I Am Alive (12 page)

While my eyelids shudder, closing slowly, something blurry, black, tiny as a pebble, fills my vision. As it approaches me it starts to grow.

It has a golden glow to it and it takes no prisoners.

It’s Woo.

Woo is skating on the ice like a professional. How in the name of…?

My eyelids surrender. The muscles in my neck flatten. My head falls on one shoulder.

I hear someone break the glass. I think I can hear him call my name. Maybe I am dying and hallucinating. My eyes are closed between Heaven and Earth…

I feel something soft and gummy touch my lips. It sticks to my sealed lips for a moment, then it parts my lips.

It feels so good.

So good, as if I am blooming like a flower. It feels dreamy. Is that the kiss of death?

Buh-bye world?

Hallucinations?

Air fills my lungs again. I can see the air in my mind’s eye, spreading into every vein in my body. It is blue, the color of the serene sky on summer days.

My eyes flip open.

I am breathing.

It’s not Woo.

I see Leo in front of me with his serious look. He is holding me. We are standing outside of the booth with all the mess around us. He knocks a Bully down, and gets back to me. There is something sticking to my face. I touch it. I am wearing a gas mask. Was this what I felt on my lips?

“I got you a mask from the Bully,” Leo says. “Are you functional? There are four more to kill.”

I have to teach this homeless lion someday that you can never ask a girl a question like:
Are you functional?
What is that supposed to mean? It’s as if I am a robot or something.

I move the mask a little to talk to him. “How can you skate?” I know it is not the right time to ask, but it is never the right time when you’re about to die.

“That’s how fast men can learn.” He bumps me with his fist and winks. It hurts. “Take this.” He hands me a sword. “Don’t say you can’t use it. Think chopping carrots.”

I take it and pull the mask back. It’s amazing when you can breathe. Such a gift.

“Stay here,” he says. “I need to find a mask for myself.”

Most of the survivors are wearing masks. Leo has given his to others.

I suddenly remember Bellona, and the blue tube.

“You don’t need to find a mask,” I yell at Leo. “Follow me.” I skate toward the first blue tube I see. “Just kill anyone who tries to kill me.”

“Wait!” He sounds upset behind me.

I slice a blue tube open with the sword. This one, and that one. I tell everyone I meet to cut the tubes open. It will take a while until the dome is filled with the oxygen from the tubes, but since most of the booths have been damaged, the survivors can breathe right into the blue tubes. I use all my strength to push the Bully off Bellona, then I pull her to an open blue tube and stick her face to it. She is blue and motionless. I don’t know what else to do. I keep giving her oxygen from the tube and hit her lightly on the back.

There is a bloodbath all around me. Survivors keep slicing the blue tubes.

Bellona is breathing again. Coughing repeatedly, but breathing.

We’ll be able to breathe easily in the dome within minutes, once the tubes fill it with Oxygen.

Only one Bully left.

We have to finish him to win the game, before the dome’s floor turns into a big hole of ice-cold water.

Leo terminates the Bully. When Leo kills the last Bully, I notice they have some kind of mechanical bones under their skin. Are they all cyborgs? How do they bleed?

“How is that possible?” I ask Leo.

“Some genetically human-slash-android creation by the Summit,” Leo says. “If I’d known earlier, I would have looked for their batteries and taken them out.”

We hear the horn again.

Timmy announces that the Bloodbath on Ice is over. A whole lot of advertising follows. Four million viewers have watched us survive the Breathing Dome.

“How did you come up with the blue tube idea?” asks Leo.

I give him the look he has been spreading around all day long. “That’s how fast
girls
can think.”

We laugh. We are exhausted. We are back from the dead. Leo, Bellona, and I.

Only eleven of us survived.

After collecting all we can from the dome, we walk to the forest, watching the sun set over The Playa. I have no strength to go looking for Woo at the moment. I wasn't prepared for this. I need to catch my breath.

Leo starts a fire. He is experienced with what he does. Bellona and her friends bring over a set of sleeping bags and other stuff they kept hidden in the unexploded bus. I have to know who those guys really are.

We have water, but we have no food. I wonder how long we can survive without food. Leo found a bag full of ammo with one of the dead Bullies. I guess plan B was to shoot us in the dome. Leo shoots all the nearby cameras. ‘Nuff said.

