Hush (3 page)

I sighed. “What do you propose I do then? I’ve called every available flat or room for rent and they’ve all been taken.” Smoke that one in your pipe tall, dark, and handsome.

Not again, Sloane, wasn’t one brother enough?
Scolded my conscious.

Siva smirked. “Live with me,” he said.

My mouth dropped open. “Live… with… you? You’ve only met me once!” I cried. “I- I could be a murderer for all you know!”

He looked down at his elegant fingers. “You fascinate me and I hate to see harm come to you on these streets when you could so easily live with me,” he said his British accent making me melt.
“As for the question of you being a murderer? Well, I doubt that. You don’t strike me as the type and I could easily over power you.
I promise to give you your spac
e,” he added.

“I’d be in your way,” I said.

“No, you wouldn’t,” he said. “If you’d be in my way why would I offer you the use of my home?”

“Touché,” I said and he smirked. “I’ll pay you rent,” I said.

He chuckled, his purple eyes lighting. “That’s not necessary. I have money Sloane.”

“Oh of course,” I said. Dev’s family had money. His dad was some kind of real estate tycoon and I remembered vaguely reading in a magazine somewhere that Siva was also a high money maker.

“Yes,” he smiled.

“I can’t,” I sighed.

“Yes, you can,” he said.

I shook my head. “I don’t want to be a burden. I should just return home. I don’t belong here,” I said.

“And where is home?” he asked.

“Georgia,” I said.

Siva suddenly stood and strode into my bedroom. I followed him and watched as he began opening drawers and dumping their contents into my suitcase which he had found on the top shelf of the closet.

“What the hell are you doing?” I cried.

“Packing for you,” he said. “I feared you’d be stubborn.”

“Siva! This isn’t necessary!”
I glared at the perfect specimen of man destroying my bedroom while he packed my bags. “Okay! Okay!” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “I’ll go with you if you’ll just stop going through my stuff!” I said and snatched a bra from his hands.

He grinned triumphantly.

“But only on a temporary basis,” I said. “I’ll continue to look for my own place.”

His smile fell but he took his victory. He looked up at me with his violet eyes and thick black lashes. “I can be very convincing
when I wanted something, Sloane
.”

“I can too,” I hissed.

He smiled and I eased.

“You’ll come with me now. I’ll have you furniture put into storage today. I’m aware that my father said that if anything was left he would take
it
,” he said.

I didn’t bother asking him how he knew that because frankly I didn’t want to know. Instead I simply looked at him and murmured, “Thank you.”

Siva had just saved my butt and he knew it. He grinned. His teeth were pearly white against the caramel of his skin.

“You’re welcome,” he whispered.

I grinned as an idea struck me. Siva noticed.

“What is it that has crossed your mind?” he asked.

“I was wondering… can I leave a note for your father saying that I’m with you? It’ll get under his skin and dig at him,” I said.

Siva laughed. I loved his laugh. “Certainly, I love any opportunity to spurn my father. Write your note and we’ll be on our way,” he said.

I gra
bbed a piece of paper and a pen from the kitchen.

Dear Mr. Kapur,

I have found lodging in the form of your son, Siva.

He
’
s a very gracious man and most accommodating unlike
yourself
.

Enjoy the tea cup.

Sloane.

Siva came up behind me and read what I had written. He smirked and took the pen.

And Siva
.
He added after my name. I smiled at him.

“That’ll drive him crazy,” Siva said with a laugh. Despite his easy personality I was sure that something dark lingered behind his violet eyes.

He turned to me and said, “What’s with the tea cup?”

I laughed. “It’s childish, really. He drank from it the day he came to kick me out. I thought it was fitting.”

Siva laughed and I soaked in the sound.

“We better go,” said Siva.

“Five minutes?” I asked holding up five fingers. He nodded and plopped on the couch again.

I disappeared into my room and finished packing my bag. I looked sadly around the bedroom and then the rest of the apartment. This had been mine and Dev’s home for so long now. I hated to leave but Rajas Kapur had given me no choice and Siva Kapur had just saved me from being homeless.

“Ready?” asked Siva, standing.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m ready,” I added reluctantly.

Siva saw my face and said, “I’m sorry,” before he opened the door.
I looked around sadly once more while Siva waited. I walked into the hallway and he closed the door. I flinched when I heard the door click.

