i 75f9a7096d34cea0 (15 page)

Ì know it's the air, but what actually makes the air make the wind?`

Daniel paused for a moment; then on a laugh he said, Ìt's the atmosphere. It's like the clashing of the cold air meeting the warm air.`

`But what ... I mean, but what makes the atmosphere? Where does it come from?`

`Nobody knows that. Well, look up there into that blackness and what do you see? You see a few hundred stars, but there are a few thousand stars, a few million stars. They go on and on into infinity, space.`

Ìn ... finity?`

`Yes, for ever and ever.`

`Well, which part does God take up? I mean in the in ... finity?`

Daniel bowed his head and closed his eyes the while smiling, then peered down on the fair face turned up to him and said, `That question has been asked, I'm sure, billions of times since man crawled the earth, and there's nobody been able to answer it.`

`But the prayer says God in heaven.`

`That's just symbolic.`

`Sym ... bolic?`

`Yes, that's what I said, symbolic. It's just a description, a sort of simplified description to give people a picture--` he paused here, wanting to get his words right, then repeated, `to give people a picture, something which they can hold in their minds of the Creator of the world, so to speak. I don't know the real answer to that, but if I was to say what I actually think I would describe heaven or hell as how we live our lives.`

`But ... but if God made us, Daniel, why did he make some of us bad an' some of us good?`

Òh, I don't think God made 189 some of us bad and some of us good; I think that depends upon ourselves; we can be either bad or good, we have our choice. Anyway, what started all this?`

Ìt's the sky. I'm ... I'm always thinkin' about the sky an' the wind an' the rain. Then, in that history book you showed me last night, there was a mountain that spewed up fire, real ashes and brimstone. Is that hell?`

`No. No, it isn't hell, it's a volcano. I told you.`

`Yes, I know you said it's a vol ... cano, but it's like the description of hell, that ... that priest from Ireland who came to see Mama the other week ... he said to her, I heard him, that if she didn't learn us the faith we'd be damned in hell with fire and brimstone.`

Òh, him. Now, I told you before to take no notice of him ... your mama didn't. And Maggie Ann told him where he could go to, didn't she? As she said--` He now bent and brought his head down to the boy's level and whispered on a laugh, `She sent him off with sparks in his backside, for he'd got at her, too, hadn't he?` He was straightening himself up when the boy suddenly said, `Why is Dada wicked?`

`Sean!` Daniel's voice was stern now. `Your father isn't wicked. Who put that into your head?`

`He doesn't love Mama.`

`How do you know he doesn't love your mama?`

The boy said, Ì hear them. I've got good ears, and Maggie Ann talks.`

`Maggie Ann talks too much, and you shouldn't listen to grown-ups. They talk a language you don't understand yet.`

`Why do you stick up for your father, Daniel, when you don't like him?`

Daniel found his mouth going into a gape, and he could find no words at the moment to answer this boy, this seven-year-old boy who thought in the same way as he himself had done when he was seventeen; in fact, who probed and reasoned more than he himself had ever done at that age. There had always been something strange about Sean, and, of late, he had wondered more than once what was to become of him or, what was more to the point, what would he become?

When thinking of careers for both Patrick 191 and him he could find a number of niches in which Patrick could be placed, in which there would be no call on the little brain and intelligence he possessed.

But he had never been able to find a niche in which to place Sean.

When the boy's voice came to him, saying, Òh, it doesn't matter,ànd he turned from the terrace and went indoors, Daniel felt utterly nonplussed, for it was as if he had been rebuked by an elder for being unable to answer a simple question.

After a moment, he was about to follow the boy when he made out the form of his father striding across the drive, so he stayed where he was in case he should think he was going indoors so as to avoid him.

But when his father came up the steps and saw him standing in the shadow of the doorway, he paused and said, Òh, I want to have a word with you,ànd straight away passed him, went across the hall and down the passage and into the study. And after a moment Daniel followed him.

