How He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy) (7 page)

All too soon, we both felt the jarring of the elevator as it slowed to a stop at our destination. He let go of me and moved back to the other side of the elevator, smiling a devilish smile at me as the elevator stopped and the doors began to open.

I stood there, shaking, still unsure whether or not my legs would actually support me if I tried to move them, and he looked the picture of composure. He held his hand out, indicating for me to get off of the elevator first. “Julianne, I would like to discuss some projects at lunch. Are you free today?” he asked.

“Yes, that would be wonderful,” I somehow spat out.

I had an awful time trying to concentrate on work. I squirmed at my desk, knowing that he was just down the hall from me. I wanted to kiss him again. I was majorly turned on and needed to do something about that. Soon. All I could think about was our impending lunch date, and I kept wondering if there was some way we could go somewhere to alleviate the building pressure I was feeling down low.

A little before noon, Dana came into my
cubicle. “What are you doing for lunch?” she asked in that obnoxious voice of hers.

“Nick and I have some work to do over lunch,” I replied, glad that I didn’t have to invent some excuse as to why I couldn’t invite her.

“Okay, maybe tomorrow,” she said, walking away.

Not more than five minutes later, Nick showed up at my cube. “Lunch in ten minutes?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Can’t wait,” he whispered, winking at me. I grinned.

He left and I wrapped up some work, checked myself in my compact, fluffed my hair and put on some lipstick, and I was ready.

I walked out to the elevator and there he was, waiting for me. The doors opened and we were about to be the only ones on the elevator. I glanced up at him and met his eyes when I found him gazing down at me. His eyes had that lustful look in them again, and I couldn’t wait for the doors to shut so he would kiss me again. And just as the doors started to close, we heard someone shout, “Wait! Hold the elevator!”

Dana!
I knew that voice anywhere. My fantasy of kissing like we had earlier was shattered as she stepped onto the elevator and kissed Nick’s cheek. He rolled his eyes.

“Julianne, I thought you had
work to do at lunch. Where’s your iPad?” she interrogated.

Nick jumped in. “I am helping her on a project. We are discussing the specifics over lunch.”

“Oh,” her presence on the elevator irritated me all over again.

I tried to change the subject. “Where are you going for lunch, Dana?”

“I’m picking up beef sandwiches for my department,” she whined in that voice.

The elevator stopped on the eleventh floor and then the sixth to pick up additional passengers, and finally the doors opened on the first floor. We all walked out and Dana went her separate way.

“Alone at last,” Nick murmured. “There is a reason that I wanted to take you to lunch, besides the fact that you are looking beautiful today and I just want to stare at you for an hour.”

Damn if my knees didn’t start shaking all over again. “And what is that reason?” I asked.

“Wait until we get there. I‘ll explain.”

After we received our food from the waitress, Nick spoke. “Julianne, I really like you. I’d like to take you on a real date.”

“I’d like that,” I smiled. His expression remained serious.

“I feel like we’re at the start of something that has great potential. The thing is,” he paused and glanced at me nervously. “We, uh… we need to be quiet about it if we’re going to start dating.”

It didn’t slide past me that he said that we were starting something, but I got stuck on the part about keeping it a secret. “Why the secret?”

He looked uncomfortable.
“Mainly because I am your boss. I signed a policy when I first started at McMillan that basically says that dating anyone on my team or within my department is grounds for termination. If our relationship becomes something serious, we can look at our options. But for now, we can’t tell anyone at work.”

“That’s a dumb policy.”

“Agreed; but, regardless, if anyone finds out, we could both lose our jobs.”

“What about Dana? You took her to the Christmas party.”

“She’s in a different department.”

I nodded. “True. I get it.” Truthfully it made me sad that we wouldn’t be able to tell anyone, but at the same time, if it meant that we were going to try anyway, I was going
to take what I could get. I stared down at my food.

“Listen, Julianne,” he said. He paused, waiting for me to look up into his eyes. “I like you and I want to see where this goes with us. We just need to be quiet about it. Can we talk more about this tonight? Maybe at my place?” he asked.

“Sure,” I replied, taking a bite of my turkey sandwich and feeling a flutter in my stomach at the thought of being alone with him at his place.

After Nick picked up the tab for our lunch, we headed back to the office. I forced myself to focus on the market analysis; I only had two more days before it was due to Davidson, and I still had a ton of work to do on it.

We agreed that I would arrive at his house around 7:00. He texted me directions, and it seemed pretty easy to get to his place, even though it was about a half an hour from my apartment.

In the spirit of supporting our budding relationship and maintaining secrecy, I devised a list of “safe” things we could do where no one would see us. I called Travis with my ideas on my way home from work. “Here’s what I have so far: rent movies, make dinner for each other, go to that little bistro you discovered in Gold Canyon, and go see a movie at the cinemas in Mesa. That’s all I’ve got.”

“What about a trip to your parents’ cabin in Payson?” he asked, referring to my parents’ second home up in the woods.

“Good one! Not right away, though. I don’t want to scare him off.”

“Trust me, it won’t scare him. I think it would be a great opportunity to get to know him.”

“In the most carnal way,” I said wickedly. “Plus, it’s an hour and a half car ride, so plenty of time to talk.”

After we finished the list, it was time for me to get ready. I chose a black skirt and fitted, low cut, hot pink tank and a black jacket.

I just got in my car when my phone rang. The screen read: “Nicholas Matthews.”

“Hey,” I answered. “I’m on my way.”

“You didn’t eat yet, did you?” he asked.

“Actually, no.”

“Great. Did you just leave?”

