House Arrest (15 page)

WEEK 30

I hate it when you drive the van, James,
the Juvenile Probation van
with that logo on the side.
Do you really have to drive the van?
What happened to your dumb red car?
That dumb red car looks so much better in
the driveway
than the awful van
shouting to the neighbors
HEY JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT
TIMOTHY IS A SCREWUP.

Dear Mrs. B,
I'm sorry I threw your plant.
I'm sorry it crashed against the wall
making that loud KAPOW sound
that, for just a millisecond,
settled my bones,
a big deep satisfying settling
that said
yes
that is exactly the noise I need to hear
right at this moment,
that KAPOW really hits the spot
so to speak.
I'm sorry if it scared you
or bothered you
or made you think less of me
as a human being.
I will do better.

After all of this,
all of the Carla Ramirez stuff,
Mom can't still be thinking about doing it.
I know she can't be
even with all the paperwork coming in the mail
and the people calling
and Mary saying she'll need a new case
once Levi
goes away
.
I can't believe she's going to do it.
I won't believe she's going to do it.
Levi is the real heart of the family
and Mom is not like Dad,
she could never leave the heart of the family behind.
Never.
Never.

Don't be naughty, you little brat.
That's what Mary said.
I totally heard it
under her breath
when Levi was smiling and playing his favorite game:
Drop the Bottle and Make Mary Crazy.
She called him a brat.
Luckily he doesn't know what that is.
But I do.
I sure do.

She's so mean to him, Mom.
Don't exaggerate.
Exaggerating would be to say she grows fangs
and talons and
flies around the room
shooting fire
from her cow eyes.
That's exaggerating.
Timothy.
She's mean to him. I don't like her.
OK. Well. We have no one else.
I know.
So what do you want me to do?
I don't know. Pay closer attention.
Timothy.
I'm sorry.
She's not mean to him.
She is.
Tell you what.
If I see her being mean to him, I'll fire her.
On the spot.
OK?
OK.
Good night, T-man.
Don't call me T-man.

WEEK
3
1

How would I know?
Am I a plant specialist?
Can I just yell PLANT POWERS ACTIVATE
and know all of the plant things?
James.
Come on.
The one we decided on is almost just right, though.
It is smallish,
the leaves are wrinkly,
and even though they are plain green
instead of purple and green,
at least the flowers are purple.
I am getting the sense that Mrs. B
really likes purple.
Based on her clothes
and her smell.
Is it weird that I think she smells
well
a little purple?
Never mind.
Just . . . thanks for taking me today
to find this replacement plant
that is partially purple
kind of like Mrs. B is
herself.

That James.
This is what Mrs. B said.
Not,
W
ell, thank-you, Timothy
!
Or,
You're so sweet, Timothy
!
That James.
And then she got this look on her face
like she was going to happy-cry
which made me feel sweaty.
That James.
He's a keeper, huh?
And I was like,
Um, I have no choice?
The court says I have to keep him.
Like James is a watchdog.
A plant-buying,
secret dropper-offer of food,
sometimes red-car-driving,
most times grouchy-faced,
shoe-providing
guard dog.
Mrs. B loved the plant.
And I think she might love you, James
even though you have not met
in actual real life.
She put the plant right next to the computer
and smiled so big
I could count her teeth
even the silver one way, way in back.

I catch myself sometimes
wondering how many wallets
this or that equals.
How many people
not paying attention
could instead be paying
for a lot of other things.

Oh, hey, Carla Ramirez!
Those were my exact words
when I opened the door to . . .
Surprise!
Another visit!
From our favorite flying squirrel!
Sigh.
Levi had rolled under the TV stand,
totally twisted up in his tubes and wires,
like a squirming, smiling knot of TV cords.
I dragged him out,
dusted him off,
gave him a quick suction.
Carla Ramirez kept her distance,
not too close to the explosive baby,
not too close to the Joker-smiling big brother.
She found Mom in the kitchen,
washing bottles.
And Mary on the back porch,
having a lunch break
in the sun
with, of course, zero cares in the world.

First Carla Ramirez rule:
Timothy can never be with Levi unsupervised.
Second Carla Ramirez rule:
Timothy can never be home with just Levi and Mary.
Third Carla Ramirez rule:
That hot water situation has to be on a higher shelf.
She said she'd close the investigation,
that obviously Mom is working hard,
and I am working hard,
and Levi is working hard,
and there is no medical neglect.
I saw Mary standing in the doorway
listening in.
I saw her face twist in the shadows
like a supervillain
her look of disapproval,
her head-shakingness over the whole thing.
Fourth Carla Ramirez rule:
Find a better daytime nurse for Levi.
(That's not really a Carla Ramirez rule.
But it should be.)

We already knew it was against the rules,
technically,
for me to be at home with Mary and Levi
without Mom.
It's always been against the rules,
but sometimes you have to be bendy
to make things work.
Marisol was good at rule bendiness.
Marisol was good at so many things.
But now Carla Ramirez,
Flying Squirrel Social Worker Superstar,
means business.
So I'm sitting here,
on this hard and dirty concrete
listening to José's dad
grunt and growl and curse
while José looks helplessly
at a spool of something
hanging out of the turtle car's
wide-open trunk mouth.
I wonder what Mary and Levi are doing.