Hussy (12 page)

Except now she had Zach.

“All this time,” Lindsey went on. “I’ve never gotten pregnant. And I haven’t exactly been careful.”

“
Oh, baby I’m so sorry… ” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap, her back against his chest, rocking her. “It doesn’t matter. I love you.
You.
Do you get that?”

She nodded. She did get it—for the first time, maybe ever. Turning in his arms, she straddled him, up on her knees, to give him a long, tender kiss. She felt him smile against her lips.

“Well the good news is the hospital says I’m clean,” she whispered into his ear. “Not even one STD. You know what that means?”

He chuckled.
“Is that a yes?”

“
Oh yes,” she agreed, wiggling in his lap.

“
Not
that
.” He laughed, pulling her back into bed, covering them both. “
That
can wait.”

“
To what, then?” she teased. “Your romantic proposal?”

“
What else?” He snorted.

She hesitated, biting her lip.
“It’s a definite maybe.”

“
Well then you better sleep on it some more.” He squeezed his arm around her shoulder as she snuggled up and rested her head on his chest. “My alarm’s going to go off in another hour so I can check on you.”

She groaned, rolling her eyes before closing them and drifting almost immediately into the soundest sleep she could ever remember.

Chapter Nine

School wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be,
when she went back a week later, after Zach deemed her “healed”—at least, on the outside—although teachers and students alike remarked on Lindsey’s sudden, subdued nature. She also heard them talking behind her back about the sudden appearance of jeans without holes ripped through in the seat and tops that actually covered her midriff.

They’d gone back to her house briefly to gather some of her clothes and things—she made sure both cars were gone before they chanced it—but after reviewing the wardrobe she’d chosen to throw into the big white garbage bag they carried out to the Camaro, Zach insisted on taking her to the mall to do some shopping. And when she went, out of habit, to look for a tube top to wear to school that first day, she couldn’t even find one in the drawers Zach had cleared for her to use—her new clothes were folded neatly, button-down shirts and crisp new jeans—but all of her old clothes had disappeared.

Zach, of course, feigned innocence, even when she pummeled his back with her fists and pinched his sides, insisting, “You do so know where they are!” He just laughed, shrugged, and gathered her up, still fighting, to kiss her quiet.

So she felt like a complete geek that first day
, and even considered ripping out the seat of her jeans—but the guilt of knowing how much Zach had charged on his credit card for their little shopping trip kept her from actually taking scissors from the office to the bathroom with her to go through with her little plan. She even resisted the temptation to unbutton the bottom of her shirt and tie it up high under her breasts.

Instead, she sat quietly in her seat and pretended she was impervious to the stares and the whispers and the double-takes, even from the teachers. There was only another week left of school, anyway. For Zach, she could endure that long.
That’s what she told herself, and when she walked home every day—his apartment was in easy walking distance from school—letting herself in with the key he’d had made at the local hardware store and even starting dinner before he got home. She knew just from the light, easy way she could breathe, the absence of dread, that it was true.

The only thing looming was Zach’s upcoming deployment, and she tried her best not to think about it. That, and the nightmares, which had started after that first night and had continued at least once a night, since. Sometimes she woke him with her panic and he would hold her, but mostly she trembled beside him in the dark, eyes wide, the sheets wet with her sweat, staring up at the ceiling and remembering while he slept beside her, oblivious. If Zach had known, he would have been angry, of course, and insisted she wake him. But she wouldn’t. If nothing else, she had learned to keep things to herself.

Although, with Zach, that talent was fading—keeping things from him was getting harder and harder. Her emotions seemed to spill over when he was around, no matter what she did. Like when they saw Brian in the Sav-Way while they were grocery shopping.

“
So what do you want for graduation?” Zach asked, taking out the powdered donuts she’d put into the basket and replacing them with a loaf of wheat bread.

Lindsey sighed, eyeing the little chocolate ones instead.
“A diploma.”

“
Don’t even think about it.” He took the donut box from the hand behind her back, putting them back on the shelf. “I meant besides a diploma.”

She followed him down the aisle with a shrug.
“I don’t know. Got another Camaro lying around?”

