I Love My Side of the Story

 
I Love My…

Side of The Story

(Amber and Josh)

By Sabrina Lacey

Cover Image of “Amber & Johs” © Conrado

Cover Image of New York © Songquan Deng

Licensed through Shutterstock.com

© Sabrina Lacey

Lacey Publications

All Right Reserved

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters,
businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the
author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No part of this book may
be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or
by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,
without the express written permission of the publisher.

I
LOVE MY SIDE OF THE STORY
Description

When the sex
is good, it's part of a relationship. When it's wilted and non-existent, it's
everything.

How it got
that way? That depends on who you ask…

"Amber here.
 Did Eve ever think of throwing the apple
at Adam?

Because that would have made more
sense."

"Josh here. 
Amber's got my heart on a string,
but I keep yanking it away.

I'm sure in her mind, I'm the bad
guy... but let me tell you what REALLY happened."

Intended for mature audiences.

AMBER

Friday Night

I push my keys into the lock of our brownstone apartment
and turn the knob, juggling two full bags of groceries from Trader Joes that I
had to lug from the store to the subway and up four flights of stairs, since
the elevator is broken. But it’s okay, though. Really. I’ve got it. I close the
door with my hip and sing out, “Honey? Josh? I’m home!”

“In here, Amber,” he calls back with zero enthusiasm.
Wonderful. If I find him sitting in front of the computer again, I just might
chuck an apple at his head.

“I got your favorite hummus from TJ’s,” I call out
as I drop my keys in the dish by the door.

“Need help?”

“Um…I’ve got it! No problem!”

“…Okay.”

Walking past him into the kitchen, I lay the bags
down with a thud. They’re so heavy, but I’ve got it. Unloading the contents
onto our built-in kitchen island – the separation guide between our
kitchen and living room – I look over to Josh. As predicted, he’s on the
couch, locked into the brain-sucking-people-separator called
The Internet
. What is he looking at? I
lean forward, even rise on my tiptoes, but I can’t see it from here.

I open up the photograph-covered fridge and
cringe. Everything is out of place – a direct reflection of our
relationship. Condiments are on the top shelf rather than in the door. A bread
bag is left wide open for air to render it stale and inedible. The lettuce is
on the middle shelf. Again.

With the excitement of meeting Jessica’s
surprising new man last Saturday, I hadn’t had the chance to ask her what to do
about Josh. The advice she gave me has not been working. I asked him for
directions when I knew where to go. I ‘accidentally’ dropped things in front of
him – pens, magazines, a steak – while wearing next to nothing, my
ass up in the air like a cat’s. Okay, not really a steak but now the idea has
occurred to me, I’m entertaining it. But who would clean up the mess? ME. Fuck
that.

Less Than A
Year Ago

“Someone’s going to come in and catch us!” I
giggle, tugging away, but Josh strengthens his hold on me and travels his hands
down my sides, over my hip and around to my ass to pull me closer as he
passionately kisses my neck.

“You’re killing me in this dress, Amber,” he
whispers hoarsely against my ear. “I can be quick, baby. Just let me give it a
try.” The heat of his breath warms my overly sensitive earlobes, and tingles
sweep down my chest. I feel my nipples harden, pressing rebelliously against my
better judgment and the inside of my bra. Marlena’s walk-in closet has never
seen this kind of action before. I know because Marlena is into women so even
if her lovers attacked her in here, they wouldn’t have what Josh has; a solid
eight inches with thickness to match.

“They’re going to notice we’re gone!” I object, my
objections serious. Public sex is not my thing, normally. When we were downstairs
with the fifty other people celebrating nothing in particular (a party to have
a party), Josh had taken my hand saying he had to show me something. I knew that
was code that we were going to go make out, but I never expected he’d try to mount
me in the host’s bedroom closet. I brought Marlena a kale and red potato salad.
It’s not right to be hidden away screwing in her gorgeous closet while she eats
it!

“The only thing they’d notice is if the wine ran
out,” he counters in a low hungry whisper, his fingers pulling up my baby-blue
tunic dress. Jess picked it out. She said it brings out my eyes. I’ll have to
tell her it brings out my vagina, too. But seriously…it’s adorable, and I don’t
want him to wrinkle it. Conversely, at the same time, I
also
want to see if he’s going to go through with this nonsense. It
is kind of hot, I have to admit. We haven’t been able to keep our hands off
each other since we started dating.