I followed Siva out of the building and expected to see a taxi waiting but instead he unlocked a sleek black Porsche Cayenne. He put my bags in the trunk and I climbed in the passenger side. Siva pulled expertly into the London traffic. I hated to admit that I was surprised. Most Londoners didn’t drive. They either walked or took a taxi. Dev had never driven anywhere. In fact, he didn’t even have a license.

“You really don’t have to do this. You’re being far too kind to me. But I want you to know that I do appreciate it. If it weren’t for your offer I’d be booking a plane ride home as a failure,” I said to Siva.

His lips quirked in a smile.
“Sloane, you could never be a failure. As for kindness…” His violet eyes darkened and seared holes into my gold colored ones. “Get one thing straight. I am not a kind man. I’m a bad man. Just ask my pathetic father. Everything I do, I do for me,” he said and sat back against the leather seat.

Alrighty then, I thought to myself.

Moody man
.

The silence stretched on endlessly. Finally Siva said, “I’m sorry. I just-,” he paused at a loss for words. He tugged on his navy slacks and then ran his hands through his slick black hair. “I like you… But I’m not good for you,” he whispered.

I stared at him with hurt in my eyes.
He pulled into the garage of a sleek apartment building in the financial district.

“More like I’m not good
enough
,” I hissed under my breath.

Siva looked over at me with a pained expression. “That’s not what I meant.”

He parked the car and grabbed my suitcase from the trunk. I snatched it from his hands, “I’ll take that.”

He looked pissed but I didn’t waste my time feeling bad. Siva went around me and strode angrily to the elevator. I sighed and pulled my suitcase along behind me. Siva smashed the side
of his fist against a button and the elevator soared upstairs. It finally stopped and I assumed we were on the top level.

Figures.

Siva walked down the hallway, not bothering to look and see if I was following. I yanked my suitcase off the elevator and fell into the wall with the movement.

Siva stood in front of a door and shoved it open. I had a feeling he was beginning to regret his decision to let me live here.

Served him right.

He held the door open for me. I entered and expected the typical, barren, bachelor pad to greet me. Instead everything was rich and sumptuous.

The floors were marble and the walls were painted gold. A dark round table sat in the center with a vase full of flowers on top. A large chandelier dangled above the flowers making the room look like you were inside a jewelry box. A jewelry box the Queen owned, maybe.

I looked sadly over at Siva. “I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible. I’ll stay in my room too so that you won’t have to see me,” I said softly.

Siva looked at me with a hurt expression. “That’s not necessary but if that’s how you feel,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“It is,” I said.

“I have work to do. Feel free to look around. Your room is upstairs and to the right,” he said and disappeared through the archway.

T
hat went well.

I sighed and rolled my suitcase behind me. I left it by the stairs while I explored. The stairs over looked a lavishly decorated living room.

I was sure the living room was used for nothing but show. I’d be afraid to sit on the couch. The couches looked like they cost more than a car. They were solid white and set in an L shape in front of a fireplace. Despite it being spring a small fire crackled. It instantly calmed me. In the corner behind the couches was a large grand piano. It was beautiful and elegant and I instantly wondered if anyone ever played it. Siva didn’t strike me as a piano player so it was probably more for show. I noticed an expensive rug covering the dark hard wood floors and a coffee table that Dev would have had a coronary if someone got a ring on it.

Dev. This was the first time I had thought of Dev since Siva showed up at my door. I am such a bad person.

I pushed those thoughts away and took in the rest of the room. Another chandelier hung from the ceiling in this room. This one was even larger and even more elaborate. The walls were some kind of rich brown wallpaper but I couldn’t make out the pattern. Directly across from me was the staircase leading upstairs. A hallway extended to my left and my right with many doors along each hallway. Immediately to my left, next to the living room, was a very formal dining room. The table was hefty looking and black. The chairs were white and elegant. Yet another chandelier hung above this table. This one though, looked more like a sculpture, than a light.

I also saw that different paintings covered all the walls. Obviously, Siva appreciated art.

I sighed and headed for the kitchen which was directly at one end of the hallway.

Everything was top of the line in the kitchen and I was sure he never used it.

