I Can See for Miles (4 page)

“While I’m eternally grateful that you’d be willing to look past my shortcomings and take me on,” Charlie ground out silkily, “what makes you think that
you’d
be pretty enough for
me
?”

“Have you seen me?” Josh snorted and shook his head in mock disbelief, his tone incredulous. “I am
smokin
’ hot, man. Come on, admit it. You like what you see.”

“I’m sorry, man. It’s real hard to see past your ego.” Charlie barked out a laugh, and Josh clasped his hand to his chest and reached out to grab Sharon as if he had been shot to the heart.

“Dude, that hurts,” Josh said, mock affronted. “But, see, you’ve really gone and done it now.”

“Done what?” Charlie asked. “I was just walking by, minding my own business, before I was made to parade like best in show.”

“The thing is, I really want that family recipe, and I never back away from a challenge.” Josh huffed out a self-deprecating laugh and held his hands out, palm up. “Hell, that’s what put me in the dark in the first place.”

“And what exactly is the challenge, Josh?”

Removing his sunglasses, Josh kept his gaze in the direction of Charlie’s smooth, velvety voice and a slow smile spread across his lips before he answered, lowering his tone suggestively. “Why,
you
are, Mr. Cooper… you are.”

Josh heard Sharon’s intake of breath and Bill’s loud guffaw, but Charlie remained silent for a few moments before saying, with a cold, hard edge to his voice, “Sorry, Mr. Donald, but that is one challenge that will definitely leave you in the dark.”

Listening to Charlie’s footsteps tapping out a hasty retreat, Josh’s lips lifted in amusement. “Interesting,” he said as Sharon slid a warm hand through his arm. “Did you hear that, Sharon?”

“Hear what, sweetie?”

“I think he just double-dared me.”

Chapter Four

M
ARIO
unlocked the door to their cabin, and Greg and Josh walked past him, Greg’s hand cupping Josh’s elbow. Josh heard the jangle of the keys as Mario dropped them onto the table inside the door and rolled his eyes at the sound of Mario’s dramatic yawn.

“So….” Mario drew out the single syllable.

“Not a word,” Josh said, firmly, holding up his hand as he felt behind him for the arm of the couch and sank down onto the cushions. He had a headache, and he was dog-tired. They’d been on the road since seven that morning, and it was almost midnight.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Mario replied, albeit not very convincingly.

“Sure you weren’t,” Josh replied, sarcasm dripping from the words. “Your lips have been dying to flap since we left the barbecue.”

“Josh,” Greg said softly. “We’re glad you like Charlie.”

“Who said I like him?” Josh questioned, his cheeks filling with warmth as he ran a hand through his hair. He winced as his fingers caught in the unruly mass and made a mental note to wash it in the morning.

“You don’t?” Greg’s tone was incredulous. “That’s not what it looked like from where we were standing.”

“I was just kidding around,” Josh retorted, the response sounding pathetically lame, even to his own ears. The following silence was deafening, and he only managed to stand it for a few moments before blurting out, “Stop fucking looking at me! I know as much as you do, okay? I just… just….” He sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across his eyes.

“Just what, baby?” Mario asked, the sofa cushion beside Josh sinking as his friend sat down next to him.

“His voice… it’s just… so… so— Oh, I don’t fucking know.” Josh leaned his head in Mario’s direction and cast him a grateful glance when his friend took the hint and shuffled along the couch so Josh could put his head in Mario’s lap. “When Alec….” He hesitated, relaxing against Mario’s thighs when he felt warm, comforting fingers card through his hair. “When he left me… when he decided he couldn’t handle it… I thought that would be it for me. I was damaged goods, you know, so I guess I closed that side of me off. But, man, the moment I heard that voice… it was like I’d been in a deep sleep and I was finally waking up.” He choked out a laugh at the romanticism of his turn of phrase. “I really gotta stop listening to Oprah’s book club before my balls drop off completely. But do you know what I mean? Does that make any sense at all?”

Josh heard Greg’s musical laugh and then his feet were being lifted and put down on Greg’s lap as he joined them on the sofa. “It makes perfect sense, babe. But you’ve
never
been damaged goods. The way you’ve handled the last eight months have filled us with a pride and awe that we could never put into words. You are the strongest and bravest person I know, Josh, and I think that’s what Alec couldn’t handle. He knew he would never be able to cope as well as you.”

