How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (12 page)
—J
UNE
H
UNT
A Personal Note from June
Many people struggle with anger—with anger out of control, but that’s really not me. Yet how well I remember
that
day.
The scene remains vivid in my mind. I opened my friend’s desk drawer (something I had never done before) to get a few paper clips. Within seconds, I was staring at a piece of paper bearing these words:
We don’t need any more June Hunts in this world.
I was stunned…I was hurt…I was angry! Just an hour earlier, the writer of these words had said, “June, I’m really here for you. I want to help you; I want to support you.”
Her words cut deep; I felt as if I had been stabbed in the back. Immediately, fire began rising inside me—my cheeks felt hot. And I knew if I didn’t find a way to reduce the pent-up pressure, I would explode onto my “friend.” So I thought,
I need to go outside and jog. Running will help release all this heat.
Lacing my running shoes—tighter than normal—I walked out the front door ready to face my runaway rage. Then a few moments into my trek, I noticed my arms swinging higher than normal—intensely, vigorously, aggressively.
But after 20 minutes of running, I felt no relief. I had expected all my exertion to release the inner pressure—like a valve releasing the built-up steam inside a pressure cooker…but
it didn’t work. The valve over my heart seemed to be stuck! In fact, the longer I jogged, the greater the pressure became.
Soon I realized why there was no relief: I had been rehearsing in my mind—over and over—how much I had been wronged, deceived, betrayed. Yet the Bible clearly says in 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love…keeps no record of wrongs.” Keeps no record! I was doing the opposite. One thing was for certain—I wasn’t helping to put out the fire.
I remember thinking,
My anger isn’t any better—I need to do something else.
So I genuinely prayed, “Lord, teach me to act, rather than react.” Over and over, I repeated those words: “Lord, teach me to act rather than react…Teach me to act rather than react…” Soon I was rhythmically praying that prayer, right in sync with my running stride.
After an hour, my pounding heart was finally at peace. I was no longer controlled by the debilitating sense of betrayal. Of course, the initial problem had not yet been resolved. But that night I released all my anger to the Lord.
I readily admit that the next day, during the discussion with my friend about the note, my anger did return. But this time I was able to control its fire rather than let the fire control me. I was no longer being consumed by its heat.
Ever since that day, when I feel a strong sense of anger,
if—
and I do mean
if—
I sincerely pray, “Lord, teach me to act rather than react,” God gives me grace to carefully weigh my words and speak with self-control. And my heart is then at peace.
From my simple prayer—born out of anger—came a simple song:
When I feel disappointment with no soothing ointment,
and nothing is going my way,When my heart has been breaking and my soul is aching,
and I have no more words to say,I’m not under illusion, the only solution
is die to my rights each day,Because Christ is inside me to comfort and guide me,
and His life has taught me to pray:Lord, teach me to act rather than react,
with Your Spirit in control of me.Lord, teach me to help rather than hinder,
with the Lord being Lord of me.Lord, teach me to trust rather than mistrust,
with Your Spirit inside my soul.Lord, teach me to act rather than react,
I give You complete control.
Anger—Answers in God’s Word
Question:
“Why should I be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry?”
Answer:
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (James 1:19-20).
Question:
“What is the result of being an angry person?”
Answer:
“An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins” (Proverbs 29:22).
Question:
“What will happen if I hold on to anger?”
Answer:
“‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26-27).
Question:
“A fool gives vent to his anger, but what does the wise person do?”
Answer:
“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11).
Question:
“A hot-tempered person stirs up dissension, but what does a patient person do?”
Answer:
“A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (Proverbs 15:18).
Question:
“Why should I not be quickly provoked in my spirit?”
Answer:
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
Question:
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but what does a harsh word do?”
Answer:
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
Question:
“With what type of person should I not make friends or associate?”
Answer:
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered” (Proverbs 22:24).
Question:
“God tells us to not sin in our anger. What should I do when I have anger in my heart?”
Answer:
“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent” (Psalm 4:4).
Question:
“Why should I not rescue a hot-tempered man?”
Answer:
“A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again” (Proverbs 19:19).
Walking from Darkness into the Dawn
B. What Is Depression as Defined by Psychology?
C. What Are the Different Degrees of Depression?
D. What Are the Different Kinds of Mood Disorders?
E. Is Depression the Result of Sin?
II. Characteristics of Depression
A. What Is the Dialogue of the Depressed?
B. What Are the Symptoms of Depression and Mania?
A. What Are the Physical Contributors to Depression?
B. Why Is Depression Often not Diagnosed?
C. What Role Can Medication Play in Alleviating Depression
D. How Can Antidepressants Work to Relieve Depression?
E. What Are the Emotional Contributors of Depression?
F. What Are the Spiritual Sources of Depression?
G. Root Cause of Staying Stuck in Depression
H. How to Find Hope When Hope Seems Elusive
B. Key Passage to Read and Reread
C. How to Take off the Mask of Masked Depression
D. Depression and the Whole Person
E. Learn to Conquer Depression
F. Discover God’s Purpose for Permitting Depression
G. Do’s and Don’ts for Family and Friends
Walking from Darkness into the Dawn
H
ave dark clouds of depression poured their tears upon your soul? Are you emotionally stuck, your mind in the mud, your emotions all muddled? Do you feel isolated and alone, afraid that no one understands? If so, realize that you are far from being alone. People from all walks of life have languished under the dark clouds of depression.
Can anything bring back the blue skies of contentment? King David—no stranger to depression—discovered the answer. He learned how to exchange the darkness of despair for the light of hope.
Again and again, when David’s soul was downcast, he intentionally changed his focus. He fixed his focus on the faithfulness of his Savior, his Redeemer, his God. Three times, in three different verses, David asked himself the same question, and three times he followed with the same answer:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God”
I. D(P
SALM
42:5-6,11; 43:5).
EFINITIONS OF
D
EPRESSION
You may be saying “I can’t
think
straight. I can’t
feel
anything. I can’t even
will
myself out of the blues! What’s going on?” You may be weathering the storm clouds of depression. And just as there are different kinds of clouds, there are also different types of depression.
If you place a heavy iron on a heart-shaped pillow filled with foam rubber, the buoyant pillow will become pressed down—“depressed.” If you remove the iron a day later, the pillow will pop back up to its original form. However, if you wait six months to remove the iron, the pillow will not return to its original shape. Instead, the pillow will remain flat and depressed. A pillow, which can sustain temporary pressure, is not designed to hold its shape for a long time under heavy pressure.