How to Party with a Killer Vampire (31 page)

“So, you heard Nosey Parker almost got herself killed? Until I rescued her, of course.”

“You did not rescue me! And don’t call me that.”

“Yeah,” he continued, “you were about to asphyxiate and be burned to a crisp in a flaming trailer.”

“But I didn’t, did I? I got out, and so did Otto.”

“That she did,” Luke admitted to Brad. “But you might want to keep her out of the toolshed and away from sharp objects in the future.”

“What’s he talking about?” Brad asked, his eyes beginning to droop.

“I’ll tell you later,” I said. By the time I finished the words, Brad had nodded off.

“Did you learn any more from Jonas?” I whispered to the detective, not wanting to disturb Brad. “Or why he was stalking Angelica?”

“He was trying to get her to rely on him for protection by threatening her with an imaginary stalker. He wanted to prove that her husband-slash-bodyguard couldn’t take care of her the way he could. It was his way of bringing her closer to him and making her more dependent on him.”

“Wow. He was pretty delusional, wasn’t he,” I said. “Is Otto all right?”

“Yeah, I just came from there. The head wound is fairly deep, but he’ll be fine. Did you know the guy taught at Stanford? Read it in his file.”

I smiled, not surprised at all. “I’ll have to look in on him. He helped a lot, you know.”

“Yeah, so now what are you going to do with yourself?” Melvin asked.

I looked at him.

“Other than party,” he added, smiling. “At least try to stay out of trouble, will you?”

“Don’t worry. I’m going straight to Brad’s house and get his room ready for proper nursing care. I don’t want him bringing home any of those cute young candy stripers to give him a sponge bath.”

Detective Melvin laughed, a rare occurrence.

“Besides,” I continued, “I learned something from hosting this Vampire Party.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” Brad said groggily, his eyes fluttering open again.

I turned to him. “Anyone can pretend to be anything if they just get the right costume.”

And I had the perfect Naughty Nurse costume for tending to Brad.

Vampire Parties are all the rage, thanks to books, TV shows, and movies such as Twilight,
True Blood
, and
The Vampire Diaries
. Whether you’re on vampire Team Edward or werewolf Team Jacob, a fan or barmaid Sookie Stackhouse and vampire Bill Compton, or favor good/evil vampire brothers Stefan and Damon Salvatore, you can host a Night of the Living Dead party to celebrate a birthday, Halloween, or the latest vampire episode.

Lots of vampire-related party supplies are available, but you can easily make your own invitations and personalize them to your theme. For a coffin invitation, fold a sheet of black construction paper in half. Draw the shape of a coffin on the paper, making sure one side of the coffin is on the fold. Cut out the coffin and, using a sparkly pen, write “Do not open until midnight” or “Open at your own risk” on the front. Or you can type it up on the computer using a spooky font, print it, cut it out, and glue it to the front. Next, find a picture of your favorite vampire on the Internet or in a fan magazine and copy it for each invitation. Open the coffin and glue the picture on the right-hand side. On the opposite side, write the party details. For added fun, cut out drops of “blood” from red paper and place them in the envelope. Or add a set of vampire teeth.

Ask your guests to come as their favorite vampire—or werewolf—past or present. When they arrive, offer them face paints, vampire teeth, and vials of fake blood to add to their costumes. Make simple capes out of black fabric and hand them out to your guests.

Create a gothic atmosphere with helium-inflated black and red balloons. Tie the balloons onto furniture, to backs of chairs, and float them to the ceiling. Turn the lights down and light candles, or string holiday lights around the room. Replace regular lightbulbs with black lights and red bulbs. Make a giant coffin using a large appliance box. Paint it black, add a string of garlic or a wooden cross to the top, and place it in the center of the room to use for setting out snacks. Place vampire fangs, garlic, and plastic bats around the room or hang them from the ceiling. Cover your mirrors and black out your windows. Set the table with a black cloth and bright red paper products. Use vampire teeth as napkin rings. Make a centerpiece using a glass bowl, fill it with red-tinted water, and float black candles. Make some personalized tombstones from cardboard or foam, and write epitaphs on them for each guest. Set them around the room. Play Clair de Lune, Muse, and Coldplay music in the background.

Divide guests into two teams and have them answer trivia questions about vampires and such from Twilight,
True Blood
, or
The Vampire Diaries
.

 

Write down quotes from vampire books or shows and have guests try to identify the speaker.

 

Write down scenes from your favorite vampire film, book, or show, and have guests act them out for one another to guess.

 

Let guests make their own T-shirts with their favorite vampires or sayings on them. Print pictures of vampires and sayings on iron-on paper using the computer, and then let guests iron them on and decorate with glitter glue, sequins, and other embellishments.

 

Watch videos of your favorite vampire films or TV shows. Don’t forget the originals, such as
Dracula
, or the popular
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
.

Serve lots of red-colored food to satisfy that thirst for blood—red licorice, sliced red peppers, strawberries, red apples, red salsa with red tortilla chips, french fries with ketchup dip. Ask the bakery to tint a loaf of bread red, then make sandwiches with red jam. Cut out bat-shaped cookies, bake them, and spread with chocolate icing.

Offer a variety of red-colored drinks for the vampire guests, such as tomato juice, cranberry juice cocktail, red punch, red sports drink, etc. Freeze gummy worms in red water to make ice cubes for the drinks.

Make a coffin-shaped or tombstone-shaped red velvet cake, covered with chocolate icing.