He takes my earlobe between his teeth and gives it
a little nibble, knowing this drives me crazy. The effect is immediate. All my
misgivings and inhibitions fall away, my sense of decency disappearing closely
behind. I wrap my arms underneath his and press my breasts into him. He turns
his head and kisses me, his desire for me obvious in the warmth emanating behind
the zipper of his sexy dark blue jeans.

Cutting into the hotness is the out-of-place dog
paw scratching of Dimitri, Marlena’s Pug. He’s found us and is on the other
side of the closet door trying to pretend he’s larger than he is. Oh my God!
What if someone comes up here to look for him! I pull away and whisper, my eyes
big and terrified. “I’m scared, Josh. What if…”

Startled by my reaction and the unexpected
interruption of sharp well-groomed little nails, Josh looks at me. There’s something
behind his eyes that takes my breath away. It’s protection. I’ve never seen a
man look at me like that before. He kisses me once. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve
got you.”

I believe him. I don’t know why, but all of my
soul believes him, so much so that the thought enters my mind for the first
time that he might be the one. Something in my gut thinks it’s possible. Wow.
Okay. So fuck Dimitri and Marlena and the fifty or so people downstairs. And
fuck me. Now. I surrender myself to him. My breath catches as he pushes me
against some coats, parting them with our urgency. He pulls up my thigh and I
hook my leg around his waist. I reach down and unzip his jeans because I’m too
impatient to wait for him to do it. He never wears underwear of any kind so his
full cock is in my hand immediately. The second I touch the silky smooth shaft
of it and run my hand down its length, he moans his sexy man-moan. His eyes
roll back and close. I watch him as he leans into my stroke. I love doing this
to him. He weaves his fingers underneath the cotton of my panties and touches
me, too.

“Oh Josh, that feels soooo good,” I purr into his
ear.

“You’re so wet, baby. You get wetter every time.”

“I’m yours,” I breathe into his mouth and he comes
alive into action. He shoves my hand off him, pulls up my other leg and without
need or use of his hands, shoves his throbbing cock deeply in me with one
talented, mind-blowing push. I gasp into his mouth and his tongue latches onto
mine. I press my breasts hard into the muscles of his chest and hold on tight
with my arms around him. He uses the wall - the coats, the shirts, the desire -
to hold me up as he slides in and out me, his speed growing in time and
pressure. I love the way he sounds, the way he smells, the way he feels. Inside
of me I’m lit up with an ache that feels like it will
never
be satisfied.

Swinging his hips upward and pushing it in as far
as he can get, he separates our mouths long enough to whisper, “I’m fucking you
and nobody knows. My cock is inside you and I can feel you dripping down it. Do
you feel that? Do you feel how hard I am, how hard you make me?”

I nod, my eyes hooded and sexy as my orgasm
builds. “I’m gonna cum, Josh. Are you close?”

“Fuck yeah I am,” he half-smiles then pushes out
his tongue. I grab on and bite it gently, sucking it and pulling it in and out
in perfect time with his cock as it pulls in and out of me. I can feel my heart
beat between my legs, filled by this man,
whole
.

The waterfall of ecstasy breaks inside of me. Panting,
moaning into each other, each thrust overturns our sanity until we are spent,
lax and elated. He leans against me, mashing me – but I don’t mind. We’re
pretty impressed with ourselves. I giggle and hug him.
 

“I love you, Amber,” he says quietly into my ear.

I blink. My mind jumps to attention. Did I just
hear what I think I heard? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I blink again and
snap a cerebral photograph of this moment. This photograph will never fade for
me; this is the first time Josh has said
I
love you
.

I feel like I want to cry, I’m so happy. I press
my cheek against him and say, “I love you, too, Josh.” I can feel his cheek
expand against my cheek so I know he’s smiling. He stays inside me a moment
longer so we can hold onto this feeling. When he pulls out of me, it feels like
I’ve lost a part of me for a split second. Which I know is ridiculous. He lowers
my legs down and stands me on the floor again, my limbs wobbly from more than
just fucking. He kisses my grin and laughs.

“I’ll get you a tissue. Hang on.” Pulling up and
zipping his pants, he opens the closet door and side steps the jumping Pug. I
correct my panties and my dress and lean down to pet the little beast. Dimitri
is super cute. Weird looking, but adorable.

