Horrid Henry and the Abominable Snowman (6 page)

Horrid Henry dashed to the bathroom and helped himself to a few handfuls of Mom’s makeup. What on earth did she need all this stuff for? thought Henry, piling it into a bag. About time someone cleared out this drawer. Then he wrote a few flyers.

Horrid Henry, Makeover Magician, was ready for business.

All he needed were some customers. Preferably rich, ugly customers. Now, where could he find some of those?

Henry strolled into the living room. Dad was reading on the sofa. Mom was working at the computer.

Horrid Henry looked at his aged, wrinkly, boring old parents. Bleeeccch!

Boy, could they be improved, thought Henry. How could he tactfully persuade these potential customers that they needed his help—fast?

“Mom,” said Henry, “you know Great-Aunt Greta?”

“Yes,” said Mom.

“Well, you’re starting to look just like her.”

“What?” said Mom.

“Yup,” said Horrid Henry, “old and ugly. Except—” he peered at her, “you have more wrinkles.”

“What?” squeaked Mom.

“And Dad looks like a gargoyle,” said Henry.

“Huh?” said Dad.

“Only scarier,” said Henry. “But don’t worry, I can help.”

“Oh really?” said Mom.

“Oh really?” said Dad.

“Yeah,” said Henry, “I’m doing makeovers.” He handed Mom and Dad a flyer.

“So, how many makeovers would you like?” said Horrid Henry. “Ten? Twenty? Maybe more ’cause you’re so old and need a lot of work to fix you.”

“Make over someone else,” said Mom, scowling.

“Make over someone else,” said Dad, scowling.

Boy, talk about ungrateful, thought Horrid Henry.

“Me first!”

“No me!”

Screams were coming from Margaret’s garden. Kung-Fu Kate and Singing Soraya were about to become her latest victims. Well, not if Henry could help it.

“Step right up, get your makeovers here!” shouted Henry. “Miracle Makeovers, from an expert. Only $2 for a brand-new you.”

“Leave my customers alone, copycat!” hissed Moody Margaret, holding out her hand to snatch Kate’s dollar.

Henry ignored her.

“You look boring, Kate,” said Henry. “Why don’t you let a real expert give you a makeover?”

“You?” said Kate.

“Two dollars and you’ll look completely different,” said Horrid Henry. “Guaranteed.”

“Margaret’s only charging $1,” said Kate.

“My special offer today is 75 cents for the first makeover,” said Henry quickly. “And free beauty advice,” he added.

Soraya looked up. Kate stood up from Margaret’s chair.

“Such as?” scowled Margaret. “Go on, tell us.”

Eeeek. What on earth was a beauty tip? If your face is dirty, wash it? Use a lice comb? Horrid Henry had no idea.

“Well, in your case, wear a bag over your head,” said Horrid Henry. “Or a bucket.”

Susan snickered.

“Ha ha, very funny,” snapped Margaret. “Come on, Kate. Don’t let him trick you. I’m the makeover expert.”

“I’m going to try Henry,” said Kate.

“Me too,” said Soraya.

Yippee! His first customers. Henry stuck out his tongue at Margaret.

Kung-Fu Kate and Singing Soraya climbed over the wall and sat down on the bench at the picnic table. Henry opened his makeover bag and got to work.

“No peeking,” said Henry. “I want you to be surprised.”

Henry smeared and coated, primped and colored, slopped and glopped. This was easy!

“I’m so beautiful—hoo hoo hoo,” hummed Soraya.

“Aren’t you going to do my hair?” said Kung-Fu Kate.

“Of course,” said Horrid Henry.

He emptied a bottle of glue on her head and scrunched it around.

“What did you put in?” said Kate.

“Secret hair potion,” said Henry.

“What about
me?
” said Soraya.

“No problem,” said Henry, shoveling in some red paint.

A bit of black here, a few blobs of red there, a smear of purple and…ta-da!

Henry stood back to admire his handiwork. Wow! Kung-Fu Kate looked completely different. So did Singing Soraya. Next time he’d charge $10. The moment people saw them everyone would want one of Henry’s marvelous makeovers.

“You look amazing,” said Horrid Henry. He had no idea he was such an awesome makeover artist. Customers would be lining up for his services. He’d need a bigger piggy bank.

“There, just like the Mummy, Frankenstein, and a vampire,” said Henry, handing Kate a mirror.

“
AAAARRRRGGGGGHHH!
”

screamed Kung-Fu Kate.

Soraya snatched the mirror.

“
AAAARRRRGGGGGHHH!
”

screamed Singing Soraya.

Horrid Henry stared at them. Honestly, there was no pleasing some people.

squealed Kung-Fu Kate.

“But I thought you wanted to look amazing,” said Henry.

“Amazingly good! Not scary!” wailed Kate.

“Has anyone seen my new lipsticks?” said Mom. “I could have sworn I put them in the—”

She caught sight of Soraya and Kate.

“
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!
”

screeched Mom. “Henry! How could you be so horrid? Go to your room.”

“But…but…” gasped Horrid Henry. It was so unfair. Was it his fault his stupid customers didn’t know when they looked great?

Henry stomped up the stairs. Then he sighed. Maybe he did need a little more makeover practice before he opened for business.

Now, where could he find someone to practice on?

“I got an A on my spelling test,” said Perfect Peter.

“I got a gold star for having the tidiest desk,” said Tidy Ted.

“And I got in the Good as Gold book again,” said Goody-Goody Gordon.

Henry burst into Peter’s bedroom.

“I’m doing makeovers,” said Horrid Henry. “Who wants to go first?”

“Ummm,” said Peter.

“Ummm,” said Ted.

“We’re going to Sam’s birthday party today,” said Gordon.

“Even better,” said Henry beaming. “I can make you look great for the party. Who’s first?”