Hot-Blooded (19 page)

With a deep breath, she braced herself for the next chapter in her mother’s turbulent life. Heart aching for Mahina, she opened to the last entry and read.

December 30

I got a letter from Justin today.

When I found the envelope in the mailbox, I almost erupted like Pele on Kīlauea. Too many feelings bottled inside—curiosity, hope, worry, fear. I had to let them out. So I ran to the beach, sat on the dunes, and read the note where I would be safe.
Ka po‘ina nalu
is the one place where I can just
be
without fear or judgment. The solace of the sea soothes me.

Now, hours later, having read Justin’s words about twenty times, I’m not sure what to think.

A folded note written in a faded scrawl nestled between the pages. Keahilani opened it with trembling fingers. She wasn’t sure she’d ever even seen her father’s handwriting before.

These aged words belonged to the man she’d yearned to know her entire life, but Keahilani’s kind though absent father wore an entirely different set of clothes in Mahina’s journals. Here, he sported petty, selfish, and juvenile styles with knock-off designer flaws that didn’t remotely match the guy she pegged him for.

Mahina had fabricated all sorts of excuses for their deadbeat dad: he was surfing the north beach of Nazaré off Portugal; he was traveling the world; he was off somewhere on business. Though she wasn’t privy to the whole truth, it was obvious to Keahilani that Justin was doing business, all right. Probably with every vagina on the island.

If her curiosity hadn’t compelled her, Keahilani would’ve burned the damn journal. As it was, she had to find out what other crocks of shit her father had dumped on her mother and hidden under the guise of innocence with his silver tongue.

Dear Mahina,

I’m sure you’re pretty pissed at me for ditching you on the beach. I wanted to let you know why I did it. If you’re still mad after I’ve had my say, that’s cool. I understand. But hear me out before you decide never to speak to me again.

My dad took a contract in Australia for the next five years, and that’s where we’re heading. Some deal he worked out with one of the companies he does business with. If he can finish the job early, we’ll come back, but if not, it may be a while before I’ll see you again.

I didn’t tell you much about my family for a reason. My parents are old-fashioned and don’t believe in mixing races. Dad does business with some big companies, and he’s all about appearances. If the people he works for knew his son was seeing a Hawaiian girl, they’d fire him in a heartbeat.

The racist crap is bullshit. But it doesn’t change how others see you and me. I’m not sure what your family thinks about mixing with white people, but my guess is they feel the same as mine do. Like stays with like. Opposites do not attract. Don’t mingle with anyone who doesn’t look like you, or risk rejection.

Or maybe worse.

I love you, Mahina. But I need Dad’s cash until I get on my own two feet. He’s the only reason I can surf the world’s biggest waves. If he finds out about us, he’ll cut me off. That’s how his generation reacts. It’s stupid but true.

I told you about my dreams of becoming a world-class surfer. Since you surf too, you get the whole meaning of the ride, the spiritual nature of it. You understand this desire—no, this driving
need
I have to master the waves. It’s that intense oneness with nature, the sense of
completion
it provides.

If the waves decide to cover me, I’ll welcome them. I belong to them as much as they belong to me. I’m
meant
to ride the sea. I can’t put into words how strongly I feel about it, but somehow, I know you get it.

Anyway, you probably think I’m a sucker who wussed out for not meeting you on the beach, and maybe I am, but it wasn’t because of our differences. I’m a strong person. I stand up for what’s right. You’ve seen me defend Hawaiians against asshole
haoles
on the beach. I took shit from your own brother and still came back for you. You know I’m on your side and will fight for your rights to the ocean. Oahu is your island. Your surf. Your home.

So, consider my failure to appear in your sandy Hawaiian court to whisk you away on a grand surfboard a strategic move rather than a snub. Give me a few years to master the surf and gather some money, and I’m all yours.

You’re my goddess-queen. Like Pele. Strong, beautiful, and full of fire. Just as I need the surf, I need your fire. I thrive on it. Yin and yang and all that jazz. That’s why I’m coming back for you, Mahina. As soon as I get out from under my dad’s thumb, I’ll come back to Oahu and marry you.

Australia has big waves like the North Shore on Oahu. I’ll think of you every time I roll into a
barrel
. When I get home in a few years, I’ll be an expert. We can surf the waves together—maybe even win some money in the competitions. I want to make it as a surfer. I’m talented enough to beat these other guys. When I show them who’s boss, they’ll have no choice but to respect me.

I’m rambling. I should wrap this up. Before I go, know this. I love everything about you, Mahina. From your pretty black hair to your dark eyes down to the steady feet that command a board better than any other chick I’ve ever seen.

And you’re even more beautiful on the inside. Don’t ever stop believing in yourself, and never give in to injustice. To me, you’re the picture of freedom. One day, I’ll put a ring on your finger and make you all mine if you’ll let me.

I’m sorry for ending things so suddenly. I never meant to hurt you. I love you too much to ever do that. If you’ll have me when I come back, I’ll make it up to you. If it takes me the rest of my life, I swear to God, I’ll do right by you.

I don’t have an address yet, but as soon as we get settled, I’ll write to you again. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll know you want nothing more to do with me. That would kill me, but I’ll respect your wishes.

All my love,

Justin

Pensive, Keahilani refolded the paper and carefully tucked it between the last page and the back cover of the journal. Then she resumed Mahina’s entry.

Justin’s letter brought tears to my eyes. I dug trenches into the sand with my pacing. When it got dark, I went home and hid in my room until I pulled myself together. If
Makuahine
finds out Justin’s still in contact, she’ll never let me out of the house again. She already suspects he did something to upset me since I’ve hardly eaten in the days since he left. She watches me every time someone mentions the haoles on the beach. Makuahine is very sensitive to these things. She’s a
kahuna kilokilo
. She knows everything.