“Yes.”

“See you soon, Julianne,” he murmured, his sexy voice sending shivers down my spine.

I kept busy on the drive to his house by singing love songs along with the radio. I had never seen his house, and when I pulled up I had to double-check the address. His house was enormous. It looked spacious enough for a family of fifteen. It must have been five thousand square feet or more. Pillars lined the front of the fairly new, tan colored Santa Fe style house. Windows with green shutters were placed evenly across the front of the two-story house with a giant matching green front door. I put my car in park in front of the four-car garage. How did a single guy afford a place like this? I didn’t know exactly how much he made, but I knew Josie made around $75,000, so I assumed he was somewhere in that ballpark. That certainly couldn’t be a big enough paycheck for a house this nice.

I walked up to the door and rang the bell. Nick appeared a few seconds later, looking downright mouthwatering in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. I had never seen him dressed so casually, and the t-shirt accentuated the muscles rippling underneath it while the jeans hugged his hips and his perfect behind. My knees started to shake just looking at him. I couldn’t wait for the opportunity to actually touch him. “Hey. You look fantastic,” he said, his eyes lazily eying me up and down.

“Thank you,” I said breathlessly. “So do you,” I stared at him, practically panting.

“Come on in,” he said, opening the door. He closed it behind me and pulled me close to him. He smelled like a mix of aftershave and toothpaste. The wonderful aroma made me dizzy with lust. He brushed his lips on mine and held me for a moment.

“Welcome to my house,” he spoke softly.

“It is enormous! What do you need all of this space for?” I inquired.

“Well, I bought the house awhile ago with some funds that I came into. I have two roommates – my brother Josh and our friend Eric are both staying with me. They both are out of town this week, so I’ve got the place to myself.”

“Still, this place is huge for just three guys!” I exclaimed.

“We have people over all the time – lots of guest rooms. Come in. I have a surprise for you,” he said.

He led me into his vast kitchen. Counters lined the walls with an island in the middle and a beautiful stainless steel double oven. French doors opened onto a beautiful patio, and I could see a
huge swimming pool from where I stood. His backyard was truly an oasis, and beyond the backyard were gorgeous mountain views. I was totally impressed.

The kitchen smelled wonderful. “I made you dinner,” he smiled almost shyly.

“That’s so sweet! What are we having?” I asked.

“Spaghetti and meatballs.
I hope it tastes alright.” His self-deprecation was adorable.

The kitchen table had candlesticks on it and a single red rose in a vase of water. Next to the rose sat an envelope marked “JULIANNE.” I recognized his handwriting. I looked at it and then at Nick, who was smiling. “Go ahead,” he motioned toward the envelope.

The card had a picture of a little boy and girl holding hands. I opened it and found Nick’s neat handwriting.

Julianne,

I don’t know what to call us, or if there even is an “us” yet. All I               know is that I really like you. I like holding you in my arms. I               like kissing you. I like elevator rides with you. I like looking at               your beautiful smile and your bright eyes and listening to you               laugh. I look forward to what is next for us.

Yours, Nick

I glanced up at him to find him watching me with anxiety on his face. “That is one of the sweetest, most romantic things that anyone has ever done for me,” I said, walking over to him, and taking him in a hug. “Thank you,” I said, pressing my lips against his.

It was that exact moment that something inside of me tingled with excitement. I realized that I felt totally, completely comfortable with this person. We had only been “more than coworkers” for 24 hours, yet I felt like we had been together for 24 years. I wasn’t nervous or anxious like I usually was at the beginning of relationships. I felt sure of myself, confident, and most of all, excited. Maybe it was because we were friends before we started whatever it was we were starting.

He broke apart first, looked into my eyes, and smiled. “I meant every word of it,” he said. “Ready to eat now?” he nervously laughed.

“Ready!” I said, laughing.

We dug in, and I was impressed with his skill in the kitchen. He had made homemade meatballs and sauce, and it was delicious despite his warning that he hoped it was alright.

After our meal, I told Nick that I had something for him, too. I pulled out the list, which I creatively titled, “Things We Can Do in Secret,” and handed it to him. He read it over, looked up, and smiled. “Not only are you absolutely gorgeous, you’re sweet and thoughtful, too,” he said, coming over to me. He took my hand and led me into his family room. He sat down on the
couch and pulled me down on top of him so he cradled me in his arms. He held one arm around my back, and he cupped my face with his other hand. He looked tenderly into my eyes and then brought his lips to mine, kissing me sweetly.

“I’m sorry about the secrecy thing,” he said.

I suddenly remembered that talking more about what we were starting was the main reason why I was there. Although all I really wanted to do was kiss him.

“It’s okay. It’s not ideal, but if it’s what we have to do to see where this can go, then I’m okay with it.”

“I want you to be more than ‘okay’ with it.”

“Oh, trust me. I’m more than okay with dating you.”

He smiled. “Is it going to cause any issues for you to keep this a secret from Lucy and Holly?”

I shrugged. “They are two of my best friends, so it’s not going to be easy.”

“If we’re being honest, I’m already finding aspects of this difficult at work.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, suddenly concerned that he regretted making the first move.

“I mean,” he said, kissing me once. “That it’s getting harder and harder for me to keep my hands off of you.”

I kissed him again.
“Oh really?”

His mouth found mine. “Yes,” he murmured against my lips. And then his tongue was moving in my mouth again, and I felt everything south of my belly button tighten as he held me in his arms and kissed me in that way that he did. The passion between us started to really heat up when Nick broke from me. “Are you okay with this?” he asked.