***

We are sitting in a circle around the fire. There is no food though. All we have is candy bars we found in the pockets of the deceased. We can keep up until tomorrow. Strangely, I am not waiting for the next episode of my favorite series on TV. I don’t care about homework, and I am not speculating about whether I should attend college or not. I don’t worry about how to please my mom, be a good child, make my bed, help the family, avoid sneaky boys, make friends, figure out why I haven’t been invited to some party, mourn over my bad luck, or be bored and think about trying cigarettes or drinking for a change. None of that matters anymore. I wouldn’t care if my mom burst into my room, yelling at me for all the troubles I have caused her and my dad, and how I ruined their relationship. My teachers could send me to detention and call me on my behavior. I wouldn’t care, not a bit. I wouldn’t even acknowledge anything they say. If they want to call me a Bad Kid, so be it. I have a life now. A scary and deadly life. Yes! But at least I get to defend who I am, and who I want to be. No one can control me and decide my future anymore.

Bellona sits next to Leo, showing him her family photos, which she has popped out of her military wallet. I turn away and occupy myself with something else. I am surprised Shoegirl survived the dome. She believes that what happens to us is our destiny, and that it’s for the best interest of the nation. It turns out that Shoegirl’s real name is Pepper.

“So what’s everyone’s story?” I ask.

“We’re all Monsters.” Bellona sharpens the edges of her sword with a rock, now that Leo seems uninterested in her photos. Leo and a photo album? Are you kidding me? “That’s everyone’s story,” she says.

“I am not,” I snap, but I wish I could take it back. Claiming I am not a Bad Kid might sound offensive. Besides, why would I expose myself? Who would believe me?

“Is that what your iAm says?” Pepper is curious. “Because you don’t—”

“Look like one?” I wish I could take this back too. Pepper is the least good-looking, the least educated, and the least enthusiastic. Her skin is covered with some sticky brown stuff, as if she hasn’t washed for years. She has yellow teeth, and her stiff hair looks like a broom’s bristles on top of her head. Plus the ear-to-ear dental bracing she wears. I feel for her in a world where she could be bullied and hurt repeatedly for wearing those.

“You don’t behave like one,” remarks Bellona. “I saw what you did in the Breathing Dome.”

Leo is silent and observant.

“I think most of you don’t behave like Monsters,” Pepper elaborates.

“How about Leo?” Bellona puts a slight smile on her face.

“Leo is a Nine. We all know that,” intercepts Pepper, almost envious, chewing on jelly cola she has found in a dead kid’s pockets. She is not sharing with anyone. “I just don’t know why he is here with us.” She stares at him suspiciously.

We look at Leo. We want to know, but he doesn’t flinch. He isn’t surprised or embarrassed, not showing the slightest need to explain himself. He glances at me for a second though. I am surprised, unable to interpret the meaning of that look.

“He is exhausted,” says Bellona. “Let me tell you about us, the ones you call the skaters.” She addresses Pepper. Six of the eleven survivors are skaters.

“Were you in the army?” asks Pepper.

“Yes,” Bellona confirms. “We were ranked Sixes two years ago. After six months in the military, we found out what horrible things the Summit makes the soldiers do. We invaded cities outside Faya to conquer one more town, and add it to Prophet Xitler’s empire. We were ordered to kill women, children, execute and burn, without the right to ask why. All in the name of the Burning Man. They told us these people were our enemies, and that they threatened the survival of our nation, like Bad Kidz do.” I swallow hard. Did my dad do any of that? “The world outside Faya is mostly wastelands, all sand and dust. Still, there is something precious out there that Xitler is looking for. We just don’t know what.”

“But the world outside isn’t like that,” objects Pepper. “I have seen it on TV. The world is so big. There are countries of different ethnicities on every continent. They watch our games, and pay highly for it. They have technology. Not necessarily like ours, but enough to let them watch the games.”

