Hungry for Love (21 page)

Just as one of the girls was reaching out to offer her a kindly pat on the back and the other was again about to extend the sample tray toward her
,
Chrissy rose
,
violently held out both hands in the sign of the cross
,
just as someone holding a vampire at bay might
,
and she ran from the store.

She gazed down the street
,
where she could clearly see Bill and Laura strolling as though they hadn
’
t a care in the world.  Life sucked
,
she thought.  Then she turned and walked toward her car. 

Bill and Laura glanced at each other
,
both a bit queasy. 
“
They don
’
t usually put curry in cake frosting
,
do they
?”
he asked.

Looking nauseated
,
Laura said
,
“
Chocolate in eggplant
?
  The only wine you could serve with that food would be Alka Seltzer.
”

Ben was feeling good about himself.  Taking Clint up on his offer to be his trainer was a good idea.  He was already looking more buff
,
and he felt better too
,
more alive.  Who knew that joining a gym could be so entertaining
?
  He and Clint were marching up and down on Stairmasters and talking causally while observing a girl with an oddly familiar voice having what appeared to be a psychotic break. 

“
Woah
,
dude
,”
said Clint
,
“
Ketosis
,
not good
,
not good.
”

“
I think she
’
s on something
,
hopped up.  Cocaine
,
maybe
?”

“
Herbal diet pills
,”
said Clint
,
“
Super toxic.  Hope she snaps out of it.  C
’
mon
,
let
’
s hit the weights.
”

Ben followed Clint into the weight room and mimicked everything he did
,
only with smaller weights. 
“
You know
,
I think this is working
,”
he said happily
,
seeing an actual bicep in the mirror.

“
Of course it
’
s working
,”
said Clint. 
“
That
’
s why they call it working out.  Cause it works.
”

“
I just hope Angie starts noticing
,”
sighed Ben. 
“
I
’
m taking her to the movies tonight.
”

“
Well it
’
s a date
,
so that can
’
t be bad
,
can it
,”
said Clint
,
supportively.

“
Only if she thinks it
’
s a date
,
but I have a feeling she doesn
’
t.
”

“
Dude
,
I know you
’
re hot for this girl
,
but I just don
’
t get it.  There
’
s something I learned on PBS and I never forgot it.
”

Ben was surprised. He
’
d never seen Clint watching anything but porn or the Olympics. 
“
PBS
?”
he asked.

“
Did you know there are more women on the planet than dudes
?
  It
’
s a known fact.  And do you know why this is
?”

Ben nodded
,
“
Because the XX chromosome is statistically favored over the XY.
”

Clint shook off that bit of useless psychobabble and said
,
“
It
’
s cause dudes need options.  If a babe says no
,
there are always more who say yes.  Otherwise there would be an epidemic.
”
  Clint scowled at Ben
’
s look of disbelief. 
“
Yes
,”
he continued
,
“
An epidemic—of blue balls.  Nature doesn
’
t want that because dudes do all the building and nobody can drive a crane with blue balls.
”

Ben tried to conceal his laughter but he couldn
’
t and Clint didn
’
t even glare at him.  They
’
d been friends for too long. 
“
All I
’
m saying is go for what you want but don
’
t let it ruin your life.  For all you know there
’
s another girl way hotter than Angie who
’
d be lots less trouble.  I
’
ll fix you up if you want.  At least you
’
d have something to compare her with.  Or we can go out together.  Just think about it.
”

Ben nodded. 
“
You
’
re a great friend
,
Clint.  Thanks for the offer.  But first shouldn
’
t I try the advice you gave me the other day
?
  Show her I
’
m straight
,
be a little macho—I mean I
’
ve been in love with this girl since the third grade.
”

Clint shrugged. 
“
Ok
,
bud
,
maybe it
’
ll finally click.  You must be gangbusters in bed with stamina like that.
”

Ben smiled
,
happy to think of himself as gangbusters in bed.  Maybe he could be.  Right now
,
though
,
he was just relieved that nobody was asking him to drive a crane.

Angie stood happily in line at the revival theater
,
next to Ben
,
who carried a shopping bag from a book store.  He was the one person to whom she could confide everything.  Her eyes glowed brightly as she recounted her most recent experience with Dr. Flicker. 
“
And he was practically all over me.  I
’
m fearless around him.  I say things I
’
d never have the nerve to say to anyone else.  It feels so deep
,
so intense.
”

This wasn
’
t going at all the way it should.  Angie hadn
’
t even noticed his new clothes or the fact that his sleeves were rolled up to display his newly empowered biceps.  Ben had to do something
,
so when a decently sexy woman passed them he took a chance. 
“
Woah!
”
he said in his best Clint imitation. 
“
Look at her!  She
’
s hot!  You think she
’
d go for me
?”
  Then he carefully scrutinized Angie to see if she presented the hoped for reaction.  Was that the tiniest glint of insecurity
?
  Did she seem a little jealous
?

“
Sure she would
,”
said Angie. 
“
Go talk to her.
”

Oh no!  Ben
’
s heart lurched. 
“
What about you
,”
he said
,
trying to lead the conversation back to where it belonged.

But uncomprehending of his true meaning
,
Angie said
,
“
Oh don
’
t worry about me—I can take a cab home.  You deserve to meet a nice woman.
”