When he saw his father had taken his seat behind the desk he knew there was something unpleasant about to be said; and he wasn't wrong, because Hector

started with, `Why did you tell Dunlop to leave the dyke field fallow?`

`Because I thought it was time; it's had two crops of potatoes in it.`

Ì don't care if it's had ten: it's my business what crops are sown and where and when. You go too far.`

Daniel said nothing. He knew this wasn't the real issue of the conversation, for it was nearly a week ago now when, talking to Barney, he had said, Ìt's wise, isn't it, to move the potato crop now and again?Ànd Barney had said, `That's what they're sayin' now. There's all new-fangled ideas comin' in. But look at the stints round about; some of them hold nothin' but taties year after year. Still, I think it would be a wise thing to do.Ànd so he had said, `Well, we'll leave it at that.`

He now watched his father pull open a drawer and bring out a file, leaf through it, then stop at a page as if he were reading part of it, before he said, `Six of the herd will go to the market next week.`

`What?`

`You heard what I said. I said, six of the

herd will go to market next week.` 193

`You mean the milkers?`

`What else? What other herd have we? Dromedaries? Elephants? Yes, six of the milkers.`

`You can't do that.` Daniel had taken a step towards the desk. Ì've ... we've just got ... I mean it's just been built up. The main money comes from the milk.`

`Who's running this farm, you or me? I let you take over the market produce and since then you've got big ideas, but--`

`You didn't let me take over the market produce; you were hardly sober for three weeks; you didn't know what you were doing. And I had told you that Bob Shearman was cashing in on the side. But what did you say to that? You hadn't the guts to tackle him; you said, they always got a rake-off, that it was a sort of understood thing among the market men. But Shearman was raking off as much as you were paying him. And when I took the stuff into market myself and blew his little game, you could do nothing but sack him. But you didn't put me in charge of anything. I've had to take on jobs that you were too drunk or too damned lazy to see

to.Às he watched his father's hand go out and his fingers stretch over the glass inkwell, the same one that had found its way almost to Pattie's head, he said quickly, `You try that on with me, Father, and you'll get it straight back; and my aim will be steadier than yours, far steadier. And let me tell you something right now: you send that bunch to market and I walk out. There's nothing to keep me here. And anyway, I'll tell you something else: I want to get married soon; and I can pick up a job in the town tomorrow, Pattie'll see to that.`

Òh, yes, my God! Pattie'll see to everything, that bitch will. Yes; oh yes, that bitch will, even to fix up you marrying Miss Frances Talbot. Well, let me tell you something, Mr Smarty, from what I hear, her dear father doesn't favour your advances towards his daughter, because he has another young dog in his eye for her.`

For a moment Daniel was silent, because his father's words had brought a slight worry to the forefront of his mind. He knew that her father wanted the best for her, but not that he already had someone in his eye.

Anyway, that was village inn talk. If there

had been anyone else after her, Frances 195 herself would have teased him with the fact. So what he said now was, `Well, let me tell you that, marriage or no marriage, I can still walk out of here tomorrow; and where would you be then? On your backside, because you're no more fit to run this place now than one of the old codgers you slurp your beer with in the inn, men you'd turn up your nose at when in your right senses.`

His father banged the file closed, dragged open the desk drawer and threw it in; then said, `Well, I'll give you a choice, Mr Big Head: it's either the cattle or one of the men, and if the latter's the case then Patrick stays off that school and works for his keep. And don't say, "Oh no, you don't", because you started my sons on labouring, didn't you? So now he can do it in earnest, and next year the other one will be ready as well. Take your choice and I'll leave it to you which of the three in the yard has to go.`

Glaring at the man now glaring back at him, Daniel growled, `You think you've got me, don't you, because you know we can't run this place even now on the few men we have. There used to be six in that yard. Anyway, if you're so badly in need of money, why not sell Rustler? He'd bring a good price. You could always ride Tracer or Pru when they weren't in the carts.`

Hector Stewart rose slowly from the chair, and with his hands flat on the desk he leant over it and the words came from deep in his throat as he said, Òne of these days I swear I'll do for you.`

So venomous was the threat that Daniel shuddered under it for a moment, but then, squaring his shoulders he said, `Well, until then, Father, I'll forfeit my wage in order to keep a man on, and whatever you wanted ready money for will have to wait, won't it?`

