How to Ditch Your Fairy (13 page)

Demerits: 6

Conversations with Steffi: 9

Game suspensions: 1

Public service hours: 19

Hours spent enduring Fiorenze

Stupid- Name’s company: 7.66

Number of Steffi kisses: 2

Days Steffi not talking to me: 2

Parking spots for Danders Anders: 16

Vows to kill Danders Anders: 31

I
sn’t there a closer bathroom?”

“Sure,” Fiorenze said, “but the one we’re going to is the darkest.”

“It’s not near your dad’s rooms, though, is it?”

“Oh, no. He has his own bathroom.”

“How many bathrooms do you have?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never counted. Maybe twelve, I guess. But this one,” she said, opening the door while balancing the bowl of salt and knife, “is the darkest. No windows.”

“Okay,” I said, folowing her in.

Fiorenze placed the bowl on the floor and rested the knife on top of it. I put the antiseptic and Band-Aids beside them and shut the door. The knife looked sharp, but I was more worried by the salt. It was
a lot
of salt. We had to put a fistful of it in our mouths while we cut our thumbs.

I like salty things, but not
that
salty. It reminded me of the time me and Nettles had made a cake together—we were both little.

We’d gotten the salt mixed up with the sugar, and put in way more than the recipe said because we both have a sweet tooth. It had been the worst shock of our lives when we tasted the batter! I’d almost choked; Nettles had vomited. She’d been so discombobulated by the whole thing she didn’t take any photos. But even after we’d drunk liters and liters and liters of orange juice, al we could taste was salt. Water became ocean in our mouths.

What if I couldn’t keep the salt in my mouth for the count of one hundred? The swap would be ruined.

“You ready?”

“Yes. We should cut ourselves
before
we turn off the light, right?”

“Tamsin says it doesn’t work unless you do everything in the dark.”

“Fine. If that’s what she says. But no slipping and taking out one of my eyes.”

“I’l do my best.” Fiorenze sat down with her back against the bathtub. She patted a spot on her right. “You sit here when the lights are off. Just two steps, then sit.” She shifted the bowl so it was between us and picked up the knife.

I nodded. “Got it.” I reached my hand to the light switch and then paused. “Are you sure you want to do this, Fio? Every girl in school, not to mention some of the boys, wel, they’d kil for your fairy.”

“They’re insane. Ten seconds with my fairy and they’l change their mind. You wil too, Charlie.”

I doubted that. I’d have Steffi. “My fairy’s much worse. You’re going to get sick of everyone bugging you to get in their car. Just wait until Danders finds out.”

“It’l beat being chased by every boy my age.”

“So you’re sure?”

“I’m completely sure.”

“Me too. Okay, here goes the light.” I turned it off.

“Hmm,” Fiorenze said. “Turn it back on.”

I did. Fiorenze jumped up, shoved a towel in the gap under the door, and then she grabbed some toilet paper to fil up the keyhole.

“It realy has to be that dark?” I asked.

“As dark as possible. According to Tamsin, fairies don’t like the dark.”

“Scared of the dark, and of dirt, and carrots. Fairies are weird.”

“No argument from me.” Fiorenze smiled, then sat back down, adjusting the knife and salt next to her. “Lights,” she said.

I turned them off again. This time we were in complete darkness.

Al I could see were the lines and smudges on the back of my eyelids. “Dark enough for you?”

“More than enough. Let’s hope it’s enough for our fairies.”

“Okay, I’m walking toward you. One step, two step. Coming down.”

The tiles underneath me were cold. I could hear Fiorenze breathing and feel the movement of air between us.

Fiorenze breathed in sharply. “I just cut my thumb. I’m passing the knife to you, hilt first.”

I took it from her and brought the blade across the tip of my right thumb.

Nothing happened.

“Are you bleeding?” she asked.

“No,” I said, annoyed with myself. I tried again and managed to break the skin. I brought my thumb to my mouth but didn’t taste blood.

“Hurry. My cut’s drying up.”

I pressed the tip of the blade in harder and then drew it across quickly. “Ow!” I felt the air against the broken skin, and then felt the blood dripping down my thumb.

“Okay,” Fiorenze said, grabbing for my hand and hitting my shoulder.

“Here,” I said, grabbing her hand. Clumsily we pressed the two wounds together. “This is so undoos.”

I heard the bowl shifting on the tiles. “Oh. The salt!”

“Yes,” she said. “I’ve got a handful. Now you.”

I felt along the tiles for the salt bowl, careful to keep our thumbs pressed together, and got Fiorenze’s shin. “Sorry!”

“Hurry up.”

I found the edge of the bowl and then slid my fingers into the salt crystals. They were sharp and dry. I gathered as much as I could between my fingers, but couldn’t help remembering what it was going to taste like. My stomach contracted and my throat tightened.

“Okay, I’ve got some.”

“On the count of three shove it in your mouth. Don’t let your hand slip.”

“Sorry.” I gripped her hand harder.

“Ready?”

I nodded. Then remembered the dark. “Yes, ready.”

