How He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy) (8 page)

I was definitely okay with it. I wanted him so badly. I nodded, and he kissed me again, slowly and sensually. His hands moved into my hair, and I could feel a dull throbbing between my legs as he turned me on in ways I had never felt before. I felt his erection pressing into my bottom, so I knew he was as turned on as I was.

He pulled back and kissed my forehead. “God, Julianne. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about a woman before.”

I melted into him. I had never felt the way I did with him before. No man had ever ignited the fire in me the way that he did. No man had ever turned me on with just a kiss the way he did.

He kissed me again, and tingles raced up my spine just being so close to him. His lips moved from mine and found my neck. I moaned in ecstasy and I’m pretty sure I said, “Oh God.”

“If we don’t stop now, I’m not going to be able to,” he whispered against my neck.

I didn’t want him to stop.

I wanted him. Badly.

But for some reason, I stopped the kiss. I cleared my throat. “I’d love a glass of wine,” I said.

He flashed his gorgeous smile at me. “I could use something, too,” he said. He kissed me once more and then helped me to my feet. We walked hand-in-hand to his kitchen, and he poured us both drinks.

As he poured, I stared down at the counter. I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t want him. Just to be sure that he understood, I said, “I hope you know that I just want to take things slowly. I don’t think you have any idea how much I really, really want to be with you, Nick. I have been attracted to you since the day Josie introduced you as my boss.”

“I’ve wanted you just as long.”

I glanced up at him.
“Really?” I was shocked by this revelation. If he wanted me all that time, he sure did a good job of hiding it.

He nodded. “Julianne, you’re gorgeous, sweet,
kind. You’re funny and you love dogs and you’re adorable when you’re tipsy. You’re smart and creative and fun to work with and to hang out with. What’s not to want?”

I blushed ferociously.

He kept talking. “I want to take things slowly, too. I don’t want to fuck things up with you, because you’ve become too important to me to rush into anything. But believe me, it’s painful waiting for you.” He glanced down at the bulge in his pants and I stifled a grin.

I loved that he knew me well enough to understand me, and I loved that he felt the same way that I did.

“So, just to clarify, are you okay with the secret thing?”

I nodded.
“Yeah. I don’t like the secret thing, but I will do whatever it takes to finally be with you.”

He gazed at me for a moment, and then he spoke. “Do you know that I don’t drink coffee? Or, at least, I didn’t before I started working at McMillan?”

My brows knit together as I looked at him in confusion. Why was he telling me this?

“I started drinking coffee because I knew you went to the kitchen every morning to get a cup. And going to the kitchen meant that I would have a moment with you, just you, to look at you, to talk with you, just to be with you. But I felt like an idiot going in there without a reason, so I started drinking coffee.”

I gaped at him, unable to believe that my fantasy was actually becoming a reality. “Seriously?”

“Yes.
Seriously.”

“Well I used to stop at Starbucks every morning before work. But when you started at McMillan, I started drinking the free coffee in the
kitchen  because it gave me a chance to have a moment with you.”

He smiled, and I giggled. And then he laughed, a hearty, adorable laugh, and my giggling turned into a laugh, too, the kind of laugh that left my belly aching.

When we both calmed down, he said, “And now I’m fucking addicted to caffeine!” And that set us both off again, until tears were streaming down my face at the giddiness we were both feeling at finally admitting our feelings to one another.

Nick put in a movie awhile later, and we cuddled on his super comfortable sectional couch. I fell asleep in his arms, my head against his chest, his arms circled around me, about halfway through the movie. He must have fallen asleep, too, because he gently woke me at three in the morning with a question: “Do you want to stay the night or do you want to drive home? You could have a guest room if you aren’t comfortable staying with me.”

“I’d like to stay with you, if it is alright,” I shyly said.

He smiled and led me through the house and up the stairs to a massive master bedroom. His king size bed had a light blue and khaki comforter, but I was so exhausted that I didn’t really notice much else as I entered his room. The dim lighting added a romantic effect, though we were both too sleepy to act upon the romance. He flipped back the covers to reveal light khaki colored sheets and walked to his closet. “What do you like to sleep in?” he asked.

“A t-shirt, shorts, whatever,” I responded. He returned seconds later with a white t-shirt and boxer shorts, and then pointed to the bathroom door in his room where I could change. I returned a moment later to find him sprawled out on his bed on top of the covers, eyes closed, wearing only boxer shorts.

My breath caught in my throat as I took in his nearly naked body for the first time. His darkly tanned six pack abs stood out against the lightly colored sheets, and I could make out the sexy cut of his hipbone. It made my mouth water as I stared at it. His broad shoulders looked
protective and strong. His body was perfectly toned. His black hair lay prominent against his pillow. He looked like a god lying there like that. Just flawless.

I stood staring for a moment before I worked up the courage to join him. He opened his eyes as I crossed the room to him, and he reached just above his head to turn off the light as I crawled into bed beside him. He gently guided me to him so that his arms were around me and I lay with my head on his chest. He lifted my head only momentarily to kiss me, then broke from me and said, “Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight, Nick.” We fell asleep, and I had the best night’s sleep possibly ever there in his arms.

Chapter 6

The next morning, Nick woke me with a kiss just before 7:00. We had to be to work by 9:00, and I needed to go home and shower and change for work. I had nothing with me as I hadn’t planned to spend the night.