Justin keeps playing this game. I don’t know whether to believe him or not. How can you allow your head to defy your heart when love is on the line? I’ve never been in love before now. The emotions are so intense, I fear I might not survive. I think about Justin day and night, and the longer the space between us stretches, the harder it is to wake up in the morning knowing he’ll never be back.

But now, there’s hope. Maybe he
will
come back. Not right away, but in a few years. Can I put my heart at risk for that long? Should I save myself for him? Or should I try to forget him and move on?

Justin was my first haole friend, my first real crush, and my first lover. He’s stuck inside me, regardless of the distance between us.

Can I wait for him?

I can. And I will. I can do anything for Justin.

Oh, Mahina. You’re such a stupid girl. Love blinds you as you walk straight into the fire. You feel the pain, yet your stubborn heart is strong enough to ignore it. Your passion outweighs better judgment.

Stupid, stupid girl.

God, yes. Stupid, stupid Mahina.

Keahilani slapped the covers closed and pitched the journal on to the bedside table. She knew the rest of the story, though not as intimately as the diary told it. Justin came back and wooed Mahina. He sucked her into his web of lies again. She followed him to Maui where he knocked her up with a set of twins and promptly disappeared for a couple years until the pussy ran out elsewhere.

He returned with a bunch of oh-poor-me lines. More fucking ensued. Bam! Manō was born. Surprise, surprise, Daddy disappears again. Fast-forward six more years, and shortly after Justin’s next reappearance, Bane, “the long-awaited child,” bounced onto the scene.

What a player her dad had been. How could Mahina have not seen through his lies? He wanted her for sex. That was it. And she gave it to him without question.

This was why it was good to remain in control. As strong as Mahina was on the outside, she was equally as weak on the inside. Keahilani had erected bulletproof walls around her heart the day her mother left them, and she refused to let anyone get inside ever again. The only people who mattered—her brothers—were already stuck in there, safe and sound, and she kept them locked up tight.

No man—especially not a user haole like her dick of a father—would ever be allowed access. It was too dangerous. And truth be told, Keahilani feared the inside of her heart might have been even softer than her mother’s.

All the more reason to remain hard on the outside. A stray thought tripped over Blake’s face, and she shook it out of her head. No more room for love inside her. She was already full up.

Chapter Eighteen

Tuesday, September 30

“Manō, I need a favor for tomorrow,” Kea said over her shoulder as she made her way from the storeroom on to the floor at Mahina Surf and Dive. She slammed on the brakes the moment she looked up and met Blake’s gaze. A quiver rippled her cheek.

“Yeah?” The big scary Hawaiian dude who’d left the shop on the motorcycle the other day appeared behind her. Same bone structure as Kea’s, same shape of the eyes, same skin tone.

Siblings.

Well, shit.

Blake stepped forward and grinned. “How’s it going, Kea?”

Her feet seemed glued to the floor. Glancing at Manō, she said, “Never mind. I’ll take care of it. Excuse me for a minute?”

Manō locked his lifeless, black eyes on Blake and barely curled his lip. The open-mouthed shark grinning from the guy’s neck gave the gesture a little extra kick that accomplished what he must’ve set out to do: intimidate the living fuck out of Blake. He straightened as he passed Blake and not-at-all-accidentally bumped his shoulder. Hard.

Kea lowered her head and smiled as Blake rubbed the top of his arm. He jerked a thumb toward Manō as he returned to the storeroom. “Nice guy. Boyfriend?”

“Brother. What do you want?”

Fear confirmed. Damn it. “You didn’t show up for surfing lessons the last two days. I was worried about you.” He poked out his chest and holstered his hands in his hip pockets.

She crossed her arms over her distractingly too-small bikini top and laughed that harsh laugh. The one that bragged,
I know all the shit, and you’re clueless.
“We’re so done. Get the hell out of here, Blake. You and your boss can fuck off.”

Time to put his scamming skills to good use and lay it on thick. “You don’t want to do business, so I’m going home tomorrow. Thought we could sneak in a round of drinks, maybe some karaoke at the local bar before I head out. You game?”

She narrowed her eyes to lasers and gunned the switch. The ensuing cut was painful. “I’m not interested in karaoke or drinks or anything else. And I don’t appreciate you coming to my place of business and starting shit with me. I have customers.”

He looked around at the empty store. “There’s no one here.”

“Well, there could be. Now, get lost. I have stuff to do.”

“Okay, okay.” He leaned closer. “Before you kick me to the curb, I gotta ask.” He glanced to the storeroom. Manō was nowhere in sight. “Any chance you could hook me up with some Pāhoehoe tonight? It’s purely a guilty pleasure. From what I hear, it’s the best of the best, and since I won’t be getting my hands on it any other way …”

She scowled.

“It’s my last night on Maui. Cut a guy some slack. I’ve had a shitty week, what with you snubbing me and all. I need a little relief, and I exhausted my stash waiting in vain for you to show up the last two days.” He swept a finger under her chin.

She slapped his hand down. “There are cameras everywhere, and my brother’s pretty … protective.”

He followed her line of sight to the black box with the blaring red light mounted near the ceiling. “Okay, fine. You don’t want to sell me your weed, I understand. But what about one more ride at the hotel? For old time’s sake. I swear I’ll leave you alone after that.” He crossed himself.

She stared at him, her expression unreadable.

He pressed his hands together in prayer. “Please, Kea? A quick goodbye fuck. Whatever you want, I’m game.” He lifted a brow and grinned.

She stared at the dimple he knew had popped up on his cheek, then looked away. “Not interested.”

Liar. “Oh, come on, babe,” he whined. “I need one more taste of that sweet Hawaiian honey pot.”

“You’re a pig.”

“And you can’t get enough of this bacon.” He squeezed his bulge.