How To Set Up An FLR (14 page)

- Have your partner remove your shoes and massage your feet when they need it. Or have him suck on your toes.

- Have your partner give you a full body massage. It does not have to be bedtime. Anytime you feel the need is good. It will keep you in a better mood so that you won't feel put out when you do things to arouse your partner.

- Have your partner give you oral sex, if that's what you need. Maybe just a few minutes of it at an unexpected moment.

- Have your partner entertain you in some way. It doesn't have to be sexual. It just has to be something you want. No one says that you have to entertain yourself, or your partner.

- Give them something to do while naked, (chores, perhaps). That will keep them busy, aroused, and out of your hair (for awhile anyway). (See the chapter on humiliation for ideas of ways to use your partner for your own entertainment.)

- There is nothing wrong with asking your partner to do something that is outside your agreement. Just because it is not in the agreement, doesn't mean he or she can't (or won't) do it. If you normally prepare the meals, ask your partner to do it. At least they can order out. Right?

- Have your partner prepare you a nice hot bath. Maybe even join you in one.

- Send your partner out on an errand. You can relax while they are gone.

There are a million and one things you can do. If you are at the point where your partner wants you to take complete control of them, do it. Don't be afraid to have them service you, both sexually and other wise. Just remember to try and make their chores more sexually exciting (for them, anyway).

As I will cover in the chapter on humiliation, you can always brighten up their day by having them serve you in some way that you can turn into a sexual thrill for them. As I suggested earlier, have them do their chores naked. Or, if children are present, send your partner to the bedroom to insert a butt-plug or arouse themselves in some other way. Believe me, butt-plugs are highly under-rated as a sexual turn on. Making your partner insert their own butt-plug can have an effect on their behavior as well as their sexual pleasure, and all you have to do is tell them to put it in.

If you just want your partner out of the way for awhile, try standing them in a corner for awhile. Maybe they can keep a penny from falling off the wall... With their nose.

Have your partner keep a daily journal. They can write about their feelings concerning their role in the relationship, their pleasure or displeasure about the way you are running things. Never punish or reprimand your partner for anything they write in their journal. It should be strictly a place for them to voice their feelings and opinions without fear of repercussions. Think of it as constructive criticism. If you can make a change for the better because of something they wrote, maybe you should.

Read their journal at least once a week. That will give you an idea of what things are working and what are not. You can adjust your routine, punishments, rewards, or whatever needs changing without any discussion. It's an excellent way for your partner to communicate their feelings without fear of embarrassment, or retaliation. You may discover that a journal can help you as much as does your partner.

Don't let your partner's routine become mundane, or boring. For example, making a man wear women's panties to work once a week or at irregular intervals will keep it exciting. Making him wear them every day will become boring quite rapidly.

Some people set up rituals. Maybe their partner has to kneel and kiss the dominant's feet whenever the dominant enters the house (or even the room). I don't use rituals and I'll tell you why. You have a ritual, most likely, when you get up in the morning. Perhaps it goes like this: You go into the bathroom, pee, wash your hands and face, brush your teeth, and apply a little makeup (or shave, as the case may be). It's a boring routine, but it is also a ritual. Rituals tend to get boring after awhile. They can be fun, and even reassuring, for awhile. I'm not saying that you can't, or even shouldn't use rituals. It's totally up to you. I choose not to because they they do become boring. I find them unnecessary, and often time consuming. You may not. To each his (or her) own.

Let me tell you what works better. Vary your routine. Instead of just telling your partner to do all their chores naked. Try having them do some of them naked, some of them while wearing a butt-plug, and some of them while wearing only an apron. Or try having your partner wear a maids outfit one day, be naked the next, and wear the butt-plug the next. Mix things up. It will do more for your relationship than you might expect. Have your partner inform you each time they finish a chore one day, tell them to do all their chores before reporting to you the next.

Again, there are thousands of variations that you can use. Just use your imagination. The more you use it, the better it will become. Don't make it hard on yourself even if you have to work at it the first few weeks. Before long, it will become second nature.

When I first took charge at home, I had difficulty in varying the routines for my husband. What I finally did was to sit down and think of as many variations as I could. Then I simply put them into a calendar in the order I had listed them. That way, each day had something different. It repeated for awhile, until I became confident enough to eliminate the calendar altogether. Then I would simply vary the routine as the mood struck me. Don't make it hard. Work smarter, not harder.

There are more chores to be done than you would first think. When I wrote them all down, I was surprised how much work there was to do, even though I had been doing them all for years. Make a list yourself and see what I mean. Sweep and mop the tile floors. Vacuum the carpets. Dust every room in the house. Wash the dishes. Wash, dry, and fold the laundry. Empty the waste baskets. Take out the garbage, Move the garbage cans to the curb on trash day. Clean the oven. Clean the bathrooms. Wash the windows. Vacuum the drapes. Wash the car(s). Mow the lawn... And on and on.

Like I said, don't knock yourself out. Make it easy.

~ ~ ~

Chapter 17: Cross Dressing

I admit, I don't have a great deal of experience with cross dressing. I have, however, done my research. I have spoken with many cross dressing males and dominant women with cross dressing subs. I have read everything I could find on the subject. So I do feel confident that what I am about to tell you is good, valid information.

There are really only two reasons for a male to engage in cross dressing... Because he enjoys wearing women's clothing, or because his dominant partner requires it. You may or may not have put anything about cross dressing in your agreement. But that does not necessarily mean you can not engage in a little bit of cross dressing anyway.

Since it doesn't seem to be at all humiliating to us women to wear men's clothing, I will assume a male partner for this discussion. After all, if it isn't at all humiliating, or your partner doesn't love doing it on his own, why bother?