Give the vampires plastic teeth, black capes, fake blood, posters of hot vampires, face-painting makeup, videos of the shows, or other vampire-related gifts—lots are available!

“I’ll drink to that!” my office mate on Treasure Island, Delicia Jackson, said after my work-for-hire chef, Rocco Ghirenghelli, set down a freshly decanted bottle of the Purple Grape winery’s two-year-old merlot.

“You’ll drink to what?” I asked her as I watched Rocco pour the maroon liquid into a glass etched with the words “California Culinary College.” The wine licked the inside of the glass as it spiraled like a whirlpool to the bottom.

“Ignore her, Presley,” Rocco said, raising an eyebrow at Dee. “She’ll drink to anything.”

Delicia stuck her tongue out at him. That was the kind of relationship my two event-planning assistants shared with each other.

Rocco, rarely out of his “chef whites,” was dressed in khaki slacks and a brown button-down shirt. He handed the glass to me. “Don’t chug it like you usually do.”

“I don’t chug my wine!” I said. “I’m just not pretentious, like some of those wine snobs.”

“There’s a big difference between gulping and tasting,” Rocco said. “I want you to really
taste
this wine. You have to know these things when you host that upcoming winery event.”

“I know,” I said defensively. As I reached for the glass, I had a sudden flashback to my college days—days of wine and chugging. Admittedly I could have used a few pointers if I wanted to carry off this prestigious party Rocco had snagged for me. I lifted the glass by the stem, like I’d been taught by the
Wine Goddess
cable television show, then swirled the contents as if I knew what I was doing. Bringing the glass to my lips, I inhaled the “bouquet.”

It smelled like grape juice. Really good grape juice.

“Okay, now savor it as you take it in,” Rocco said, as Dee looked on, frowning.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” I grinned mischievously. Rocco blushed the color of the red wine. Even his balding pate turned rosy.

I took a sip, swishing the liquid over my tongue and palate.

Dee giggled. “You look like a fish.”

“Don’t swish it,” Rocco demanded. “It’s not mouthwash.
Taste
it.”

I swallowed.

“So. What did it taste like?” Rocco asked, both eyebrows raised in anticipation.

“
Uh
. . . kinda fruity, kinda spicy. A bit of a woody aftertaste.” I’d learned some of the lingo from the TV show.

“Excellent! You’ve got a good palate, in spite of your tendency to guzzle wine as if it was tap water. All right, now hold your glass up to the light. What color do you see?”

I studied it a moment. “Dark maroon.”

Rocco nodded. “Good. Now inhale it and tell me about the aroma.”

I took a quick whiff, then a deeper inhale. “Definitely fruity. Like grapes.”

Rocco sighed and ran a hand through his thinning hair. Apparently “fruity” and “grapes” weren’t the descriptive words he was looking for. “Okay, this time, take a sip and let it rest in your mouth for a few seconds. Notice if it’s tart or sweet.”

I took a second minimouthful, let it “play” over my palate, and said, “Both.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dee pulling the bottle of wine toward her.

“Is it rich or lean?” Rocco asked. “Velvety or smooth? Silky or sticky?”

I set the glass down, causing it to clink against the desktop. “I don’t know, Rocco. It tastes like wine. Red wine. How am I supposed to enjoy it if I have to think about it?”

Rocco rolled his eyes, exasperated with his winedisabled student.

Behind his back, Dee was about to pour wine into her empty coffee cup.

He snatched the bottle from her hand. “That’s a sixty-dollar bottle of wine!”

“Come on!” Delicia said, holding her cup out like a street beggar. “Pour a couple of dollar’s worth in here. I want to get my
drink
on.”

Rocco ignored her. To me he said, “Well? Do you want this job or not?”

“Of course I want it! A wine-tasting event in Napa, with a food-pairing from the California Culinary College? Anyone would kill to do an event like that. I promise I’ll study up on wines before the event.”

Rocco’s face softened. He looked somewhat satisfied, until he no doubt realized that my definition of
studying
wine was essentially the same as
drinking
wine. “All right, I’ll let my sister, Gina, know. I’ve really talked you up, so don’t let me down.”

“I won’t, Rocco. I swear. Thank you. I owe you.”

With the wine bottle in hand, Rocco walked out of the office, leaving me to drool over the plum job he’d risked his palate and reputation for. His sister, Gina, was an instructor at the CCC in Napa and had been asked to cater some amuse-bouches—small bites—from her bestselling cookbook of the same name at a wine-tasting party. Her longtime friends Rob and Marie Christopher were hosting the event at their upand-coming boutique winery, the Purple Grape, to announce their newest merlot. They were hoping to make a splash with this inexpensive but hearty wine, and thought presenting it at a special tasting would be the best way to launch it.

And I was the lucky party planner who got to put it all together.

I was not only looking forward to planning the event; I was also excited about spending a few extra days in the world-famous California wine country. I planned to indulge in a spa treatment, maybe take a balloon ride, and hopefully enjoy some personal time with my “boyfriend,” Brad Matthews—if he could get the time off. As a crime scene cleaner, he never knew when he’d be called to clean up after a messy homicide, suicide, or accidental demise. Unlike a party, death had a way of arriving unplanned.

I’d also decided to take my mother along. She could always use a getaway from her care facility, and had mentioned she had an “old paramour” who lived in the Napa area. I just hoped her early-onset Alzheimer’s wasn’t playing tricks with her mind again.