“Good morning,” he said with a smile.

“Morning,” I said, smiling back shyly. He was gorgeous in the morning. He clicked a button and the blinds opened. His eyes lit up brightly against the bright morning light and his khaki sheets. I could stare at him forever, but I had to get up and get home so I could get to work.

I used his restroom quickly and he went in after me. I changed back into my clothes from the night before and headed downstairs.

He had brewed some coffee for me, and I gratefully poured a cup into a travel mug I found in one of the cabinets. I was even more pleased when opened the refrigerator to find my favorite creamer: fat free vanilla. I took a sip of the coffee and it was heaven.

He came up behind me and slid his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. I felt goose bumps form on my legs at his kisses.

“I figured you’d want some coffee, so I brewed a pot. I hope it tastes okay. I don’t usually make it.”

I grinned and took a sip.
“Mmm. Delicious.”

“Do you have to go?” he asked playfully.

“Unfortunately, yes. My boss is a real jerk if I show up late.”

“Sounds like a douche. Maybe you should just stay here with me.”

I giggled. “I’ll see you in less than two hours,” I said. I set my coffee down and turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kissed me.

“You taste like coffee,” he murmured against my lips.

“You taste like heaven. I have to go,” I said, kissing him again.

He dragged himself away from me and walked me to the door. We kissed once more by the door, and then I was on my way home. I pulled out my phone to call Travis.

“Hey you,” he answered, sounding groggy.

“Hey. Did I wake you?”

“I had to get up anyway. How was your night?”

“Amazing,” I said.

“Did you spend the night?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“You can’t. Not with me.”

“Spent the night, but no sex.”

“Lame. Call me when you’ve fucked him. That’ll give us something to talk about.”

“Travis, that’s crude.”

“Did you expect anything less from me?”

“True.
Perv.”

“I’m not denying it. So what happened?”

“We made out for awhile and then I sort of stopped it.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want him to think I’m a whore.”

“Jules, you’ve known the guy for a year. He’s not going to think you’re a whore.”

“I know. But this is new, and neither of us wants to fuck it up by rushing into things.”

“Smart.”

“I know. Tell me about you. How are you dealing with the Brooke break-up?

“I went out with Danny last night and met a girl at Mahogany.”

“What was her name?” I asked.

“Mindy. She was kind of an idiot, but she was hot.
Great rack. I fucked her,” he spoke vulgarly.

“That’s wonderful, Trav,” I replied sarcastically.

“It was just a one-night thing. I realize that I shouldn’t have done it. In fact, we didn’t even exchange numbers.”

“She sounds classy.”

“Well, what do you expect from a girl I picked up at a bar?”

“Travis, that’s not like you. What were you thinking?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I am still working through this breakup, and I was drunk. It was a stupid mistake.”

“Well as long as you realize that. Just be careful. You know I love you and just want to see you happy.”

“I know, Jules. You too.”

I arrived home and took a quick shower. I didn’t have much time to kill, so I pulled my wet hair into a bun and threw on some clothes. I wanted to look extra hot for Nick, but I didn’t have enough time to make it happen.

I pulled into work a minute before 9:00, and Nick’s silver BMW was already in the parking lot. I wasn’t surprised that he was already there, but I still had hoped for a hot morning elevator kiss to get my day started.

I went for my morning coffee, but to my disappointment, Nick wasn’t in his office.

I settled into working on the market analysis, and I was nearly done with pulling the research together into a document. With any luck, I’d have it done by the end of the day, and then I could spend my Friday working through all of my accounts that had been neglected due to the holidays and the report.

By lunchtime, I still hadn’t seen Nick. I wanted to walk into his office and pull him by his tie into my arms and kiss the daylights out of him, and I didn’t give a damn whether or not it would be appropriate for the workplace. However,
every time I tried to stop by and see him, his door was either closed or it was open but his office was empty.

I pulled one of the backup frozen meals I kept in the freezer in the kitchen and cooked it. I brought it back to my desk with me and worked through lunch. By 4:30, the analysis was complete and I was satisfied, but I hadn’t seen Nick all day, and it felt like something was missing. I would have been itching to see him before our declaration of feelings, but now that I knew that the feeling was mutual, my obsession for him had only intensified.

I emailed the report file to Nick, who needed to approve it before it went to Davidson. I printed out two copies of the fifty-page report and smiled, knowing that my hard work had paid off.

I went to Nick’s office and found his door opened about an inch. I knocked on it and pushed it open, and he was sitting at his desk engrossed in some paperwork. “Yeah,” he called when he heard my knock, not looking up. His jaw was set in strong determination, and something about the way he looked as he sat there in deep concentration set me on fire. He was just too hot for words.

“Um, hey, Nick,” I stammered. He held a finger in the spot where he had finished reading and he finally looked up at me.

“Hi, Julianne,” he smiled warmly. “Come on in.”

I did, unsure of whether or not to close the door (ultimately leaving it open), and I sat at his desk across from him.

“What can I do for you?” he asked.

“I finished the market analysis. I need your approval before sending it to Davidson. I also emailed it to you.” I was finding it hard to play the professional when he was sitting there looking at me with those smoldering eyes.

“Of course.
Give me two minutes to finish reading this document, and I’ll be happy to review your work.”

I nodded, and he flashed me another smile. Clearly he wasn’t having the same difficulties with maintaining professionalism that I was.