I Love My Chance (Nicole's Erotic Romance 3) (2 page)

Grant blinks,
intimidated. His eyes dart from me to Mark and back again. His jaw sets. He
glares at Mark, shifty-eyed. He tightens his hold on the leash. His dog sits at
attention, waiting for his master’s command. It’s an extremely large and scary
mutt. Exactly the size of a dog Grant would have. If people had cars in Manhattan,
Grant would have a Hummer. That’s the kind of asshole he is. Fear spirals
through my chest. What if he’s taught that dog to attack?
This is the moment I’ve been dreading, where everything goes to
shit.

Grant gets eerily
still. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout, man.”

Mark is steady,
unwavering. “I think you do. Why don’t you move along? You and your puppy.”

That dog is no
puppy. Grant twitches. He glares at Mark, then to me. My fingernails dig into
my palms. I hold his stare until he looks away first. With animals like him,
you have to. I hold my breath. My heartbeat is pounding… even in my hair
follicles. My adrenaline is pumping so hard it hurts. I’m waiting for that dog
to lunge, snarling and drooling through the air.

Grant turns and
whispers to it in a barely audible voice, “Looks like we’re not wanted.” He
sneaks a scary glance to Mark, and says to the staring dog. “C’mon, buddy.”

They walk away.
I’m stunned! I thought he’d do more. I can’t believe he gave up so quickly. I’m
too tense to be relieved, but the surprise is palpable.

Mark turns to me,
about to speak. But he doesn’t get the chance to say what he was going to.
Grant doesn’t give him that chance. He yells at us, loud enough for Rhode
Island to hear, “I’m going. Because where you are, asshole, I’ve already been
. HAVEN’T I, NICOLE?”
He keeps walking.
He’s a safe distance away from Mark, now and he knows it. The coward.

Mark tenses, his
eyes locked on mine. Oh my God. What is he thinking? Grant just said out loud
what I would never want Mark to know. He just planted an image in Mark’s head
of Grant and I naked, doing things I don’t want Mark to ever picture me doing
with another man. I could deny it. I could worry about what he thinks and lie
to his face for the rest of our lives. Like that would ever undo what Grant
just did. Fuck this! Anger blows up inside me. A switch in me flips on, fast.

I step quickly
around, taking a couple steps away. Mark spins around, but not quick enough to
beat me.

“HEY, GRANT!”

Grant turns, his
mammoth dog stopping just ahead of him.

I slam my hands on
my hips and cock my head. “Have you been here? Because
I
don’t remember it. Oh, wait! That two minute college-style rabbit
fuck? That was you?!! Oh yeah! I wouldn’t go bragging about that. Because if
that’s the best you’ve got, no wonder all you’ve got with you on this beautiful
Saturday is a dog!” I look him up and down with a look that says
, you’ve gotta be kidding me with your
ridiculous self
.

He’s shocked. He
looks to Mark.

“Don’t look to
him! This isn’t
oh poor me, she just
offended my manhood
. This is
me
telling
you
the truth so you can stop
violating women with your ego, your bad sex and your FACE.” I wipe my hands
together. “I’m done. Keep moving. You and your
puppy
.”

Grant is confused,
beyond furious. But I’ve given him nothing but a humiliated leg to stand on.
“Bitch.”

In my sweetest
voice, I coo, “Awwww. Is that what you named her?”

He flips me off,
grunts as he’s pulled awkwardly away in a jerking leap by his dog who's just
seen a squirrel and races to catch it. A squirrel! And here I thought that dog
was dangerous. My heart is racing. I feel charged, powerful and freaked out,
all at once. I’m breathing fast, trying to calm myself.

“That was hot,”
Mark says, behind me.

I spin around,
eyes round. “What?”

His eyes shine
with surprised awe. “As Yoda would say,
hot,
that was
.”

I’m stunned. All
of my anger dissipates, wilting under grateful shock. “You think so?”

He shakes his head
in disbelief, makes a
phew
sound,
impressed. “Yeah. That was fucking hot.”