“That’s the world beyond the oceans,” explains Bellona. “Faya is located in a continent that was once called North America. We occupy the west coast only. The rest of the continent is deserted and has a harsh climate. We’re not allowed out there. It’s called the Wastelands, and they never talk about it. This is where the real rebels are. Sometimes, they’d send us to the Wastelands to find certain people who the Summit are interested in. They seemed to be regular teens. We arrested them. The Summit tested them or something, and then we never heard about them again. Sixes and their families barely make a decent living. If you disobey orders as a soldier, you and your family get punished.” Bellona gazes into nowhere for a moment, as if daydreaming, as if she is seeing an invisible ghost. “We skaters are a faction of soldiers who refused to cooperate. We have decided to oppose and expose the Summit, but we couldn’t find help. Since everyone in Faya’s main concern is getting ranked, no one pays attention to such things. That’s when we heard about the Breakfast Club.”

“You know about them?” Pepper sounds eager.

“What is the Breakfast Club?” I ask.

“The Breakfast Club is the revolution,” says Pepper. “They are our only hope. You could call them the real Bad Kidz. Prophet Xitler and the Summit are afraid of them. It’s rumored they live in the Wastelands.”

“True. That’s why we were ordered to hunt them, and kill them and their families,” says Bellona. “They are led by a great leader who is as young as we are. They’re building an army of youngsters, real Bad Kidz, who want to unlearn the bad ideas and habits of Faya. They talk about things I have never even heard about.”

“Selflessness, fearlessness, hope, abundance, strength, courage, loyalty, honor—” Pepper counts on her fingers. “I know a little about them. My brother was once arrested for downloading the Breakfast Club’s manifesto on his iAm.”

I have underestimated Pepper. She knows a lot.

“Bravery, unity, and belief,” Bellona continues. “There is much more actually. The bottom line is that they believe in a no-rank, no-Monster society. They know that Utopia is a lie.”

“My brother used to say that they don’t live in the Wastelands,” says Pepper. “It’s just a rumor. In fact, it is said that their hideout is so clever, you wouldn’t figure it out.”

“Sounds crazy,” I say. Leo screws up his face at my comment.

“It’s not. They have inspired us to oppose the Summit. To say no to what we don’t believe is right,” says Bellona.

“So were you punished and downgraded to Monsters?” asks Pepper.

“Yes,” says Bellona. She doesn’t seem to regret it in any way.

“You fools,” says Pepper.

Bellona chuckles. “What’s with you, girlie? You sounded like you liked the idea seconds ago.”

“I do, but I don’t like it when someone does something brave, and finds out it was only foolish. Either you have a real solution, or you stick to the system.”

“We are no fools,” says Bellona. “Although we know we’ll probably die in here, a soldier dies with honor, standing, not on her knees, never ashamed, as long as she stands for what she believes is right. We know the Summit is an evil dictatorship. We believe that repeated actions of oppositions and uprisings will lead to salvation. Honestly, you don’t know how good it feels being here.” Bellona exchanges serene looks with the other skaters. “We will give ’em hell.”

“That’s exactly why they call every sixteen-year-old under the rank of Five a Bad Kid,” a skater-friend of Bellona explains. “Because if the iAm ranks you low enough to cause trouble, you’re a threat to the Summit. The slightest hint of you being a teen capable of speaking your mind freely endangers the Summit’s existence. The iAm knows how to spot a rebel.”

“Since you Sixes seem to know a lot…” Pepper picks up the jelly she spat out earlier. Yuck. “What’s Generation Z?”

“Good question,” says Bellona. “You know the Old America ended with what we call the Great Disease, right? The Great Disease started as a war, a one-hundred-year-long war between the governments and Generation Z.”

“Generation Z,” the boy follows, “was the last generation of youngsters before the Great Disease. They were born with the latest technologies around. They were smart, effective, and powerful. Most of all, they started opposing governments all over the world, using technologies similar to the iAm to communicate with each other. Generation Z changed everything in terms of taste in music, movies, arts, politics, free thinking, and free knowledge. Generation Z, in every country in the world, continued to be a major threat to the governments who claimed they were practicing something called democracy, which is just another disguise for a totalitarian system like ours.”

"This world we live in is based on Xitler's findings after the world ended,” Bellona catches on. “He found an endless amount of information about the past buried in what was called the Nevada Desert. It seemed as though someone in the Old America wanted to make sure that their history and civilization wasn't just going to vanish from the world, so they photographed, videotaped, and documented it, then buried them in the sand in hopes that someone would find them and restore this history. Xitler studied it and passed what he thought would benefit him in creating a new America, and omitted, forged, and changed what suited his system."