It was fairly large with beige tiled floors, cherry cabinets, and dark granite counter tops. It looked like a rich man’s kitchen.
Masculine and never used.
The stainless steel fridge looked like it had never been opened but that couldn’t be true. Than man did have to eat. An island with four bar stools dominated the kitchen. A large window looked down onto the bustling streets of the financial district.

I left the kitchen and opened a door. It was nothing but storage. Behind the next door I found a powder room. I continued past the dining room and living room and down the hallway, opening doors as I came to them.

I found a closet, a full bath,
guestroom,
a library, and finally I came to the family room. Across from the family room I found what had to be a game room. There were Xbox’s, PlayStations, pinball machines,
Pacman
, and a large pool table dominated the middle of the room. I laughed to myself. I had a hard time picturing Siva playing any of these. There was one door left, directly in front of me at the end of the hallway. I didn’t bother opening this one. I could hear Siva yelling at whoever he was on the phone with so I knew it had to be his office. I didn’t need a visual.

Having explored
the entirety of the downstairs I headed for the upstairs. I dragged my suitcase up behind me. A window on the landing looked out onto a couple of stores. Men in business suits and brief cases in hand yelled into cellphones as they strode down the street. I shook my head and continued up the steps.

To my left I saw a door and assumed that it must be to Siva’s room, but I didn’t want to appear nosy so I ignored and continued down the right hall where he said I would find my room. I opened the only door and my jaw dropped.

Holy cannoli. I think my jaw actually dropped.

The walls were a lavender gray color. The bed was antique white and had a romantic flare to it. One end table beside the bed was round and the other was square. A round ottoman done in a pale purple fabric sat in front of the bed. There was a matching armoire, dresser, desk, and vanity. Two white, comfy looking chairs, framed the large window. The room was obviously feminine but not in a girly way.

A flare of jealousy bubbled in my chest. Why did Siva have this room?

I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands.

What have you gotten yourself into, Sloane?

The answer was, I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Chapter Two

Eventually, I pulled myself together again. I unpacked my suitcase and filled the dresser and armoire with my meager belongings.

On further exploration of my room I found a large walk in closet and an attached bathroom. The bathroom was
large,
the size of most bedrooms, and everything in it was white. The floors, the cabinets, the towels, everything was a pristine white. It had a separate glass shower and a bathtub the size of a small swimming pool.

I sighed. I could get spoiled to this kind of luxury.

There was double sink with sleek chrome fixtures with large glass bowls. I splashed some water on my face to refresh me. I leaned against the white marble countertop. What was I doing here? I didn’t belong here. I patted my face dry on the softest towel I had ever felt. I was sure that I didn’t want to know the price tag.

I eased back into the room on my tip toes.

Sloane, what are you doing?

Oh, right. I’m supposed to be here. Everything was so perfect and museum like that I felt like I had to ease around everything. I was scared to sleep on the sheets.

I had packed a few books and magazine’s so I picked one at random.

I was soon lost in another world one where knights in shining armor were real. Although, I was starting to think that Siva might just be that.

A knock on the door pulled me away from the page.

“Yes,” I said hesitantly.

Siva stuck his head in and said, “Join me for dinner?” I hated that my heart skipped a beat.

“Uh- yeah,” I said. I looked down at my jeans and sweater and decided that they were hardly appropriate for a dinner with Siva. He was such a formal guy that I doubted he would appreciate me coming to dinner in jeans. “I’ll be down in a minute,” I said.

“Do not terry long,” said Siva as he closed the door.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I won’t,” I said to the closed door. I figured if I didn’t get down there soon it would only serve to put Siva into a mood.

I rummaged through my suitcase and pulled out a dark
blue
dress that I normally only wore to work. I shucked my jeans and sweater and then draped them over the desk chair. I pulled on the
blue
dress and fluffed my disastrous hair. My hair was long and black but had these weird orange and red highlights that were completely natural and my eyes were a golden honey color. I had high cheekbones and a wide mouth with pouty lips that I hated. I didn’t know why people found that collagen induced pout so appealing. My lips were completely natural and I hated them. My nose was small and narrow but unfortunately shaped like a button.

Sloane, pick up the pace. He’s waiting.

My heart did a little pitter patter.