He snorted, steering the cart around the corner.
“Okay, something bigger than a diploma, but smaller than a Camaro.”

Lindsey didn’t really hear him. Brian was stocking laundry detergent on the end cap, his head down as he moved the inventory from box to shelf. He hadn’t seen her, but she knew he would the minute
he glanced up. Zach steered the cart around him, apologizing, and she told herself to move, to follow, to pretend, but her body was frozen in place. She didn’t know how they’d avoided each other so far—her computer lab was right next to his English class—but they had. Until now.

“
Lindsey?” Zach called her name, and the sound of it brought Brian’s head up like a shot, his eyes wide. Zach’s face scrunched in concern at her expression, but she couldn’t hide it, her gaze dipping down to meet Brian’s startled one.

“
Hi, Brian.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“
Hi.” His response came in almost a whisper, his face paling even more as Zach maneuvered the cart back toward them.

“
Someone you know?” Zach inquired, his smile tight as he glanced down at the kid in the red vest stocking shelves. Lindsey didn’t have any idea what to say.

“
From school.” Brian stood quickly—the top of his head didn’t even come to Zach’s shoulder—and held out a hand to Zach, who shook it. “I’m Brian. Lindsey and I had chem together last year.”

“
Right,” Lindsey agreed with a nod, noting Zach’s preoccupied and calculating expression. She didn’t want to give him that much time to think about it. “See you Monday?”

“
Sure.” Brian kept sneaking looks up at Zach, and he looked more than a little scared. Lindsey wondered if she had a similar look on her face—she felt like she did, and like Brian, she just couldn’t help it. “See ya Monday.”

Lindsey slipped between them and tugged at the front edge of the cart, leading Zach toward the next aisle—frozen foods, including ice cream, the perfect distraction.

“Moose Tracks?” She opened one of the glass doors, the cool blast of air over her too-warm face a relief. She grabbed a quart of ice cream, holding it up for Zach to see. “Please? Pretty please?”

“
That’s Neapolitan.” Zach took it from her, putting it back on the shelf and grabbing a carton with antlers on it. “What was that about?”

“
Must have been having bad flashbacks to elementary school birthday parties,” she joked, tugging on the cart again.

“
Not the ice cream—that kid back there.” Zach’s grip on the cart now made it impossible to move.

She sighed
, giving up the tug of war, and told him part of the truth. “Just a guy I used to hang out with… before.”

“
Hang out?” He raised his eyebrows, already knowing.

She rolled her eyes, taking advantage of the moment to tug the cart again.
“Don’t make me say it, okay?”

He gave in, moving along with the cart.
“You sure that’s all?”

“
Waffles!” Lindsey pulled Eggos out of the freezer with a grin, another distraction.

Zach put them back.
“If you want waffles, I’ll make you
real
waffles.”

“
You promise?”

He nudged her with the cart.
“How about waffles on graduation day?”

“
I have to wait a week for waffles?” She pouted.

“
Sometimes the best things are worth waiting for.”

She didn’t respond to that, but she flushed, accepting the kiss he put on the top of her head as he piled the cart with frozen vegetables and then headed toward the checkout.
Lindsey snuck a pack of gum and a box of Tic-Tacs onto the conveyor belt and Zach didn’t notice until the last second, when the cashier, a blonde with a nose ring, held it up and asked, “Do you want these left out?”

“
Thanks!” Lindsey snagged them, giving Zach a grin before slipping them into her jeans pocket. He shook his head, but forked over his credit card without any reprimand and signed his name in a quick scrawl.

“
Quarter.” She held out her hand as they neared the machines, their fat glass jars revealing all sorts of cheap treasure, their red-painted tops screaming, “Stop here!”

Zach dug into his front jeans pocket, pulling out the required coin.
“Which one this time?”

“
Let’s try fancy jewelry.” Lindsey slid the quarter into the slot and turned the knob, hearing the gears inside click, loving the sound of the little plastic tub hitting the metal door.

“
Wait a minute.” He pressed his hand against hers as she reached for the metal flap, holding it there. “I want to tell you something.”