“One. Two. Three.”

I shoved the salt into my mouth, pressed my lips tight together, and tried not to gag. The saltiness was so intense it felt like I was tasting it in my nose. It burned. My eyes watered. Then I remembered I was supposed to be counting to one hundred. I started at twenty. The urge to spit the salt out was so strong that I squeezed Fiorenze’s hand as tight as I could.

What felt like hours later Fiorenze mumbled, “One hundred,”

through a mouthful of salt.

“We’re done?” I managed to squeak out.

“Yes.”

I leaped up, knocking the salt bowl over, turned the light on, my eyes watering at the insane brightness of it, then I spat the salt into the sink. Fiorenze spat after me.

“Gah,” she said, turning on the tap and pushing me aside to fil her mouth with water, rinsing noisily and spitting again.

I stuck my head under the tap in the tub and did the same. But no amount of rinsing and spitting was getting rid of that taste.

“It’s so disgusting,” Fiorenze said, rinsing and spitting again.

“Do you think it worked? Do you feel any different?” I maybe felt different, but I couldn’t be sure. Al I knew was that my mouth was a salt lick.

She rinsed and spat again. “Don’t know.”

I sucked in more water to swirl around my mouth and turn into ocean. “Maybe if we tried drinking or eating something with actual flavor? You know, rather than water?”

“Genius idea. Hey, shouldn’t you clean up your thumb?”

I looked at it. A flap of skin was hanging off the top and the cut was bleeding copiously. Pox. I had fencing again today. It was going to be fun holding a foil without making it bleed al over again.

“Oops,” I said, thrusting it under the tap. “Pass me the Band-Aids.”

Fiorenze rummaged around in the cupboard above the sink.

“Here,” she said, grabbing my hand, dousing the thumb in antiseptic

—

“Ow!” It stung something fierce.

“Hush.”

She put a big wodge of cotton over the cut. “Hold that there til it stops bleeding.”

I did and noticed the time. “It’s almost seven, Fio.”

“Pox! We haven’t put the book away yet!”

“I’l do it.”

“No! You might bleed on it.”

“How long does it take you to get to school?”

“Twenty minutes if Waverly gives us a lift and the traffic’s okay.

I’l go beg him and get ready. You can shower in here. I’l grab your bag and some towels. Won’t be a sec.”

“No worries,” I said.

I put a fresh piece of cotton over my cut and held it in place with a Band- Aid. Then I went into Tamsin’s mirror room. Through my tired eyes I could see the halos of my fairies. The white was gone.

In its place there was a healthy red halo and the same thin blue one of my proto- fairy.

It had worked. I had Fiorenze’s fairy; she had mine. With any luck I would never ever hear anyone squeal for joy over finding a perfect parking spot again! I couldn’t wait to see Mom, her sisters, her best friend, Jan, and Nana and Papa crushed with disappointment as they trawled the streets of the city in vain, while I convulsed with laughter in the backseat.

I would never smel of gasoline again!

Tomorrow, or rather
today
, was going to be the best day ever. I spun around on my toes and screamed. I’d done it!

Demerits: 6

Conversations with Steffi: 9

Game suspensions: 1

Public service hours: 19

Hours spent

in Fiorenze

Burnham- Stone’s company: 11.14

Number of Steffi kisses: 2

Days Steffi not talking to me: 2

F
iorenze didn’t look any more like her father than she did like her mother, except around the eyes. He had a squashed nose, almost like a pug, which made me wonder if he’d been a boxer. His nose looked like it had been pounded long and often.

He nodded when Fiorenze introduced us.

“Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Burnham-Stone,” I said, resisting the urge to ask him about his nose.

“Cal me Waverly. And you’re Charlie? Fio’s told me a great deal about you.”

She had? Fiorenze continued to shovel in her cereal without looking up.

“Al of it praise,” he said, staring at me almost as intently as his wife had. I joined Fiorenze in cereal shoveling, despite the fact that it tasted like salt. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Are you both ready to go?”

We nodded. Fiorenze grabbed our plates and practicaly hurled them into the sink. I’d brush my teeth at school. Maybe that would make the salt taste go away.

“This way,” he said. I wiped my mouth and slung my bag over my shoulder, and folowed as he led the way to the garage. It was every bit as large as I expected. Although it housed six cars, there was room for more.

My nostrils filed with the sharp unpleasant reek of gasoline and my mouth with bile. Even if I didn’t have a parking fairy anymore, I stil hated cars. I wished we were getting a lift to school in anything else. Why didn’t they own a helicopter? They were rich enough.

Fiorenze’s father unlocked the smalest car and climbed into the driver’s seat. Fiorenze slid in back. I sat next to her and put my seat belt on. She hadn’t said a word since introducing us. As the garage door opened and he eased the car out and onto the driveway, I thought about asking her if she’d enjoyed the salty breakfast. And especialy if she felt any different.

I kind of did feel different. It was certainly weird being in a car that wasn’t going to automaticaly get a parking spot, or rather it was, but it wasn’t going to be
my
parking spot! That made being in a car not quite so malodorous.

