I Love My Chance (Nicole's Erotic Romance 3) (9 page)

He shakes his
head. “Nicole, don’t. Please stop.”

“Oh my God. I
can’t believe this is how this went tonight” I cover my face with my hands.

“Hey hey hey. I
don’t want you thinking those things! I didn’t shower with her. I swear I
didn’t. None of the things we did… ”

Jess bursts out of
the door. “So, you moved on, quickly,” she spits at Mark.

Mark stares at
her. “Me? You’re already in a relationship!”

I look from one to
the other of them. “This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Mark flips around
and reaches out for me.

I jump back. “No!
Don’t.” He reels back, hurt by the sharpness of my tongue. I turn to her. “I
didn’t know, Jess! This is not a betrayal. It’s not like what happened with
David!” She looks at me, not sure what to believe.

“It’s just so
weird, Nicole. How did you --”

“I met him through
Amber. She was at --”

Mark interrupts us,
getting angry. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here!”

Jess rushes to me.
I hug her. “Promise me you didn’t know,” she whispers in my hair.

I shake my head,
“No! No – ask Amber! Neither of us knew!”

Mark explodes
under the hurt and frustration of being on the outside. He can’t believe what
he’s seeing. This is so far from what he thought would happen tonight, too.
“Wait! Now just wait. This isn’t fair. I didn’t plan this. Do you think I
planned this?”

I pull away from
Jess and stand next to her. “I hadn’t even thought of that, Mark. Why would you
say that?”

Jess mutters,
“People usually say what they’ve done. You can only think it if you’ve done
it.”

He stares at me,
crushed. He looks to Jess. She scowls at him.

“Jessica, don’t
look at me like that. This isn’t fair.
You
dumped
me
! And we barely even know
each other. Why are you acting so jealous?”

Jess announces,
wide-eyed, “We were going to go out Friday night! The night you guys met,
apparently!”

My head jerks to
look at her, stunned.

Mark helplessly
shakes his head, his face falling as he sees where this is going. “Don’t do
that to her, Jess.”

Jess glares at
him. “I’m not doing anything.”

“You didn’t even
answer my email for two days! And then you said… you know what you said.”

I throw up both my
hands. “This is so crazy!” I turn, rushing away as Jess and Mark argue behind
me.

Amber crashes out
of the bar. “Josh has Chris hostage!
 
What’s happening???!! NICO!!!”

This isn’t how
this was supposed to go. I was finally supposed to be happy. I was supposed to
have my friends meet a great man. They’ve met their own great men – why
do I get the shitty luck of meeting someone my best friend got to FIRST? My
heart is pounding and my feet are numb in these boots as I break into a run.

Suddenly, slamming
the pavement behind me, I hear faster, running footsteps gaining on me.
“Nicole! NICOLE!!!” I take off faster but just like in the park, his longer
legs have the advantage. He reaches me, grabs for me, searching my eyes for
hope that isn’t there.

“I need room to
breathe, Mark! I can’t breathe. Please.” I break down crying, tears falling
fast and hard, my chest hurting so much!

He grabs both my
arms. “Nicole! Listen to me. Please. You know what I told you is the truth. The
way I feel about you is so much more than what I felt for her! It doesn’t
matter that it’s Jessica. The facts are still the same. You know this. You felt
it… you
feel
it… too!”

I sob, “It
does
matter that it’s Jessica. I told
you. She’s my family.”

He’s terrified,
like he already knows. “What are you saying?”

It’s so much
harder to say it than it is to think it. A headache rips into my temples. I
reach up and take his face in my hands, look into his eyes, longing for him to
understand. “I’m saying we aren’t going to happen, Mark. Jessica and Amber
– those girls – they’re everything to me! I feel sooooo strongly
for you… I almost think I…”

“Say it,” he
croaks.

But I can’t. I
can’t say it. Instead I close my eyes and shake my head. I lean up and kiss
him. His arms go around me. They hold me so tight. He returns my goodbye kiss
with more passion than we should. We release each other and he looks at me one
last time. My eyes quickly dart down the street where Jess is staring at us,
hurting. Amber is beside her, holding her hand. The sight of them there, and
him here – and the fact that they can never come together – makes
the pain in my soul unbearable.

 
“If I have to choose, I have to choose
her.” With fresh tears blurring my vision, I look at Mark. The warmth that is
always present in his eyes has vanished.

There’s a knot in
his throat. “I understand.” He puts his hand to his forehead, thinking and
trying to gather himself, pick up the pieces and know what to say or do next.
He’s choking back tears. “Um… I’m still going to bring the investors to the
gallery opening, if that’s okay. I would love to work with you on this, if you
think you can. If you don’t, I understand. God, this is so hard.”

I forgot all about
the show, the investors. The idea of seeing him again and not being able to
touch him is horrible. But I can’t say no. I will not turn away his dream. “Of
course. Yes, of course. Maybe…” I strain to finish the sentence. “…maybe that’s
why we were drawn to each other.” I don’t believe a word of it.

His lips twist in
pain. “Don’t. God. Don’t say that.” He holds his hand up and turns, walking
away down the street. I don’t watch him. I trudge back to my girlfriends. Amber
looks so sad. She knows what happened with Michael. She knows how good it was for
me to find a guy like Mark. He helped save her relationship, after all. She
also knows how broken the betrayal of David made Jessica, that there’s no
getting around the fact that the one man who helped start Jessica healing is
the one man I had a two-day bed-bender with.

I meet Jess’s
eyes. She is just as lost as I am.

“Nicole.”

“I know,” I say,
coldly, steeling myself against my pain.

“It’s just too
weird,” she says.