He was about to turn away when his father said sarcastically, `Well, I'll leave you, son, to tell that to the bank when they want to foreclose because I cannot pay the interest on the mortgage.`

Daniel had nothing to say in reply to this: candidly he hadn't thought about it: his father and he had never talked about the house. Whatever they'd had to say to each other had been about the farm, and then in fighting terms. There should have been good money from the corn crops, with hardly a poppy among them. And then there was the milk. Except for what they

used in the house and that allotted to the 197 workers, the rest all went to the market; there was no cheese or butter made, for unfortunately, from the beginning, Moira had shown no interest in that side of the farm. Arthur Beaney's wife had at one time been dairymaid, but she now had rheumatics in her hands; in fact, in her whole body.

From time to time it had occurred to him that much more money could have been made out of the sidelines of the produce of the farm, and it would not have needed all that much extra labour; say a girl and a young fellow. Besides making cream and butter, the number of poultry could have been doubled and fattened for Christmas. With a little more help at lambing time more could be safely reared, instead of being left to die on the hills. Last spring, six had been lost. And what he had to admit to himself was that even good hands took advantage when there was no-one really holding the reins; things which such hands could see needed to be done were neglected. And really he, himself, was in no position to pull up the men. Nevertheless, he did speak out now and again.

As he made for the door his father yelled at him, Òne day I'll wipe that look off your face, if it's the last thing I do. You've played the man too soon, because at bottom you're still green behind the ears and your nappy's still wet.Ìn the corridor, his jaws clenched, Daniel was brought to a halt by the sight of Sean hurrying towards the hall, and when he reached him he bent over him, saying under his breath, Òne of these days you'll listen too closely and you won't like what you hear. You've got to stop this sneaking round doors.`

Ì wasn't sneaking round doors. I don't need to sneak round doors; I told you, I've got good ears. Mama heard you and she went upstairs, an' she says to tell you she wants a word.`

He gave the boy a slight push before going upstairs. He did not knock on Moira's bedroom door, nor on the one opposite, to which room she sometimes adjourned, but went to the small room that was next to the girls' bedroom, and which Moira called her sewing-room. This was where she now spent a great deal of her time turning and patching for them all.

He tapped on the door, then opened it to see her sitting, her hands idle; and in the shadow of the lamp she looked like a picture he had 199 seen hanging on the staircase of Crawley House School. He couldn't remember the name of the painter, but it was entitled `The Mother`.

She did not move as she said, `What is it this time?Ànd when he told her she said, `Look, Daniel. Let me break into that money, for he could still sell the beasts and you could do nothing to stop him. And, what is more, you are not going to go without a wage in order to keep a man on; if you don't use some of that money for him, use it for yourself.`

`That money will be used neither for him nor for me, Moira. You know as well as I do where most of the money he takes in goes. Let him keep dry for a while, and then he'll be able to meet the interest.`

`Sit down, Daniel.` She swept some clothes from a wooden chair, and he sat down. And now she said quietly, `You know me: I don't take much interest in the farm, never have; my interest has been with the children and the house. But one thing I'm aware of is that the price of corn seems to go down every year.

Oh, I know`--she moved her hand with a halting movement--`the fields have been good.

Anyway, we'll put that on one side for the moment. I have something to tell you.`

He waited, and when he saw her lips move one over the other as if preventing the words from coming out of her mouth, he said, `You're not ill, are you?`

She paused a moment before she answered, `Not ill, not in that way, but I have something in my belly that is growing.`

Òh, no! Moira, no!` He almost added, How could you?

`Don't look so shocked, lad, for no matter what I think or what I might like to do I'm still your father's wife, and from time to time I'm made to recognise it. So there it is.`

`Does ... does he know?`

`Not yet, but I don't suppose it'll be of that much interest when the great news is broken to him.` She stressed the word `great`, then looked down on her hands where they lay one on top of the other on her lap before adding, Ànd now enough of me; I want to talk about you. You'll soon be twenty. I was going to add, "and a fully fledged man," but I think you were knocked into a man from the day you left that school. Now listen. Last