Hot Zone (29 page)

Chapter 17: I See Stars

At least I had the dog. I told myself this often, especially on the way home from St. Paul. The dog, which continuously sniffed things up into her nose and then sneezed them out, was dubbed Hoover during the ride. I didn’t have much to say to anyone but her. Luis tried to draw me out a couple of times, but it wasn’t until we were closer to home and most of my anger had cooled that I would talk to him normally. He told me he could see I was upset at Gabriel, but he couldn’t understand why. That ended the conversation right there. I wasn’t getting Luis on my side that was for sure.

It was eleven PM when I walked in the door, trying to be quiet in case everyone was sleeping. Meri jumped up immediately and came to hug me. “We missed you!” she said. She stepped back and looked at Luis. “Oh, hi Luis.” She gave me a quizzical look.

“He’s cool,” I said. “And I don’t have to worry about someone accidentally touching me or anyone giving me hugs.” I tried to sound positive about this, but Phil and Meri had known me for too long not to see that I’d been very upset.

Phil took my hand and we went out to the screened-in part of the porch. It was cool, but there was a radiant heater out here and Meri cranked it on high.

Phil gave me a sweet look. “You are so angry and upset! It’s all over you. What happened?”

I slanted Luis a glance, and then decided that I might as well not try to hide it from him. “Oh, well, it’s one of those ‘men are pigs’ situations,” I said wanly.

Meri shook her head. “Before you start, let me tell you my news! Then I’m completely ready to man-bash the whole night through. Okay, are you ready? Cal called!”

“What?” I said, shocked.

“Yes! He called about two hours ago. Madde—he’s coming! Here! Now! He’s a ways away—San Diego, so it will take some time to get here, but he said he’s crossing the quarantine line and throwing his lot in with ours.” Meri was hugging herself with happiness.

I squealed as she expected and jumped up to give her another bone-crunching hug. “I’m so happy for you! And I officially declare Cal not
to be a pig.”

Phil chuckled.

I noticed Tucker wasn’t around. Poor Tucker. But he’d known the score all along. I just wish one person’s happiness didn’t have to happen at the expense of another’s. It was obvious he’d cared for her ever since he’d joined us. I wanted to ask where he was but didn’t want to point out the obvious. Meri danced off and returned with a couple bags of chips including those little hull-less popcorn puffs that I loved. “Hey! Where have you been hiding these?” Bags of chips were long gone in town.

Meri just grinned at me and pretended to lock her lips and throw away the key. “We’re celebrating!” Then she remembered I wasn’t probably celebrating whatever had happened to me. “Or maybe we’re eating our sorrows away.” She turned to Luis. “Hey, you probably want to go say hi to your family or friends—you can go if you want. Nick is here at the house, so he’d come a-running if we yelled for help.”

Luis looked at me and then nodded. “Don’t you dare leave this house without telling me.”

I saluted. “Yes, sir!”

Luis snorted and headed out towards the front door and Gabriel’s loaner car.

Phil watched him go. Meri, too excited to sit still, jumped up to use the restroom. I used the time to ask Phil in a low voice, “Where’s Tucker?”

Phil shrugged. “He took off after Meri got the call. He said he was going to see Karen, but his colors said he was lying.”

I nodded and wondered when her mentioning “colors” had ceased to bother me. “Any idea where he might be? I’d like him to hear this too. Lord knows I only want to tell it once. And he’ll get a kick out of how stupid I am.”

Phil frowned. “He just took off outside. No idea.”

I opened the door and yelled, “Tucker, get your sorry ass in here and witness my shame!” Phil grinned at me, looking a little like her old self. I looked around me. “Say, do you think anyone in the house is still asleep what with me yelling and all?”

She shrugged. “People are used to others coming and going, but the chance to witness your shame might just draw them out.”

“Phil, I am such a dope. Please help me laugh at myself and not cry like a girl.”

Phil was looking at the screen door. “Uh, there’s a dog at the door.”

“Oh, crap!” I opened the door, and Hoover trotted in. “Meet my dog, Hoover. I got her in the cities, and when we got back she wanted to sniff around, so I let her and then in all the excitement I forgot about her.”

Phil said, “Okay, hello Hoover.” She then looked closer at the dog. “Um, there’s something strange about your dog.”

I looked at the dog. She looked the same to me. “What?”