Not again, Sloane. You are a bad girl. You can’t go falling for your dead boyfriend’s brother. Plus, he’s way out of your league.

I smeared on some pale pink gloss and decided that I couldn’t dawdle any more.

I made my way out of the room, down the stairs and to the dining room. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breath before I plunged head on into the unknown.

“You’re late,” said a rough voice from beside me startling me. I grabbed my chest and tried to slow my breathing.

“You startled me,” I gasped.

Siva grinned wickedly. “I’m a scary guy,” he said.

“You wish,” I said rolling my eyes.

He narrowed his violet ones at me. “I am,” he said and his jaw clenched. He waved his arm motioning me into the dining room. I started forward and suddenly his large,
warm, hand was cupping my waist
. I jumped as electric currents ran up my body.

Siva grinned rakishly at me.

He pulled out one of the elegant white chairs that looked better suited for an early King of France. The walls were painted in gold and cream stripes making the ceiling look even taller.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

He pulled out the
chair across from me
. He still wore his navy slacks but he had ditched the jacket. The pale blue shirt looked stunning against his caramel skin. He had unbuttoned the
first few buttons exposing a smooth chest and a light smattering of dark chest hair. I tore my eyes away as color flooded my cheeks. This man would be the end of me.

I stared at the plate in front of me.
Steak, baked potato, spinach, and asparagus.

“Wine?” asked Siva.

“Uh, no thank you,” I said and timidly avoided his intense gaze. “I don’t drink.”

“Really?” he asked and grinned.

Moody
, screamed my conscious at me.

Shut up, I told it.

“Maybe you’ve been drinking the wrong kind,” he said but poured me a glass of water instead.

“Maybe,” I murmured. I was at a loss of words when it came to Siva. I knew he was way out of my league and I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and it seemed like I did every time I opened my mouth.

“Eat,” he commanded and I picked up my knife and fork. He was beyond intimidating. He waited for me to cut a bite of steak and taste it.
“I promise it’s not poisoned.”

I chewed and then smiled at him. “Delicious,” I said.

He grinned. “Good, I’m glad you like it,” he said in that charming British accent.

I gave him a small smile and then he began eating his own meal.

A he took a couple bites, sipped his red wine, and then said, “I never had a chance to apologize for what my father did to you.”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked anywhere but at him. “You don’t need to apologize. You’re not the one that kicked me out.”

He leaned towards me and my eyes drifted to my plate.

“You’re intimidated by me,” he said.

I looked up to meet his violet
eyed
stare. I noticed for the first time a small scar just above his lip.

I took a sip of water and nodded.

“Don’t be,” he said. “I want you to be comfortable here.”

“That won’t be easy,” I said and took a bite of steak.

“Why the bloody hell not?” he asked and the venom in his voice shocked me so that I sat back and a startled gasp escaped my lips. Stupid moody man! One minute he’s telling me he wants me to be comfortable the next he’s looking at me like he wants to hit me in the head with a frying pan.

I put my fork down and fingered the soft white linen napkin in my hands. I waved my hand around. “Siva, I didn’t grow up knowing luxury. This- this is a lot to take in. And then you and my-,” I stopped myself before I could express the feelings I possessed for him.

Dev hasn’t even been dead a week and you’re already picturing yourself living happily ever after with his brother. Tsk, tsk, Sloane.

“It’s just-,” I said and swallowed, “Dev has only been gone a little over a week.” I looked up at him through my lashes. “I just wonder if I’m doing the right thing.”

Siva
’s
hands knotted into fists and his jaw clenched.

“I need a cigarette and a scotch,” he said suddenly and disappeared.

I looked at the empty seat in front of me and knew in the pit of my stomach that he wasn’t coming back to finish his dinner.

My appetite disappeared as quickly as Siva had from the table.

Men,
I thought venomously.

I picked up my plate, leaving his behind just in case he returned, and proceeded to the kitchen to clean my plate.

I leaned over the industrial sized stainless steel sink and scrubbed ferociously at the plate in my hands. The water was scalding and the soap smelled like lemons. I flicked my head to the side to get a stray piece of hair out of my way. Satisfied that I had scrubbed the plate until it shimmered like a diamond
,
I put it in the drying rack, wiped my hands on the towel, and headed upstairs. Siva was nowhere to be seen.

