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Jake choked. "Your fucking fault. Had to get rings instead of those curved barbells.

Fucking captive bead rings at that–need Goddamn pliers to get it out–" he stopped when Tor turned to look at him, a broad grin on his face.

"You lied," Tor said gleefully. "You couldn't do it either."

Jake stuck his tongue out at him. "Actually got the pliers out once. Scared the crap out of me." It had, too, he'd nearly had himself talked into it until he realized he needed two sets of pliers and three hands if he didn't want to actually damage his cock. Since then he'd put the matter out of his mind as best he could.

Tor grinned at him for a moment then reached for the thermos and took the cup from Jake's hand. He poured the coffee and said, "Oh, forgot to tell you, Hound called earlier, talked to Elias. Said he and Del were planning a trip in the spring, might stop by."

And hadn't that just been a kick in the pants? Hound showing up a year after he'd left, tall, lanky lover in tow. Male lover, a mechanic. Just…weird. Tor hadn't been surprised, which had raised Jake's suspicions about what Hound and Tor had talked about on the phone so many times, but neither of them made a big deal out of it. Jake and Elias though, they'd hauled Hound up to the barn so fast Del looked worried, and proceeded to grill him six ways from Sunday until Hound had pretty much declared undying love for the man and started to describe things that made Elias run and Jake blush.

"You're just full of surprises tonight, aren't you?" Jake said. He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and settled back. "He's doing okay? Del's still all he's supposed to be?"

Tor nodded. "Guess so. They've been together, what? More than two years now. Still fixing cars, still talking like they're the first two people on the planet to find each other."

Tor set the coffee on the floor. "I think it's good. Boy needs someone. Did when he left, anyway. Just glad he found someone like Del."

"What do you mean?" Jake asked curiously, shifting again on the bale. Damn uncomfortable things for sitting on all night, but he was still bone weary.

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"He was hurting when he left. Took someone like Del–fun, but solid, hard working, easygoing–to make him whole. Or maybe it was the name change. Swear, if I ever call him Kevin he'll pass out from shock. Just can't do it. Hell, I can't even remember to answer when someone calls me by my real name, how am I supposed to remember his?"

"Mmm." Not much to say to that. Jake closed his eyes and pulled the blanket tighter.

"Yeah, Del's a good man. Tell me when it's time to walk River, will ya?"

"Sure," Tor said, his voice coming from far away.

When Tor nudged him Jake came awake quickly, but not so fast that he could move before taking note of where he was. Barn, that was easy. Tor. Leaning against Tor, fucking curled up against him, with a strong arm around his shoulders, keeping him steady as he slept.

He sat up slowly and gathered himself together before glancing at his…what? Former lover? Ex? Friend? God, he was tired. Too tired to sort that out. "Sorry," he said. "For–"

"Don't worry about it," Tor said easily, meeting his eye. "You were out of it. I walked River, then sort of propped you up, is all."

Jake decided to take that at face value. "Thanks."

He folded the blanket and went to get River out of his stall.

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Chapter Forty-one

It was a mild day for early November, so warm that there was a nice pick up game of touch football going on in the yard. Jake leaned back in his chair, watching Tor, Kip and Kirk get the crap trounced out of them by Elias, Tommy and Bobby. He smiled. It had been awhile since things had been easy and light around there.

Jake winced as Elias tripped on something–possibly Tor's foot–and landed heavily on Kip. He groaned out loud when Kirk fell on top of them, making for a very squished Kip.

With a great deal of teasing and laughter the others untangled the three, Tor protesting his innocence loudly to everyone; it didn't look like anyone believed him.

Once they got Kip off the ground and standing up no one was really surprised to see him check his watch and make his excuses, As a matter of fact, Jake could see money changing hands as bets were won and lost. Bobby spent a certain amount of time explaining that the occasional afternoon away from his wife and son could be a good thing, but Kip just smiled and headed home, saying Beth was expecting him.

"Come on, Jake, you're in. We need another man," Kirk called.

"You've got to be kidding," Jake grinned at him. "Y'all are losing. Why would I join in now?"