Let's look at reason number one first. Some men enjoy cross dressing even if they have to do it on their own. I know one man who actually switches his identity to that of a woman when he feels like cross dressing. Other times, when he doesn't feel that way, he will dress and act “normally.” There are many other men out there who truly enjoy dressing up as a woman, complete with makeup and all. They all have their own reasons for it, some just like the feel of women's clothing against their skin, while others do it because they want to feel like a woman, and still others do it because they wish they were a woman.

In these cases, it may be best to use that to your advantage. Does it mean that you can't humiliate them by dressing them up? No! They may not be “out” to certain other people and being forced to dress up in front of, say, certain of their friends, would still be very humiliating. Maybe they are the type who likes to dress up but don't want to be seen in public like that. Again, it would be easy to humiliate those men.

Then there are the ones who wish they could be a woman and have no problem with others seeing them dressed as one. What can you do to them? Well, honestly not much. That is, unless you want to make them go out and pick up other men. Not really a very safe thing to do, but if it is done right, it can work. In these cases, it may be easier to find some other way in which you to humiliate them, if that is your goal.

One fact remains, all these men have one thing in common... They like it more when their partner “makes” them do it. Even the men who would do it on their own, without being told, love it when their dominant takes control and orders them to dress up.

Cross dressing, for some men, though it may not be as humiliating to them as it is for others, can be humiliated in some respect. You need to find out as much about their desire for cross dressing as you can. You need to understand why they enjoy it, what drives them to do it, and exactly how you can still use it to humiliate them. After all, it is something that arouses them and you want to find ways of keeping them aroused. Don't forget, you can always verbally humiliate him if cross dressing is one of his things. Tell him how ridiculous he looks when you take  him out. Or make fun of his choice of shoes with a certain outfit.

Here is a suggestion for these types of men. Don't allow them to do it unless you order (or give your permission for) them to do it. It should be under your control at any rate. You could possibly use it as a reward for good behavior. Or, you use it as a punishment by not allowing it at certain times. Either way, there are ways of using their desire to dress like women to help you control them.

Now for reason two. This one is much more fun to deal with. If your guy has, in any way, indicated that dressing in women's clothing would be humiliating to him, but that it might just turn him on to be “forced” to do it, you've got it made. Have fun with him. Dress him up and take him out on the town. Make him wear panties or a teddy to work under his street or work clothing. Make him go into a boutique and purchase things for him to wear. Make sure the sales clerk knows that the items are for him.

If you are lucky enough to have a guy who says he wouldn't mind wearing a pair of panties to work now and then, you have a gold mine of humiliations you can use against him, or for your own amusement. You may have to spend some time working up to different things, but it will be fun and you should have fun with it.

Start slow. Put him in panties (or pantyhose) when he is doing his chores instead of being naked. Make him wear a bra around the house, or even under his shirt when he goes to work. Slowly advance to him wearing high heels or a maid's costume, or both. Have him serve drinks or whatever the next time you have your girl friends over. Advance still more and have him serve at a party at your place. Then try it at someone else's home.

If you discover that he has fantasies involving being forced to dress like a woman, try telling him, while you are teasing him, that you want to actually turn him into a woman. Perhaps he will be turned on by being told that you want him to be taken anally by other men, if that's a part of his fantasy. Or, for fantasy's sake, tell him you are going to do it anyway. Remember, fantasy is a fast track to his libido. So use it!

Even if you never make him wear so much as a pair of panties, you can always use his desire or fantasies, of wearing women's clothing to heighten his arousal. And it is so easy to do. As I mentioned before, you can tease him and talk about having him used by other men. This is another fairly common fantasy, especially if he enjoys you using a strap-on dildo for anal intercourse.

Whatever reason he has for wanting to be dressed in women's clothing, you can always find ways of feeding his fantasies and humiliating him when you need (or want) to. Again, you may have to use your own imagination to come up with ways of doing it. But there are always ways of increasing his arousal and/or humiliating him. Reading stories on the Internet is a great way to come up with ideas of your own. Try it sometime.

As I said in the beginning of this chapter, my own experience is somewhat limited in this area. However, I have used it a time or two. I discovered that my husband did find it humiliating to wear women's panties instead of being naked when doing his chores around the house. It was also very arousing to him. I don't know if it was the feel of the panties (I used silk) or his own humiliation that turned him on so much, but it is fun.

Of course, I used that to my advantage. At least once a week I make him wear them. I have increased his fantasies about cross dressing by simply telling him that I would love to dress him up as a maid, with no panties and a very short skirt, and have him serve me and my girl friends some time. I know it works, he gets quite aroused when I talk about it, and it would be extremely humiliating for him if I ever took him to a dungeon party dressed in such an outfit. Perhaps I will do that one of these days.

I hope that you realize that fantasies such as these do not, in any way, indicate that your partner is mentally unbalanced or that there is something wrong with him. It does not mean that he is gay (though he might be). It is not a rare thing for men to have these kinds of fantasies. Just accept it and use it to your advantage.

~ ~ ~

Chapter 18: Bi-sex & Cuckolding

Male bi-sexuality, or at lease bi-sexual fantasies, are far more common than most men are willing to admit, and certainly more than most women think. I don't know why, but people in general seem much more comfortable with two women having sex than they are with two men. I don't know why that is, but it just is that way. Feeding into these fantasies, whether you are dealing with a male or a female, is a very simple thing. It isn't hard to figure out, that if your partner has fantasies of having sex with someone of their own gender, you can feed into those fantasies by simply talking about them (as in telling them to your partner) while you are teasing them sexually.