“How is your campaign to get into the basketbal stream going?”

Waverly asked as we puled onto Cliffside Drive. “I hear they’re likely to hold a new tryout any day now.”

“What’s that?” I spluttered. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. How had Fiorenze known about that? The only people who knew were Rochele and Sandra and Steffi. And why had she told her father? I glared at the side of Fiorenze’s head.

“It would be quite the coup if you made it, wouldn’t it?” he asked. “I don’t believe anyone’s been selected in the middle of the year in a long time.”

“Six years ago,” I said. “Tyzhe Xian was accepted into basebal.”

It felt strange and wrong to be discussing my basketbal aspirations with anyone other than Rochele, Sandra, or Steffi. What had Fiorenze been thinking? And what had Rochele or Sandra been thinking to tel her in the first place?

I wished Fiorenze lived closer to school and we could’ve walked.

At least there wasn’t that much traffic getting to the city. It shouldn’t be long before we arrived in the brand-new world of Steffi liking me again.

“And she went on to represent the city, didn’t she? A lovely precedent. Didn’t she have a never- drop- a-catch fairy?”

“That’s right. You’re a fairy expert too, aren’t you, sir?” I asked, hoping he would start talking about himself, rather than me.

“Not ‘sir,’ Waverly,” he said. “I hear you have a parking fairy.”

“Um,” I said, glancing at Fiorenze for guidance, but her eyes were on her lap. Did she want me to tel her father that we’d just fairy swapped? I didn’t think so. She hadn’t exactly asked his permission or told him anything about it. On the other hand, she’d told him one of my big secrets.

“What’s your fairy?” I asked.

“Jukebox.”

“What’s a jukebox fairy?” I asked, wondering what a jukebox was.

“Wherever I go the music playing is always something I like. I never hear music I hate.”

“If you never hear it, how do you know what music you don’t like?” I asked, not sure if I’d made any sense. It was spinny trying to figure it out. Didn’t you know what you liked in contrast to what you didn’t? But if he only heard music he liked, he’d never have any contrast. Did that mean he liked everything?

Waverly laughed. “You’re funny, Charlie. I can see why Fio likes you. Your parking fairy doesn’t affect traffic, does it? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten through the city this fast before.”

“Not that I know of,” I said, peering out the window. Seemed like a lot of traffic to me. Just that it wasn’t backed up. The footpath was chockers too. Mostly Sports students beautifuly turned out in their brown uniforms, ties straight, hats on, heading to school.

One of them was Steffi. Time to test the new fairy.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “Can you stop here, sir? I mean, Waverly?

We could walk from here.”

“Of course,” he said. “I’l just need to find a—speak of the devil.”

A car puled out just in front of us and Waverly slid his car into its place. “You do have a parking fairy, don’t you?”

I made a noise that could have been either a yes or a no. “Thank you for the lift, sir, um, Waverly.”

“You’re welcome.”

Fiorenze was already out on the footpath, students flowing past her. She was grinning.

“Good- bye,” I said, shutting the door and turning to Fiorenze.

She hugged me. “It works! Not one boy has spoken to me. Not a single one! Thank you so much!”

I did not return the hug. “You told your father about me wanting to switch to basketbal! How did you even—”

“Charlie!” Steffi caled from behind us. He was talking to me again. Yes!

Steffi planted a kiss on my cheek. My entire face got hot. The al-the- boys- wil- like- you fairy was up and running. I hoped his fairy would protect me from kissing demerits like it had for Fiorenze.

“You look great,” he said, grinning. He’d never said anything about my looks before. “What were you doing in a car? What about your parking fairy?”

“It’s a long story,” I said. My cheek stil tingled. “What are you doing walking to school from this direction?”

“I was rowing on the river with my dad.”

“Huh. Didn’t know you rowed.”

Steffi did his hand- flicking thing. “I do lots of things there’s no space for at school. You’re realy looking lovely today, Charlie.”

He slipped his hand into mine and my face got hotter, even under my eyebrows. I wondered if you could give yourself sunburn from the inside.

“I didn’t think you
could
get lovelier. Hi, Fio,” Steffi said as if he were noticing her for the first time. “How’s it going?”

“Doos,” Fiorenze said, grinning widely as we turned in at the school gates. “
Vastly
doos.”

“Excelent,” Steffi said, but he wasn’t looking at Fiorenze. “You know what I’ve been wondering, Charlie?” he asked. “I’ve been wondering where the word ‘doos’ comes from. I never heard anyone use that word before I moved here.”

I had no idea.

“Hey, Charlie,” Bluey Salazar said. “I’m so sorry about what happened with Danders Anders. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. I mean it,” he said, staring into my eyes intently.

“Anything at al.”

“No worries, Bluey,” I said. “Al is wel.”

“I’l say it is, Charlie,” Freedom Hazal said. “Have you done something new with your hair? You are so pulchy this morning, you’ve almost broken pulchiness.”

“Thanks, Freedom.”

It was going to be the best day ever.