Tor sputtered at him, his eyes teasing. "You're fresh, sitting on your butt all day. Got energy we need to win this thing, unless you're worried that the young uns will put you to shame and wear out your tired, old–"

Jake was on his feet before the insult could be finished. "Show you 'old'," he said, joining them on the lawn.

Forty minutes later Jake was willing to concede–privately, of course–that he wasn't as young as he used to be. He'd managed to help them even the score a little, but Elias and Tommy seemed to have near inexhaustible stores of energy, wearing even Kirk out.

"Touch football, my ass," Tor groaned from the bottom of a pile. "Christ, this is more like rugby."

"Getting old, Tor?" Jake asked easily, offering him a hand up. "Feeling all of your thirty–seven years?"

Tor scowled and tried to smack him on the ass, Jake stepping away with a chuckle.

"Least I'm not forty," he declared.

Jake grinned. "I'm not either. You never could remember my birthday."

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Tor rolled his eyes, not really able to deny that particular jibe. "Still," he said as he eyed the others, "can last longer than you. Say, another half hour?"

Jake was about to accept the challenge when Elias and Bobby both rolled their eyes and walked away, saying they were done, finished and leaving before egos got to the point where certain cowboys would need CPR.

"They mean us?" Tor asked innocently.

"I think they're sayin' we're a little competitive," Jake said, sitting on the grass. "I'm not, though. You are."

"Bet you I'm not as competitive as you," Tor said with a grin, stretching out next to him.

"Idiot."

"Asshole."

"Twerp."

"Dork."

At which point Tommy and Kirk fled.

Jake sat in the sun and laughed, feeling better than he had in ages. Sun, football, jokes…it was nice. Really nice. He was just laying back on the grass to look at the clouds when it suddenly occurred to him that he was horny.

Really horny.

He'd just spent a portion of the day rolling in the dirt with men–he ignored the part of his brain that was screaming 'with Tor' at him–and he'd had a few laughs, had fun…and now all he wanted was to get off. Now.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said abruptly, rolling over and getting up.

"Taggart? You okay?" Fuck, but Tor sounded all concerned now, and Jake *really* didn't want him thinking he'd done anything wrong. Not when they'd finally gotten to the point where they could be pleasant to one another.

"Nothing wrong," he said, standing still, but not facing him. "Just going to take a shower."

"Oh. Okay." Tor sounded even more hurt now, and Jake sighed.

He sat back down and looked at the bunkhouse. "Really. Nothing wrong. Just…hell.

What were we just doing?"

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"Uh, playing ball?"

"Yeah. Playing ball. Having fun. And that's all well and good, but now I've got something I have to go take care of." Jake knew he was blushing and hated every single bit of blood in his body. What wasn't going to his face was headed south rapidly and he really wanted not to be having this conversation. Tor looked at him, a picture of confusion mixed with a bit of hurt still.

"Tor, so help me God, if I have to actually say this out loud I'll have to kill you, got that?"

Tor blinked and gave him a slow once over, then bit his lip. "Oh. Oh, man, sorry. Got it.

Off you go, then." And there was the matching blush.

"Let us never speak of this."

"Agreed."

Jake didn't even make it to the shower, stripping down and falling onto his bed, hips and hands already working. He told himself that it was so intense because it was the first time since the dance that he'd brought himself off with anything more than just a mechanical need. But he couldn't lie to himself about the images he came to, the name he called.

~*~*~

"There's nothing on," Kirk said, tossing the remote onto the coffee table. "Why is there nothing on?"

Tor snorted. "'Cause it's the middle of December, you twit. Nothing good on until the middle of January now. Don't tell me you're sick of the Christmas specials already?"

Kirk just nodded morosely. "How the hell am I supposed to relax after a hard day when there isn't anything good on TV?"

"Read a book," Jake said.

"Bug Taggart," Tor offered, earning himself a stiff finger.

Elias was quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful. "Or. Or, or, or, or. Jake, might be time to introduce the pup to the way we used to relax around here. Back in the day."

Jake caught Tor's eyes and saw comprehension flickering. Elias looked hopeful. Kirk looked terrified, his glance going from Tor to Jake and back again.

"Oh, relax. Nothing kinky–Elias likes it." Jake didn't intend to sound reassuring. He looked at the other two and raised an eyebrow. "You think he's ready?"