I melt. It is in
this moment that I realize how important Mark’s opinion is to me. I was so
scared he would judge me for so many reasons with what just happened. My
heartbeat slamming in my chest was mostly from fear that he would be scared off
by any or all of it. And now, looking at him, I’m just plain stunned. I step
closer to him, carefully holding out my hand, palm facing him, collecting
myself. I still can’t totally believe him. I still feel the need to explain.
“Please don’t judge me for dating that jerk. We only had four dates. I was in a
bad place. My choices were all screwed up at the time. As soon as I realized he
was not a good guy, I ended it.”

Mark nods,
listening. “I understand,” but I don’t even hear him say that because I’ve
barely come up for air, talking fast.

“It’s just that I
couldn’t let him get away with saying that about me. Not in front of you. So
now you’ve seen it. That’s my temper. Scary, huh? I know. I got it from my
father. It’s so embarrassing and… intimidating, I know. I’m working on it. I’ve
gotten sooooooo much better, but…” I stop because he’s smiling at me. “What?”

He gives me a
wicked smile, staring at my mouth. “You don’t intimidate me. I said
hot…
not
I’m outta here
.”

“You really
thought my temper was hot?”

He nods, pushes
his hands into his pockets. “I’m covering up a tent here, so um… yeah. Unless
it’s ever pointed at me, of course. If that happened, I would have to show you
who’s boss.”

My heart skips,
and my body tingles. The idea is more than a little exciting. “Really?”

He chuckles,
smiling sideways. “Really.” His expression shifts, making it clear he’s about
to say something profound. “You want to know something? It’s serious. Are you
ready?”

I gulp, bracing
myself. “Yes.”

He looks to the
ground. “I’ve slept with some bat-shit crazies in my time, too.”

A smile sneaks out
of me. He got me again. “You have, huh?”

He nods slowly,
like this is big, scary news. “We’re talking restraining orders.”

I’m skeptical
and
gullible. Because now I don’t know
what to believe! “Restraining orders?”

“Hanging from
trees outside my window. Heavy-breathing voice messages. Boiled bunnies. The
works.” He nods, his eyes laughing, his mouth straight-line somber.

I purse my lips,
thinking,
Damn, he got me again
! “Men
probably shouldn’t own bunnies.”

He shrugs, says in
all seriousness, “We do it just to see who the real nutcases are. Saves us a
lot in alimony. A few bunnies sacrificed for the greater cause.”

I laugh. “That’s
sick.”

He covers his
heart with his hand. “The trick is you don’t name them. That way you don’t get
attached.”

“The bunnies or
the women?”

“The women.”

I lean up and kiss
him. “Thank you.”

He deflects my
gratitude. “Seriously, though. All kidding aside. In this day and age if you’re
over twenty-five and not married, you’ve dated crazy. But I have to say, the
way you told him off?” He shakes his head and makes a
phew
noise again. “And here I thought I needed to protect you.”

He takes my hand
and I’m quiet for a bit as we walk in the opposite direction from Grant. I’m
remembering what Jessica said about making room for
the man to be the man
. I’ve been alone for so long, I haven’t
needed anyone to back me up. What if I’d let Mark handle Grant – what if
I hadn't jumped to my own defense?

“Mark…”

He looks down at me.
“Yeah?”

I pause for
second, struggling to be this open, to say what I really want. I breathe in the
strength. “I love that you protected me. I do need that.”

His eyebrows rise up, pleased. “Yeah?”

I nod. “When you
stood between us, you were amazing.”

His arm goes
happily around me.

“So what were we
talking about,” Mark asks, his mood light.

I snuggle close
against him, my arm around him, too. “I can’t remember. Oh, we were talking
about your meeting. They loved it. So, does that mean it’s now a ‘go’?”

He’s silent. I
crane to look at him. He throws me a nervous look. “Let’s go get a hot dog!”

I stare, baffled.
“A hot dog?”