Once I reached the guest room I collapsed on the bed. I covered my face with my hands as the tears finally poured out of my eyes.

But the tears weren’t for Dev and that just made me cry harder. Didn’t the man t
hat I had loved for the last three
years deserve my tears and not the one I had just met?

The sobs raked through my chest shaking the bed in the process.

Dev had been my life.
My sun in a dark sky.
He filled an aching void in my life. Dev had consumed my every thought. I wondered if he’d thought of me as often as I thought of him. I had loved Dev with all my heart. I had pictured myself walking down the aisle to him, having his children, and growing old and gray with him by my side as we watched our grandchildren play. Dev was everything I had always wanted and thought I would need. He was smart and kind. He loved kids and spending time with his family even if I did despise his father. Dev always put everyone before himself. That was him. Always worrying about everyone else. I admired that about him. It’s what attracted me to him in the first place. I had always wondered what he saw in
me.
I certainly didn’t see much in myself.

My thoughts circled back around to the fact that I apparently couldn’t shed a tear for the man I loved.

All I wanted was to cry for Devak and instead I was crying because of his idiotic older brother. How was that fair? How did that do our love justice?

It was like some kind of sick joke. I begged and pleaded for tears and when I finally got them they were for the wrong person.

Life’s like that though. You always get what you ask for but never in the way you expect.

Dev had been everything I had hoped for but he was taken from me.

Now fate was pushing me at his moody, arrogant, confusing, older brother.

If I wasn’t crying I would laugh.

My tears continued to stream relentlessly down my face. The tears felt hot against my skin but as they dried they cooled and made me shiver. I wiped at my cheeks and my hands came away wet.

I swallowed thickly and took a deep, ragged, breath. My chest felt too tight.

Suddenly my clothes were too tight, too constricting, I had to get out of this dress now. My skin felt flushed with fire. The fire was licking my wounds setting me ablaze. I stripped out of the dress and flushed when it crossed my mind that the door was wide open and I was far from alone. This was not my house and Siva could walk by at any time.

I slammed the door closed with more force than necessary. The loud bang sounded like a gun shot and it made me flinch. I shook my head and my hair brushed my chest and shoulders making me itch. I squished my eyes closed. Everything was bothering me. I took a deep, steadying, breath and headed for the shower. A hot shower was what I needed. A shower always erased the pain of the day for me, calming and soothing like a lotion.

The water dripped down my shoulders and onto my stiff back muscles. I leaned my head back and let the water cascade over my face. I felt like a kid again standing in a rain storm.

“I’ll weather any storm with you,” Dev’s voice rang strong and clear in my mind.

My knees went weak and I collapsed into a helpless heap on the cold shower tiles.

I clenched my stomach as a strange noise escaped my throat. Tremors shook through my body. I beat my fist against the defenseless tile.

I
laid
down on the cold
wet
tiles, brought my knees to my chest, and cradled my hands under my head.

I didn’t care what happened to me. I hoped the water washed away my feelings, my very being. I was sick of existing. I wanted to fade.

Time became meaningless as the water washed over me. After a time the water went from hot to icy cold. At first it startled me but then my whole body went numb, turning punish, aging before my eyes.

I held one of my hands in front of my face while the other continued to cradle my head. My skin had turned a garish gray color and wrinkles covered my skin. I looked like a corpse.

The water continued to beat down on me and still I did not find it in me to move.

Idly, I recalled the door to the bathroom opening and the surprised gasp.

“Sloane,” said Siva.

“Go… a…way,” I said in my strangled voice. Shivers rocked my body.

My eyes followed Siva as he grabbed a towel from the warmer and opened the glass shower door.

“I- I- I’m fine,” my teeth chattered.

“No, you’re not,” he said and turned the water off. He bent down with the white fluffy towel held in his hands. Even from this distance my skin soaked up the heat coursing from it.

“But- I’m… naked,” I said.

He laughed. “I’m aware of that,” he said and wrapped the warm towel around me.

I sighed
in pleasure at the heat.

Siva pulled me into his arms and cradled me like I was a small child.

Siva pulled out his cellphone. “Dr. Fletcher? I have an emergency. Yes, I am aware of the time.” Siva growled into the phone, “I’ll pay you double! Just get here!”