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Elias shrugged. "Never know 'til you try. Hound wasn't much older than him when he started. Kip…well, Kip never really took to it. Not like the rest of us."

Tor grinned. "Kip just didn't get the novelty of it. Needed to relax." He threw Jake a look and said, "Go get the gear, Taggart. The big ones, I think."

Jake stood up and rubbed at his wrists no reason other than to see Kirk's eyes get wide.

"Three or four?"

"Four. It's early." Tor stood up and started pushing the furniture out of the way.

Jake nodded and went to his room, straight to the closet. Choosing a selection was made easier by the 'big ones' request, so he grabbed four boxes and raced back out to the living room, already predicting the fights.

"Oh, yes! Gimme the Harry Potter one!" Tor thought Snape was cool.

"No fucking way. Mine. You can have the space station–"

"I always get the space station!"

Jake sighed and handed the box to Elias. "Fine. Elias gets the space station, Kirk gets the fleet of shuttles, and you can have the Mars colony. I get Snape."

"Cool."

Jake, Tor and Elias dumped the boxes out on the floor, carefully keeping the pieces from getting mixed up. Kirk, the little shit, didn't even blink, just started building. Tor gave him a thoughtful look, but didn't say anything.

Five minutes later there still hadn't been any comment from Kirk, who was busily looking through his pile of blocks for something.

"Who told you?" Elias asked, sounding very put out.

Kirk looked up, surprise clear on his face. "No one," he said. Then he looked at Jake and grinned, pointing to Snape's Potions Lab. "I have part of the Diagon Alley set. Oh, and I've got a bunch of stuff from when I was a kid–mostly castles and cowboys. Fucking love Lego."

Jake laughed, watching Tor's eyes narrow. Before Tor could try to get his hands on Kirk's Lego Jake pointed to Tor and said, "Watch him–he likes to mix up the pieces."

Kirk frowned at Tor. "That just ain't right, Tor. Lose stuff that way."

Tor looked thoroughly exasperated. "I give up."

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~*~*~

It was suppertime on New Year's Eve when Jake got back to the ranch, out of sorts and tired from driving. Cath had made it to 'Lissa's for Christmas after all, which was good.

He'd come back on the twenty–seventh for a couple of days, and headed out again on the thirtieth to find Cath and Jacob in the grips of a very disgusting bout of the flu. 'Lissa had been really sweet about it, pointing out that if he stuck around he'd probably catch it too, so here he was. Home.

Alone for New Year's Eve, which was probably not a bad thing. Kirk and Elias had planned to head into town for the night, and Jake didn't see Kirk's car around so he assumed their plans were going according to schedule. He planned to grab something to eat, go up and feed the horses, then settle in to watch some TV. Nice and quiet night, no one to bug him.

And it wasn't as if the past year had been a good one; no need to have anyone around to watch him wallow in a little self-pity, either. No, the more he thought about it the more he figured this was going to be just right. Suiting, in fact.

What he wasn't prepared for in the slightest was Tor in the kitchen dumping half a bottle of red wine into a saucepan on the stove, looking at him like he was an unwelcome intruder. Then Tor's eyes cleared, fast enough that Jake wondered if he'd imagined it, and said, "Shit, I just fucked up the spaghetti for you, didn't I?"

Jake shook his head, hauling his bag in the door. "Not really. Let it simmer for a bit and the alcohol will evaporate out. What are you doing here?"

Tor stirred the pot and made a face. "Susie and Momma both started puking. I ran. Becky said I was useless as a nursemaid and getting underfoot." Tor glanced at him. "You?"

"Same, 'cept it was Jacob and Cath, and 'Lissa said she didn't want me getting sick."

"She's just nicer than my sister, is all. You were useless like me, and getting in the way."

The jibe was light, Tor teasing him with his tone.

"Fuck off," Jake returned in kind. "Feed the horses yet?"

"Nope. You've got time before supper if you go now."

Jake went up to the barn trying to rework his plans for the evening. Spending the night alone in the house with Tor was about as far away from alone and wallowing that he could get, and he wasn't really pleased about it. The past year was looming over him, hurting and angry, ready to crash over him, and there was Tor, making supper and being…nice.