“Yeah! I’ve always
wanted to try one – you know, from those stands. Come on!” He quickly
turns to lead me in the direction of 59
^th
Street. I hop-walk to
match his time as he walks faster. Mark points to where we can see the speck of
a hotdog cart in the distance. “That one! We’ll get one from that guy.”

“Your face is
making me nervous.”

“What face? I just
want a hot dog.”

I point my free
hand at him. “And now that face! The one that says you’re innocent when you’re
not innocent! My best friend does that!”

“Amber?” he asks,
not looking back, legs moving fast.

I shake my head,
breaking into a trot. “No. My other best friend. Slow down!”

“You have a best
friend named
Slow Down
?”

I laugh and pick
up to a jog. He lets go of my hand, breaks into a full-on run, and the chase is
on! I run after him, laughing, as he dodges me several hilarious times. He
makes me chase him all the way to the hot dog stand. I’m out of shape so he
loses me long before we get there. I finally catch up, panting my heart out.
He’s out of breath, too; his grin is like a little kid’s.

I grab my thighs,
bent over, chest heaving. I look up at him and scowl. “Stop checking your
imaginary watch!”

He feigns
surprise. “You can’t see my watch? I see it.”

I shake my head,
standing up straight, holding onto my ribs for consolation. “Oh, right. Sorry.
It’s very expensive. My apologies.”

“Cost my mom nine
months to make it! What do you want on your hot dog?” He smiles, filled with
mock pride and nods in the direction of the forty-something Lithuanian vendor
who’s watching us, not amused.

 
I hold my hand onto my chest. “I really
need to start going to a gym or something. Umm… mustard.”

He stops, throws
me a sideways glance. “Onions?”

“Only if you are.”

“Great. We’ll both
have onions then. Did you get that?”

The vendor stares
at him and starts to work.

Mark and I share a
look. He shrugs, walks over and pulls me close. He kisses me once and leans
back to look into my eyes, his arms wound comfortably around me. “Nicole.” The
warmth in his eyes turns intimate again, as if we’re alone. “This is the best
time I’ve had in years.”

A surprised smile
drifts throughout my whole body. I don’t say anything though, because I’m
having a hard time believing he’s real. There must be something wrong with him.
Nothing in my life is this easy or makes me this happy. Then I remember –
there
is
something wrong with him. A
major flaw called
distance.
This
amazing man lives a very sad and lonely three thousand miles away from me.
Suddenly I realize that may be exactly why that girl – the one he met on
his last trip – ditched him for another guy. I couldn’t understand it
before, but now I know she probably got scared. That’s probably why I’m here
and she isn’t.

Mark’s brow
creases as he searches my eyes. “Hey hey hey. What was that?”

A little puff of
disbelief escapes my lungs. “You see
everything.
”

He nods slowly,
his eyes warm and kind. “It feels good.”

Easy for you to say
, I
think. For me, it feels terrifying.

A heavy Lithuanian
accent booms out of nowhere: “HERE YOU GO!”

Mark and I look
over at him. Letting go of me, Mark reaches for his wallet to pay the man.

I silently watch
him ask for a couple bottles of water. He’s so comfortable in his own skin, and
even better, I feel comfortable in mine when I’m around him. So what if he
lives far away? Maybe long distance can work. I choose to make the opposite
decision she made. I’m not going to let him go. I don’t care what happens. I’m
not going to be an idiot – because that’s what I think she must be. I
hope I never meet her, because I will tell her to her face what she lost… and
that’s just mean.

“Can we have some
chips, too?” I call over.

“The lady wants chips!”

The vendor nods
without expression.

Mark whispers, “He
loved us,” as we walk back into the park.

I laugh. “Our
biggest fan, for sure.”

“Want to sit on
the grass?” He points to a dry patch as we walk up to the lawn. “Here good?”

“Perfect.”

We sit down and
start munching, looking at each other. It’s weird to have a man watch you while
you eat a hot dog. From the amused look on his face, Mark’s thinking all kinds
of sophomorically sexual things. I cover my mouth with my hand, eyes doing a
jig as I try
not
to laugh with my
mouth full.