“She has colors.”

“So?”

“Animals don’t have colors.”

I scratched behind her ears. “See? I knew you were a special canine.”

Hoover thumped her tail and turned to look at the door, a soft growl bubbling up her throat. Soon I heard someone coming up through the dead grass. “Tucker?” I called.

“Yeah.” He opened the door and came in. “You wanted me?”

I went over to him and hugged him tightly. After a brief moment of surprise, he gently hugged me back. “You are hereby invited to witness my stupidity in the name of men. If you promise not to side with the man, that is.”

He said, “Oh, I’m just one of the girls.” And gave me a look that told me he appreciated the hug. I took his hand and tugged him over to the lounge chair, pushing him to sit down. I sat down on the end, shoving his legs over. Meri came back in, and I thought I felt him stiffen slightly. Well, I knew how he felt.

Meri sat down and popped a sour cream and onion chip in her mouth. “You may start the ranting.”

“Okay, well, you know that I am a little—um, drawn to Gabriel, right? I have never known whether this is just like everyone is, or whether I actually was attracted to him.” I flapped my hand. “Doesn’t matter. Well, he was really nice to us with Jacob, and then he took me back to Hill house.”

Meri grinned. “Should I say wooooo?” She made it sound like I’d done the nasty. I shook my head.

“Nope.”

Phil joined in. “Come on, did he kiss you?”

“Do I have to listen to this?” complained Tucker.

“Just hold on, the part where I am a dope is coming,” I assured him.

“Yeah, well, it had better be good,” he said grumpily.

“So, we’ll skip over the talking and the kiss that did occur.” I glanced at Tucker. “Sorry, but it’s instrumental to the story.”

He flicked his hand at me.

“So he as much as told me he was jealous and that’s why he did that ridiculous no-touch thing.”

Meri frowned. “That seems a bit high-handed.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” I said. “So then the next day he offers me a freaking job working for him. Apparently once he rolls people, you know, makes them love him, they aren’t so good at decisions. So, since I’m immune, sort of, he thought I could help. I said I would.”

“Yeah,” Tucker said a little sourly. “We saw you on TV.”

“Great.” I rolled my eyes. “Did I look stunned? He didn’t tell me half the stuff he told the reporters. So anyway, he had me go with him the next day to Iowa to see that woman. And things were going well, we were talking, and I thought I might be interested in him as more than just a despot.”

Meri giggled.

“I tried several times to get him to tell the guards to quit the no-touch thing, and he always distracted me or just said no.”

Phil shook her head. “What a cave man.”

“I know, right? But you know how I apparently love to be treated like crap. I went back to his office to talk to him about something, I don’t even remember what, now, and his assistant told me casually that he slept with her last night, and she mentioned that he sometimes has more than one of them—there are three!”

Meri and Phil knew their parts. They made loud and insulting comments about Gabriel. I listened, relatively pleased.

Finally Meri said, “So? Did you kick him in the bollocks?”

Tucker winced. I turned to grin at him. He wasn’t looking so grumpy now. “No, I started to leave, but then I turned back to give him a piece of my mind.” I patted Hoover’s head and she put her head on my knee. “And Hoover, my guardian dog, came along and kept him from getting anywhere near me. She was so brave and fierce!”

Phil eyed the dog a little warily. Meri patted Hoover and she panted in what looked like a doggy smile.

“I went in and confronted him, and he admitted it. He said . . . oh you won’t believe this … he said he needed outlets if he was going to be around me.”

Meri’s jaw dropped. “Outlets?”

“Yes, that’s the word he used,” I confirmed.

“Ugh. He is a pig.” Meri said, looking disgusted.

“And he seemed to think I should be okay with that. I told him he had to tell the guards that I could and would touch anyone I pleased!”

Phil laughed. “Good for you.”

Tucker said in a low voice. “Yeah, good for you.”

I turned to look at him. “You were right, I was totally falling for him. But I have seen the light, hallelujah. You’re probably waiting to say, ‘I told you so.’”

“No. Not at all. But … I’m a little surprised that …”

He was interrupted as Hoover went to the door and whined. I was getting a little teary, and decided I could use a little nighttime walk. And it felt good to go out without a guard. I hoped it got back to Gabriel and pissed him off. I jumped up. “I’m going out with her. I’ll be right back.”

