Hungry for Love (29 page)

Yet maybe it made sense.  She had eaten very little all day
,
so even if she tasted
,
perhaps tomorrow she could shore up her resolve
,
redouble her efforts
,
take the day off from the deli if necessary.  But what if this
were
the slippery slope
,
the thing that would suck her back into the abyss of fat
,
just as it had done so many times before
?

Angie sighed and she paced
,
walking back and forth to the display case
,
opening it once or twice
,
even taking a platter out and then returning it to the case.  What a vexing situation.  Finally
,
with a deep breath and the desperate hope that this wouldn
’
t be the end of her slim self
,
she made herself a plate
,
one bite of each item in the case.  At last
,
she would taste her food. 

Tempted to stand at the case and just eat
,
she decided instead to set a place for herself at a table.  It was an occasion
,
a special event
,
one she hopefully would not be repeating again for a very long time.

So there she sat
,
the plate before her
,
cutting edge
,
revolutionary cuisine ready for her to sample.  She lifted the fork and took a bite
,
her face alight with both positive expectation and fear of being unable to stop herself.  What if it was so fantastically delicious she couldn
’
t stop
?
  What if she grazed through the entire display case
?
  Angie chewed slowly as she
’
d recently learned to do.  She let the food move around against her taste buds.  She chewed some more.  And some more.  And then she gulped.  The expression on her face turned from glorious expectation mixed with fear of future addiction to unbelievable horror.  But no
,
it couldn
’
t be.

More bites followed.  Bite after bite.  Soon she began cutting her one-bite portions into half bites and small slivers.  It didn
’
t take long for her to register the same expression that Bill and Laura had endeavored to conceal.

“
Oh my God!
”
she exclaimed.  She felt like heaving the plate against a wall
,
but a knock on the door distracted her. 

It was Ben.  Angie rose
,
opened the door and in he came
,
opening his arms for a hug.  She hugged him back rather distractedly then pulled away
,
unaware that he was still hugging.  He stumbled a bit
,
then reached in toward her hoping to kiss her at last
,
but she turned her cheek to accept what was assumed to be a friendly kiss
,
which devolved into an awkward face to mouth bump.  Ben blushed
,
once again foiled in his efforts
,
but of course Angie didn
’
t notice at all
,
so distracted was she.

“
My food sucks!  Jesus this stuff is inedible.
”

She looked so upset that Ben tried immediately to help her. 
“
No
,
you
’
re a fantastic chef.  Don
’
t be silly.  You
’
re the best cook I ever met.
”

“
Cutting edge cuisine
,
my ass.
”

“
I love that spaghetti Bolognese you used to make.
”

Angie reached for the plate
,
removing it from the table
,
and started walking back toward the kitchen
,
but then something opened inside her and she turned toward Ben
,
her eyes wide. 
“
I must have figured if I was giving up food then why make it wonderful for everyone else—why let them have pleasure while I was suffering.
”

Ben smiled at her
,
impressed with her insight.

“
I know caramel doesn
’
t belong inside meatballs
,”
she said
,
her voice growing more excited
,
“
And I transferred my anger at my dad into this cutting edge crap—making shitty food to punish people who were allowed to indulge.
”
  Angie paused a moment
,
still thinking. 
“
How about that!  He wasn
’
t a quack.
”
  Angie smiled at Ben then and said
,
“
Come on
,
I
’
m gonna make you some good food.
”

In short order Ben and Angie sat opposite each other eating plates of spaghetti with nice salads on the side.  Ben ate happily and smiled at Angie.  She was so wonderful. 
“
Remember that scene in
Lady and the Tramp
?”
he asked.

“
Where all the dogs are depressed and locked up
?”
she replied
,
pausing for a moment to think about Ben. 
“
Ahh
,
you
’
re so sweet to worry about me. I
’
m fine
,
though.  Really.
”
  She reached out and squeezed his hand
,
not noticing the disappointment that flickered across his face.

Kevin enjoyed driving along the serpentine curves of Sunset Boulevard in the evening.  As long as he stayed west of the Sunset Strip
,
traffic was light and he could just relax and appreciate the excellent way his car handled.

At a conveniently discrete distance behind the Porsche
,
Butch and Wimp drove along
,
Kevin
’
s frequent
,
mostly unnoticed shadow.  Wimp had been worrying and fretting and attempting to get Butch to give up this quest.  Butch turned to Wimp and said with assurance
,
“
Not this time we won
’
t.  Watch this!  I
’
m gonna lead this horse to water and then run him off the road.
”
  Her foot pressed down on the gas and the car sped forward
,
coming closer and closer to the Porsche.

Kevin turned around as a black SUV came so close to him it was practically riding on his bumper.  Did he know that car
?
 
“
What the devil
,”
he muttered.  He pressed down on the gas
,
speeding forward
,
determined to shake this insane driver.  He sped up
,
changed lanes
,
craned his neck and squinted into the rearview mirror but couldn
’
t see who was driving the car.

Closer and closer to Kevin
’
s bumper Butch drove
,
almost grazing him
,
then backing off slightly with a chortle while beside her Wimp gulped and grasped the sides of his seat. 
“
We
’
re gonna crash into him
,
be careful
,”
he said
,
terrified.

“
Oh there
’
s gonna be a crash all right
,
but it
’
s not us who
’
s crashing
,
it
’
s the sound of his mean little mind exploding.
”
  Butch sped up once again and whizzed so close to Kevin
’
s Porsche that he was forced almost to the side of the road.  Feeling  a surge of power
,
Butch sped up even more
,
ignoring the shrieks coming from the passenger seat.  They were almost neck and neck in one lane.  It was as good as a scene in a movie and she shivered a bit from the thrill of it all.

“
Stop it
,
please
,”
begged Wimp.

Looking all around him
,
Kevin spotted the entrance to the 405 freeway ahead of him on the other side of Sunset.  Just as the maniac slowed a bit
,
he had his chance.  He turned the wheel
,
crossed within inches of the several cars heading east on Sunset and blazed down the incline onto the freeway.  He
’
d eluded them
,
well perhaps he had.  His heart was pounding but Kevin sensed all would be fine.