“It’s more than
weird. It’s impossible.” I take a deep breath, shaking my head, my hands going
up to wipe my cheeks. They both come in to hug me. I wrap my arms around them
and hold them tight.

These girls are my
family. They know me better than anyone on the planet. They have my back and I
have theirs. We were not born a family, but we’ve become one, and I will not
give that up. I can’t. And I can’t hurt either of them.

JESSICA

I’m standing
outside, staring at Amber, who’s just said my name in such a way that has
knocked me sideways. Mark and my best friend are way off down the street. And
the world is coming to an end.

When I saw Mark
walking into Angel’s Share, I thought I was seeing things. The next thing I
thought was,
Holy shit, he’s stalking me
.
He’s going to confront me, right here in front of Chris, ask me why I bailed on
him, why I didn’t give him a chance! I had noooooooo idea he was looking at
Nicole. It seemed like his focus was on me. When she said his name at the exact
same time as I did, and Mark looked at me like he was seeing me for the first
time, I was completely flabbergasted. I knew instantly exactly what was going
on. He is the guy she’s been locked up in bed with for the past two days… the
guy she cared enough about to bring him out to meet me and Amber.

Of all the people
on the planet – how could it have been
my
Mark?

I know this is
irrational. I know I’ve found someone else. I also know that Chris is amazing
and that he’s my guy. But Mark did something to me, when we met. Shit, he
didn’t just have sex with me… he changed my life! I mean, there was Mark, saying
you’re beautiful
and giving me
flowers and opening up my world again – after David had closed it by
breaking my fucking heart. I never thought I’d like men again, much less trust
them, and Mark… well… he just can’t be dating Nicole!!! He just can’t. And
there is no way she can date Mark. There is no way I could handle that. Not
this soon! I can’t. I’m sorry,
but I
can’t.
I mean… you’ve got to be kidding me. This is so not happening. When
they went running out of the bar, him following her and not even looking at me
– I felt so angry. Blind fury I didn’t even know I had in me came rushing
out, just like when I thought James was dating my boss, and when I saw him
talking to Brittany… and shit!! I mean really, holy fucking shit – this
is so not fucking happening! And yes, that’s a lot of swear words, but ARE YOU
FUCKING KIDDDING ME?!!

I jumped up and
ran after them. I had to stop it.
As
I yelled at Mark outside, my head spun. All I was thinking was
you can’t take her from me!
Not from
just two days of sex! I’ve known her for years! I will not let my friendship be
torn to shreds by some guy.

She’s mine. She’s
my friend. She’s my family.

You’re great and
all. But you’re just you. Some guy. NOT my family.

And this will tear
us apart.

After Amber came
out and as Nicole ran down the street, I spat at him, “Did you do this to get
back at me?”

Mark was shocked.
“What? No – Amber, tell her. I had no idea you guys were friends. Amber
introduced us and your name ever came up.”

“Oh that’s just
great.”

That’s when Amber
said, “Jessica!” in such a way that it knocked me sideways. She’s so good at
that.

And this is where
I am now.

Mark runs after
Nicole and Amber walks to me, her hands out. “I didn’t know he was
that
guy. You never told me his name!
You just said you’d slept with some guy who was in town for only one night. How
could I know?”

I nod, and wrap my
arms around myself. “What are the odds?”

Amber aligns
herself with my side and mumbles, “I know, right?”

Together we watch
fucking Mark catch up to our Nicole and turn her around.

“Amber, she can’t
date him,” I whisper.

Amber pauses,
thinking. She looks at me from the corner of her eyes. “I don’t blame you.
Well, you know Nico – she doesn’t get attached.” She puts her hands in
her jacket, pausing. “Well… except for
that
guy.”

I blink, turning
to face her. “What guy?”

“Well, you know.
Michael.
She fell in love with him! And
it turns out he was married.” She pauses, looking at my confused face.
“Remember?”

I stare at her,
bitch-slapped. “He was married? She slept with Mark
and
a married man? What the fuck?”

Amber’s eyes flash
wide. “No! No no no. She didn’t
sleep
with Michael. She didn’t know he was married and the second she found out, she
stopped using the studio and never saw him again!”

Why did she just
tell Amber? My heart aches thinking I’m on the outside, the third wheel. I
don’t want to be that. “Oh. God,
married
.
That’s so horrible! Wait… why didn’t she want me to know?”

Amber stares at
me. “She was devastated. She asked me to keep it to myself so she could get
over it and never talk about it again. And you were going through what you were
going through. She and I didn’t say it, but we were walking around eggshells
with you for awhile.”

I catch Chris’s
eyes looking at me, through the window. “Oh. I didn’t know that.” He’s staring
at me from our table. I wave, weakly. He turns away.

I hear Amber
saying, “Anyway…this, so soon after that. It’s going to kill her.”

I look over to see
Nicole kiss Mark. My stomach lurches. A jealous splinter tears through me. This
is not something I ever expected to see. Amber takes my hand.

 
“I’m sorry, Jess. I can’t even imagine
what you guys must be feeling right now.”

I grit my teeth
and look down at my feet. “We feel shitty. That’s how we feel.”

“She’s coming
back. Alone.”

We both watch
Nicole as she walks slowly back to us with tears in her eyes. The sight of her
crying jars me. She really cares about him, it’s plain as day on her face. But
a steel wall locks down in my mind.
This
isn’t supposed to be happening.
So many emotions sweep over me.

I feel like I’m
going to throw up.

“Nicole.”

“I know,” she
says, as cold as ice.

“It’s just too
weird.”

“It’s more than
weird. It’s impossible.” Her breath catches in a sob, and Amber walks to her
first. I will not let Amber rescue the day again! It hurts, but I hurry forward
and take her in my arms, too, the three of us in a group-hug, our heads down.