

“Almost eleven.”

“Nice of you to let me sleep so long.”

“Well, it is the weekend. I figured you could use the rest.”

She hovered over my bed with a coffee cup in her hand, and passed it to me when I sat up and leaned against the headboard.

“Here you go, honey. Nice and sweet, just the way you like it.”

“Thanks.”

“How’s your arm?”

I looked at the cast that wasn’t white any longer and shrugged. “Still broken.”

“I brought you some plastic wrap for your shower.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I loved her to death, but she always made me feel like I was ten. She couldn’t get it in her head that her “baby” was twenty-two years old and about to become a senior.

“Where’s Dad?”

“Out in the yard with Zach and Jason.”

“And the rest of the gang?”

“Robby’s not here yet, and Michael’s at the store getting the beer.”

“Do you want me to do anything?”

“Not until later. I’d like you to help with the tables and chairs.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“What is it, sweetie?”

“Why are you making such a big deal over this birthday?”

“It isn’t every day that you turn thirty.”

“Is that such an important number?”

“Well, not really, but in your brother’s case I think we’re doing this because he’s about to become a father, and then it will be all about his child. This will be the last time he’ll be the center of attention. At least for a long while,” she said, laughing gently.

“If parenting makes you invisible, then I suppose no one has paid any attention to you in years, huh, Mom?”

“Don’t be silly. I get plenty of attention,” she defended, looking at me with eyes that mirrored mine. In fact, everything about my mother was like me, including her need for my father’s approval.

“Clark, we got a call from your coach.”

“I figured as much.”

“He told your father that there was some sort of problem.”

“I’ve got it on lockdown, Mom.”

“Dad’s going to say something.”

“I need a shower; do you mind?”

“I’m going,” she shot back, assuming I was naked from the pile of clothes on the floor.

I turned the water on full blast, steeling myself for the confrontation with my dad. I knew it was going to be another round of cross-examination, but at least I had an answer for once. Having Jody in my court would keep my father happy, and get him off my back until I passed the English class.

Thinking of Jody only gave me another excuse to get rid of my morning boner. I imagined him in the shower stall with me, on his knees with my cock in his mouth. That picture was enough to get me off, and I exploded, shooting ropes of cum on the tiles and glass door. I envisioned the good doctor sliding up my body and kissing me on the neck while he rubbed against me.

M
Y
FATHER
approached me while I was setting up the tables and chairs. He was already on his fourth beer, so I knew this wasn’t going to be good.

“What’s this I hear about an English class?”

“I’ve got it under control, Dad.”

“What are you doing about it?”

“I told you. I’ll pass it.”

“How?”

“I’ve got someone helping me. A tutor.”

“Who is he?”

“The doctor who cast my arm.”

“The one from the ER?”

“Yeah.”

“Why’s he helping you? Is he a Cal fan?”

“No, he’s just a nice guy.”

“He better not give you any of those bullshit drugs.”

“He’s not!”

“Listen up, Clark,” my father lectured, blasting his beer breath into my face. “You’ve already screwed up this season with your broken arm, and you don’t need to compound your mistake with a failing grade. There are scouts out there that are plenty interested in signing you up for the NFL next year, if you don’t fuck this up!”

“I’m aware, Dad.”

“Then see that you don’t forget it! I don’t want any more phone calls about this, understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

I watched him walk off, mingling with the other guests. Everyone I grew up with was at the party. Guests surrounded Robby and his very pregnant wife, Linda, while they opened his presents. I stood there wondering what it would have been like to be him; the oldest child with no special athletic skills, just a normal person. Dad never meddled in his life. None of my other brothers were subjected to this kind of scrutiny.

It was getting harder and harder to put up with him. When I lived at home, I didn’t realize how bad it was, but I’d been away now for three years, and the distance gave me a whole new perspective. Maybe Jody was right. Maybe my life would have been completely different if they’d let me go on medication or get some kind of counseling for the ADD. Then I wouldn’t have all these issues, and I wouldn’t have him breathing down my neck constantly. But then again, maybe I would have never made it as a football player.

“Dude, is he up your ass again?” my brother Jason muttered under his breath while he handed me a plastic cup brimming with Miller Lite.

“Oh yeah. It’s great coming home and listening to the old man bitch.”

“He was in one of his rages after your coach’s phone call.”

“I wish he’d stay out of my fucking life.”

“He would if you’d just do your work.”

“Come on, Jason, don’t you start.”

“You gotta pass this class or you’re fucked!”

“I know!”

“What’s the plan?”

“I’ve got someone helping me; it’ll be okay.”

“I hope so. You know how much pussy I’m going to get when they find out my baby bro is in the NFL?”

I laughed and shoved him away from me. “You fucker. This is all about snatch, isn’t it? You couldn’t care less about me.”

“Hey, I gotta get something out of this. Come on, little brother. Let’s go join the party.”

We moved to the table closest to the makeshift bar where my other two brothers and their friends were doing their best to finish off a keg of beer. They were all pretty shit-faced.