Josh returns and hands me a tissue, which I fold
neatly into a rectangle to tuck into my panties. “Can I officially call you my
girlfriend, now?” he asks behind a mischievous smirk, as he watches my
undignified act.

I laugh and cover myself again with the drop of my
dress hem, walk to him and touch his chest. “Umm… yes.”

“Good.” He pulls me tightly to him. I throw my
arms around his neck and kiss him until I bust up laughing and can’t stop. He
cocks his head to the side, his arms locked around my waist.

“It’s just, look at us. This is a big moment and
we’re in Marlena’s closet!”

“We have a lot of fun, you and I.” He smiles, but
when it changes to a wolf-stare, I push him away.

“Down turbo. We have to go back to the party.”

“I could go again,” he says, reaching for my
departing hand as I pass him.

I look back over my shoulder and wink, “Why do you
think I love you?”

Back downstairs

We join Jess and David by the inactive yet still
somehow cozy fireplace. I love her hair pulled up into a funky, messy bun like
that, red strands hanging sensually down. She’s wearing a simple black dress,
no eye makeup and striking reddish brown lipstick that looks fantastically
retro. I have to ask her what shade it is. In addition to being wonderful
people, my friends are hot. I’m the ‘cute’ one of the bunch, which is fine.
Everyone always calls me cute, and never ever ‘beautiful.’

But I bet they’ll call me beautiful on my wedding
day.

“Where have you guys been?” Jess asks with suspicion.

“Yeah, we were about to send the dogs after you,”
David says, oblivious.

Josh laughs, takes my hand and says, “One found us.”

Their faces reflect their confusion so I deflect
quickly with a shrug as I hand-squeeze covertly to Josh;
it’s our little secret, dummy
. He gets the message, kisses me
quickly on the top of my head and changes the subject to the merits of Guinness
above all other beers. David enthusiastically gets on board, arguing that
Stella Artois isn’t half bad if you don’t want to drink a meal.

I am not comfortable with everyone knowing our
private business. By ‘everyone,’ I mean David. He doesn’t get to have a visual
of Josh and I fucking in a closet. That juicy little tidbit is for me and my
man to know about, and us alone. Yep, just us… and my girlfriends. And no time
like the present. I shoot a look at my bestie telling her it’s time to leave
the boys, because someone has details. We excuse ourselves with a white lie
that we’re going to look for the host. If we said we were going to look for
Nicole, they’d catch on and a convo spurred from curiosity could ignite. This I
don’t want.

We find Nicole on the balcony flirting
outrageously with a less than awesome guy. I’ll allow that my bar is raised
pretty high when it comes to my girls; you have to be amazing to be worthy of
my Nico. (That’s my nickname for her. Jess won’t adopt it because she’s mad I
thought of it first, and she’s very competitive with me. I don’t know why, but
she is. She won’t admit it, though.)

“We have to talk to you,” Jess and I say in
unison, looking at the dude like it’s time for him to go – so sorry.

“Uh… I’ll catch up with you later?” the poor guy asks,
ignoring my impolitely raised eyebrows. Jess threads her arm through mine to team
up. All she needs to do is smile oddly and the deed is done.

 
“Have
a good night,” Nicole says, much more kindly than either of us. When he leaves,
dejected, she turns to me.

“Amber, that was horrible. Your face screamed
, get the fuck out of here, buddy
.”

Jessica agrees, “Seriously, Amber, your face
castrated the guy. He can no longer have children.”

I urgently search through the glass door for him. “Oh
no! I don’t want to castrate anybody! Should I apologize? I feel horrible now!”
I can’t see him in the crowd. Truth? I’m using this as a reason to look in at
Josh.

Jessica looks over the balcony edge at the city
below, stands on her tiptoes, crawls up a bit, and leans over. “Don’t worry
about it. He’ll be fine. Guys deal with that all the time.”

“JESSICA!” Nicole and I cry out, scared.

She jumps down and laughs. “I wasn’t going to fall
over! C’mon! It’s scary…wanna try it?” We both give an emphatic no, with
matching expressions of
what the fuck.

“Um…how’s work, Jess?” I ask with meaning,
implying her self-sabotaging ways might have something to do with her being
tortured every single day. Anything to act out the rage she must be feeling.