Josh smiled, the warmth of his friend’s words covering him like a blanket. “It’s a good thing you don’t let Mario handle the deep and meaningful speeches.” He rubbed his cheek against the denim of Mario’s jeans. “What would you have said, Tavella?”

“I dunno, something earth-shattering like, ‘Charlie’s real pretty’.” Mario’s fingers continued to card through Josh’s hair.

Joining in with the other men’s laughter, Josh closed his eyes and smiled softly. “Yeah, he is,
real
pretty.” Putting his hand against Mario’s knee and swinging his feet off Greg’s lap, he pushed himself up and stretched tiredly. “I’m gonna hit the hay. Need to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for when I make a fool of myself by falling off a horse tomorrow.”

“Do you need a hand?” Mario asked, gripping Josh’s elbow.

Josh slapped Mario’s hand away gently and shook his head. “I keep telling you, dude. You’re not my type.”

“Pfft,” was Mario’s eloquent response, and he thumped Josh playfully on the arm. “G’night, man.”

“Night, guys.” Josh counted the fifteen steps until he reached his bedroom door, his fingers skimming over the table against the wall. He had already done several walk-throughs of the cabin earlier today and knew exactly where his room was. Turning the handle, he looked back over his shoulder, suddenly serious. “I just want you both to know that I couldn’t have made it through any of these last eight months without you. I know there were times when I was a complete bastard, but when all the others petered out and faded into the background, you kept coming back. If I’m strong, it’s because you were there to hold me up, and if I’m brave, it’s because you taught me how to be.” He turned quickly, feeling the emotion of the moment stinging behind his eyes, knowing from the hitch in Mario’s breathing that he was having the same difficulty, and closed his bedroom door behind him.

Counting in his head, he walked toward the bureau and opened the top drawer. Underwear to the left, sleep pants in the middle, and T-shirts on the right. He took out some sleep pants and a top. At home, he just slept in boxers, but although the day had been warm, the night air had become cool, and he would be glad of the extra layers. He quickly set about his nightly ablutions, flushing the toilet when he was finished, then washing his hands and his face, and brushing his teeth. Feeling around on the countertop beside the sink, his fingers found his brush, and he dragged it through his hair, wincing as the teeth caught in knots the breeze had created. Settling himself between the cool sheets, Josh shuffled around on the pillow until he found the most comfortable spot and sighed heavily, closing his eyes.

Of their own volition, Josh’s fingers found their way to his lips, as they had Charlie’s. He’d have had to be dead, not just blind, to have missed the tremor that shook Charlie when Josh had traced the curve of his mouth. Josh’s body had answered with one of its own. Not for the first time since the accident, Josh fell asleep wishing he could see—wishing he could see just how green those eyes were.

“Y
OU
okay?” Greg’s voice was soft in the darkness of their bedroom. He snuggled in closer against Mario’s side and slid his arm across the other man’s waist. “You’re thinking… I can hear you.”

Mario chuckled and lifted Greg’s chin with his forefinger, capturing his boyfriend’s lips in a thorough kiss. “Nothing gets past you does it, Watts?”

“Not when I’ve been listening to the cogs turning in that melon of yours for as long as I have. So… spill. Why are you worried about him?”

“Jesus,” Mario hissed. “Get out of my head… it freaks me out.” He sighed heavily, his fingers tracing a familiar path up and down Greg’s arm. “Did you see him working the crowd today? He had Sharon eating out of his hand, charmed the socks off Katie and Greta and little Rosie obviously thinks he’s God himself. Not to mention this thing with Charlie.” He took a few moments to gather his thoughts, knowing Greg would give him as long as he needed. Mario wasn’t comfortable with expressing his feelings in front of others, but with Greg he’d never had to pretend, even from the very start.