The look on his face made her heart thud faster.
“What?”

“
I love you.” His eyes softened as he studied her, looking up at him puzzled as carts pushed by, letting in the heat of the summer to compete with the store’s air conditioning with every pneumatic swing. “I don’t care who you’ve been with. I don’t care about anything that happened before. You know that, right?”

She nodded, still not quite believing it could be true, but wanting to—desperately wanting to.

“But I don’t want you to be with anyone else but me anymore, Lindsey.” His mouth tightened for a moment and she knew he was thinking about Brian. God, if he knew the truth… she blinked the thought away, looking up at him. He was serious now. “I’m going to be gone for months, and I want to trust you. I want to know you’re not going to run off to have a fling with some guy, just because you start feeling bad about yourself.”

Her throat tightened and she blinked at him, unable to respond.

“I want you to be mine, baby.” He touched her cheek, rubbing his thumb over her jaw line. “Forever. Can you do that? Will you do that?”

“
Oh Zach.” Her eyes filled with tears. Then he did something more than a little surprising. He sank to one knee on the grocery store tile in front of her. Panicked, she looked around to see who was looking, noting the indulgent smile of a woman with a fat little toddler in her cart as she passed by. Lindsey stage-whispered to him, “What are you doing?”

“
If there’s not a ring in here, I’m going to feel like a real idiot.” He grinned, lifting up the metal flap on the machine. A clear plastic tub with a blue cap dropped into his hand. He popped the top off and pulled out the ring inside—it was, indeed, a ring, quite apropos, with two connected silver hearts squeezed together in the center. “We’re in luck.”

“
Oh my god.” Lindsey grinned back at him and bit her lip as he held it up.

“
Lindsey, will you marry me?”

There was a crowd gathering now—the mother with the toddler had looked back and caught on to what was happening and stopped in the doorway, blocking the exit. Carts were backing up behind her, and they were all watching. Lindsey’s face burned, but tears stung her eyes as she flung her arms around his neck.

“Yes,” she whispered against his ear, trying hard not to cry in the middle of the grocery store. “I’m all yours.”

He grinned up at her, and she couldn’t help laughing at his goofy expression—he knew it was silly, a proposal with a fake ring in the middle of Sav-Way—but Zach’s hand actually shook as he slid the silver ring onto the
appropriate finger, and she knew it wasn’t a joke. Not really. The look in his eyes told her that. He really loved her, he wanted her, and he was willing to claim her.

“
She said yes?” the woman with the toddler called. She was grinning, too.

Lindsey nodded.
“Yes!” she called back as Zach stood and pulled her into his arms, kissing her hard in front of everyone. That’s when they all started cheering, and she laughed through her tears, looking over to see the little girl in the cart, clapping along with everyone else, but looking bewildered. Lindsey knew just how she felt.

There were various congratulations as the line began to move again, and carts filed out of the store. Lindsey didn’t say anything as they got in line and Zach pushed them out to the parking lot and started loading up the trunk.

“My finger’s going to be green in twenty-four hours.” She grinned as she leaned against the side of the car, squeezing the two hearts together to make the ring stay on better.

“
I know.” He laughed. “I promise, I’ll get you a real one when I come home.”

“
I like this one.” Lindsey leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to keep it.”

He stopped loading groceries to put his arms around her and kiss her again, soft this time, but full of something she knew he’d been holding back for a long time, and that sent a familiar feeling tingling through her body as she pressed herself back against him, wanting him, too. He nuzzled her neck, her ear, and whispered,
“I’m going to keep
you
.”

“
Promise?” she teased.

“
Yeah, I do.” He kissed her again in response, deeper this time, longer. She gasped when they parted and he grinned. “So, now what do you want for graduation?”

“
Nothing.” She pressed her cheek against his chest, smiling across the parking lot and watching the young mother load her groceries and toddler into her car. “I have everything I want.”

* * * *

“You’re amazing!”

Lindsey blushed, nudging Zach with her
bare knee as she typed away on his laptop. The phone rang, but Zach had it set to go straight to message. Lindsey frowned when she heard her mother’s voice.