“The Bitch? She’s unbelievable. I’m quitting
tomorrow… probably.”

I can tell she doesn’t mean it. “No, you’re not.”

Nicole confesses, “I wish you would. I have no
idea why you put up with it like you do.”

With her back to Manhattan and both feet safely
planted on the tile floor, thank God, Jess leans against the railing and
shrugs. The thought of losing my girlfriends – even the remotest hint of
a thought – and I am a wreck.

Jess frowns and gets quiet. “I don’t know. Do you
know what she did to me today?” We both shake our heads. “She flew out of the
palatial palace that is her office, and accused me of drinking all her gin!”

“You hate gin!” Nicole says with a look of
duh.

“I KNOW!” Jess hits herself in the head with the
ball of her palm and holds both fists up to the heavens for an answer, because
we sure as heck don’t have one. “We don’t all get to be self-employed like
Nicole here, so...”

“Excuse me! Don’t make it sound like it’s easy.
It’s far from that.” Nicole waves her hand to change the subject. “Don’t even
get me started. I’m at a party.”

Jess shifts to me, hopefully. “Maybe I could go
into Casting?”

I take a step to her and move stray strands of
flowing red hair back into place. They went a little wacko with the breeze. “You’re
welcome to join me. I think you’d be a great casting director. You don’t like
actors.”

“Yeah, that would make it tough. I like Josh,
though. So they’re not
all
self-involved narcissists.”

“Redundant?” I ask.

“Perhaps,” she answers with a smile.

“So, where’d the gin go?” Nicole asks, pulling out
a cigarette. Both Jess and I stare at it, open-mouthed.

Jess quickly tries to distract me with a
rapid-fire response. “She drank it!”

“Why do you hate yourself?”

“Excuse me?” Nicole asks, stunned.

I tell her, “You can’t love yourself and smoke
those things, Nicole. And I saw you before, looking all distracted. It was
because you wanted a cigarette, isn’t it? Tell me you’re not addicted.”

“I’m not addicted. I just smoke these when I’m
out. It’s a social thing. Jessica, can you believe the balls on this girl? What
kind of person accuses someone of not loving herself?”

“The kind who loves you! It’s called a
friend
. It hurts me to see you lighting
up a cancer stick like it’s no big deal. I need you to stay alive, thank you
very much.”

Trying to convince Nicole, Jess offers, “That’s so
sweet…?”

“I’m not feeling the sweetness,” Nicole argues,
dryly.

I cross my arms and look back inside. “Whatever.”

Jessica sighs. “Well, if we’re going to talk about
this, it gets a little harsh to talk about the obvious stuff like cancer, etc.…
honest, but harsh – so let’s talk
practicality
.
You know how much those things cost now? You could buy a meal, or a really nice
glass of some tasty vino with what you paid for that. Then you’d have better
breath, be more relaxed, perhaps even a little tipsy. No harm no foul, and you
could find another way to get your dopamine levels up.”

“Yeah!” I cry out.

“Like what other way, Amber?” Nicole asks, staring
at me defiantly as she lights the cigarette. So rude.

I cry out, “Jess said it!”

Nicole takes a nice long annoyingly gross drag,
cocks her gorgeous head to the side, and says pointedly, “And don’t think I
didn’t notice you calling me ‘Ni-cole’ like when a mom says your whole name because
she’s pissed.”

Jess explodes into a huge contagious Jess-laugh.
Not to be undone I shoot back, “Another way to get your dopamine levels up is
to have sex, NICOLE.”

Nicole takes another drag and walks her long legs
over the balcony where she looks over. She turns and demurs, “I have plenty of
sex. Sex…is not my problem.”

“She does have plenty of sex,” Jess agrees,
nodding beside her.

As they wait for my inevitable rebuttal, I
realize…
this is my moment
.

“But maybe what you need is sex with someone you…”
I look down to my taupe-colored flats for a dramatic pause before I squeak,
“…love?”

“Did you tell Josh you love him!?” Jess yells.

“Shh!!!” I whip around to look inside …and it
appears no one heard her.

Nicole’s eyes go soft. The fight is over just like
that. “Oh wow Amber – that’s so great!” She tosses her cigarette off the
balcony to come give me a hug.