Tucker got up as well. “If you don’t mind I’ll come too. I wanted to fill you in on the meeting.”

Yeah, and I bet he didn’t want to be in the room with Meri and her glowing happiness right now. To be honest it was uncomfortable for me too. I wished I was so sure about what and who I wanted. “Okay, sure,” I said.

We walked out of the porch and down the hill as Hoover ran far ahead. I had pulled on a hooded sweatshirt, but I was still chilly. Tucker had on a jacket, his hands shoved in the pockets. I put my hand on his arm. “Neither of us had a very good day,” I said.

“Yours was worse,” he admitted. “I suppose I knew this was coming.”

“Maybe. Then again, I haven’t known Gabriel that long. I’m sure I’ll bounce back.” My voice sounded as disbelieving as Tucker’s as he looked at me.

“Right. Bounce right back.”

“Okay, I may roll for awhile.” And unaccountably, I started to cry.

Tucker stopped and I waved him away. “I’m fine. I just … it’s so stupid!”

“What is?” he asked.

“That I kept trying to believe that he hadn’t done it—all the way until he admitted it. And then, I was arguing with him over the no-touch thing, and part of me was glad he wasn’t giving in, like that meant he still cared about me. Then when he did give in, it hurt again! I was even upset in the car because he didn’t try to call! I am so messed up.” I said, sobbing.

He put his hand on my arm again, and I swatted him away. He patiently but inexorably pushed away my hands and pulled me into a hug. I stumbled, and the two of us ended up half-falling, half-sitting on the grass on the hill. I gave up and let him comfort me. I cried a long time. Tucker never said anything about the cold, the fact that it was near one in the morning, or that he hadn’t trusted Gabriel from the beginning.

I finally sighed and pushed myself away from him to fall on my back on the mix of dead and new grass on the hill. My house was visible from here, but only the top of the roof. “You know, I used to come here with Dad on clear nights. He taught me the constellations. He taught me just about everything of value that I know, in fact.” Another tear washed down my face and into my ear. “He’d be so disappointed in me now.”

“No,” Tucker said. “Don’t even say that.” He lay down too, next to me but not touching me. “You’ve done amazing things.”

“I made a fool of myself tonight. How could I have, even for minute, thought that maybe things with him were salvageable? Outlets!” I groaned.

Tucker said softly, “Oh, don’t be too hard on him. In a way, I understand what he meant.”

I sat up, staring at him. “Oh you have
to be kidding.”

He pushed at my shoulder with a smile. “Jeez, don’t get your big-girl panties in a bunch. I’m just saying I have experienced the joy and occasional agony of being constantly around an attractive female who, you know, didn’t think of me that way.”

I knew he must mean Meri. Still, he hadn’t taken on outlets. Or if he had, he’d been discrete about it. No, he was nothing like Gabriel. I stuck out my tongue and blew a raspberry, flopping back in the grass.

He got back up to lean on his arm and look down at me, a serious look on his face. “Please don’t put yourself down. You’ve brought us back together here in Catfish. You have made decisions and guided people. You’ve helped so many that I wouldn’t know where to start to count them.” His voice became softer. “And if nothing else, you took me in and have treated me like family.”

“Sure, after you rescued my ass,” I said, smiling.

“Well, of course,” he agreed gravely.

I was thinking about how Tucker used to be, and the changes that had occurred even since he’d come to live with us. “You remember when you saved me from Eddy?”

He chuckled. “Sure, but you did fine saving yourself. I didn’t do that much.”

I let that go, although I knew he was being modest. That was so like him. “Do you remember the things you said?”

He looked at me and shrugged. “I guess. Why?”

“You used to say words like ‘ain’t’ and swear a lot more. You now sound like you’ve not only attended college but possibly grad school.”

He was watching me with a small smile. “I think the way I spoke was more habit than anything else. Lately I’ve been around a better class of people. And the swearing, well, I …” He let his voice die without finishing.

I could see he was embarrassed. Now I really wanted to know. “Tell me,” I commanded.

He sighed, laying down and looking back at the sky. “Meri told me it wasn’t really appropriate. And that you didn’t like it.” He turned his head, met my eyes and said, “She told me a lot of things. You could say she taught me some manners that I didn’t really know at the time. We had a lot of time to talk, and a lot of nervous energy while you and Phil were sick.”