Michael, Jason’s twin, stood up holding a beer mug like a microphone and doing a piss-poor imitation of Jimmy Buffett. It was hilarious, especially since he couldn’t carry a tune to save his life. Zach was already shit-faced and feeling no pain. He was brother number two and the one who was most similar to our father. Not so much in appearance, but more in his mind-set. He was an armchair quarterback whose entire life revolved around sports. His biggest disappointment in life was that he didn’t have my talent.

The twins were only eleven months older than me, so we had a lot more in common. In fact, when we were little, people thought we were triplets, because we were so close in age and all three of us were blond and blue-eyed. Zach and Robby were brunets like our dad. They had always treated the three of us like dirt, ordering us around as if we were their personal slaves.

Zach looked up at me, his eyes starting to lose focus from the booze, and he slurred, “Look who it is, everyone. ‘Sparky’, Cal’s number-one hotshot.”

“Fuck off, Zach.” I gulped down my drink, pulled up a chair and settled in for the duration. This was going to be a long weekend.

I
GOT
back to Berkeley late Sunday night. The hangover wasn’t as bad as I’d anticipated since I’d been watching my booze intake. The last thing I wanted was to lose control in front of everyone, especially my father.

My answering machine was blinking, and when I checked the messages, I heard Nikki’s voice, wondering where I was. I’d forgotten to mention the party and the trip out to Folsom.

I punched in her numbers, and she picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, stranger! Where were you all weekend?”

“I went home for a party.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whined, in that little-girl voice she used whenever she pulled the guilt trip.

“I forgot,” I replied, reverting to my perennial excuse.

“What was the occasion?”

“Robby’s birthday.”

“Did you have fun?”

“It was okay. Everyone got hammered.”

“I would have liked to have gone with you.”

“Sorry. I didn’t think to ask.”

“That’s part of our problem, isn’t it?”

“What?” I knew where this conversation was headed.

“You never think of me, other than when you’re horny.”

“Nikki, stop!”

“Can I come over?”

“I’d rather you didn’t. I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Like what?”

“Don’t bug me, Nik.”

“Clark!”

Fuck, now the begging started, getting on my last nerve. I wanted to slam down the receiver, but I restrained myself, so I remained silent while she whimpered on the other line.

“Why are you always so mean?”

“What are you talking about? How am I mean?”

“You won’t let me into your life; I love you, Clark. Why are you like this?”

Here we go….

“I don’t want to discuss this over the phone.”

“Then let me come over.”

“No!” I was pretty adamant about not wanting to see her tonight. I knew that we’d end up in bed again, and I just wasn’t in the mood for her brand of loving. More importantly, I was tired of our situation. It wasn’t fair to treat her like my own personal fuckbuddy when she wanted to be my girlfriend and eventually my wife.

“Hey, why don’t we meet sometime in the middle of the week?” I suggested, hoping this would placate her. “We’ll go out and have some pizza and talk.”

“How about tomorrow?”

“I can’t. I’ve got tutoring.”

“For what?”

“My English class.”

“Who’s the tutor?”

“What does it matter?”

“I want to know.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Clark, wait! Let’s meet on Tuesday.”

“Okay, I’ll call you.”

I hung up, dreading the meeting already. It would be tough to tell her I didn’t love her the way she wanted. I worried that she’d lose it, but I couldn’t continue to encourage a relationship that was so one-sided. She deserved more, and so did I.

The thought of being alone tonight wasn’t appealing. I could have used a mind-blowing session of sex. It had been over two weeks, which wasn’t normal for me. Unfortunately, what I wanted, and what I could have, were two different things.

I stripped and hit the light switch, throwing myself on top of the bed, hoping exhaustion would take over. Unfortunately, the only thing that took over was my hand, moving toward my swollen dick. This was the second time this weekend that I was about to whack off with Jody on my mind.

I kept seeing his broad back in that tight T-shirt he was wearing when I ran into him at Andronico’s. He was surprisingly fit for someone who professed to be uninterested in sports. The muscles were clearly visible under his shirt, and I could imagine the gym time involved to achieve such results. His chest was probably just as amazing; I groaned, working my cock while imagining my mouth on his nipples, wondering if he had a light layer of fur or if he was hairless. I’d heard that queers were into waxing, and I hoped for some reason that he wasn’t.

I licked my way down his chest, past his stomach, and settled on his groin, which was covered with curly dark hair. I couldn’t stop the noises that were coming out of my throat as I pulled at myself, imagining Jody’s mouth and tongue wreaking havoc on me. It was over before I knew it, and I spurted into my hand, overflowing onto my stomach and parts of my chest. I lay there in the dark, imagining Jody’s tired body draped over me, and I closed my eyes and finally fell asleep.

T
HE
next evening I stood in front of Jody’s front door, worried and apprehensive, convinced that he would see right through me and know that I’d been jerking off with him on my mind.

The door opened, and Lil stood there in a white, ruffled apron over the orange shorts that just screamed
fag
. His yellow T-shirt had the words
I’m So Pretty
splashed across the center.

“Oh, my, aren’t you delectable!” Lil twirled around like a fucking ballerina and tiptoed back into the main part of the house screaming, “Jody! Hunkalicious has arrived!”