“What if that lands on someone’s head?” Her
embrace shuts me up. Jess comes in to make it a group hug. Me and my girls. So
glad they’re here to share this with me when it happened. When we separate, we
all break into a happy dance.

“Well, of course sex with someone I love is the
goal, Amber. I just haven’t found him yet,” Nicole admits.

Jess demands again. “I need to hear you say it!”

I nod happily, dancing some more all by myself and
sing, “I told him I love him.”

Nicole prods, “Who said it first?”

“Are you kidding me? He did! I would never say it
first. Did you say it first to David?” I ask Jess, although I’m guiltily aware
we’re leaving Nicole out, since she hasn’t been in a relationship for a long
time… but that is not my fault.

Jess balks, “No way! Do you think I’m crazy?”

Nicole and I both answer, “YES.”

Looking innocent but laughing on the inside, Jess
blinks a few times for comedic emphasis. “What?!” This kind of honesty is
earned, so what if it takes awhile to get here?

“We were upstairs, and… he just kind of said it,
out of nowhere.”

Not born yesterday, is my Jess. “What were you
doing upstairs?”

Nicole didn’t catch on and says, “I haven’t been up
there yet. I’m sure it’s fabulous.”

“Marlena has excellent taste,” I agree,
“Especially in closets.”

Jess starts bouncing up and down. “Oh please,
please PLEASE tell me you guys fucked in Marlena’s closet!”

“What?!! Honey! I will throw these cigarettes away
if you did. Now don’t lie to me. These are expensive, as we all know.” Nicole
pulls the box out of her bag and holds it up.

I cry out excitedly, “Well… start tossing!”

Nicole’s eyes widen more than I have ever seen
them. “You did NOT!”

“I did!!!” I laugh, grabbing onto Jess’ hands as
we bounce around together like total dufuses.

Nicole sends the whole pack flying over her
shoulder off the balcony where with the foot traffic in this city, it will most
definitely land on some poor soul’s head nineteen flights down.

I stop bouncing and plant my hands on my hips.
“Nicole!”

“Oh, I just gave someone a gift. And you used my
whole name again. You better watch that stuff. It gives you away…MOM.”

Jessica waves off the littering. “Seriously. She
just made someone’s day, are you kidding me? Let it go.”

“Like I just did,” Nicole jokes.

“Exactly,” laughs Jess.

“Ha. Ha. Not funny,” I say, though I’m only
half-serious.

“So I guess this means that three people have come
out of Marlena’s closet,” Jess says and I smack her arm playfully several times
as she feigns hurt and surprise.

Reapplying lipstick with the help of her compact
mirror, Nicole asks, “Is Josh man enough for you, honey?”

“Of course he is. What do you mean?”

“Well…” She puts the lid back on it as she slides
it into her bag. “You’re tiny, but you’re all ambition and go-get-it-ness. Your
man is going to have to be accomplished to get your respect.”

Jess adds, “You run your own company.”

“It’s just a casting office,” I argue.

“Yeah, but you don’t work for anyone. They work
for YOU. And you made that happen rapid-fire.”

I turn to look at my new boyfriend through the
glass door. He’s still talking to David. He looks over at me and smiles. He
just told me he loves me and here I am wondering if he’s enough. I whip around
and announce, “Josh is amazing. He totally keeps me interested. Yes, I never
thought I’d date an actor and I know I’ve said that a million and one times,
but Josh has never – not once – asked me to audition or made what I
do any kind of a factor or a problem. And he feels like home, guys. I don’t
know. Don’t talk badly about him, okay?”

They nod, understanding and hopeful. Jess speaks
up first, “He’s great.”

We stand there together; staring at Josh who is
unaware he’s being dissected. Why are we so hard on men? Beside me, Nicole admits,
“He really does love you. You can see it when he looks at you. I do like him.”

“Yeah?” I ask, needing encouragement.

“Yes. I’m not just saying it. I want what you guys
have. I was just playing devil’s advocate, because I know you,” Nicole answers.

“Totally,” Jess smiles, reassuringly.

“Well cut it out. I need you to think the best of
him. Oh no! Is that bad?”

They mumble no and take my hands on either side of
me. The three us fall silent, lost in thoughts we don’t share as we watch Josh
and David talking to each other. My fears fade away as it hits me – standing
right over there is the man I love. And he loves me, too.