“They don’t know it’s all an act. One big show to stop them from seeing the frightened little kid peeking out from behind the curtains, and that’s what worries me. He’s so vulnerable, Greg. Josh’s got the best heart of anyone I ever met, but it’s also his worst enemy. When that bastard left, I saw a light go out in him and heard the shutters come down. I’ve watched him push people away, hell, drive some of them away, because he was afraid to show them the real Josh. But I gotta tell ya, baby. When I saw him tonight with Charlie, for the first time I felt hope… real hope that he had finally made a connection with someone who wasn’t us. A
real
connection with someone who knows what it’s like to have everything taken away from you. Someone who could make him realize that he’s no less the Josh he’s always been, that he only lost his sight, not himself.”

Greg sat up and lifted a leg over Mario’s, straddling his thighs. Placing a hand on either side of Mario’s shoulders, he leaned down and slanted his lips across his boyfriend’s and kissed him slowly. When he pulled back, Mario smiled softly at him. “Have you any idea how much I love you?” Greg whispered. “Sometimes I wish I could clone you. Everyone should have a Mario Tavella in their life, because every life you touch is richer for having you in it. I want to thank you.”

“For what?” Mario asked lifting his hand and brushing Greg’s blond hair back from his face.

“For loving me, for loving Josh, for bringing him here… for wanting more for him than he wants for himself… just for being you.”

Mario gazed up at the man who’d been by his side for the last twelve years, Greg’s pale blue eyes shining in the moonlight falling through an opening in the curtains. Josh was right. Greg really was a total sap, but Mario wouldn’t have him any other way. “So,” he said, grinning as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “You wanna
show
me just how much you love me?”

“Oh, I think I can do that,” Greg replied, claiming Mario’s lips again.

T
HE
moon popped out from behind a cloud and cast its eerie glow over the front porch. Charlie pulled his blanket around him a little tighter as the shifting of the clouds brought with it a chilling gust of wind.

All the debris from the barbecue had been cleaned up and dealt with, courtesy of Tom and Mike, and his parents had headed home just over an hour ago. Charlie liked to sit outside on the porch and listen to the sounds of the forest as he wound down from another hectic day at the camp. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed the barbecue; even Sophia had come out of her shell a little and joined in with some of the conversations held around the fire. By the end of the evening, he noticed Adam, one of the younger campers, a little boy of six years old, had decided Sophia was going to be his new best friend whether she liked it or not. Adam had been born blind, and when Charlie heard Adam asking Sophia to explain colors to him, he’d listened for a few moments as she spoke softly to the little boy, who seemed to hang on her every word. He had a feeling the little dark-haired guy was going to be good for her.

Charlie had managed to avoid his mother as much as he could for the rest of the evening. He couldn’t deny his eyes had occasionally drifted toward the sound of Josh’s booming laugh, trying to ignore the way the sound of it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Closing his eyes, he lifted his feet and put them up on the porch swing where he was sitting, letting the momentum of the movement gently rock the seat. Josh certainly had a lot of confidence, but there was a little niggling feeling deep down inside Charlie’s belly that made him think there was a lot more to the big man than met the eye.

Are we going to talk about the touching?

“No,” Charlie hissed to his inner voice, the sound of his own voice startling him, not realizing he’d spoken aloud. He didn’t even want to think about the touching. Didn’t want to think about the stirring the slide of Josh’s long fingers had awoken, the longing to have those fingers on him again.

He’s not Brian.

“How do you know? Just because he’s blind doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole,” Charlie grumbled back.
Great, talking to yourself in the middle of the night. That’s totally balanced.

Are you so afraid of being hurt that you won’t even take a chance on being happy when it’s right there in front of your face?

Sighing heavily, Charlie allowed his mind to drift, his fingers tracing the shape of the scar beneath his hairline. Not even his mother knew the extent of Brian’s abuse. Charlie had been strong enough to leave before the physical stuff had gotten too bad, but the scar on his head wasn’t the only one he bore. The mental scars would take a lot more than a few stitches and a Band-Aid to heal.

Brian had been the chief architect at Gentles & Mitchell, and Charlie had been on his team. Suffice it to say that after one too many late-night meetings, one thing had led to another, and they started dating, had been dating for nearly two years before he’d first noticed something wrong with his eyes. Charlie knew Brian loved him, in his own way, but he had a mean streak a mile wide. There had been little hints of this streak before Charlie’s sight began to fail, jibes and a couple of heated arguments that ended in Brian striking him. But of course there had followed the usual apologies and promises it would never happen again. Like a fool, Charlie believed him.